• Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Congratulations! and good luck with the move

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    There are many hidden joys, i thought i would never enjoy music again, the association was so strong! i was wrong, i still enjoy it, and now i can drive in the night and listen to music, it helps my mid life crisis lol

  • Teazy posted an update 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    A new unexpected joy! was able to drop my teenage son to a party miles away (which would not have happened b4) but on the way home radio was playing all my fav songs from the 80s, just me driving in the dark, singing my heart out, my own friday night party!! felt part if the scene again and less of a frump, rocking sober mama !! music sounds better in the car, i forgot how much i used to love it, driving and music in the dark, stay sober, we can have lots if fun still!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    i agree with Lucy, seems a bit strange to be bragging about that to a friend who’s just stopped! Thread carefully..

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    thats great and yes good sleep does wonders

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Even if you are doubting AA, please don’t confuse that with your choice to be alcohol free, i used to do that in the early days, submerge myself in some recovery system and when i found any fault, or something i didnt like, i woukd throw the towel in and start drinking again! really it was an excuse to start again, but at the time i couldn’t see that.

    • @MissFreedom I think you need to plan something really special for your 500 days. That is an amazing milestone! Its not blah blah. You should really push the waka out for that day. TREAT YOURSELF, YOU DESERVE IT. Tell us what you are going to do, I’d love to know!

    • @teazy You know what ? Yeah .
      Because ever since i told myself and my partner a week ago i would drink again , strangely i have been wincing just thinking of actually having that first glass . And obviously , not drinking . Something inside ( my guts ) knows .
      I really appreciate your comment , thanks xx

  • Teazy posted an update 4 weeks ago

    Hi, life can be a drag sometimes ..lately ive been ruminating about my life choices, what would my life looked like if i had been sober, would i have made that move, taken that job , left that relationship. Even though i wasnt drunk all the time i used to drink heavily at problem points when big choices had to be made..sound familiar? anyway driving myself crazy so…now im just trying to focus on the positives of not drinking, thought id post here..today i cooked my son a very late roast dinner after he came home from his trip, uk time 10pm, i researched knitting patterns for my toddler granddaughter, i washed all the windows in the house (ok maybe not a positive hehe but definately worthwhile) ..none of this would have happened if i had been drinking, oh and i feel amazing!! got a wedding coming up but im not dreading it, got my excuse ready and my plan in my head..stay sober peeps its worth every minute.

    • i can relate to this alot, think there are many of us who drank through important life choices in the past. funnily enough this was something i was thinking about today. im sure my life would be very different the last 12 years if i had stayed sober, but id rather take the positives from being in a position where i can look forward to my new sober self and the choices ahead 🙂 so pleased your feeling great AF, it really is worth it.

    • This really hits home and made me feel less alone. I had similar thoughts in the past and will have them again. Thanks for sharing this oxoxoxo

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Its understandable but at least you know those three months sober were better than drinking. If sober wasnt better we would all stay drunk and give up the fight! I am also battling tiredness after falling off the wagon, its never worth it, they say to jeep going and one day it will stick!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    family members can hurt us the most, expect less, forgive more is my new coping mantra

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    me and my family moved to the country 6 years ago and although its great, crime free, clean air, beautiful surroundings, i miss city life. Im not moving back to the city but i know what you mean about connections. ive made some new friends here but theyve lived here all their lives, unlike all walks of life city folk! i miss the diversity of the people in cities, i miss the services, being able to go to the cinema or even a book club, geez i am shallow i guess lol, if you want to move go for it xx

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    i always feel better at day 10, ive heard it takes about 10 days for the alcohol to leave system i hope my next day 10 is my last!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    thanks Jaxis yes i will be avoiding everything for a while and am thinking of joining a class or something to fill the gap

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    thanks Mary

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    thanks leslie, i have my husband and kids who are supportive, i ghink i need to walk away from some of the others, im irish and itnis a cultural thing for sure, people act as if youre snobbjng them or somethjng if you dont drink, thanks for the support.

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month ago

    hey just checking in again, feeling so yucky since my recent slip, am doing lots of analysing and have come to the conclusion that i cant be in drinking situations. I was loving my sober life, really loving it except something in me panics when im around old drinking buddies or certain drinking family members…i take full responsibilty and im not blaming anyone or anything else..but for me i just cant do it! i cave every time, history has taught me this. At the same time i have had good social experiences where i haven’t wanted to drink and heres why…when i know im not going to drink i drive and people dont hassle me then. if i havent had the car is where ive had real problems, ive told people im not drinking because its been making me too tired and giving me migraines. yes ive been told, i understand, so just have a couple of beers then…ive even been accused if being a martyr by a family memeber…i just find this so difficult..everything else is so much better but socialising sober really does suck for me anyway! Has anyone else found this problem and how do you overcome it? i dont want to become a hermit even though right now that beats being on this also ive recently had a friend call her brother to drives us home because my not drinking was not acceptable to her….jeeez

    • This sucks. I’m upset for you that your social circle is being less than supportive. A martyr? Jeez. How have we gotten to a point where society casts a negative light on people that don’t want to drink!? That’s bonkers. Is there anyone else sober you can hang out with for now, while you gain the strength it takes to be able to consistently say no in social situations? It sounds to me like some of your encounters with friends and family are down right toxic, and those people should not be defining your journey with or without alcohol. There is NOTHING wrong with being AF, I don’t care what any friend of yours finds “acceptable”! You said yourself you were loving your sober life. Hang on to that feeling and screw all that background noise! I hope it gets better for you <3

      • Someone recently quoted on this site you cannot get well in the environment which made you sick. That sounded really true. If these friends and family are not helping walk away, you can always go back later when you feel stronger. Someone who calls you a martyr for not downing a substance which make you ill is not worth the effort. maybe you just need to do the socialising different see what is out there, push a few doors one or two might open and give you more options. You are worth more than this lot.

      • thanks leslie, i have my husband and kids who are supportive, i ghink i need to walk away from some of the others, im irish and itnis a cultural thing for sure, people act as if youre snobbjng them or somethjng if you dont drink, thanks for the support.

    • I really understand where you are coming from @Teazy as this is exactly what I am going through. I feel like I can’t be in any situations where there is drinking as it is too tempting, and I definitely like my sober life better. @MaryB good advice I need to find new ways to socialise as well.

      • thanks Jaxis yes i will be avoiding everything for a while and am thinking of joining a class or something to fill the gap

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    fantastic and gives the rest of us hope, been on this road for 3 years now so am hopeful

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month ago

    back to day 1, its so hard starting all over again, least i know its worth it, sometimes i think will i ever be free? the wine witch wins a lot but i keep trying, one day it might stick, im taking it one day at a time and not counting after day 1 …other serious problems in my life which im struggling with which is what set me off again..hey ho, like the posts on gratitude, helps to stay positive

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Fantastic, go for it

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    You are doing so well! What would one or two drinks do? Really? for the taste? to fit in? i know for me it would just be annoying, maybe give me a headache, tired, it is whole other problem. It would take away all the amazing benefits of sobriety, clarity, peace of mind, natural highs. always being able to drive, we drink to get buzzed, plain and simple and that is what causes all the problems.

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thanks Ladyhawke

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thanks Leslie, this makes. a lot of sense. I know in AA they adopt a similar method of just sticking to one day at a time. Their members never say never. It quietens the addictive voice for sure. All my past binges have been because i panicked and suddenly thought forever is unrealistic. Well it seems that way when you’ve ben drinking forever!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thats growth, fabulous

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Feeling great! Its getting easier and thiings are better this time! sometimes the addictive voice confronts me, it says things like, dont be ridiculous, youll never stop forever, may as well have one now…or…you love the taste of red wine so just stick to that and have one or two…and on and on…but experience has equipped me with the right answers!!! like…I dont know if ill stay stopped but for now its better for me not to, i can always drink next week, month,,,(this buys me time) the next day im so pleased i didn’t drink! and as for one or two..why bother, it would just guve me a bad mood and a headache! yey i win, wine witch, screw you! hehe 😆

    • Awesome thinking – no one ever regretted not drinking the night before – stay strong and good idea to tell yourself i can drink next week etc 🙂

    • I follow a wonderful nutrition and life coach mentor on Instagram who for almost a year has been doing a “I’m not drinking right now” campaign. Her philosophy is that opposed to saying “I quit drinking”, nobody who offers you a drink (including your own brain), needs more of an explanation than “I’m not drinking right now”. This frees your mind from some idea that you are restricted from ever having a drink for the rest of your life (even if you know you will not/should not). It recognizes you are a person with free choice and that instead of forcing yourself not to do something, you are choosing the option not to. I have been using this in my own internal dialogue – “I am not drinking RIGHT NOW.” It has truly helped me to shut down those thoughts of “omg, how am I supposed to go the REST OF MY LIFE without a drink” even if the latter IS my end goal. <3

      • Thanks Leslie, this makes. a lot of sense. I know in AA they adopt a similar method of just sticking to one day at a time. Their members never say never. It quietens the addictive voice for sure. All my past binges have been because i panicked and suddenly thought forever is unrealistic. Well it seems that way when you’ve ben drinking forever!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    wow a stone is a lot, take iit easy! well done for not drinking, some say we have a ‘thinking problem’ as well as a drinking problem! the drinking stoos the thinking but it stoos the joy and happiness too, we just need to relearn how to think more calmly i guess, im still figuring it all out too! 🤯

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Happy Birthday and 406 is amazing! hope you get some nice cake!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I would say dont take all of your ‘realisatiions’ as being rational. I felt like this about many relationshipss when i sobered up, iwas panicking a bit, now things have levelled out again, im thinking more clearly and my relationships are good. what are the good things about yiur husband? after 36 years there are some good things, focus on the positives too and dont feel you have to act on every thought, take some time to breathe …..

    • @teazy that’s a really good point! X

    • That’s sound advice. Thankyou teazy. I have been trying to think of the positives. Sort of doesn’t make alot of difference though.

    • I agree with @Teazy – don’t feel rushed to act while you are still working on the biggest issue. At least you can confront the situation with a clear mind and know that what you feel is what you actually FEEL, and not what booze is making you feel. Hoping the best for you <3

      • Thanks. I feel pretty clear headed without the booze after 90 days. Actually clearer than I have ever felt. I will sit with these emotions and try not to over think. Early days yet.

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    good on you at day 20! yes its scary what alcohol does, i keep trying to work out what is addiction, what is real information,, what is bs, i think theres a lot of bs about addiction because we don’t understand it all. But facts are alcohol is a poison to us, whether it makes us high or feel happy or whatever, to our bodies it is poison! makes you think. why we ever got started on it..

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    hey feeling a lot better, things are looking up, anxiety has passed (for now). Had a few weak moments today, surprising really that i can still be fooled into the one or two wont hurt mentality. Thankfully i was able to remember that one or two is just plain annoying, thats if i even manage it! Got over that hurdle, home to find a well meaning neighbour had brought some wine as a thank you for a favour. Being tested much? thats been stored away safely by hubby. phew, onwards and upwards, sober life is waaaaaay better!

    • It’s such a challenge to be presented with alcohol like that, and have it be so easily accessible… I really admire you for taking a pass on it! It’s good practice in continuing to do so and knowing there will always be situations where alcohol is right there in front of you. Hopefully it gets easier and easier to ignore. 🙂

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I have read this before and as a serial re-setter i can so relate, doing the hard bits over and over and it feels like such hard work without the benefits! this is amazing and gives so much hope to newbies, thanks for posting!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hi, niggling at me for years, ive had several attempts at stopping because i thought i should, i never really wanted to…this time i want to! i know from experience now that the sober life is much better in every possible way and i never want to go back to hangovers, sickness, shame, one big thing ive learned is that alcohol is portrayed wrongly to us by the industry, by social media, by well meaning friends…because no on really wants to share about the misery, the anxiety, the depression right? well not until now, sites like this one are a real eye opener, good luck, read lots and you will be amazed!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    thanks all for the support

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    im still sober, but everything else sucks! it feels like my life is a mess, trying to stay grateful and grounded but the frustration is mounting! its all my own doing but sobriety has taken away the goggles and its a clearer picture but not necessarily a nice one…i know i shouldnt complain because i made a lot of bad choices, maybe i need to make some changes too, big scary changes, yikes! not feeling confident, feel like bambi and ive truly woken up…(are those My feet) 😯

    • Big scarey changes are often the good ones!
      I hear AA recommends no major changes within the first year of becoming sober. I suspect that is extremely good advice..

    • Of course you can complain. It’s frightening. We all make bad choices, it happens. Please give yourself time, you don’t have to fix everything at once and probably you’re not responsible for all of it unless you’re some kind of deity- only your part. It might take a while to work out what it is you really need to do. I agree, don’t rush in. Go you for staying AF, that’s your superpower. (It’s mine anyway 🙂 )

    • Stick with it is all I can say. No matter how ugly and depressing the mountain in front of you looks, it will be uglier and messier if you throw booze into the mix for some temporary relief.
      Sit tight my friend and you will find that doors will open for you. For now it sounds like you need to take extra care of you – yummy food and snacks, maybe a present from you to you. Imagine if you were parent to yourself and treat yourself accordingly. With love, care and patience.
      Hang in there! And whinge away – better to whinge than go quiet and drink. Big hugs xo

    • Baby steps toward that mountain, it’s not going anywhere and you have time. Don’t get down on yourself and go slow with the big changes. Keep posting so we can provide support along the way <3

    • thanks all for the support

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Love your posts Ro, hope your finger is ok, ouch, you sound as clumsy as me ! haa

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Just checking in..still having what i call illlogical thoughts about drinking, they pop up at the weirdest times, when i wouldn’t even usually drink but so far ive beat them down..i say to myself,,thats the addiction speaking, you dont drink anymore, remember? and i have an oh yeah moment…if it werent for this site and the people here, i would really think im insane, but i know this is normal. life is stressy at the minute but have zero urge to make it worse by drinking!! Sober is better, all the way, yey….!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Knitting helped me when i quit smoking, its a great way to whittle away the time and make something creative

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks Agirl, love it when we get insight from doctors, this rings so true!

  • Teazy posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Had a wobble, it was one g and t…the thought came from nowhere, i was at home, tired and my hubby was having a beer in the garden, nothin unusual, suddenly i thought i fancied a leminade and poured gin in too….anyway it tasted horrible, i played the tape forward and didnt finish it….this sounds like a fail but actually its a big milestone. ive never had one and never ‘thought’ myself back out of a wobbke like this..onwards and upwards but dont get complacent folks, xx

    • It’s only a little wobble and you didn’t like it, thing that’s great, so I wouldn’t worry xx

    • That’s a big win, I think, to taste a drink and then put it away! Well done, and now you are that much stronger.

    • That’s huge! Well done for staying strong.

    • I know what a fail is and that was not a fail! That was a huge turning point for you. You can build on that. That’s a great feeling to hit the stop button and pour booze down the drain. Well done you! @teazy

    • Oh wow, thats not even a wobble, thats just flippen awesome!! Well done, you need to hard out be patting yourself on the back and nothing else!!

    • Great recovery, I love when the common sense kicks in! So hard to stop once poured, good on you!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    so true, they call it ‘romancing’ the drink, fantasising about a glass or two in a nice setting, the reality is far from it, hangovers, sickness, yeuch!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Its great being sober, know exactly what you mean about the instinct coming back, you have done amazing 59!

  • Teazy posted an update 2 months ago

    am still loving sober, hate all the not so nice feelings that are cropping up though, mainly anxiety and feeling a bit stressed! guess i just numbed all that out before, also having a freakish personality change, becoming quieter, (was quite ‘bubbly’ or manic, when drinking) more serious, but also more sensitive, not feeling quite so people pleasish…less tolerant of nonsense, realising ive been very shallow, little interest in politics, few hobbies, its kind of amusing, feel like fr jack from fr ted, when he sobers up..are those MY feet? 😬

    • I understand what you are saying, I feel like I’ve changed. I feel calmer and less frantic. Love the father Ted reference!

  • Teazy posted an update 2 months ago

    back from ireland, was a success, mother staying with me now, she has one brandy every night at bed time, rarely finishes it, its like medicine to her, a sleep aid! i have zero temptations as im in care mode and really happy to have her here. Also was easy in ireland for same reason, i had to drive etc..the longer it lasts the better i feel. right now never drinking again seems possible! im scared still, been here so many times, but im finding it easy this time because i m sick of hangovers and being sick, the last few times i drank i was miserable for days afterwards, this is keepin me strong, sober is better folks,x

    • sounds great, @teazy. so glad you are still feeling strong. it is nice when you do not feel like you are missing out and are just living your life. congrats.

  • Teazy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Had my first real challenge last night. Arrived at my mothers house in ireland to find my brother had bought me wine and was drinking. He was literally begging me to drink with him (hes a big binge drinker). I told them im not drinking any more as it gives me headaches and takes too much from me, days recovering etc (all true). He didn’t give up, for a long time but saw i was serious. The old me would have just drank the wine. Whats different this time is i pre empted this happening, prepared what i would say, visualised both outcomes, (if i drank how would the rest of the weekend go) and it worked! I scoffed a lot of candy instead and we all stayed up chatting and laughing until very late. Im so pleased with myself. Sadly by brother stayed up all night drinking, he needs help, an dwnt be able to join us for lunch out today as planned with other family members. Who knows maybe him seeing me happy and sober might encourage him too. Onwards and upwards, drinking is shit folks.

    • Well done you – what a legend 💪

    • Well done, an awesome outcome for you, and yes how lovely it would be if your brother decided to stop drinking.

    • That took strength and courage @teasy! Very well done!

    • @teazy – I love your forethought! So powerful.

    • I second the others. Legend!!! oxooxo And sorry to hear your brother is in the trenches right there…..that was me not long ago and him seeing you sober will definitely have planted a seed. It may not show today or tomorrow, but it stays with people. oxoxoxo Well done, you!

    • Wow awesome job!!! THAT’S how it’s done! 😉

    • Great planning and execution!

    • Awesome @Teazy. And (as usual) I’m taking counsel from your excellent planning idea. I’m facing my 2nd family gathering this weekend. My first was my husband’s birthday back in April – only a couple of weeks sober. I hid my iPad in the bathroom so I could come here for support if I needed it (didn’t thankfully, but was comforted knowing it (you all) were there). Now a barbecue with the family on Sunday. 112 days under my sober belt. Feeling stronger, but love love love your idea to preempt the event. Thank you for sharing that – and congratulations on getting your visit off on the right note. Sober!!! Yes you are! Have an excellent trip.

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thats horrific, beyond words xx

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    thanks for the support, some good tips

  • Teazy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Off to Ireland visiting family. Haven’t told them im not drinking, but as i am driving everywhere it will be fine. Im feeling braver and stronger every day. The joy i have in small things is a real novelty and there is no comparison to the hungover shame faced me. I really do believe alcohol was the cause of my depression, for years i thought i drank to cure it! I have still to deal with the friends/socialising bit..im not so brave there, but family is fine. I have a friends daughters’ hen coming up soon and it is a night of debauchery, staying overnight, they are used to me being the drunk party girl so i am dreading. i really don’t want to go but don’t want to let my friend down, help! otherwise life is good, sweet even!

    • Hi Teazy! I went to Ireland twice in recent years with my dad, drank soda water in pubs. I didn’t think I could stay sober, and didn’t go because of that in the years before. The first evening about 8 relatives were at a pub, everyone had drinks, and I thought how the hell am I going to get through this, would’ve been nice to have a cold one. I went out for a cigarette. I don’t smoke much, but going outside helped. And I had a great night afterwards. I find that after about 20 minutes, nerves subside and you have the same amount of fun as if you were drinking, and way more so later. If something feels too tough, I tend to skip it. I hope you have a wonderful time, and I will look for your updates. : )

    • Turn up slightly late, they will have had a few drinks and won’t notice if you are not drinking. Especially if you hit the tonic waters hard. Good luck, enjoy watching them make fools of yourself in the knowledge you will wake up clear as a bell.

    • thanks for the support, some good tips

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thats a keeper, great work

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Aint that the truth

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks Mari, i always want more too, even when i am ‘good’ and stop, if it werent for my family, i cd happily drink and drink, well not really happily! so glad we are waking up and realising this is madness!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    I know, in the last decade i cd stick to one, bottle that is!, but when i was young it was a lot more, yeuch

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    thanks Agirl 🙂

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