• Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I know, there comes a point where there is no point continuing to drink! im early days again too but this time im really digging deep, why drink when it hurts so much afterwards, what do we get from it, a very short escape at a very hugh price. i think its not a goid deal any more is it? hope you feel better soon, keep going

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Hope you feel better soon, im learning to get out of my head in other ways, reading, movies, distraction in my spare time, working too helps, sometimes doing something productive even if its boring as hell, like washing the windows, i dont know about you but i always feel better if i do something productive, and if im too low to take on that, then…[Read more]

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    thanks NoJudge, my new friends (we moved) are a big trigger cos ive always been their clown when we go out, my own stupid fault, now im not sure how to break it..anyway i think id rather be friendless than having to keep this up, sober is so much better for my family too, theyre the imortant ones afterall. sounds like your hubby is as clueless as…[Read more]

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Yes, this is all so true and uncomfortably relatable! But im facing this demon head on now, i think ive swung back and forth, like many here, because we dont understand the science, but knowledge is power, thank you!

    • Hi @teazy Yes indeed, “knowledge is power!” If you’re going to slay this demon then it helps to understand it and how it fights, and that’s what my book “Alcoholism in a nutshell was written for. You can download the eBook for free from my blog, I think you might find it useful. https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/links/

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Yes! When you put it like that, it makes so much sense, thanks Morgan

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    very good analogy with allergy, somtru, thanks Liberty

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    so true, thanks Clowance

  • Teazy posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hi all, feeling hopeful but not too cocky yet! day 11 so im feeling pretty good now. This is a wellness thing for me but i do struggle because ive always binged when i drank and my body just cant handle it any more. Its difficult because no one is making me do it and no one really cares if i drink or not, so its only a big deal to me. This is…[Read more]

    • I try not to rustle with the A word. It helps some people, but for me it just creates confusion, which in turn does not help my sobriety. I focus on how bad alcohol makes me feel and how I don’t want to live a life where I feel terrible all the time. That is a good enough answer for me. Happy day 11! That’s great!

    • Yay, congrats on day 11.
      For me it’s irrelevant whether or not I’m an alcoholic – it’s not how I think of myself. What I know is I can’t moderate, and if I try 1. It creeps, and 2. I have to spend far too much mental energy on it. The stuff makes me depressed and feeling below par. So I’m better off without it completely.

    • Rocking 11 days! I finally settled into accepting that if it’s a problem for me it’s a problem, no matter what label I give it. If eating dairy was something your body couldn’t handle, would it matter whether that condition had a name or not? What would help would be not eating dairy.
      Sometimes I think all the definitions of what an alcoholic is…[Read more]

    • No one needs a label, just to stop!!! Self harm, stopping us living our best life, that is all we need to know – then turn our focus to the benefits of healthy living, of being present for all events, emotions, life to the full, both good and bad.
      You’re doing this!

    • Hi @Teazy What a great post. You ask “is this alcoholism?” and yes… you’ve nailed it. There’s a difference between what alcohol does to our brain and body, and “alcoholism”, and that is that alcoholism is about changes to our thinking (and therefore our behaviour). And right here you identify the alcohol trap… “The struggle then is to not give…[Read more]

      • Yes, this is all so true and uncomfortably relatable! But im facing this demon head on now, i think ive swung back and forth, like many here, because we dont understand the science, but knowledge is power, thank you!

        • Hi @teazy Yes indeed, “knowledge is power!” If you’re going to slay this demon then it helps to understand it and how it fights, and that’s what my book “Alcoholism in a nutshell was written for. You can download the eBook for free from my blog, I think you might find it useful. https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/links/

    • Omg @teazy we are in the same place it sounds. I am 10 days AF. Congrats on feeling pretty good! I do too. I’ve been tired of hangovers for a long time now. Have been able to keep the drinks at a max of 2 for a while before Christmas off and on. Last Saturday I said “screw it! I’m getting wasted with ma bitches.” and boy did that hurt!! It lasted…[Read more]

      • thanks NoJudge, my new friends (we moved) are a big trigger cos ive always been their clown when we go out, my own stupid fault, now im not sure how to break it..anyway i think id rather be friendless than having to keep this up, sober is so much better for my family too, theyre the imortant ones afterall. sounds like your hubby is as clueless as…[Read more]

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Thanks Jacord, they are in for a shock. I must seem terribly self important, im sure half of them couldnt care less! its just my anxiety i guess

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Thank you so much xx

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Hope you stop drinking soon. when ive drunk ive always wanted to reach people socially, usually on facebook! bedore facebook (yes im that old) i used to phone nearly everyine i knew yikes…i think its because alcohol on our own is a lonely business, especially if you were previously a social drinker. i’m also early days again, but stick at it,…[Read more]

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Your post is so inspiring, some of your story reminds me of the teacher in ‘smashed’ you must watch it! good recovery movie

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Many thanks again for your wisdom, socially naieve, yep that’s definately me. Good to know you are still able to socialise and be fine. It will be an experiment for sure! thanks

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    keep going, day 3 will be better

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Did your friend respond well? its a skill im learning, usually im told im too outspoken or too passive, its hard to get it right isnt it..new job sounds good! living alone can be wonderful, i have many friends who swear by it now lol

    • She did! I was amazed. It is always worth a try. I think she was caught up in feeling responsible for the others and actually preferred to have a quieter more in depth evening with us.

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Thanks for the advice Dave, some good tips. Yes my anxiety is always through the roof at socials, and sadly mostly i fail and give in. But i have succeeded at a couple too so i know it can be done. I find myself wondering which came first, the chicken or the egg, was i always anxious b4 i started drinking, i think so, did i always hate large…[Read more]

    • There are very many of us that felt like this. Drinking let us fit in when we otherwise didn’t. I always drank at social events, and then i had to drink before them to get ready. It’s a relentless downward track, but when we step off it we discover we are as socially naive as we were when we started drinking to avoid the issue in the first place.…[Read more]

    • Many thanks again for your wisdom, socially naieve, yep that’s definately me. Good to know you are still able to socialise and be fine. It will be an experiment for sure! thanks

  • Teazy posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    Day 9, still trying to recover emotionally from last bender. Have dealt with everything except the social occasions, i start to think about what ill say to people, how ill feel, and it doesn’t feel good, not yet. I still feel a bit like bambi, i dont want to tell ppl ive quit, cos ive quit so many times and went back that they just roll their…[Read more]

    • Hi @Teazy We can’t avoid social occasions forever. We have to go and re-join the world at some point… and most of the people we meet drink (just not like us though!). The trick is not to rush into it until our recovery is robust enough to match the challenges that come with this. When we do step out into the world there are things we can do to…[Read more]

      • Thanks for the advice Dave, some good tips. Yes my anxiety is always through the roof at socials, and sadly mostly i fail and give in. But i have succeeded at a couple too so i know it can be done. I find myself wondering which came first, the chicken or the egg, was i always anxious b4 i started drinking, i think so, did i always hate large…[Read more]

        • There are very many of us that felt like this. Drinking let us fit in when we otherwise didn’t. I always drank at social events, and then i had to drink before them to get ready. It’s a relentless downward track, but when we step off it we discover we are as socially naive as we were when we started drinking to avoid the issue in the first place.…[Read more]

        • Many thanks again for your wisdom, socially naieve, yep that’s definately me. Good to know you are still able to socialise and be fine. It will be an experiment for sure! thanks

    • I was excited to go out socially to show others that I was NOT the drunk they thought I was. I had my “no thanks” all ready for when I was offered a drink. Show those hens you are not the hilarious drunk everyone raves about. You are graceful, sober, thoughtful, and have self respect!

      • Thanks Jacord, they are in for a shock. I must seem terribly self important, im sure half of them couldnt care less! its just my anxiety i guess

    • Well, @Teazy, it’s perfectly legitimate to say no, I’m not going, whether it’s late or early days in sobriety. If you just can’t bring yourself to say no in this situation, then you might try what I did the first time I was going to face a pretty big social challenge as a non-drinker: I role played with a friend. We imagined what it would be like,…[Read more]

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    30 days is amazing, i know what you mean about that feeling, for me it feels a bit like restlessness, boredom and fear all coming at the same time. I think everone has these feelings, its just we always numbed them before, thankfully for me i find switching off or distracting my brain works, at least for now, movies or books are great! recovery…[Read more]

    • Yay, 30 days!! I think you’re right, we all have those slightly restless, anxious, bored feelings, but yeh, we numbed them before. Doing stuff, reading stuff, and chocolate sound like pretty good coping strategies to me xx

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    thanks Jacord, i havent figured it all out yet and to be honest, i cant even go there yet, but i have nothing planned for a while so im hoping that by the time a social event comes i will have some clue!

  • Teazy posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    So sorry for your loss xx

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