• Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Welcome!

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    CONGRATS!!

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Welcome 🙂

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Day 12- well first three weeks last time I was sober was hard, my moods were all over the place. We are re-wiring our brains remember so be kind to yourself x

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Don’t beat yourself up, you went two whole months without a drink… that is amazing in itself. You can do this and you have us all on here for support. Today is a new day xx

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thanks @DaveH for checking in. Slept fantatic and woke up feeling clear and energetic. Day 2- taking it on with confidence and positivity 🙂

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Welcome X

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thankyou so much. This is such a positive site, what a wonderful way to support people. Your words are so kind, thanks again.

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thank you Anne- I appreciate your words and encouragement. Sorry for your relapse and the negativity afterwards. Sending you strength and a hug.

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    @Dave H thank you so much for the kindness and encouragement. I already feel very positive after spending some time on this sit/portal. I appreciate your words and will keep this up on my PC open all the time now I think. Have a great day and thanks again!

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Well done to you. I find peer presure really hard, but i think the more you do something the easier it gets. Being in a minority requires strength so feel proud of yourself.

  • Tatiana posted an update 4 months ago

    Hello everyone. Today is my Day 1. I am living in a foreign country with no family (other than my beautiful little 5 year old), my husband is away a lot for work. I have found myself having less and less booze free days. I have drank a bottle of wine every night this week and last night I opened a second and drank half of that… Today I feel guilty, tired, unhealthy, inadequate, angry, all negative feelings. I am ok when I have company but alone is when my demons seem to creep up on me. I have alcoholics on both sides of my family and I do think I have the disease. My willpower is terrible. I read the book Mrs D is going without and it motivated me to join a blog like this for support. I am not sure AA is for me. Ive also just downloaded This Naked Mind as I read it was life changing. Signing off with gratitude for this story sharing opportunity x

    • You are very brave @tatiana. I can see how the alure and the numbness of alcohol would be attractive when you are lonely and bored. It’s a sneaky downward slide- and you have identified it inspite of its camouflage as a friend. Mrs d’s books helped me heaps. This site has helped me heaps. Congrats on day one, and a huge welcome!!!

      • Thankyou so much. This is such a positive site, what a wonderful way to support people. Your words are so kind, thanks again.

    • Hi @Titiana. You are not alone in this struggle as long as you stay connected here. We can’t do it for you, but we can walk with you.

      I had for so long misunderstood the effect alcohol had on me. I thought I drank because drinking relieved me of the discomfort of my life; the fear, frustration, confusion, hopelessness and desperate apart-ness. What I didn’t realise was that these feelings were directly caused by my drinking. I thought it was just my lot in life to feel like this, but I had it back to front… it was the drink that caused it. I thought that drinking was the solution to my emotional distress, but it was actually the cause of them. The trap we find ourselves in is that alcohol becomes the medicine that briefly relieves us of the very symptoms that it creates… but drinking more puts us deeper in the hole. We end up drinking to relieve the distress caused by drinking, and this locks us in a downward spiral into despair.

      The really odd thing about all of this is that I found was that alcohol wasn’t actually the problem… I was. If you sit me down with a glass of wine directly in front of me then I will feel the urge to drink it. A glass of water doesn’t do the same at all! But alcohol isn’t doing this. Alcohol doesn’t have some sort of mystical properties that trap me spellbound, it is just a simple chemical: C2H6O. It is not a magic potion. The wanting to drink it comes from within my own mind. My fight isn’t with the bottle, but with myself.

      Time alone is when my mind is at its most destructive. That is when the parts of my brain that still want me to drink start to dominate, and the sabotaging thoughts come piling in. But they are false. They seem real, and they feel convincing, but they are false. They aren’t true at all, they are excuses and justifications, and they are lies.
      It isn’t that we have terrible willpower; it is more that we are challenged by instinctive forces in our minds that are enormously compelling.

      You are not weak,…[Read more]

      • @Dave H thank you so much for the kindness and encouragement. I already feel very positive after spending some time on this sit/portal. I appreciate your words and will keep this up on my PC open all the time now I think. Have a great day and thanks again!

    • Hi there @tatiana. Im at my worst when lonely–which is almost all the time as I live on my own so I totally understand what youre saying. Mrs Ds books are fantastic. im quiting AA as from today. I relasped and got totally berrated for it from my sponser.. Stay with this site. Everyone is so helpful.

      • Thank you Anne- I appreciate your words and encouragement. Sorry for your relapse and the negativity afterwards. Sending you strength and a hug.

    • JM replied 4 months ago

      Hi @Tatiana! I found the best thing in early sobriety was to read sober blogs – both as a distraction and a way to rewire your brain. And honestly – never would’ve thought it – sobriety is so interesting. Here are some good sites: hip sobriety.com, thesoberschool.com, lauramckowen.com, unpickledblog.com. And for accountability, this site helped me a lot, you can sign up to be her penpal after a waiting period: tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com. You can do this, gets easier and so much better. : )

    • My wine drinking was just what you describe, creeping up during times of stress until at last it was a daily habit I couldn’t stop. LS has helped me be free of that habit for almost 2 years. The freedom from guilt and shame is wonderful. Stick with it!

  • Tatiana posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Well done to you.

  • Tatiana became a registered member 4 months ago

    • Hi @beccajane. Good for you! I’m amazed more people aren’t on the no drinking wagon because I only joined this site last night and since then it’s been a constant stream. I’d love to know how many ‘problem on the fence’ drinkers there are in my suburb even because I feel like it’s trending, at least in the online world. Or maybe it’s like pink elephants? Try not to think about them and that’s all you think about? In any case I am glad to find so many like minded people on this site x

      • It is far more common that we expect. About 1 in 10 people are adversely affected by alcohol (in countries where drinking is commonplace). It’s just not spoken about very freely because it’s such a “shameful” condition. But shame only exists with the consent of the shamed.

    • Tatiana, I am also living abroad with my husband. You have my compassion for the loneliness feeling. Give yourself credit for wanting to stop abusing alcohol and walking a saver and more self-caring path. It’s not too late to change ways. I thought I could NEVER live without my evening red wine…in the end I could easily polish off one bottle and then often half of the next one, with both gone eventually. I am so glad you found us! oxxoxoxo