• SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    @soberlynn so sorry for my late late reply!! 10 months!! what!! but I really appreciate your reply to me. I do have moments of peace and freedom and alos proudness in my strengths that I have made it so far at 451 days… but also , in truth, still missing the numbing effects and having a hard time at the moment convincing myslef that I dont need some numbing and softening of hard edges… Hope you doing ok too and much thanks to you for your reply xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Thanks @jm for your reply and sorry its taken 10 months!!! for me to reply!!! what??!! Just read Mrs D’s latest blog about soberversaries and the thoughts about longtimers taking aobut 2-3 years for things to settle…. mmmm… I am 451 days today, 1 year 3 months nearly… so a little way to to go yet… I am still missing it… the numbing effects of it…. hope that goes away soon… hope you doing good and thanks again for your reply. xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    gosh thanks for this reply @jo14 and am sorry its taken 10 months to reply!! Yes! at 451 days today I too still miss the numbing out… and too sometimes feel that i deserve to blot out the hard edges of living life completely in the raw… clear heads and no hangovers are so good but in truth I have started thinking about drinking again…. Hope you good and thanks again for your reply. xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Thanks for the reply @frog sorry its taken nearly 10 months to find it and reply!!! But best late than never eh!!?? How you doing now? Good I hope?? I also would love to let loose and havent really been out sociallising yet even at day 451…. mmmm, probably should get on with that, missing the numbing out from all the living in the raw with the hard edges… haven’t tried the knmbucha yet… maybe i should… Xx much loves and thanks again frog x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Thanks @ben appreciated this reply, even though I only answering now. Day 451 and having some hard days but hanging in here still.. hope you ok too xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    @freyfreya Thanks for this, sorry I not acknowledge till now, all these months (nearly 10!) later….!! Hope you getting on ok and you are so right, we are not alone…. Thank you xx Hard days at the moment… x even at day 451 for me… xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    @janb Thank you for your reply all these months ago, it is only now I dip back in here and find these replies… And, I am still missing my numbing out times… living in the raw with all the hard edges can take its toll… I do know what you mean about not missing hangovers, and being stupid though!!! The stupid! Oh my!!….. much loves and hope you getting on ok xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    @jr thanks for you wonderful reply all these months ago… having a tricky time atm and came back here to find all these replies I dont think I knew were here before… what a treat! At day 451 today, I am still missing the numbing out of the wine… and indeed even questioning why I carry on some days… How are you getting on? xx

    • @swooshgirl – and what a treat for me to see what I posted when I was Day 26….I am 320 now (although I did have a week in Mexico for was very tame….my drinking issue was more daily by myself at the end of the work day. Life is peaceful and so happy to see how you are so far along now at 451…..just awesome!!!!!

  • SwooshGirl posted an update 2 years ago

    I am wondering, at 156 days … not having pink clouds, and tough at times, still going STRONG… I am wondering… as I KNOW we are all different, when MY realisation of FREEDOM will actually hit me in a ‘I don’t miss the wine,’ kind of way…. because, my truth right now is that I do, (not all the time) at times miss it… or at least I think I do…. Anyway, just sharing thoughts… because HERE is the place for thoughts like this!! Xxx

    • JR replied 2 years ago

      @swooshgirl – do you miss the wine or the moments you had with wine? i.e….sitting and relaxing with a glass of wine or out with a friend over a glass of wine? etc. Curious. At Day 26, I am finding I am not craving it as much, but do crave those moments. I used to start to have a glass of wine while I caught on personal email or believe it or not, when doing banking reconcillation in the evenings. When I sit and do those things now, it triggers that “craving”. Curious about your experience being so far forward ahead of days.

      • @jr thanks for you wonderful reply all these months ago… having a tricky time atm and came back here to find all these replies I dont think I knew were here before… what a treat! At day 451 today, I am still missing the numbing out of the wine… and indeed even questioning why I carry on some days… How are you getting on? xx

        • @swooshgirl – and what a treat for me to see what I posted when I was Day 26….I am 320 now (although I did have a week in Mexico for was very tame….my drinking issue was more daily by myself at the end of the work day. Life is peaceful and so happy to see how you are so far along now at 451…..just awesome!!!!!

    • JanB replied 2 years ago

      hey @swooshgirl, I don’t miss the wine itself. I missed going through the motions. I missed the nice wine glass in my hand, the toast, etc. So I drink my AF drinks in my wine glass and realize what I drink now tastes waaaay better than any alcohol laced products and I skip the headaches, hangovers, and being stupid. WinWin , xxx

      • Yip you said it in big clear @swooshgirl. It’s a very strange thing being AF and how do we cope with all the external pressures. I’m not counting my days cause I’m scare I will implode but there is nothing easy about it. You’re not alone xxx

        • @freyfreya Thanks for this, sorry I not acknowledge till now, all these months (nearly 10!) later….!! Hope you getting on ok and you are so right, we are not alone…. Thank you xx Hard days at the moment… x even at day 451 for me… xx

      • @janb Thank you for your reply all these months ago, it is only now I dip back in here and find these replies… And, I am still missing my numbing out times… living in the raw with all the hard edges can take its toll… I do know what you mean about not missing hangovers, and being stupid though!!! The stupid! Oh my!!….. much loves and hope you getting on ok xx

    • Ben replied 2 years ago

      I found six months to a year to be the hardest part of my sober journey. Just hang in there it will get better.

      • Thanks @ben appreciated this reply, even though I only answering now. Day 451 and having some hard days but hanging in here still.. hope you ok too xx

    • JM replied 2 years ago

      Hi @Swooshgirl! I felt very flat during those days. I felt like I had entered a desert and was trudging through from about day 150 – 200. What’s the point, I would think. And I trusted sober bloggers who said that it got better. I don’t miss wine anymore at all. The sight of it makes me a bit ill, I just remember the bad times, that was my experience yesterday. Hang in there!! Congrats on 156!! : )

      • Thanks @jm for your reply and sorry its taken 10 months!!! for me to reply!!! what??!! Just read Mrs D’s latest blog about soberversaries and the thoughts about longtimers taking aobut 2-3 years for things to settle…. mmmm… I am 451 days today, 1 year 3 months nearly… so a little way to to go yet… I am still missing it… the numbing effects of it…. hope that goes away soon… hope you doing good and thanks again for your reply. xx

    • @Swooshgirl – you’re so right. Everyone is different and each of us experiences sobriety in our own lives in our own way. If I told you everything would change for you at 6 months, nine months, or a year I would be giving you false hope. I can only tell you what I felt on my journey. There is one thing for sure: It Will Happen. Meditation and mindfulness will help you accept and embrace each day and whatever it holds for you. You’ll know that wherever you are on your journey and whatever you’re feeling are right where you’re supposed to be and feel. You can find peace and calm and in turn that peace and calm will come your freedom. Go well. xxx

      • @soberlynn so sorry for my late late reply!! 10 months!! what!! but I really appreciate your reply to me. I do have moments of peace and freedom and alos proudness in my strengths that I have made it so far at 451 days… but also , in truth, still missing the numbing effects and having a hard time at the moment convincing myslef that I dont need some numbing and softening of hard edges… Hope you doing ok too and much thanks to you for your reply xxx

    • Thanks for the reply @frog sorry its taken nearly 10 months to find it and reply!!! But best late than never eh!!?? How you doing now? Good I hope?? I also would love to let loose and havent really been out sociallising yet even at day 451…. mmmm, probably should get on with that, missing the numbing out from all the living in the raw with the hard edges… haven’t tried the knmbucha yet… maybe i should… Xx much loves and thanks again frog x

    • gosh thanks for this reply @jo14 and am sorry its taken 10 months to reply!! Yes! at 451 days today I too still miss the numbing out… and too sometimes feel that i deserve to blot out the hard edges of living life completely in the raw… clear heads and no hangovers are so good but in truth I have started thinking about drinking again…. Hope you good and thanks again for your reply. xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    well done! keep kicking its arse!!! xxxxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    woow!! i completely agree with you! well done for binning and ripping it up!! xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    bigs hugs and happy birthday, yes, be good to yourself today, no beating self up… and just do your best xxx big loves xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    rooting for you and sending you good vibrations. we dont want to be like that anymore… its a choice, in that moment isnt it… sounds so simple, just not always easy… x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Go @Caligirl best of the best, I am 131 today!! and had ups and downs but still going. You can push through and lots of ideas for your support toolbox on here, not least are the amazing people on here. I am cheering for you!!! xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    big hug to you treehugger xx i am with you, I still feel strange too, at day 118 today…. but, still going xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    ooh well done, staying sure and strong even amidst a lot of change and uncertainties… Well done, big hug and keep going Xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    @clear yes! I hear you loud and clear!!!! ‘maelstrom of emotions…. yes! I am exhausted too!!! You are definitely not alone struggling. x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    woohoo! I havent heard of her actually but maybe need to check her out!

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    wooohoo! well done, make sure to keep celebrating… x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    mmm lovely to read, xx your home sounds just wonderful xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks for this Liberty, it’s really helpful to hear your experience…. and the fact I am not alone… xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    OOOh lucky you!! now got pink cloud envy!!!! hahhaha lols… I hope mine come too… i will say a little prayer tongiht… xx thanks for replying x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks for your reply x I do yoga yes and it is wonderful help. I am using all my tools simultaneously atm!!! My emergency is legs up the wall pose with lavendar!!!

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks so much, I hope your pink clouds come….. yes, I think you are right, with patience they will xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks for this, me too…. xxxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    tea here too… big hug xxx and well done for pushing through… xxx have you tried homeopathic remedy ignatia? It works very well for me…. just a suggestion xx

  • Hi everyone, just needing a check in… Day 108, feeling lots of lows for weeks now… lots of changes in home scenarios, but house-sitting now for 3 months so stability and familiarity is going to be good. And I know we are all different but no pink clouds for me (yet…) So my truth is that I am low, tearful, flat, fed up wishing for some let up BUT still going!!! Thanks for listening and wishing you all a great and AF day. xx

    • Wow! Good for you on hanging tough. Hope your mood lifts soon.

    • Happy day 108!!! Awesome sober job! I’m waiting for my pink clouds too. They will come with patience I’m hoping

    • I am around 108 days also. I was just thinking I have brain fog today. Have you tried yoga? It helps me. Also, getting together with someone for lunch or dinner?

      • Thanks for your reply x I do yoga yes and it is wonderful help. I am using all my tools simultaneously atm!!! My emergency is legs up the wall pose with lavendar!!!

    • Darn it @Swooshgirl – my pink clouds started early just by realizing how good it felt to wake up hangover free and how good it felt to snuggle into bed at night – saying prayers early and often for these snuggling little rewards and seeing how vibrant colors become when taking a run outside. I hope you start feeling them soon 🙂

      • OOOh lucky you!! now got pink cloud envy!!!! hahhaha lols… I hope mine come too… i will say a little prayer tongiht… xx thanks for replying x

    • I felt exhausted and kind of flat for about 5 months I think @swooshgirl. Not that you necessarily will – as you say there’s a range of experience. Maybe I might have felt better if I’d had more vitamins, or maybe not. I did have a brief stretch of euphoria but after that I wouldn’t have said pink clouds. More like quiet satisfaction that amongst everything else, I was still AF. I hope the housesitting takes a bit of pressure off you. xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    … I hear you loud and clear… all so much to deal with, I am with you also waiting for the ‘low to pass’ and I love your phrase ‘the sun to shine again’ in your heart… ME TOO! Bring it on!! I dont think I have had my ‘pink clouds’ yet…. day 108, lots of changes but still going…. ! You are not alone… by any means. xxx

    • @swooshgirl thank you for your comment about the pink clouds etc, I am in a maelstrom of emotions really I don’t know whether i’m up or down or inside out it’s really really hard. Most days i feel like this and it is exhausting, I am at d114 and it’s so good to know i’m not alone in struggling. I feel really strong about being AF but i start to feel a bit anxious after I’ve been away from this community for a few days and feel so much better once I’ve checked in. The support on here makes a huge difference to my wellbeing.. Like @fike60 I am so grateful for all of you xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    @freyfreya Thanks so much xxx dont think I have ever been called a herione before…. but you know what? I flipping feel like one!!!! We ALL are!!! So thanks for bringing this to my attention!! xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    aww, thanks gypsyrose xxx it certainly has been hard….. xx

    • Giant congrats @swishgirl. You’re nearly at Day 100. What an amazing achievement . And to push thru all the yuk stuff as well. Heroine xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks enzedgirl xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    yes! i am!!! thanks IslandOne xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    thanks Liberty xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    xx thanks hummingbird

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks Lizzy xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    well done! awesome xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    ooh well done, keep going and keep feeling good xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    I am looking forward to that stage too….. xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    aww, enjoyed reading your little update…. lol re naked little boy…. awww x

    • Jesse mulligan is a good interviewer. I will be tuned to hear that. What a strong powerful message you have to share. It’s time to shine xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    You too xxxx Thanks!

  • A quickie check in from me! We live in our motorhome and have been travelling and after a 3 month period of being in one place (house-sitting) where I had a lovely dog and big house and started my alcohol free journey…. the past month has been very (GRRRRR!!!) challenging… to say the least… and I hadn’t read Mrs D’s book and didn’t know about the ‘not changing big stuff for the first year” thing…. But even through a lot of pushing, crying and difficulty… I have made it to day 93!! Not only that but I have kept to a nutritional plan too and lost 30 pounds!!! Such an incentive to keep going for sure. Wine has a lot of calories as well as all the other poison properties of course. Thanks for keeping me going Living Sober Community… I definitely couldn’t have done this part without you guys! Wishing a happy sober day to you ALL. Xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    @treehugger so so glad to hear you have a little respite, and breathe!!! Me too today! Finally not feeling quite so ‘grrrrrr!’ as I have for 3 weeks… My other half is glad too!!!! haahhahha! I know what you mean about talking it out and breaking things down… Bite size chunks is plenty to deal with!! And dont forget that by posting your deep truth it makes me (and others?) not feel so alone…. big hug! x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    holding hands on your day 5… you can do it… you have all the insights you need, loved reading your post – wise words indeed…. x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    loved reading this, thanks…. I am sort of there and sort of still in the missing it phase….. day 81… push push push…. Happy Saturday to you too xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    well done on day 16! Be it ice cream or not!!! Well done!! xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    hold onto your happiness re your sobriety… and hold on in there…… I have to tell you though… I have made big changes and only 81 days in…. not the best idea… but I have!!! You will know what to do and you will know when the time is right….. and you always have us and this whole community… someone said to me in here that we all hold hands… and I feel that so I am here offering to hold yours… big hugs xxx (nearly wrote bug hugs there!!! ) xx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Well I will! You are so right about the need to hold hands… and to hear you say too about the wine…. never know do we when she’s going to call us…. our beloved aneasthetic turned bad……….. 995 days!!! Glad adn grateful for this community… Big thanks x

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Big love back to you andd thanks for your reply! It does mean so much to connect here…. we can do it!! alcohol, food whatever!!! And I am always here to talk to should you feel like it… 24 pounds down so far and still going strong!!!

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Fricking AWESOME!!!!!!!!! xxx

  • SwooshGirl posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Yes!! I relate!!! I am day 81 and often feeling tense, irritated, anxiety, panics…. grrrrr!!! emotional overload!!! arrgghhhh!! I throw everything at mine when it gets intense… so intense sometimes I think I cant bear it… but i do and it passes… homeopathic rememdy ignatia I find is my life saver, with lavender oi mmm sniff sniff!! and legs up the wall pose for yoga… have you tried any of these? Also I have not heard of PAWS so what is this please…. bests of the bests for your day…. smiley or grrrrrrr! we got this!!!! xxx

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