• SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Sending positive thoughts and hugs as you navigate the biopsy, friend!!! You have your mind in the right place. Thanks for sharing your wise words. xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    You’re doing fantastic!! Just look forward, not back. All of the days you have spent sober mean something, even if they are not consecutive. You know the path to be on, and its easier to find your way because you have experience and wisdom. Good luck with the kiddos!! I about killed mine over the long weekend! =) xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hello there! Glad you are here with us. =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    I practice Radical Acceptance at least once a day, and it saves me so much anxiety and brings such peace!! Great link!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi RachelK!! Welcome to this community. =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi there!! We are glad you joined us!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Sounds like a lovely, peaceful time. Enjoy the tea and check in often if it gets too quiet!!!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    “Another gift of sobriety is discovering the magic of having an open heart”… I love that!! What a gift you are giving to yourself and those around you by showing up in your honest and authentic self, Miss Freedom. xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Well done Apple!! That’s outstanding work!! And great job getting in-person support to. xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi there @aimless! You are in good company. Many of us here are function at high levels and have learned how to hide the alcohol abuse from everyone around us. That’s why we can’t go off of our friends/family who say – you’re fine! They don’t live in our heads or understand how much we think about drinking and planning when we will drink next, and managing it so we don’t seem like a “lush”. Its exhausting, isn’t it?! So much better putting it down and being honest with ourselves. Check in here often for support, and also check out the “sober toolbox” on this blog – full of great ideas. Good luck!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Good work planning ahead!! Deep breaths, you got this!

    • I’m a little anxious because theres a lot of work to do for ID and drinking was a reward for me in the past and it gave a false illusion of belonging. I’m having some big feelings and performance anxiety at present so need to keep planning my safe exits.

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Great sober treat!! Have a wonderful day Kerryjean!!

  • Morning friends!! Last night I had a horrific dream that I got black-out drunk at a wedding, and my husband was furious with me. I felt so ashamed and miserable and just kept apologizing. My feelings and remorse was so vivid that I woke up thinking “did I drink last night?”.. thank God I didn’t. 10 day away from triple digits and this was a great reminder to stay sober!!! Big hugs to you all. Let’s crush it today. xox

    • I’ve had those dreams a couple of times during my 100+ AF days. I guess it’s our hearts’ way of jogging our brains out of complacency. A real gratitude jolt for me!

    • I just had one of those dreams this week. I think because I was considering trying to moderate again! I used that as a wake up call! What a relief for both of us that it was all a dream!

      • Hey, Hammer123, day 301? Congratulations! I also had one a couple of nights ago and it played out the wreckage of the next day. Shudder…

    • Yup I’ve been having those dreams too. Usually in my dormant periods I don’t think about alcohol so much, but now that I’m doing the work it’s invading all my thoughts.

    • Those dreams are awful. I had one a few days ago too and woke up in a panic.

    • Yep yay! ❤️❤️

    • Triple digits coming up, yeah!! oxoxxo Sorry about that drinking dream…had those….they can feel rather disturbing. Extra gentleness with yourself today…..and may the memory of this dream fade asap. oxoxoxox

    • How are you @sunshinestace? This is Amy with a new name, just thinking of you and hoping you are doing well xo

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    It IS a great day to be sober!! Have a wonderful day!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi Mary! Great job on starting with a more manageable goal (like Dry January) and building from there. My original goal was 100 days sober (inspired by the amazing Belle, and her blog tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com , check that out for inspiration and she even offers to be your personal sober pen pal!!). After finishing that I got a little wobbly myself. Now I personally find it helpful to stick to small goals, whether it’s no drinking this day, this week, or this month. When I look at the whole future being wine-free I get overwhelmed. Hopefully that will change on day, but for now.. small manageable goals. Great work on 51 days!! You are rocking it!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thanks for the shout, Loop!! Great to hear things are good and I’m so happy and proud of you for plugging in with in-person support so you can enjoy sober fun in your community!! How is your son doing? Doing any yoga at all? I just signed up for a new studio but have only gone once. I have been seriously thinking about popping into a few AA meetings to try to find that same thing that you described in your other post.. people who’s goal is not to go out and get drunk, lol. =) Anyway, big hugs from across the Pond!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    What a wonderful evening!! Glad you enjoyed the time with friends and also are feeling so content and plugged in right now. Enjoy and soak that all in. =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Such a wonderful way of explaining that, @daveh!! I’m saving this for future reference. =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    I think you will find everyone here is really quite friendly and supportive. We all have this alcohol- thing in common that brings us together and its nice to have a place to be open and honest about our struggles, and to learn from each other. Keep posting and you will see what I mean!! =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Well my son says I’m a “Newb” which is short for newbie and I kept getting killed, but I enjoyed the time with him anyway. =) I wish we could load pics on this site to share because I would love to see your painting project when its finished!! Have a super day Robyn!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    It sure was!! Hope all is well @agirl! Sending hugs!!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Now that’s a trigger that I’m happy to hear about!!! Hope you enjoy a nice bowl of ice cream this weekend Truth!! =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    =) Except for the part where I stink at working the controller and keep getting killed and can’t stop laughing and my son gets all exasperated… “Mom!!! You’re not even trying!” lol The sad thing is that WAS me trying!!! Video gaming is hard! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thank you Steve, good to hear from you and I appreciate the encouragement. =) It was a good night and waking up sober with my coffee never ever gets old. Hope you have a great weekend!!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thanks!!! =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Oh my goodness.. its so much harder than it looks!!! He was trying to get me to build and run and jump at the same time, to keep from getting eliminated by other players. I just wanted to try out all the dances the characters can do. I had a good belly laugh when other players would come over an start dancing. And then I would get shot!! There’s a message there, but I don’t know what it is yet. lol Your son must be a serious gamer, Sober4Rreal… 3 xboxes!! He must be quite good. Ask him to show you some of the dances from Fortnight and you will see why its so funny. =) Have a great day!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    @truthangeel what a perfect afternoon you’ve had!! I love your awareness about how one drink always led to more, which ultimately led to feeling yucky and disappointed the next day. It always ends up that way, doesn’t it?! We know how the story ends, so we don’t need to go there. =) I appreciate your thoughts about being an introvert and not an extrovert.. I was reading your words thinking me too to everything… need space to regroup and feel drained when I have to be around the small-minded gossip and chatter. I have a joke that cell phones aren’t for calling – just texting in an emergency. =) Thinking that without booze I’m maybe an extrovert too. lol

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thanks @timidwarrior @thork @sober4real, I appreciate the comments. Such a help to have the support here. Now off to get my Fortnight lesson now! lol

    • @sunshinestace tell me how it goes! hahaha!

      • Oh my goodness.. its so much harder than it looks!!! He was trying to get me to build and run and jump at the same time, to keep from getting eliminated by other players. I just wanted to try out all the dances the characters can do. I had a good belly laugh when other players would come over an start dancing. And then I would get shot!! There’s a message there, but I don’t know what it is yet. lol Your son must be a serious gamer, Sober4Rreal… 3 xboxes!! He must be quite good. Ask him to show you some of the dances from Fortnight and you will see why its so funny. =) Have a great day!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Wonderful words of wisdom for all of us, about how to manage a craving.. thanks!! And great job flexing the sober muscles!! I’ve become a bit of a puzzle junkie since getting sober, too! How funny. I never could do one when I was drunk (or hungover). Another reward of being alcohol-free.. being able to fit hundreds of small pieces together and enjoy doing it! lol

    • @sunshine I hear you on the puzzles. It’s like a form of meditation. I think adult coloring books, or even kids coloring books for that matter, would have a similar effect.

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    So happy to hear about your move home!! Midwest is best! ; ) The road trip with your daughter sounds like a great adventure, too. Maybe call local moving companies and ask them to give you a quote for the items?

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Great observation @jenb!! I also notice flavors a lot more now that I’m not dulling my senses with bottles of wine. =) Your Indian dinner sounds fantastic! Now I’m craving tikka masala and naan bread. =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hello! This is a great place to land. Glad you are here!! =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Thank you for the very honest post. We have all been there, and can relate to it. I’m cheering for you to come to the end of the experiment and record your observations, and keep them close for future reference.

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Brrr.. sounds like a great day to drink some yummy warm chai! What cool idea to paint your garage! Sounds like a fun project that you will enjoy looking at every time you see it. =) Have a great weekend!

    • You too lovely lady! I will be curious to hear how the fortnight lesson goes, haha.

      • Well my son says I’m a “Newb” which is short for newbie and I kept getting killed, but I enjoyed the time with him anyway. =) I wish we could load pics on this site to share because I would love to see your painting project when its finished!! Have a super day Robyn!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted an update 4 months ago

    Evening Friends!!! I’m usually a morning poster/reader, so its kind of fun coming on a different time of day to see what everyone is up to, and who is here. =) Just wanted to check in sober. I had a ridiculous thought that a glass of wine would go well with the tomato mozzarella flatbread I made for dinner tonight. My husband received a bunch of bottles of wine as gifts today and was unloading them on the counter… maybe that’s what triggered the thought?! Anyway. No wine for me!!! I drove my daughter to a sleepover, listened to a sober podcast on the way home, checking in here for accountability, then I am going to let my 11 year old son teach me to play Fortnight (a video game all the kids are crazy about), then I’m planning on treating myself to chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream and a movie, then bed. Hope you all are well and enjoying a good night, free from the poison!! xox

    • Good stuff 👌 Sounds like you have a great evening planned!

    • Sounds like a perfect evening. And your reward will come in the morning when you wake up all clear headed and proud of yourself. AF = Its a beautiful thing!

    • @sunshinestace let me know how it goes with fortnite….my son is a major gamer (he’s older now though- I’ve bought him 3 Xboxes!) anyway, looking forward to hearing about it. Sounds like a wonderful evening and yes, I’m sure your thought about wine was triggered.

    • Thanks @timidwarrior @thork @sober4real, I appreciate the comments. Such a help to have the support here. Now off to get my Fortnight lesson now! lol

      • @sunshinestace tell me how it goes! hahaha!

        • Oh my goodness.. its so much harder than it looks!!! He was trying to get me to build and run and jump at the same time, to keep from getting eliminated by other players. I just wanted to try out all the dances the characters can do. I had a good belly laugh when other players would come over an start dancing. And then I would get shot!! There’s a message there, but I don’t know what it is yet. lol Your son must be a serious gamer, Sober4Rreal… 3 xboxes!! He must be quite good. Ask him to show you some of the dances from Fortnight and you will see why its so funny. =) Have a great day!! xox

    • You have a great night as well.

    • I always enjoy your posts @sunshinestace. Good on you for letting that trigger go by. That chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream sounds so much better. Have a great night enjoying your kids.

      • Thank you Steve, good to hear from you and I appreciate the encouragement. =) It was a good night and waking up sober with my coffee never ever gets old. Hope you have a great weekend!!

    • Super mum in action! Xxxx

      • =) Except for the part where I stink at working the controller and keep getting killed and can’t stop laughing and my son gets all exasperated… “Mom!!! You’re not even trying!” lol The sad thing is that WAS me trying!!! Video gaming is hard! xox

    • Now I’ve been triggered to go out and buy some ice cream LOL. Your evening plans sound much better than drinking. Have fun and sleep well.

      • Now that’s a trigger that I’m happy to hear about!!! Hope you enjoy a nice bowl of ice cream this weekend Truth!! =)

    • What a delicious day you have had!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Congrats on 11 months @missfreedom, that is so fantastic!! Great job putting it out there that the thought has been there. Now you can up your sober supports. You got this!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Yes to all of them!! Love this list.

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Such a great post – I love how you are realistic in playing it forward, Frog!! Really helpful to remind ourselves that one is never, ever enough. Hope you enjoy the tea and sober sleep!! xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Welcome!! Glad you joined the community @bergstan. =)

    • Thank you! I really appreciate the warm welcome 🙂 that’s so nice of you.

      • I think you will find everyone here is really quite friendly and supportive. We all have this alcohol- thing in common that brings us together and its nice to have a place to be open and honest about our struggles, and to learn from each other. Keep posting and you will see what I mean!! =)

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Beautiful – thanks for sharing. Hope you keep feeling better. xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hooray for 5 days!! Great planning ahead!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Loved your advice and explanation of schemas and how they affect our thoughts, Frog! Either you are in the business of therapy or you have a damn good therapist. =) To put in my 2 cents @tim, I also like to think of them as “the stories we well ourselves”. For example, what are the stories I tell myself about why I’m never supposed to feel angry? (Good girls don’t get angry, no one likes you when you are angry, kept to yourself because nothing changes). Where does this story come from? (society, and my family when I was growing up). And then what is a new story I can tell myself when I catch those old thoughts occurring? (Ah, here it is again. I’m feeling angry, but I’m stuffing it down because I was not “allowed” to have that feeling in the past. Its okay to be angry and its good to express it so that the people around me have the opportunity to make changes). Same concept, said just a little differently.

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Stacking up the days!! Hooray! Your plans for the weekend sound perfect!!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    What a victory, Frog!!! So much awareness and good choices you made yesterday! Love that you choose ‘shooshi’ making and a movie over that bitter cocktail Hard Slip. Xoxo

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Glad you are checking in!! All the health stuff can be overwhelming – sending hugs your way as you navigate though it all. 💗 Smart to see a counselor for support as you deal with this all, and stay AF!! Hope you can go easy today – rest up and be good to yourself.

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Wonderful progress – congrats on 266 days of freedom!! Ana so great to hear that alcohol has less real estate in the brain if we keep with this. 😊 Enjoy your clean craft room -‘sounds like a great reward for being sober. Xox

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Lovely post!! Sending good vibes back to you! 💗

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    So interesting when we pick up on the energy around us. I like how you stayed in your own lane didn’t let it pull you in, and be an excuse to drink. Well done!! Happy sober Sunday!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Been there, friend. 💗 Look how you came right back here… That’s the way. Be kind to yourself. Onward and upward!!

  • SunshineStace posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    The no filtered frankness… you either love it or hate it!! 😝 What a gift you are giving your stepdaughter by being honest and talking to her about your sobriety. 💗

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