• SueK posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @AprilsFool, if you go to Youtube and search Sue Kerr yoga you will find a few free classes taught by moi. You can use them as many times as you like.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thank you for calling me @Brummiebird, it’s been ages since I’ve been here. For no particular reason I drift in and drift out. I’m still sober, coming up for my seven year anniversary in October. Why am I still doing this? Because there was once a time that I used to wake up in the morning full of hate and loathing — for myself. That thought is so so so sad to me, that I treated myself so badly for so long, to the point that I lost sight of my true self. Now, sober, I wake up every morning and feel glad — glad to be awake, glad to be me, glad to have a day ahead that can be full of things I chose for my own well-being. Glad that no matter what happens, I will choose to stay clear-headed and keep on looking out for myself. This might read as being very self-centered, but I’m absolutely no use to anyone else if I’m not taking care of myself. Staying sober is my number one self-care strategy!!! Lots of love to you. XXX

  • SueK posted an update 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey sober warriors and soon-to-be-sobers, just checked my stats and I’ve been booze free for 2314 days, and saved $38,015 in the process. WOW. Looking back, this past 6-and-a-bit years has been really intense and I’ve faced up to a lot of stuff about my past and my childhood and my fears and humanness… it’s all coming at us all the time, but without the booze numbing, we’ve got to handle that shit. It’s so bloody brave of us all to live like this. So please pat yourself on the back today and give yourself some good treats. And look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Because you’re amazing. I wish I could smile at you all, but the mirror will have to do!! XXX

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    I think one of the best things about being sober is that you can start to feel and listen to your heart again. For me it went very dark and silent while I can constantly numbing. But not any more. Inspiring post, thanks.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hope you all have an amazing get together.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Can you imagine getting all that done if you were drinking? Nope, I didn’t think so! Have a great day, and don’t forget to breathe and have a nice sit down every now and then!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    That sounds exactly like my old story. Good to be aware of it and to write it out loud… those are all pieces of the puzzle. Now lean in to your support. Cheering you along. You SO CAN do this.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    @kerryjean47 , I know how disappointing it is when you reach a really important and significant milestone like that and you don’t get the encouragement you want from your spouse. It really hurts. One of my milestones was really similar. I mentioned to my spouse that I was feeling really good about not touching any booze for whatever many days it was (I really can’t remember now), and he lifted up his glass of wine and said “Cheers”. It totally blew me away. He’s not a mean person at all, and I was completely shocked. As per usual then, I just dropped the subject and felt like shit. But I also realised that day the huge importance of my sober tribe, the people who do get it and can encourage and support me the way they need. I vowed that day I would only reach for support where I could be guaranteed to get it — like here at Living Sober. Our spouses can’t be everything to us, (even though it would be nice if they made the effort, eh?), and one way we can really seriously look after ourselves is to get the support we need where it is genuine and willing and flowing freely. Many of our spouses just don’t/can’t/won’t get it, and that’s OK. We have our own resources to take care of this part ourselves with our sober tribe. XXX

    • Thank you @ Suek and all of you.
      I awoke this morning and read these posts. I felt supported and understood.
      You all are very right and very wise.
      I can’t make husband get it, but I get it and you guys get it.
      That is going to be good enough for me:)

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    @cog2019 I think it can happen to any fermented product that is unpasturised and left long enough. To put it in perspective, alcohol forms in very ripe fruit — it’s a natural process. But you don’t want to be drinking what you think is an alcohol free drink, when in fact there is a chance it does have an alcohol content. I guess you just need to be aware and then use your senses (and sense).

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    I’m from Invercargill!!! You’re right, not a great cultural scene, but you can’t beat a drive out to Oreti Beach! Hope you have a lovely visit with your sister.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    xxx

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    @sober4real — I know, that was the first thing that crossed my mind when I recognised the “symptoms”… am I going to like this? Fortunately I Did Not. I am very grateful.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Well done! Authentic is far superior to pretty!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Welcome. You’re in good company here. Hope you find the help and support you need.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Peace to you too @Sober4real. And congratulations on 120 days. Really sorry you’re feeling emotional and uncomfortable — it can be horrible and sometimes wouldn’t it be nice if life gave us a proper break from having to take responsibility for our shit… Thinking of you and wishing you a quick resolution for whatever is ailing you. You are brave and amazing.

    • @suek thanks dearie….I really appreciate you so much. I don’t feel amazing because I should have stayed quit when I had five years but nooooo, had to go out and experiment for several more. Oh well, the past is the past. I’m just internally sad but it’s a very strange sad feeling. Like it is there….barely under the surface but I’m not crying or anything. I think I just miss my kids really bad today on top of everything else. xoxoxoxoxo

  • SueK posted an update 6 months ago

    Well that was interesting. I was given a bottle of kombucha by a friend who is thinking of selling it at her booth at the Farmers’ Market. I make it myself, so I’m used to drinking it. I know it can overferment and become alcoholic. I also know how to make it so that doesn’t happen. I poured myself a glass, had a good sniff, very strong ginger and no booze smell. I drank half the glass… and then I got this funny old familiar feeling in my arms and legs — that feeling I used to love when I had my first drink… so shit, this kombucha is boozy, in spite of not smelling like it.
    I’m very pleased to report that I did not have one single feeling of pleasure over this. I was first alarmed, then curious, and then just seriously amazed that I used to like this feeling. I hate it now. I have poured the rest of the kombucha down the sink. And I’m waiting for the effects to wear off. I’m so glad this didn’t go another way and start a craving or a desire for “just a bit more”. No. Thank goodness.
    Be careful of these fermented drinks — kombucha, kefir and the like. They can overferment and become boozy.
    So that’s my excitement for Saturday night. Time for some fireside relaxation. XXX to you all.

    • @suek wow! Thanks for the post, that would not be good for me as I might end up having instant “BOING” and want more. You handled it perfectly. What a weird thing to have happen!

      • @sober4real — I know, that was the first thing that crossed my mind when I recognised the “symptoms”… am I going to like this? Fortunately I Did Not. I am very grateful.

    • How unpleasant @suek sounds like you handled it like a champ.

      I remember when I did a bit of “research” a couple of years ago I drank red wine and it made me feel sick straight away. A kind of funny heavy feeling in my stomach and chest. Like a fool I persisted, drinking more so that the psychoactive effect would help me ignore the symptoms of being poisoned.

      But only on a few occasions, for a few weeks and then I happily got back on the AF track. Phew!

    • That’s actually really scary @suek. That instant feeling is exactly the feeling I and other’s never want to experience again!!! Ever xx

    • JM replied 6 months ago

      Hi @SueK! Isn’t it a relief that you hated it? Ha, that crap has no power over you! I felt that way when I was at the dentist and had gas. I hated that slightly woozy out of control feeling. Have a cozy, good Sat night! x

    • Oh, sounds scary to me! Before this go around, I had a drink after a stint of sobriety and had the same feeling. I hated it and had to drink through it to get over it. Silly drinkers! Just got to keep drinking, don’t we?

    • Wow, I didn’t know that. Do you think the ones you buy in the store are safe (as opposed to homemade ones)?

      • @cog2019 I think it can happen to any fermented product that is unpasturised and left long enough. To put it in perspective, alcohol forms in very ripe fruit — it’s a natural process. But you don’t want to be drinking what you think is an alcohol free drink, when in fact there is a chance it does have an alcohol content. I guess you just need to be aware and then use your senses (and sense).

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    That is very smart… I think I’m going to give that a try.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Great to hear. XX

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Wow, you sound empowered and unstoppable. Great to read this post.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    I lived with low-level constant anxiety for much of my life and it’s really only recently seemed to go away. And I’ve had a couple of panic attacks, which were horrendous. I think learning to meditate was the most important thing I’ve done for my mental health. It has taught me to be able to watch what’s going on in my body and mind (emotions, feelings, thoughts) and decide if I want to engage with them, or let them pass. So anxious thoughts, I generally pass on, unless I feel that there’s a danger and I need to deal with it! Doesn’t always work out the way it’s meant to, but it’s a darn sight better than being dragged through the muck and drama of every thought that passes through my mind — it can be pretty messy in there!

    • Hi @suek me too. I agree with you. I have been to weekend retreats on meditation and practiced for a few years…best time ever, clear in my thinking, diligent about letting certain thoughts go…..you are so right that it works. It is messy in my head too…I don’t advocate anyone going in there…hahaha!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Well done. Those are courageous conversations to have. Great that you’ll be enjoying a couple of nights off cooking.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Good stuff Mrs D… you never know when you’re going to write a best-seller eh? XX.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Thanks @sober4real, hope all is well with you. Even when I’m not here I think of this community every day — it’s a life line for so many of us in so many ways. X

    • Yes, going super well thank you! I agree – love this place, love NZ! So thankful for @mrs-d and this lovely site!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    I feel that joy every morning when I wake up and it’s priceless.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    I loved reading this post, thank you. Sometimes it’s best just to take the annoying “past-it” stuff to the second hand shop. I do this with knitting and crochet projects that give me the stink-eye — “you’ll never finish me because you’re a loser”… Off to the op shop with them. I don’t need that shit in my life. Thanks for the empowering thoughts.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    A speedy and complete healing wish to you! Take care out there in the jungle.

    • Hahaha it sure is a jungle – still amazes me how some bare garden can become full of glorious tomatoes (wild and half staked), purple cabbages, kale, herbs,swiss chard, bok choy, lettuce, beetroot, and rampaging pumpkins. So beautiful, but crying out for taming and I am just work work working day and night, all weekends … never mind

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Ahhh yoga and painting. Two of my life-savers. Congratulations on the new role. That’s brilliant.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Sounds like you’ve got a full life going on there — and how great that you’re not trying to juggle booze into the equation. You are right that change is gradual, but it’s also incredibly positive. A great day to you too.

  • SueK posted an update 6 months ago

    Hey sober superheros, and soon-to-be-sobers… I’ve been sucked down a rabbit hole full of paints and brushes and fountain pens and watercolours and snow shovels and words and paragraphs and chapters…. in short, I’ve been deep in sketching, writing and winter. The days speedy by when I’m in this kind of flow state, but sometimes I neglect my social calls… so Hello again. Looking forward to spending some time catching up with the members feed. XX

    • Hi @suek! I wondered how you were doing…..you artists can sure get into the flow. I think it’s awesome and therapeutic. Glad to see you! xoxox

      • Thanks @sober4real, hope all is well with you. Even when I’m not here I think of this community every day — it’s a life line for so many of us in so many ways. X

        • Yes, going super well thank you! I agree – love this place, love NZ! So thankful for @mrs-d and this lovely site!

    • Hey lovely friend! I just re-published your ‘Be Your Own Best Friend’ post from 2014 and featured it on the home page. It’s such a goodie. Lovely to hear from you xx

      • Good stuff Mrs D… you never know when you’re going to write a best-seller eh? XX.

    • Creativity is the best. xx

    • Always good to see you.

    • What a great space to disappear into!

    • Hello lovely one. So nice to see you and hear from you XXXX

    • Wonderful .

    • I love that you have such a rabbit hole! Glad you popped up to say hi.

    • Dive in and wallow! “Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.”
      ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    wow, those are really humbling stories. Thanks or sharing the link.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    I love that thought…

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    @em76 I have some free classes on youtube if you want to try them: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClyF2PiuqqQOSp2u-RHsPKg

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Haha, @claloula I used to practice for wine points too!! These days I’m teaching mostly seated/supported classes — so chair yoga, mostly for an older crowd of people who really want to do yoga, but found the regular classes with younger teachers a bit humiliating!! It’s a lot of fun — and it’s amazing how much of a great workout it can be. I say you can do all the postures, you just eliminate the risk of falling over and knocking yourself out!!

    • That sounds brilliant, yoga should be the most inclusive thing there is, but I know ashtanga (which I (sort of) practice) can be quite full on and it’s really nice to slow it down. I get so cross with sportswear companies, I think Sweaty Betty was one of them, which have logo laden clothes saying things like ‘no pain no champagne’. My pilates teacher who is brilliant makes jokes about drinking wine as though that’s what we’d all rather be doing, it’s just weird. There was a brilliant episode of Yes, Prime Minister years ago where the sports minister (a chain smoking, unhealthy overweight man) was standing up for the interests of the tobacco industry – I think there’s something still going on with the drinks industry that is similar.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    She could try Alanon online. I know so many people who have had amazing support from Alanon. https://www.ola-is.org/

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    This post brought tears to my eyes. So glad you are back and so focussed on what makes sense for you to be the happiest and best you can be. I have been where you were and are… and now 6+ years sober, I am cheering you along, because you so can do it! XX

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Airports are both a trigger and a haven to me. I love the sense of excitement and adventure, the feeling of taking off to someplace else. I hate the flashing cocktail bar signs!!!!! Have a great trip.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    That’s great recognition, and it’s also good that you’re in a position to consider it and decide one way or another depending what you think is best for you. That’s a strong place to be.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    That is a brilliant response to those destructive voices. We are on this earth to be creative and find meaning and to LIVE… and that’s what you’re doing when you make art. Keep up the great work.

    • Yes @suek i know you are an artist too . Ira Glass on storytelling says it so well on Vimeo if you can see her short video . Thanks for your comment , i truely appreciate it .

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Happy sober Friday evening to you too. Eventually it gets to be normal to be alcohol free, but those habits, particularly the ones we were quite serious about (eg. Friday night drinking!!) do take a while to break. Good for you for being resolved. PS. love your name @cleareyes

  • SueK posted an update 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    It’s Friday happy hour, and I’ve got mixed feelings about the whole thing. I teach a yoga class from 4 – 5pm Fridays. All people about my age, and we have a nice relaxed class. Recently the church across the road from the yoga studio has opened as a brew pub. After class a group of the students decided to go for a beer at the new brew pub. What? They invited me to come. Part of me thought, “why not, I probably should socialise with them occasionally. It’s not like I never go to pubs.” And part of me thought, “WTF, I’ve just taught a really nice yoga class, we’re all zened out and relaxed, and you’re thinking about wrecking that by going to a noisy pub with a bunch of people drinking? Forget it.” So I came home, lit the fire, made a pot of genmaicha tea. I’d much rather hang out with you guys, to be perfectly honest. Hope you’re all doing OK. I’m looking forward to checking the members feed right now. XXX

    • Hearing ya Sue xo

    • Cheers to that ! Ginger beer in hand .

    • aww! a yoga friend used to tell me that I just practiced for ‘wine points’ – and he was probably right. I can’t imagine wanting a drink after a lovely yoga class anymore (though I do go to the café for cake after pilates sometimes). Their loss is our gain! What style of yoga do you teach?

      • Haha, @claloula I used to practice for wine points too!! These days I’m teaching mostly seated/supported classes — so chair yoga, mostly for an older crowd of people who really want to do yoga, but found the regular classes with younger teachers a bit humiliating!! It’s a lot of fun — and it’s amazing how much of a great workout it can be. I say you can do all the postures, you just eliminate the risk of falling over and knocking yourself out!!

        • That sounds brilliant, yoga should be the most inclusive thing there is, but I know ashtanga (which I (sort of) practice) can be quite full on and it’s really nice to slow it down. I get so cross with sportswear companies, I think Sweaty Betty was one of them, which have logo laden clothes saying things like ‘no pain no champagne’. My pilates teacher who is brilliant makes jokes about drinking wine as though that’s what we’d all rather be doing, it’s just weird. There was a brilliant episode of Yes, Prime Minister years ago where the sports minister (a chain smoking, unhealthy overweight man) was standing up for the interests of the tobacco industry – I think there’s something still going on with the drinks industry that is similar.

    • Geez for a moment there, I read that as a church opened a pub. Yep, there’s times for mixing with drinkers, and times when I’d rather not. There’s no need to, a lot of people don’t drink.

    • I went back to yoga last week after 6 months not doing it and got a bit (quietly) tearful as the class started realising how much I’d missed it. Pubs are ok if the company is lovely and you’re in the mood and you can drink something refreshing and it doesn’t matter that there’s booze around. But it’s not always like that. Love your self awareness and YOU! x

    • @suek way to set a good example. I never understood the doing yoga, running marathons or hiking 10 miles and go get drunk afterwards. Never made sense to me. When I was younger I would exercise to burn off a hangover but I’m too old for that now!

    • Go you! Yay! ❤️

    • Yeah, why waste your true relaxation supporting a fake relaxation? Good for you!

    • @suek You might be interested in this article – about how yoga is helping refugees and asylum seekers here: http://www.offthematintotheworld.org/blog/2019/2/8/ourmala?fbclid=IwAR2LLfaRA-xPxcVkpOVsAWLmSyu2KCRvGh3aJBMt0T-wm23jvEKHzN7Jd5M

    • I wish I could find a yoga class I enjoy! Every time I’ve taken a class it has been a woman doing yoga in the front of the room, mostly with her eyes closed, murmuring names as she changes position, and the class all on mats behind trying to copy her – and it’s soooo expensive here!

    • i do yoga on sunday mornings. i did it before i quit and drank afterwards. now, i still hang out with my friends who drink beer while i sip on my AF drink. i enjoy the company. Now that I am not drinking with them, we all have one, before we had two, three, four. etc.

  • SueK posted an update 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Quick check in to say hello to all you sober superstars, and everyone who’s working on living booze free. I was thinking earlier how back in the day, when I worked in a corporate office in the city, today would be Boozeday Tuesday… an obligatory pub night after work. Any excuse did. We also had Thirsty Thursday, and of course Friday night drinks. What a huge suck hole of time and money and serenity. Oh well. Today is Choose-day… and I choose to be happily sober. XX

    • @suek I love love “CHOOSEDAY”…..for me it’s Tuesday Chooseday….and I choose NO. I told a sober friend today that being snowed in made me have a brief thought of drinking. Snowdays were great for drinking back in the day, until they weren’t. It’s no fun to be on snow days and then pass out when your brother in law comes over to bring movies for a fun day and you ruin it. Yeah, that memory right there is enough to say no to alcohol! 🙂

      • And being really hot and relaxing at the beach the other day made me long to drink. We are hopeless cases as far as reasons to crave go! , no other way to look at it. But also heroes for resisting.

    • Haha! Every day is an excuse to drink! Glad you’re here and not there!

    • @Suek….’suck hole’….ahahahhhha

    • I love that….”choose day”!

    • Oh yes @suek, thanks for the reminders of those ridiculous names we came up with to encourage (or excuse!) our drinking!! So nice to be free from that. Have a wonderful day!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    All the best for the new job.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sounds like you rocked that night out!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    That’s a great read. Thanks. I can relate to a lot of that.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    It sure can!

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    wow. I l that song ove

    LOVE

  • SueK posted an update 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    One of the big plusses for me about getting sober is that my social life is starting to feel like it fits right. Back in the day, my social life was completely focussed on drinking. I did nothing social that didn’t involve drinking and I had no friends that were not drinking buddies. If you didn’t drink, I thought we had nothing in common so no point in being friends. Non drinkers are weirdos, right? So I quit drinking, and a lot of my so-called friendships dried up too. But it’s interesting when drinking is not an option for connecting with people, I have started to meet people who I actually share real interests with. I recently met a woman who goes out sketching… she showed me her sketch book and I was super inspired, and now we go out together, to cafes, the farmers’ market etc. and we sketch. It’s not weird. It’s really nice. Saturday night here and I’m home in front of the fire. I like my home-body life a lot, especially in winter.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    It’s normal, but I believe you can alleviate the heaviness and negative feelings/thoughts about the “slog” by focussing on all the positive things that go along with being sober. It is super helpful to write down a few things every day that you’re grateful for about being sober. That starts to train your brain into enjoying and appreciating the upside, rather than focussing on what it thinks your giving up or losing. Might be worth a try while you’re going through this.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    I love that feeling when you wake up in the night and realise how good it is to be sober. It never gets old.

  • SueK posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    Sounds like you’ve already earned your angel wings with that 4.30 wake up time! Take good care of yourself.

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