• kitten posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    ggeeezz, @stevef, not to offend, but who has a 6000 sq ft mountain home. i would have felt out place regardless of whether there was booze. i don’t know your situation and maybe you slip in and out of 6000 sq ft homes all the time, I dont. i cant even think about all that booze, all those views, what a day, hope you are sleeping well by this point, best to you.

  • Jocord posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Oh, I’m sorry @Stevef. I think I would’ve felt left out, too. But probably from more than just the alcohol! The 6,000 square feet, the mountain, and the perception that they can keep fully stocked bars at every turn. Who can do that? And why bother if they don’t drink it? Aaah, I think I just made myself feel better. What a waste of money. Better to have a coffee/ice cream bar at every turn. Now, about that 6,000 square foot, mountain house….

    • I think they should have been focusing on making you comfortable, do they know you don’t drink? I have unanswered questions. But I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been there. Well not in a 6,000 sq ft mtn home, but in the proverbial boozy 6k sq ft mtn home. We must be true to ourselves. Well done on staying strong. If they can’t make you comfortable there , then maybe for you, it really isn’t such a great place.

  • womackm posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    i know you must have FELT left out- but from your story, I imagined you looking really cool and IN CONTROL. You were the guy- not from outer space, but the guy that has his life together so well, you simply cannot be bothered wasting a single minute on the stuff. THAT is the guy I see! @stevef

  • Hammer123 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    That’s a tough day @stevef, but you are strong enough to get through it! I felt similar last summer when visiting my sister in Kelowna, they took us to a winery and ohhhed and awed about the wine over dinner. I only had four months AF but still managed to sip on a ginger beer through dinner. Left me feeling like I was missing out, the truth is I enjoyed dinner, the beautiful view and the company! Well done on your part, hope you feel better today!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Hi @SteveF. I hope the morning finds you with happier thoughts and it should as you did not give in to the situation. I, at times, look at this entire city with the same vision, it’s just one big bar with endless amounts of booze flowing, like it’s been stabbed and bleeds out alcohol. I am mostly am ok with it because I now realize that it’s a game that I am no good at, I lose every single time but I still feel removed from what’s perfectly normal here and it can make me feel restless and uncomfortable. Is right now. Hang tight. I agree with what @liberty and @enzedgirl said. We made a decision and it’s a dam good one. It’s hard sometimes though, watching the world erase the world. Well that’s what booze meant for me.

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Oh boy @stevef sorry that happened to you.

    They are clearly big boozers. I hope you get a good sleep and wake up feeling clear and on track about the fabulous decision that is yours to be alcohol free xxx

    • Hi @SteveF. I hope the morning finds you with happier thoughts and it should as you did not give in to the situation. I, at times, look at this entire city with the same vision, it’s just one big bar with endless amounts of booze flowing, like it’s been stabbed and bleeds out alcohol. I am mostly am ok with it because I now realize that it’s a game that I am no good at, I lose every single time but I still feel removed from what’s perfectly normal here and it can make me feel restless and uncomfortable. Is right now. Hang tight. I agree with what @liberty and @enzedgirl said. We made a decision and it’s a dam good one. It’s hard sometimes though, watching the world erase the world. Well that’s what booze meant for me.

  • Liberty posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Oof, intense @stevef. All that money; all that energy focussed on alcohol, wow, that’s some major identification with what drinking represents. No wonder you felt so excluded.
    You didn’t blow a thing worth having friend. What’s worth having can’t be taken from you. It’s just lonely being a person who’s following their own path. Take care.

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    @chrisym47. Like @stevef said. Use the whole site. Mrs d has put together quite a bit of information. Check in often and do nt pick up the drink. Look forward to seeing u here.

  • Hammer123 posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Congratulations @stevef, well done and thanks for showing the new people it can be done!

  • Jaxisdry posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Fab post @stevef very inspiring. Flinching whilst walking past the wine aisles at the supermarket still gets me. Happy One Year Sober.

  • Ro posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Congrats on a solid year @stevef you little bewdy!

  • robynb posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Well done, @steveF. Congratulations!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Hiya Neighbor! This made me smile!! Big congrats @steveF!!!

  • Saoirse posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Congratulations @stevef 🎉🎉👏👏

    • I’m interested, have emailed 🙂

    • Ro replied 1 month ago

      and its a big no from me 🙁 same old yarn no cash to have a holiday. Daughters op coming up have to pay $1000 for accommodation and take 2-4weeks off work. And have a family reunion before xmas. Can’t afford everything. Get back to me in 5 years

    • Oh thank you so much for tagging all those lovely peeps liberty 😊👍🏼

    • Gojo replied 1 month ago

      Oooh thanks for tagging me in @liberty ! @enzedgirl I am keen. I will need to find out the dates before I can commit tho.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    That’s actually filtered @SteveF, to a degree. It’s tough to tame my mind sometimes, just enough to get things out. Each sentence could be an essay, perhaps a book. lol

  • Treehugger posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    @Andian – I hear you, by the end of my time drinking I used to buy my wines (my top choice of alcoholic drink) based on the alcohol content too. Was part of the reason I switched from Sav to Pinot Gris, due to most having a higher content. As for mocktails, AF wine and beer, I agree with @SteveF, each to their own. If you find that drinking mocktails triggers you, then don’t drink them. I drank AF beer and wine for a time, but this did trigger me somewhat, and left me bloated so I stopped. We are all very different and what works for one, may not for another. If you are choosing sober, just don’t pick up that first alcoholic drink, whatever that may be 🙂

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thanks for the thoughts @steveF. I thought you were here as well. I got past 4 months and caved a bit with the stress but it was very short lived and over. I was born here and have lots of family but have left before for significant periods of time. Giving it a year with my new job and will see what happens but right now I feel stuck and am not very happy. My work flooded as well and that left me feeling pretty vulnerable.

    • Been catching up with your posts @lee-2. Sorry you stumbled but that’s all it is, just a stumble. You know how to do this and I’m sure you’ll be prepared next time the urge to self destruct creeps in. We have a summer home in North Carolina so we can escape the heat and storms so we were spared having to go through that mess. I feel for you but there are better days ahead. xxxx

    • Hello, Lee@, from Mobile, AL. Didn’t realize you were right down the road. I had a stumble too, over July 4th weekend when I was visiting friends in Texas. But I had made it further than ever before (33 days), so I am just subtracting those days from my total and carrying on! So Day 42 for me, and best wishes to you, my Gulf Coast neighbor.

      • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

        Hi @bridgette, suppose I could have just subtracted a day but that seems to mess with my head to much. I’m not a numbers person and besides, each sober day is worth celebrating. I’m just glad this week is over but you know we are not out of the woods until late Sept.

  • dorothyparker posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I have to say I am the same as @stevef here. I love a decent mocktail.
    Definitely not trying to deceive anyone, I’d be the first to admit its virgin but why should people drinking alcohol have all the fun. I’m actually fascinated to see what bars and restaurants around NZ have the best AF cocktails I’m offer
    I’m based in Wgtn, but heading to AK soon for work.
    Anyone have any recommendations?
    In Wgtn Charlie Nobles has a few creative ones. I hear Nightflower does too.
    Havana Bar was incredibly disappointing with its AF selection.
    Perhaps we could start a list of recommendations around the globe in site menu @mrs-d?

  • Day 431
    6:34am

    Today’s thought from my big comfy chair: “Thank you for the support”

    I was scrolling through the profiles this morning when it dawned on me how many people on this site have touched me in some way. A comment on my post or something that they posted that resonated with me, something that made me laugh or sometimes cry. What a wonderful supportive, safe place this has become for me. So I will leave you with this Bruce Springsteen lyric that has been running through my mind over the last couple of days. From the song “Into The Fire”

    May your strength give us strength
    May your hope give us hope
    May your faith give us faith
    May your love give us love

    Thank you to the following people and sorry to anyone I may have missed.
    @stevef, @jm, @liberty, @morgan, @ro, @winner, @malibustacey, @happyness, @kitten, @mari135, @timidwarrior, @robynb, @freedom1025, @k1w1, @chasingthedandelion, @kit, @jocord, @mrs-d, @daveh, @danthedev, @agirl, @enzedgirl, @prudence, @soberstylist,@rise2015, @missfreedom, @tom4500, @trace, @wildchild, @ylang-ylang, @janus2, @iowadawn

    • I echo the thanks!! I’m grateful to the folks further along in the journey who take the time to turn around and extend their hand and show us the way. So glad you’re here @hammer123!

    • Thanks for the mention @hammer123. We are all in this together and the support we give one another is truly a blessing. Each one of us has a different story as to how we went off the rails and started abusing alcohol. We are not bad people we just got addicted. This is what we all share and deal with on this journey to live an AF life. We are all very fortunate to have stumbled on to this wonderful community that @Mrs-D started at the beginning of her journey. Thanks to everyone of you for being here! May you all have a great AF day!

    • Nicely said and widely shared @hammer123. I too am extremely grateful for this place and for all the warm, supportive, non-judgemental, empathetic (I could go on…) people here. To know that there are people just like me, all over the world, struggling with the same issue and experiencing the same emotions – and willing to reach out to help others along has been quite a humbling, yet empowering experience. Sending out sincere thanks to all – and wishing everyone a peaceful AF day.

    • I totally agree! This has been tough but also at times easier than I imagined and I think that has a lot to do with this community. It is my touch stone first thing in the morning and last thing at night and it reminds me what I am doing and why. So grateful x.@hammer123

    • 🤗

    • Xxx

    • It’s a wonderful thing we have here @hammer123. Very very precious to me. Thank you for your support too. 🌹🌹🌹

    • Love that song 💚

    • Hey @hammer123 !!! You have inspired me too . 🌻

    • thanks @hammer123 – and back at ya 🙂 xx

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    I will @SteveF.. thank you x

  • Lucy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you @SteveF.. your doing brilliantly well done you x

  • AprilsFool posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you @SteveF. At 107 days, I can attest to the fact that if you practice these, they really work. Have a great day!

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    congrats @stevef, certainly a different view of life right now. enjoy your summer home.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Oh the good ole bathroom days. I had a portable bar set up in my bathroom when I was married and the in laws would visit. Everything except ice. 323 days is amazing @SteveF! Big congrats!!!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Bingo @SteveF! Keep on driving!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hey neighbor!! @SteveF I have been working on and chipping away at sobriety ever since it began to get to be a
    debilitating problem which was 17 years ago and I was born in 66 so I doubt there is that much difference in our age. A lot of what I’ve learned in recovery had stuck except I’d end up drinking again at some point. I am very involved in AA here, have been on and off but the place I go to is awesome. There are many other meetings in this city that I could not sit through. Nothing really worked for me until I made up my mind to stop completely. Now everything recovery related is just a superior bonus! I just began working at one of our finest tucked away places here. Would love to meet you and your wife. Maybe @MrsD could hook us up by email and I’ll give you the details!

  • AprilsFool posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    More good tools for me to try. Thank you @SteveF. And Congratulations !!!

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Yes, @stevef, that says it all “sure beats being stuck on that boozy merry go round that is going nowhere.” yes!!!! Yes, 299, i did not know we were close to day partners depending on how you count your days.

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    thank you, @stevef . I have listened to Tara Brach’s podcast, but it did not click, I will give it another try. Congrats on your 493 days and you 298 no slip.

  • angiex posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @stevef and everyone else above 🙂

  • freedom1025 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    @stevef I was in Florida about a month ago and the cravings were there big time … this is after 2 1/2 years of sobriety. The beach, the sun, the fun restaurants were all a big trigger. I knew they would pop up and they did. being prepared helped. I also came here every day and listened to my favorite podcasts to reinforce why drinking would be a really dumb idea. 😊

  • Marie2 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    @stevef I think that will be my biggest yet to come challenge. Moderate but constant drinking on all my past hols. But in planning ahead I’m reminding myself I managed to enjoy my past holidays without injecting drugs, snorting drugs or sniffing drugs so why should I feel I am missing out by not sipping a drug? Also, have realised three weeks in how the ritual of an AF drink still gives me a buzz. Looking forward to having my diet tonic AF cocktails on my next trip.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    @stevef yeah but what about the crappy beach hangovers? Those are the worst! Especially with sunburn and dehydration. No matter where I go I could have always made the fun horrible with drinking. It might seem fun for others but it sure wasn’t that way for me any longer. No matter where I was at if I drank I was going to get drunk. 🙁 Maybe no one else would notice but I would not have a fun time anymore. Glad you are looking at your gratitude list. That usually assists me through things like you are dealing with.

  • Chaves posted an update 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    It sure is amazing @stevef this place and all these absolutely wonderful ones. Huge thanks for your post 🙂

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Beautiful words sailor- the storm is over. Says it so well. I am grateful that the storm is over too. (@Stevef has better grammar than me 😉)

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    And I can relate to the years of ER visits @SteveF. I’ve been treated for kidney infections numerous times through the years but I was never told that I should quit drinking although I probably was not honest about how much I did. Don’t remember. Needless to say that I’ve never gotten one sober. I like the merry-go-round concept. I had to shut down the whole carnival!! I was the freak show host and am happily retired!!! 🙂

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey @SteveF it’s not Jazz fest so much although it does bring in a bunch of my old party peeps. I’m from here and pretty much gave up on the huge crowds years ago. My mind is restless in terms of work and relationships. I’m dissatisfied with the amount of money that I am making at a job that I took because it involves less stress (I thought) and there’s someone that I met in AA that I am crazy about but I am told by my sober peers to hang tight and focus on myself for a while. (A year to be exact) A year is standard AA protocol for not getting involved with anyone if your not already in a relationship, this person has 16 years sober and will certainly obey the AA Law, so for now it’s just a shit pile of awkwardness whenever we see one another. It’s like high school crush cute but I’m 52 so it sucks. I’ve got 10 months and 12 days to go so I’ll be taking things very slowly. lol. As far as the job is concerned, there are no rules, I will begin leisurely looking for something new.

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    @SteveF I’m not a fan of the huge crowds either. I have several sober musician friends that play it and just found out that there is an AA meeting in the midst of it at noon every day. Some sober ants in that pile!

  • Lee@ posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hey @SteveF are you ready for Jazz Fest? We are getting ready to get busy again! Much better crowd than Mardi Gras!

    • Good Morning @lee-2! Yeah, we plan on going this Friday. Thursday’s looking not so good with rain coming in. We avoid the weekends cause of he crowds. This will be my second AF Jazz Fest. Really nice to be able to enjoy it instead of worrying about getting my next drink. How about you?

    • @SteveF I’m not a fan of the huge crowds either. I have several sober musician friends that play it and just found out that there is an AA meeting in the midst of it at noon every day. Some sober ants in that pile!

  • IslandOne posted a new activity comment 3 months, 4 weeks ago

    I hope that you’re feeling better, @SteveF. You’re moving in a positive way to a better life.

  • Jocord posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Aw, I’m sorry @SteveF! Memories of joy filled days can hurt. It is the mark of a life well lived! Take heart you have already influenced so many positively. xo

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    So happy @stevef we all have those down times and blah holidays. Great to know they pass!! 🙂

  • Krisb posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hope you’re feeling better today @stevef, holidays can be so hard. Maybe you can start new traditions next year, something different to look forward to. So glad we don’t drink, up or down always good to see you! Have a good day!

  • Hammer123 posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hi @stevef, I hope the blues pass quickly for you! It’ times like these that I look towards gratitude. My lovely wife, a job I like, fun co-workers, summer is coming and of course I am sober!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    @stevef I totally understand – my family dynamics have changed so much and I get lonely too. I used to have 16 nieces and nephews around me plus my kids with big get togethers. I miss it sometimes too. I think it’s natural to feel down like that once in a while as we go into these different phases of our lives. I’m thinking of you! Just remember tomorrow is a new day.

  • Liberty posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hi @SteveF, do you know, I just got up from a nap and was thinking about what a lonely time Easter can be. For me I have family still alive but we’re not really close, so Easter has a way of reminding me of that painful emptiness. I think it can be a time when we anticipate togetherness and that doesn’t happen. People seem to retreat over Easter, me included.
    On the other hand it was an Easter when I stopped drinking, and I now have a few online communities like this one, and am grateful there’s somewhere I can connect with others in such times. Like now, so I’m really glad you and @k1w1 shared what you did. xx

  • JM posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hi @SteveF! It’s good you reached out. I had kind of a lonely week-end too. Good that we didn’t drink. Hope your week is easier. : )

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Hi @stevef One of the difficult things to get used to when we are sober is that life is real! Once we stop drinking then we also drop how we used to blur away all the difficult things in life. S.O.B.E.R (Son Of a Bitch. Everything’s Real!). We just have to learn to get by the same way everyone else does!
    Yes it’s true that “This too shall pass”, but there’s another way to deal with it and that is to DO SOMETHING to make it pass. It can only stay there while there is vacant mind-space available.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @SteveF

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