Jan 23, 2018. I have been a closet drinker for the last 15 years. In the last year the drinking has increased, and I have started to lose interest in things that I really enjoy doing. Almost all of my time was focused on sneaking and how to hide what I was doing. Some of you probably know the drill. Sneaking booze into the house, sneaking the evidence out, etc. I have decided to quit. I am now on day 16 of being sober. I want my life back. Feb 12, 2019. It’s now been 401 days since I started on this journey. I have had four 1 day slips in the past 13 months but it’s been 206 days since the last one. The cravings are GONE! Occasionally I experience a mild trigger but they pass quickly. I don’t engage them and they pass. So, for those of you that are just getting started, please believe that it really does get easier, but you have to do the work. Read everything you can, and stay close to this amazing community of loving, caring, supportive people who have all been where you are. Thanks to everyone here for supporting me, and God bless you @Mrs D for creating this amazing place called Living Sober.
I just had a nerve racking experience. Some friends just took me on a tour of their new 6,000 sq ft mountain home. Three stories with fully stocked bars, wine coolers, and keg beer at every turn. Wine and beer were flowing while we took the tour. I felt so left out like I was from outer space. I feel like I must have really blown it to be “the guy” that doesn’t drink. Back home now, but feeling very anxious and down. I will not drink tonight. Just want to go to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Hells Bells – there is plenty odd about all that – I would wanna hide too – ride it through – it’s probably one of those funny very much after the event situations 😁 and as far as I am concerned you are “that guy that is grounded and steeped in self respect”.
Oof, intense @stevef. All that money; all that energy focussed on alcohol, wow, that’s some major identification with what drinking represents. No wonder you felt so excluded. You didn’t blow a thing worth having friend. What’s worth having can’t be taken from you. It’s just lonely being a person who’s following their own path. Take care.
Hi @SteveF. I hope the morning finds you with happier thoughts and it should as you did not give in to the situation. I, at times, look at this entire city with the same vision, it’s just one big bar with endless amounts of booze flowing, like it’s been stabbed and bleeds out alcohol. I am mostly am ok with it because I now realize that it’s a game that I am no good at, I lose every single time but I still feel removed from what’s perfectly normal here and it can make me feel restless and uncomfortable. Is right now. Hang tight. I agree with what @liberty and @enzedgirl said. We made a decision and it’s a dam good one. It’s hard sometimes though, watching the world erase the world. Well that’s what booze meant for me.
That’s a tough day @stevef, but you are strong enough to get through it! I felt similar last summer when visiting my sister in Kelowna, they took us to a winery and ohhhed and awed about the wine over dinner. I only had four months AF but still managed to sip on a ginger beer through dinner. Left me feeling like I was missing out, the truth is I enjoyed dinner, the beautiful view and the company! Well done on your part, hope you feel better today!
i know you must have FELT left out- but from your story, I imagined you looking really cool and IN CONTROL. You were the guy- not from outer space, but the guy that has his life together so well, you simply cannot be bothered wasting a single minute on the stuff. THAT is the guy I see! @stevef
Oh, I’m sorry @Stevef. I think I would’ve felt left out, too. But probably from more than just the alcohol! The 6,000 square feet, the mountain, and the perception that they can keep fully stocked bars at every turn. Who can do that? And why bother if they don’t drink it? Aaah, I think I just made myself feel better. What a waste of money. Better to have a coffee/ice cream bar at every turn. Now, about that 6,000 square foot, mountain house….
I think they should have been focusing on making you comfortable, do they know you don’t drink? I have unanswered questions. But I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been there. Well not in a 6,000 sq ft mtn home, but in the proverbial boozy 6k sq ft mtn home. We must be true to ourselves. Well done on staying strong. If they can’t make you comfortable there , then maybe for you, it really isn’t such a great place.
Steve, I’ve been thinking about your post since I first read it. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I imagine myself in that situation and how I would have felt coming home to my humble hovel after touring a 6000 sq ft palace.
So I will give you the same pep talk I would give myself: a huge house and flowing booze does not necessarily eqate happiness. Alcohol use disorder and depression are equal opportunity employers.
I don’t know if you heard, but I’m in the States and another Kennedy has died. A granddaughter of RFK was found dead at the Kennedy compound in Hyannis. Possible overdose. All that wealth and fame, all that tragedy.
Today I will be grateful for the solid roof over my head, even if said roof does not cover a mansion. Hope you are well.
ggeeezz, @stevef, not to offend, but who has a 6000 sq ft mountain home. i would have felt out place regardless of whether there was booze. i don’t know your situation and maybe you slip in and out of 6000 sq ft homes all the time, I dont. i cant even think about all that booze, all those views, what a day, hope you are sleeping well by this point, best to you.
@suzkep@liberty@enzedgirl@lee-2@scared@lynnelowe@hammer123@womackm@jocord@tom4500@erica375@kitten. Thanks for your comments. It’s 2 days later and I’m totally over it. I think this was a case of walking into something that I was totally unprepared for. If I’m going to socialize with drinkers, I always have a game plan. This thing just blind sided me (which is never good when it comes to alcohol). Always be prepared and always have a game plan! Next time I’ll be prepared! Have a great AF day everyone, and thanks for being here!