• SteveF posted a new activity comment 8 hours, 8 minutes ago

    Been catching up with your posts @lee-2. Sorry you stumbled but that’s all it is, just a stumble. You know how to do this and I’m sure you’ll be prepared next time the urge to self destruct creeps in. We have a summer home in North Carolina so we can escape the heat and storms so we were spared having to go through that mess. I feel for you but there are better days ahead. xxxx

  • SteveF posted an update 1 day, 4 hours ago

    @lee-2. I’ve been thinking about you down there in NOLA dealing with that shit storm. Hope you’re dealing with it ok and have no flooding problems. Whatever your situation, booze is not part of the solution. I read one of your earlier posts and I too have a love/hate relation with that Banana Republic called New Orleans. Great food and great culture but damn, the political system is bankrupt. Keep the faith! This too shall pass!

    • Thanks for the thoughts @steveF. I thought you were here as well. I got past 4 months and caved a bit with the stress but it was very short lived and over. I was born here and have lots of family but have left before for significant periods of time. Giving it a year with my new job and will see what happens but right now I feel stuck and am not very happy. My work flooded as well and that left me feeling pretty vulnerable.

      • Been catching up with your posts @lee-2. Sorry you stumbled but that’s all it is, just a stumble. You know how to do this and I’m sure you’ll be prepared next time the urge to self destruct creeps in. We have a summer home in North Carolina so we can escape the heat and storms so we were spared having to go through that mess. I feel for you but there are better days ahead. xxxx

      • Hello, Lee@, from Mobile, AL. Didn’t realize you were right down the road. I had a stumble too, over July 4th weekend when I was visiting friends in Texas. But I had made it further than ever before (33 days), so I am just subtracting those days from my total and carrying on! So Day 42 for me, and best wishes to you, my Gulf Coast neighbor.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 day, 5 hours ago

    Sorry for the fall @tipsytoegal but its just another bump in the road. You know how to do this. As someone on here once told me, throw your whole sober toolbox at it. You’ll be racking up those AF days quickly. You got this!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 day, 20 hours ago

    I don’t drink mocktails to deceive anyone or appear to be drinking like everyone else@Andian. I drink them because most of them taste better than a diet coke or tonic water. It’s refreshing that more bars and restaurants are offering them these days. To each his own.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    I remember 4 months ago when you were desperate and asking for help. I also remember you making the commitment to stop the madness. Wow @lee-2, you have come so far! You’re stopping those triggers before they can suck you back in to that black hole. Keep up the great work! It’s not always smooth sailing, I’m in a bit of a funk today, but I know booze will do absolutely nothing to help. So I just let it be and it will pass. You’re doing the same. It is so worth it!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Beautiful post @hammer123. Thanks for sharing and thank you for being here.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Welcome here @shinyhappypeople! Glad you joined us.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Welcome here @kali! I agree with what others have said. Best to be safe given your medical history.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Hoping you can find peace and relief @truthangel. I don’t know what the answer is but I do know that alcohol isn’t it. 6 months AF is a hell of an achievement! Peace xxxx

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Thanks for the mention @hammer123. We are all in this together and the support we give one another is truly a blessing. Each one of us has a different story as to how we went off the rails and started abusing alcohol. We are not bad people we just got addicted. This is what we all share and deal with on this journey to live an AF life. We are all very fortunate to have stumbled on to this wonderful community that @Mrs-D started at the beginning of her journey. Thanks to everyone of you for being here! May you all have a great AF day!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Awesome @kjpeche! You are so right, it is never too late!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    I know what a fail is and that was not a fail! That was a huge turning point for you. You can build on that. That’s a great feeling to hit the stop button and pour booze down the drain. Well done you! @teazy

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Welcome here @jmclean! You’ve come to a great place for support. Glad you joined us.

    • Thanks Steve. I’m going good, I must be ready for this now; I don’t have to fight with myself not to be tempted by wine. It’s great knowing I’m going to feel great when I wake up in the morning. And that I’m not embarrassing my husband (and myself) with my lack of self control in social settings etc ….

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Welcome here @glenn! We all have to get to the point where we want to change. Nobody can do it for us. You’ve Taken a great first step and come to a great community of understanding and supportive people. Lots of helpful tools here. Check out the whole site. I like Sober Toolbox and Mrs D’s blog. Check in often. You can do this!

    • Thanks Steve. I will do. I’m not looking forward to the next couple of weeks while i break habits but i am looking forward to the other side.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    You have put the wheels back on and you are back on track @lucy! So glad you checked back in and made the commitment to kick booze to the curb. Life is so much better. Those words from Mrs D are so powerful “it stopped being fun”. End of story. Have a great day!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Love your post @mari135. You are an inspiration to all of us. Thanks for checking in!

    • Ohh thanks so much and right back at you, you are an inspiration and always find the right words for people here. Thank YOU!
      oxoxxo

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Glad you checked back in @dylan-john. I scrolled through your posts and it looks like you were doing well a year ago. You were checking in often. Why not make yourself accountable to everyone here and commit to check in daily? Everyone here supports you and understands. I think staying connected with this community would be a big help. You can do this. I will not drink with you today!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Happy Birthday @lee-2! A Pandora’s Box it is, and there’s no way I’m opening up that box again!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Hi @gigi47. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it happens. I love this post from Mrs D’s blog:
    https://livingsober.org.nz/youre-not-a-bad-person-youre-addicted/. You’ve done this before and you can do it again with the tools you’ve used in the past. Congratulations for making the commitment today. You can do it!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    Welcome here @toxicdrops!

    • Thank you. I tend to have to make sobriety a bit of an obsession by reading up on everything I can find on the subject, and I feel I need to put it out thetecthat I am giving up so that it makes giving up a more real thing.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    This Naked Mind was a game changer for me @Lucy. Check out Annie Grace’s Facebook page and website. More tools to help you kick booze to the curb!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    It definitely will get better @yellowlark. My emotions were all over the place the first couple of months. Physical activity was a big help for me. Jogging, walking, anything to generate those wonderful endorphins to give you a lift. Please hang in there and check in here often.

    • Thanks for your encouragement. I started running again and I’m giving yoga a try. Definitely helps, I just need to stick with it. 🙂

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    You are doing so well @lee-2! You have so much wisdom about recovery, and you are so willing to share it. You continue to inspire me and so many others here. Congratulations on 98 days!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hi @Lucy. Glad you made the decision to come back. You were such an active member of this community when I first joined 15 months ago. You have been so supportive of others, including me. So many people here are fond of you. We’re all here to cheer you on. Please keep checking in.

  • SteveF posted an update 1 month ago

    Strategies for Early Recovery


    I like to post this article from time to time for those just starting on this journey. I found it to be extremely helpful in the early going. It is written by our own @Mrs D. Check it out. Have a great AF day everyone!

    • Thank you @SteveF. At 107 days, I can attest to the fact that if you practice these, they really work. Have a great day!

    • Good read, very true. I like arriving late to social gatherings, once most have had one or two they don’t notice you drinking. Also you can immediately see the impact of alcohol and it’s negative effects.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome here @blacknic!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome here @dutch!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Planning is so important @mynameisnotbob. What am I going to do when I’m faced with a trigger. You are doing exactly what you should. Congrats on day 4!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Well done on 21 days @Shez! I have a long list of reasons why I quit. I referred to it often in those tough early days. It gave me lots of motivation to fight on. Keep up the good work!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    7 days is a HUGE accomplishment @rineylou!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Congratulations on 93 days @lee-2! Your are doing so well. You are right about the empty space. It’s so important to find something constructive to fill it. For me, it has opened the door for practicing mindfulness, meditation, and self love. I am finally beginning to feel a new sense of inner peace that was not possible when I was obsessed with alcohol. Have a great AF day!

  • SteveF posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 518 of this journey. 323 days since my last and final slip. Had to laugh yesterday. We’re at our summer home. I went to the grocery store yesterday and had to use the restroom. Remembered back 2 summers ago when I was in this very same store. I bought groceries and took them to the car and then went back into the store and bought 2 24 oz beers and hurried to the bathroom where I went into a stall and chugged both of them down. The crazy shit I used to do to get a buzz going. Cravings are totally gone now. I did another first last night. Went to our club for a poker game. Everyone at the table was drinking beer or wine. I enjoyed a couple of ginger beers during the evening but didn’t miss the booze. So, for all of you going through those tough early days, keep the faith. I know it’s hard work, but as so many here have said, it really does get better. This is an amazing community, all pulling together, and kicking booze to the curb. Have a great AF day everyone, and thank you all for being here!

    • My first poker game sober was very enlightening, much easier to do the math with your head on straight! I used to get 3/4 of the way through my calculations and then blank and start over again that could happen 3 or 4 times in one hand!

    • So encouraging to read these from people who have time under their belts. I want to be there too….trying so hard not to have another day one!

    • Great strong post!

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      Oh the good ole bathroom days. I had a portable bar set up in my bathroom when I was married and the in laws would visit. Everything except ice. 323 days is amazing @SteveF! Big congrats!!!

    • Congrats Steve!! Very inspiring….thank you…:)

    • congrats @stevef, certainly a different view of life right now. enjoy your summer home.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome @Seza!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome here @stephanienorcal! You’ll find lots of support and understanding here. Glad you joined us.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome here @finalboss! Lots of support and understanding here.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thank you @Mrs D. You are such an inspiration for all of us. Teaching us and showing us by your actions how to live the sober life. Couldn’t do it without you. And yes it is good to hear a “bravo” now and then.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome here @soberwifenewlife! You’ve come to a great place for support from people who have been where you are and totally understand. Congrats on taking this first step. You can do this!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome here @dickyqueen! You’ve come to a great place if you want to get off the booze train. Lots of good advice and reading material. Glad you’ve figured out you’re heading in the wrong direction.

    • Thanks, SteveF! I got through Day 1 OK! Day 2 today, and off to a scheduled ladies’ lunch with two friends – we had promised ourselves bubbles to celebrate a shared achievement. It’ll be sober bubbles! Usually i’d get my husband to drop me off at a lunch like this. Today – I’m driving, because I won’t be drinking.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    I have tried moderating many times and it just doesn’t work for me @ladycaz. I always wind up in the same drinking out of control place. I think you know better than to try to moderate. You just hit a speed bump. Shake it off and get back on the road of sobriety. You’ll be much happier.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    You have become a real inspiration for me @lee-2. I am a good bit older than you and have been alcohol free longer but you are teaching me so much about how to kick alcohol to the curb and never turn back. I can tell you have really turned your life around and the best is ahead. Thank you for your posts and being here. You go girl!

    • Hey neighbor!! @SteveF I have been working on and chipping away at sobriety ever since it began to get to be a
      debilitating problem which was 17 years ago and I was born in 66 so I doubt there is that much difference in our age. A lot of what I’ve learned in recovery had stuck except I’d end up drinking again at some point. I am very involved in AA here, have been on and off but the place I go to is awesome. There are many other meetings in this city that I could not sit through. Nothing really worked for me until I made up my mind to stop completely. Now everything recovery related is just a superior bonus! I just began working at one of our finest tucked away places here. Would love to meet you and your wife. Maybe @MrsD could hook us up by email and I’ll give you the details!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Congratulations @kitten on 299 days! We are all works in progress aren’t we? Living life raw as Mrs D calls it. No, it’s not easy, and yes, sometimes it sucks, but it sure beats being stuck on that boozy merry go round that is going nowhere. Keep doing the work. You will get through it. I will continue working as you are to live my best alcohol free life.

    • Yes, @stevef, that says it all “sure beats being stuck on that boozy merry go round that is going nowhere.” yes!!!! Yes, 299, i did not know we were close to day partners depending on how you count your days.

  • SteveF posted an update 2 months ago

    Hello everyone. 493 days since I began this journey and 298 days since my last and final slip. Because I am now sober, I can now deal with the underlying anxiety issues that I was numbing out with alcohol for years. I have read Mrs D’s book, “Mrs D is going Within”, which was great, and Tara Brach’s book entitled “True Refuge”. For those of you who have anxiety or depression issues, I highly recommend Tara Brach. She has a website which you can subscribe to by simply creating an account. You can also find her talks on YouTube and podcasts on iTunes. Many of you have probably already discovered her, but for those of you who haven’t, she is amazing. Have a great AF day everyone, and thank you all for being here.

    • thank you, @stevef . I have listened to Tara Brach’s podcast, but it did not click, I will give it another try. Congrats on your 493 days and you 298 no slip.

    • I listen to Tara Brach’s guided meditataions several times a week, so soothing.

    • 493….Boom! Way to go, SteveF!
      I love Tara and she has helped me tons with my anxiety and depression. So glad you found her! oxoxox

    • Yay! Congrats to you! ❤️❤️

    • More good tools for me to try. Thank you @SteveF. And Congratulations !!!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Welcome here @dylan! Glad you joined us.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Welcome here @Alliyah!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Glad you joined us again @cadams. Congratulations on 88 days. Yes, it is good to be sober!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Welcome @Laws32! Congratulations on taking the first step. You’ve come to a great place.

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    I’m with you Lotta!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Congratulations on getting through your first night @trophy! Yep, sleep is rough at first but it definitely will get better. We’re all different but I would say within 7 days you should see a big improvement. Hang tough, and check in often. You’re doing great!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Welcome @trophy! You have joined a community of people that are in different stages of recovery. We are winning the battle and you can too. You will find lots of support and understanding here because we have all been where you are. Congratulations for making the decision to join. You’ve taken that very important first step. I will not drink with you today!

  • SteveF posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Glad you’re back with us @Buggles. Awesome work there! You may have seen this article before but I’ll post a link anyway. It’s written by Mrs D and talks about “Urge Surfing” among other things to help in the early going.

    Strategies for Early Recovery

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