• Written by Sas Petherick – Notes from the Path

    Hello you.

    I’ve just opened registration for my new coaching programme: Courage Under Fire.

    This is for anyone who’s self-doubt holds them back from any risk of criticism, judgement or conflict.

    As I’ve been in the creation cave over the last few months, I’ve been thinking a LOT about my own relationship with conflict. And the experiences that helped shape this.

    When I worked in London and wore uncomfortable shoes and drank my feelings, I felt constantly braced for conflict.

    Because I sought validation from my work, I was sensitive to every piece of feedback. And I tended to interpret all of it as criticism. It didn’t help that I worked with a lot of people who were prone to bullying or using sarcasm to get their point across.

    I didn’t have any healthy ways to manage criticism, judgement or conflict.

    Like most people, I had a default response, for me that was classic Avoider. I would work really really hard to never deal with any kind of conflict. I would use humour to deflect it, vodka to drown the sting of it.

    To avoid having to give other people negative feedback I would just do other people’s work, so I felt constantly resentful and exhausted. And no one really knew where they stood with me.

    I think I believed that if I ran my own business, I would be free of the fear of conflict. But as it turns out: not a chance.

    I’ve found that no matter you do, and where you do it, people will judge and criticise. People will disagree with you.

    There will always be someone disappointed in your choices. There will always be someone who doesn’t like something you said or the way you said it or that thing you reposted that someone else said first.

    And this isn’t helped by technology that encourages everybody to have an opinion. And everyone is publishing their opinions. Constantly.

    This is where we can choose to run and hide.

    Or we can spend hours ruminating over the least offensive thing we could say in…[Read more]

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 days ago

    @kitten , it would be a sad song 💕

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 days ago

    Yeah, I just wish my tears would work to a timetable @Sober4real ! Thanks for your kind words x

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 days ago

    Thank you @MalibuStacey , have nice clean sheets to put on the bed now πŸ™‚

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 days ago

    Thanks @Seizetheday , that’s a lovely reply and it just helps so much to know that people like you “get it” – and I know exactly what you mean about forcing yourself to do something, in the hope that life will feel better but it just doesn’t. Hugs right back lovely , always good to see you even if it is sideways πŸ˜‰ xo

  • I just got the energy to peel the sheets off the bed (before they walked) and get them into the washing machine. They are now being washed thanks to modern technology,
    I’d like to think I’m going to feel happy soon but the doubt starts creeping in.
    Yesterday I was in the supermarket… I stared at all the wines on the shelves… a lady beside me held up her purchase and said how nice it was. I said “I don’t really drink” and burst into tears. Have no idea what happened there, poor lady!
    I feel like I’m disappearing, my mother died last August and I’ve fallen apart.
    Hits “post” but hope it disappears πŸ˜‰

    • @song-bird – sending hugs. i was crying for no reason on Wednesday. I am not one to give advice on feeling sad, but clean sheets are certainly a start. πŸ™‚ Cannot imagine how you feel after such a tragedy, losing your mother. maybe a song from our favorite songbird?

    • I’m so sorry @song-bird…being sober is a good thing because we just hurt ourselves with it. I’m so sorry about your Mom…I know that it will kill me so I’m sending you love, light and positive vibes. Sometimes, we just have to cry! xoxox

    • Clean sheets can make all the world ‘alright’ again, @song-bird (pretty sure all our Mums would agree). As for that lady in the wine-isle…your tearful outburst may well have had her reconsidering her choice right there & then? Heh..awww….kidding aside, I think we’ve all had the unexpected public burst of one kind or another. Best outcome yet, you didn’t fall prey to purchasing a bottle or 3, yourself! Bloomin’ well done.

    • Hey you. Hang in there. These dull winter days sure don’t help people like you n me.
      Yesterday I made myself go out and weed the garden, but I didn’t get into it. I was just forcing myself and after a while gave up. I don’t have any answers, just feel for you very much. I don’t even know that β€˜time heals’. Maybe we’re too young to learn that one.
      Keep on going for those that you love, they love you and they need you so very much. You make their lives better for being you and being in it.
      Big hugs xo

      • Thanks @Seizetheday , that’s a lovely reply and it just helps so much to know that people like you “get it” – and I know exactly what you mean about forcing yourself to do something, in the hope that life will feel better but it just doesn’t. Hugs right back lovely , always good to see you even if it is sideways πŸ˜‰ xo

    • Clean sheets are the best! Sending you ❤️

    • Sending big hugs your way @song-bird! I fear losing my Mom. Bursting into tears is a sure sign you need a break and great self-care. Adrienne has a “Yoga for grief”. I thought I would just do that and cry through the whole thing. xoxo

  • @Jocord the site is definitely being an ass! Given up on trying to read more as it is not working. Frustrating!

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Hello lovely, I hope you are well 💕

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Haha you are very welcome πŸ™‚

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hi there @Sober4real, guess who are coming to NZ in August, and guess who’s going? It’s Snow Patrol and it’s me πŸ™‚

    • Hey there @song-bird that’s awesome! Wish I could join you. Don’t forget Pearl Jam comes from my state here in Washington USA! πŸ™‚ Cheers!!! Always good to see your musical posts.

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hi @NathanB – this song is from their album Yield . Eddie Vedder’s voice is like melted butter, I discovered him late in life, mainly through Neil Finn and the concert 7 Worlds Collide. I think all the songs I love in the world are melancholic πŸ˜‰ I found a live video and they were very young , not a grey hair in sight πŸ™‚

  • Oooffff patience is a virtue…. very slow getting on here… might be my computer. Just heard this song and felt it was my duty to share πŸ˜‰

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hi there @Ro – don’t know the details of what is wrong with your daughter, but this sounds totally unreasonable. I’m pretty sure I have read that she is in a lot of pain? Any other avenues you could explore? I’m guessing this is through the public health system , which always means waiting BUT they do prioritise serious cases. Yeah, I understand your feelings, hope some good news comes through for you.

    • Hi @song-bird she is in chronic pain with a different issue. She is awaiting extensive jaw surgery and has her second set of braces on. Its because the maxillofacial surgeon down here retired and the SDHB hasn’t replace him, so the surgeons visit from Dunedin. We presumed yesterday we would be given a date, but she isn’t even on the surgery list. I’ll be getting in touch with the orthodontist down here and urging him to sort it out as best he can. The surgeon explained that the operation ranks lower in the scheme of things ( like compared to the funding for heart operations for instance)-even though none of her teeth touch. I also had hoped the proceedure would be done here but it won’t. It’s never good news. Grinds me down. And my kid is already suffering from depression and anxiety. Shit like yesterday just compounds it. Thanks for listening

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hi there @Sober4real , l love them too. There is a lovely You Tube concert, more an intimate gig called The Quay Sessions and I think they sing all their new songs, some older ones too. Highly recommend it if you are a fan x

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    💖 I couldn’t agree more! xx

  • Bless this man, I love him so much. This made me cry, I totally related to every single thing he said.

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    💖 thanks lovely xo

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Lots of love to you @janus2 💖💝💓

    • Healing wishes winging their way to you πŸ™‚
      For vertigo …..search up the Epley Manoeuvre on You Tube ….. can really help πŸ™‚

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    💖thanks x

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    💖thank you x

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    I am okay @morgan , thanks – just coming to terms, well trying to, with both parents gone now. I know many here have done it so I will get there too xxx

    • XXXX it is such a shock in so many different ways. Wish you lived closer πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Who are coming to Australia @janus2? Mumford and sons? If it’s The Lumineers I need to know!!!! xxx

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @ellislou that is a beautiful song, the lyrics are so lovely and such a special dedication to your husband 💕
    Oh wow, I will have a think about the music I love and listen to, kind of changes depending on my moods πŸ˜‰
    Thank you for your lovely thoughts xxx

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    I love it @Mari135, as I do all of their songs. I’ve been missing in inaction – just a very low period, trying to come to terms with the loss of my mother. Not always an easy relationship with her, but it has hit me harder than I thought it would. I’m an orphan now and although I’m in my sixties, there’s still a child in me. Does that make sense?
    I love your posts, you seem wise beyond your years, to me. Thanks for being here xxx

    • oxoxxoxo oh it so makes sense. We all want to be loved and have a “mom”. When I am sick or really low….I wish I had a mom to call and who came and took care of me. It’s in our DNA. Hugs to you, only if you’d like them of course.

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Beautiful words aren’t they? Love The Lumineers x

    • nobody knows how to say good bye, no body knows how the story ends. what wonderful words. not sure i have heard this one, @song-bird. love pete the dragon, of course. another great share, thanks.

    • nobody knows how to say good bye, no body knows how the story ends. what wonderful words. not sure i have heard this one, @song-bird. love pete the dragon, of course. another great share, thanks.

    • Ohh this one I discovered last year same time…spring….maybe because you recommended it? Have been listening to it a TON since then…it reminds me of last spring, which was very special. oxoxoxoxox

      • I love it @Mari135, as I do all of their songs. I’ve been missing in inaction – just a very low period, trying to come to terms with the loss of my mother. Not always an easy relationship with her, but it has hit me harder than I thought it would. I’m an orphan now and although I’m in my sixties, there’s still a child in me. Does that make sense?
        I love your posts, you seem wise beyond your years, to me. Thanks for being here xxx

        • oxoxxoxo oh it so makes sense. We all want to be loved and have a “mom”. When I am sick or really low….I wish I had a mom to call and who came and took care of me. It’s in our DNA. Hugs to you, only if you’d like them of course.

    • Beautiful song @songbird I have been thinking of you we listen to music all day in the pottery and I often think oh I must share that with songbird 💜 this is one I thought of the other day – the song I have dedicated to John since his accident


      One day if you have a chance won’t you send me your favourite groups so I can add it to my play list as it can get repetitive when you listen to it all day
      Lots of.love to you x x

    • Omg i thrashed this to chch way there then the new Mumford c.d way back and its still in playing lol. I am going to their concert when they come nxt year to Australia.

    • Are you all right @song-bird?

      • I am okay @morgan , thanks – just coming to terms, well trying to, with both parents gone now. I know many here have done it so I will get there too xxx

        • XXXX it is such a shock in so many different ways. Wish you lived closer πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Know how it feels, Lotta. Both my husband and myself are now “orphans” and I am still trying to get used to it. It’s painful. Thinking of your family 💕

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    That is so awfully sad for you @kitten , and yes, too much alcohol can do so much damage to our bodies. I think for so many people who drink, they are probably aware of the health risks, but like so many things it’s a case of “well that won’t happen to me”, until it does…

    • thank you, @song-bird – it is the long wait before they die, that is the most depressing, in the wake of death people behave so differently. yes, head in the sand, it won’t happen to me, until it does. …

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    💕 Same to you @Liberty xx

  • It’s one week today. It’s a week that feels as if it’s gone in slow motion. It would be hard to imagine that there is anyone in New Zealand who has not been deeply shaken by what happened. I have kept low, avoided a lot of the media but would have to live under a rock to avoid it totally. I watched a few older youtube clips featuring our Prime Minister and she was so happy and smiley – a stark contrast to this week. I might find the one that made me smile, just because smiles are scarce. Thinking of you @Mrs-d , double the sadness which is so hard. Thinking of everyone here, those of you in Christchurch where there would be no avoiding this tragedy. A sadness sits on our country and I believe it should.

    Happier times

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    💕

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    💖💕 How are you?

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Same age as ours!! 💕

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks lovelies @Mari135 and @enzedgirl x. What type of cat is that @enzedgirl? We have a Ragdoll kitten with the same sort of markings. What a sad time it is…

  • song-bird posted an update 3 months ago

    It’s all been said, reading down the thread – no words left

    The End of the Innocence
    Don Henley
    Remember when the days were long
    And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
    Didn’t have a care in the world
    With mommy and daddy standing by
    When “happily ever after” fails
    And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
    The lawyers dwell on small details
    Since daddy had to fly
    But i know a place where we can go
    That’s still untouched by man
    We’ll sit and watch the clouds roll by
    And the tall grass wave in the wind
    You can lay your head back on the ground
    And let your hair fall all around me
    Offer up your best defense
    But this is the end
    This is the end of the innocence
    O’ beautiful, for spacious skies
    But now those skies are threatening
    They’re beating plowshares into swords
    For this tired old man that we elected king
    Armchair warriors often fail
    And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
    The lawyers clean up all details
    Since daddy had to lie
    But i know a place where we can go
    And was away this sin
    We’ll sit and watch the clouds roll by
    And the tall grass wave in the wind
    Just lay your head back on the ground
    And let your hair spill all around me
    Offer up your best defense
    But this is the end
    This is the end of the innocence
    Who knows how long this will last
    Now we’ve come so far, so fast
    But, somewhere back there in the dust
    That same small town in each of us
    I need to remember this
    So baby give me just one kiss
    And let me take a long last look
    Before we say good bye
    Just lay your head back on the ground
    And let your hair fall all around me
    Offer up your best defense
    But this is the end
    This is the end of the innocence
    Songwriters: Bruce Hornsby / Don Henley
    The End of the Innocence lyrics Β© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
    Feedback

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Nothing like a good cry @tippsytoegal – you will be emotionally and physically exhausted. All that driving, packing, back and forth… crappy weather etc. What a hero. Go with the flow. It’s all you can do. Lots of love to you xxx

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Birds talk to me 💖

    • Ohhh I feel rather special now…a song-bird recommendation as a reply to my post. Yeah πŸ™‚ and my favorite NZ group! (I admit also the only one so far and I should do more research with lame current-charts-and Backstreet Boys-only approach, lol) πŸ™‚ xoxoox thank you!!

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Yes, she was a shitty nurse… my doctor said she’s rather old fashioned… I thought of a few different words πŸ˜‰ I can’t find the piece of paper @delgirl68 … when your mind is a mess, guess what, so is everything else. In my case, anyway. The doctor you saw was not helpful, no. I have sleeping pills which I mostly use – I get so distraught when I don’t sleep. I fucking love my bed and on bad days that’s where I hang out. It’s not good, I know… but it’s true. Stay up till 3 a.m. ??? Ah shit. Come on now. I’m sorry. Not sleeping is rough. Listening to music is my go to… headphones on and I go to sleep, mostly. But, as I say, I do have medication if it doesn’t work. Lots of love to you x

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Yep, @delgirl68 and @timidwarrior this is my life too… depression and anxiety haunt me and lately (since my mother died) I have had some very scary moments as well, it’s truly awful and debilitating . I just want a NORMAL FUCKING life so I can do things that most people do, without a second thought. I have seen my GP but i have days when I feel I am not going to get through them, and go from tears to anger to despair. Awful. My GP wrote down an Australian website for me to have a look at and I lost the piece of paper and also the prescription he wrote me. I rang the nurse who obviously thought I was a drug lord and told me I was careless and to have a harder look πŸ™ Luckily my doctor range me who was a lot more sympathetic and said, don’t worry, shit happens. God bless him.
    It’s comforting to know there are others here who deal with such things, I often wondered about a sub group for the anxious and depressed amongst us? xxx

    • Yes – I just want to be like a “normal” person! What a shitty nurse, very nice of the dr to ring you back. Was the website helpful? And if so, what was it?
      I went to see a dr. She wasn’t interested in talking about anything other than my sleep. With the suggestion I stay up until 3 am (the time I usually wake up). And then work backwards in 30 minute increments of going to bed earlier. Oh and she said don’t stay in bed when you wake up. “the bed is for sleeping only”. Apparently she has science to back this but I thought it was a load of dribble.

      • Yes, she was a shitty nurse… my doctor said she’s rather old fashioned… I thought of a few different words πŸ˜‰ I can’t find the piece of paper @delgirl68 … when your mind is a mess, guess what, so is everything else. In my case, anyway. The doctor you saw was not helpful, no. I have sleeping pills which I mostly use – I get so distraught when I don’t sleep. I fucking love my bed and on bad days that’s where I hang out. It’s not good, I know… but it’s true. Stay up till 3 a.m. ??? Ah shit. Come on now. I’m sorry. Not sleeping is rough. Listening to music is my go to… headphones on and I go to sleep, mostly. But, as I say, I do have medication if it doesn’t work. Lots of love to you x

    • I’m in!!!! We can do this ❤

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Definitely @Lee@ – GP is excellent starting point. Went to mine in tears and was much like you, just down and out and broken. They must see it oh so often. Please do get some help x

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    My son is very excited, too πŸ˜€

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    🧡

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Very funny, indeed πŸ˜€

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Aww Lotta, lots of love to you. Life can hurl amazingly sad stuff at us, it’s part of being human and the price of loving. If we didn’t care it wouldn’t hurt ❤

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    It’s absolutely my pleasure @kitten πŸ˜€

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Your first week, that’s very significant. Congratulations to you!

  • song-bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Nothing but heart felt sympathy for this person xxx

  • His lyrics!
    I love this man, he’s so non typical of an amazing musician – shy and awkward when interviewed, obviously hating every minute of it. Love that he has shunned the bright lights and he does what he loves and he has enough fans to keep him going… even if he didn’t, I suspect he would find a way to make it work without buying in to all the bullshit

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