Hi - My name is Cathy. I'm a mom to 2 wonderful boys ages 14 and 8. I also have a stepson who is 13. I live on the East Coast of the United States. I've been a high functioning alcoholic for many years now. But I'm tired. I'm tired of being a prisoner to this disease and I want to live a better, healthier, sober life. I've read Mrs. D's book and am very grateful to have found this wonderful online community which provides support nearly 24 hours a day. Turning my life around - one day at a time.
Plugging along – had a terrible fitful restless sleep last night, but it STILL feels better to wake up tired than with a hangover. Seriously I think i only got about 4-5 hours last night, maybe all the sleep i’m doing during the weekend is messing me up? I think i just couldn’t turn my mind off last night. My thoughts went to when i would pass out after wine and how ‘good’ it would feel until i would wake up a few hours later, sweating, thirsty, anxiety ridden and just feeling like absolute garbage!! I don’t want to do that to myself anymore. That polar vortex that @robyn spoke about is coming my way tomorrow and Thursday. 50 days till spring. happy day friends!
Have a cup of a “Sleepy” tea…there are many out there and they really do work! There are also essential oil sprays – I use lavender – for your pillow…pretty wonderful. Have a book by your bed to pick up and read when you do wake up…will put you back to sleep 🙂
I think thats one of the reasons I would drink so much. I just wanted to fall asleep. You’re right though, after a few hours you wake up feeling awful and never get back to sleep so the morning is the worst! I just keep thinking about that. Hope you get some rest tonight! xoxo
Hi @mari135 – i gave up social media for nearly a month and i loved every minute of it!! Unfortunately i needed to get back on because my kids schools post important info re: closures, 1/2 days etc. It’s amazing how damaging social media can be to those of us who are prone to depressive waves. I hope you have a wonderful day, friend!
HI all – just a quick check in – dad’s surgery went well, hopeful we can start chemo treatments within the next few weeks. Quiet weekend at home with my boys. Fought the wine witch a lot saturday night, mostly from just boredom. Ended up just going to bed. I swear, I sleep so much now.
I’m so happy for your Dad! How do you feel now? Boredom gets me , too. I picked up a couple of things I can focus on but put down quickly when I get interrupted. Adult coloring, cross stitch, Angry Birds. I can’t read during these times because I get pissed when I get interrupted. Have a great day, friend!
Glad to hear about your Dad. Sleep heals. It even makes us thinner 🙂 🙂 🙂 I wish I could get enough. Crazy work, and so much a night owl, have to have my reading time – and pop in here, which can turn out looooong
@maryh – i read recently that the first thing we should do upon waking up is a drink a tall glass of water. After sleeping for 8 hours (hopefully) our bodies are naturally dehydrated. I’ve been doing this this past week and I’m notice that i feel a bit better. Have a great work out!!
Good advice! I do need to drink more water, but I sometimes find it boring so it takes extra effort. I’m trying to find other options that are hydrating, yet have some flavor without a lot of sugar. I’ll add lemon to the water or drink La Croix. Any other suggestions?
I’m with @sobermommy, drink a full glass of water when you wake up. Early on water didn’t do it for me although I’m a big water drinker. So water with lime rather than lemon, diet cranberry and soda, iced decaf coffees, and now diet gingerale with cranberry. You are doing fantastic at your conference!
I think as long as you are taking vitamins and drinking lots of water your body will regulate itself. i don’t know much about l-glutamine, unfortunately. But I do know that after years of shit in our systems, it’s going to take a bit for us to get back to normal. I don’t even remember what normal feels like.
I just won’t go down that road. I was fortunate enough to be able to climb out of a problem, caused by an addiction / dependency that will at times try to lure me back. Make no mistake, I was drunk nearly every night, and at times a danger on the highway. I do not miss that. I like these words from @mrs-d from her blog post 26 July 2018: “First and foremost; be honest with yourself. You know the truth about your alcohol habit and what sort of struggle you have with it. You know if it’s a problem. Don’t hide from the truth and don’t kid yourself that there’s another reality lurking around the corner, one in which you are a happy moderate drinker savouring amazing glasses of wine while being blissfully happy. If that’s not your reality with alcohol now it never will be.”
Happy Friday to us in the US! I’ve been re-reading Annie Grace’s The Naked Mind and came across this wonderful tidbit and couldn’t wait to share with you: Alcohol is a physical depressant that poisons your body and ensnares your brain. It destroys you physically and mentally. It deadens your senses, thereby deadening all your survival instincts. It takes the happiness of this beautiful life with it. YES YES 1000 times YES! My dad is having surgery this afternoon to remove part of his prostate, which will hopefully lead to him receiving his chemo treatments. I’m a lot calmer than what I would’ve been in the past, but positive thoughts are always welcome. Have a great day everyone and stay away from the poison that deadens us!
Sending positive thoughts and prayers for your dad @sobermommy1013! You have so much going on, hope you can find some time for yourself this weekend! Knowing that booze only adds to my stress really helps me too!
Thank you… Yes I am trying to cut back but if I do it too quickly I will start going mental again, but if I don’t cut back I will go mental again.. At the moment I am between a rock and a hard place… I have cut back since I started working, but it’s always in my mind if I start hearing things.. (if that makes sense)
((HUGS)) @morgan – i am actually anxious after reading your post so I cannot imagine how you feel LIVING it….I’m so sorry. Are you able to sit somewhere quiet and do some deep breathing? Maybe a quick 5 minute mediation? Something to center and bring you back?
@morgan thinking of you during this difficult time. Your post retraumatized me……praying for peace for you. I’ll go with gratitude hour any day. That sets me up for success. Work is so stressful sometimes!
Hi and thanks for the shout out!! I am currently sitting in my hospital room waiting to be discharged after a very unexpected and stressful 3 day stay!! Will post more soon when I’m home at my computer, but I am grateful to say I’m still sober, and my health scare was a lot easier to deal with knowing that I have been alcohol free for 50+ days!! 💗🙏
Welcome again and congrats on 15 days!! You’ve been past a big hurdle and opening up isn’t easy. Sounds like your friend is really struggling, as so many of us do. I understand feeling betrayed and worried, but my advice would be to just focus on YOU and your journey. Unless you feel like that child is in imminent danger, then of course, you should tell the proper authorities. You are in the right place, friend. You will receive tons of support and love here. xo
@luluD – i like this idea!!! I am going to start that today, i have so much negative self talk and most times when i talk to my sister or friends about it they help me see that i’m being completely exaggerated. The column idea will help for sure! thank you for this!!
He says 15 min a day for 2 weeks. At that point it should become a little more automatic. I’m usually too shamed of my negative self talk to bring it up to my friends. Honestly with things as bad as they’ve been I’ve had a hard time just reaching out to friends. I’m hoping this will kick that negative self talk in the ass!
This too shall pass…i’ve said this a few times on here today and this has been my motto for the last few weeks….i’m even thinking of having it tattooed somewhere on my body. Such a simple saying but it packs so much hope. It tells me that no matter how bad things seem now, it’s not forever. it will pass. the bad marriage, the fights, the fucked up kid who smokes too much pot, the cancer stricken dad, the terrible job, the alcohol craving….it will all pass. So when things feel hopeless and you’re about to cave please hold onto the hope that it will pass. Love to you all today.
Sending lots of love to you too @sobermommy1013 Yup it will pass I am also trying to be open and soften my heart while in it too and then when it passes hopefully we will be better equipped to enjoy it x x
You blow me away with your strength honey – here you are with SO much on your plate and what you’re thinking about is how can I offer hope to others today? So grateful for the “this will pass” reminder and grateful for your caring sharing. Xxx
Stay strong @Sobermommy1013! On September 30, 1859, Abraham Lincoln recounted: “It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: “And this, too, shall pass away.” How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!”
@sobermommy1013@kjpeche – I loved that book so much and helped me in the first few months, that I am now listening to the audio book and feel like I am still learning something new. Thinking I am going to listen to it 1x quarter or 2x year. Her podcasts and Youtube are helpful too
Good luck and please be careful. A restraining order is just a piece of paper, so please keep your eyes and ears open!! Stay strong and fight those cravings…you will be of no use to yourself tomorrow with a massive hangover. xo
Sounds like an exciting time for you!!! I wish you the best of luck! New opportunities may seem scary at first, but they also push us out of our comfort zone and that’s when we grow. I wish I had a cat sitting on my lap right now!! It’s freezing in my office.
@clearrainbow – sorry that happened to you – i probably would’ve left too. I remember at one meeting and old timer mentioned how the first of january brings all the newbies and they all have bets on how long they will last. Definitely not a good environment for someone looking for support. I’ve always found the beginner meetings most welcome and accommodating. Luckily there is one right up the street from my job. They tend to be kinder to newbies. Hope you find another meeting soon. xoxo
I like this idea of a reason a day – if that’s what you’re going for. I think i may incorporate that instead of actually counting days as well (which lately puts me into a tailspin as well). Just for today, @frog.