I forgot how awesome 400+ days of alcohol freedom felt. I Just Simply Forgot. I forgot to be grateful. I forgot to be thankful. I forgot to be proud. I forgot to take care of my mind, my body, my spirit. I forgot to be mindful. I forgot to treasure each moment. I forgot how terrible it felt to feel nothing. I forgot the misery of being ashamed. I forgot the feelings of guilt and lying. I forgot that I mattered. I forgot I was important. I forgot to love myself. I forgot to hold on tight. I forgot to not let go. I forgot not to give up. I forgot that I am awesome and courageous. So after 400+ AF days I started drinking again on and off for a few months. And then one day I remembered everything I forgot ... and I simply forgave myself for my forgetfulness and decided I wanted to be happy again. So I got sober.
And now, as of today May 31, 2017, it makes me proud to remember that out of the last 986 days I have been alcohol free for well over 900 of them and intend to stay that way. :) ❤
Hello sweet thing! I’m fine and dandy – just busy, busy, busy. My husband retired a few months ago and we’re learning a new way to live. It’s a bit strange to be together all day every day and we’re loving it. Thank you for thinking of me. xxx
Your strength and resilience over these past several years have amazed me. You have fought many battles, both emotionally and physically, and have been victorious. But, ummmmm, knitting? Really? That’s really brave of you!! Hipster Janus with knitting needles! Beware! Post a picture of your finished product. As for your family – you will do fine. You will be fine. Chin up. Be proud. xxx
🙂 My favorite from Meredith: “Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”
@burno1976 I’ve done basically the same as Seedy. I’ve kept my orange site box running to remind me how long I’ve been on this journey. I have a separate app that I use to track my sober days after my short relapse. Do what ever works for you and makes you feel comfortable. Peace.
Awww @janus2 that just sucks! I don’t have a magic wand darlin’ but I’ll be praying that the universe sprinkle you with some healing fairy dust. I hope you decide to share what’s going on with your fellow. It’s been a long 3 years since we’ve been following each other on this site and you have shown such admirable strength and determination as you’ve stood and faced many storms over the years. I have no doubt that you’ll persevere now as well. But you don’t need to do it alone – let your man help you. xxx Peace.
Congratulations and I hope he doesn,t become a fixture at the computer. 2nd year of “retirement” and the gender role changes are not entirely progressive. Still, I,m grateful for lots of things especially that spring is here. Good luck with that.
I honestly attempt at least one look through daily just to try to keep up – so many new avatars! I rarely post anything as life is going very well but I’m sure it would be rather uninteresting to others. You take good care of yourself sweet lady! You are a special person!!! ☯♡☯♡
Hello my far away friend! I’m actually doing quit well these days. My husband retired 4 weeks ago and we have been going through some major life adjustments – all good. Just finding our groove. It feels pretty weird but we’ll settle in soon I’m sure. Strange and wonderful not having to march to the beat of someone else’s drumming. Grateful I’m enjoying all of this time sober! ♡♡♡ Thank you for thinking of me.
Just wanted to update that my elderly mother has been able to return home after the hurricane and she is doing well. There are no phone lines and water must be boiled for drinking, but unlike many, many others she was fortunate that her house survived the storm with very little damage. ♡
Yes! I also enjoy L.R. Knost. I try to remember this in the late evenings: “When you’re lying in bed at night and regrets from the day come to steal your sleep… “I should have” “If only I’d” “I wish I’d” …grab one of them and turn it into an “I will” and sleep peacefully knowing tomorrow will be a better day.” ― L.R. Knost
I wrote long post to you re: my mother and husband but I deleted it (on purpose). I just want to say this: @Morgan, my far away friend. YES!, Go you – you’re still sober. Me too! It has been a joy being on this journey these past few years. You have such a caring heart and I thank you for thinking about me and mine. ♡
That sounds like quite an awful experience with a bunch of rude, inconsiderate assholes who are intimidated by your strength and sobriety. And you know what? You survived without drinking! Awesome! When you dry your tears remember that you’re the one who’s not going to feel hungover in the morning❗
Thanks @soberlynn . Feel i am doimg so well . I havent reacted to anything but the bottling up has just got too much . I think i am going to bow out of any meals planned which i know is tuesday night with the obnoxious couple . I will make up an excuse and do what I feel is right for me . . And yes i will not be hungover but o am going to spend the next couple is days catching up on my sleep xx
Conquering your struggle to remain sober will be the greatest gift you can give to yourself and your mother while she battles terminal lung cancer. You won’t look back with regret for not having been fully present for the both of you. Sending you cyber vibes for your strength during this most difficult time.
@chardano – sometimes it helps a bit to simply know we’re not alone and we have a safe place to share our struggles. I’m thankful we can be here for one another in good times as well as difficult times. ♡✝
“‘Dopamine’ is about finding life’s inspiration and passion through love,” Willis tells AXS. “It’s about my journey from self-medication to self-love and it’s about the beauty and strength of vulnerability.”