• sobere posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Sounds like your may, was my april. I had 22 AF days back then, then backslid, and it was a shit show. I hear you on how hard it is to get AF traction after slipping. Back on the horse, and better to stay there. The view is a whole lot better, for sure..

  • sobere posted an update 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Don’t really know this author, but it seemed wise, and I liked it. “Every day is a fresh start for you. Every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.”
    ― Juansen Dizon

  • sobere posted an update 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    @Lee@ thanks for your reply. I edited my message, but your reply got through. Yes, listening to the heart is a good way to go, for sure. The head seems to be a liar (for me at least). Cheers.

  • sobere posted an update 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Hello Livingsoberians. It’s been over a month since I’ve been here, with a 22 day AF streak at the time. Things aren’t so great now – (back to the sober weekdays, drunken weekends bullshit). Thought I’d share the last message from @Kitten regarding ‘moderation’. Her message seemed/seems wise, almost poetic even. Hope you don’t mind Kitten..

    “I was dreaming about moderation when I woke up this morning.
    Moderation, for me is a sham, i am one that gets the taste and the
    addiction beast builds in me until that is all i am, the addiction
    beast, it is slow, like a dab of watercolor in the middle of water and
    then it just spreads, like i have one drink, one night, then maybe one
    two drinks the next and then maybe two days later, four, cause i like
    being drunk so, the for me the question is not should i moderate, but
    More like, should I start drinking again? If i do, I start smoking,
    if Ido, then i resign myself to feeling like shit every day and some
    day are better than other hangover days. i guess what saves me every
    time is the same – i don’t want a hangover. what saves you from
    picking up again? even just last night? what was it? best.”

    • Hey Sobere .having sober week days is great .thanks for sharing your thoughts

    • @sobere, glad you’re back on track! I wrestle with moderation as well when I am an active drinker. True for many That is a spot on description of me as well by @kitten. I read a reply from @daveh last night of ways to stop the madness of drinking. They were excellent words of advice. Many peeps on here say one leads to ten. Very very true. Do whatever it takes not to sip even the one!

    • @sobere – you know I am always so glad to see you here. a 22 days streak is better than having drank all of those nights. i do not remember writing that, but it sounds like me, i hate a hangover, it is really what has kept me sober. I felt a bit off the last few days, heat in mid to high 90s unexpectedly, not even close to hangover status, but i was like ooo this feels a tad like a hangover and i hate it. geez, how did i live for all of those years, sick on the daily. @sobere you can do this, i know you can. add up how much AF days and how much not for the last year and then next year, make it more AF days. i chose AF everyday because i have to, but some seem to be able to dabble back and forth and come out with a high AF count. SO GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

    • Yep so true @kitten! Moderation is a bad arse rabbit hole. A lier and a thief of time and energy! ❤️❤️

    • thank you for that – I missed that @Kitten – great description! I have lately stopped my 1 ciggie a day and feel a huge sense of relief – so like my moderate drinking – a kind of worrying misery

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @kitten. It does feel great, but I’m a little afraid that I’ll start to take it for granted, or thinking that I can moderate. Moderation always ends up badly for me. Hope you’re doing well.

    • @sobere, i was dreaming about moderation when I woke up this morning. Moderation, for me is a sham, i am one that gets the taste and the addiction beast builds in me until that is all i am, the addiction beast, it is slow, like a dab of watercolor in the middle of water and then it just spreads, like i have one drink, one night, then maybe one two drinks the next and then maybe two days later, four, cause i like being drunk so, the for me the question is not should i moderate, but More like, should I start drinking again? If i do, I start smoking, if Ido, then i resign myself to feeling like shit every day and some day are better than other hangover days. i guess what saves me every time is the same – i don’t want a hangover. what saves you from picking up again? even just last night? what was it. best.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @Jesss

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @Mari135

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @k1W1

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

  • sobere posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 18 alcohol-free. Made it through my 3rd weekend, but had some pretty bad cravings on saturday. I’ve read once that the original Apollo moonshots had to use up to 80% of their fuel just to break free of the Earths’ atmosphere, and after that it was smooth sailing. Hopefully, that’s the case for me now. I feel good, and don’t want to take it for granted. This is about the point where I slipped the last time. The mindset of ‘one day at a time’ helps. Have a great day

    • You too, you are doing brilliantly!

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      Well done, how right you are, one day at a time and I like the saying just for today.

    • 18 days is amazing!!
      oxoxox
      And I lapsed right around then once too. Then again at day 70-80 or so, and day 140-180 or so. I never wrote down when exactly but have rough numbers in mind that I associate with lapsing.
      Just today.
      That’s all.
      Just today.

      Let’s not worry about “forever” or tomorrow.
      Today is enough.

      oxxoxox

    • I like your analogy @sobere!

    • congrats @sobere, it must feel great waking every morning without a hangover, yeah?

      • Thanks @kitten. It does feel great, but I’m a little afraid that I’ll start to take it for granted, or thinking that I can moderate. Moderation always ends up badly for me. Hope you’re doing well.

        • @sobere, i was dreaming about moderation when I woke up this morning. Moderation, for me is a sham, i am one that gets the taste and the addiction beast builds in me until that is all i am, the addiction beast, it is slow, like a dab of watercolor in the middle of water and then it just spreads, like i have one drink, one night, then maybe one two drinks the next and then maybe two days later, four, cause i like being drunk so, the for me the question is not should i moderate, but More like, should I start drinking again? If i do, I start smoking, if Ido, then i resign myself to feeling like shit every day and some day are better than other hangover days. i guess what saves me every time is the same – i don’t want a hangover. what saves you from picking up again? even just last night? what was it. best.

  • sobere posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 15. Feeling good, sleep has improved. Had a bad craving last night, but went for a long evening walk, came home ate something, drank kombucha and went to bed. The thoughts of alcohol are still there, which is pretty annoying and tiresome. Determined to make it through my 3rd AF weekend coming up. Have a nice day. 🙂

    • Day 15 for me too!
      Annoying & tiresome is a good way to describe thoughts of alcohol.

    • Make friends with that feeling – I am coming up to 5 years (I think) and at times it hits strongly, other times sneakily … it is a HUGE part of our culture, enormous, so will be with us in various ways forever, especially if we move in circles where it is always present, or worshipped

    • good to see you here, @sobere. great distraction yesterday, walk, kombucha, bed. keep on.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Buckeyeone. Good to see you also.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

  • sobere posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 11. Feeling pretty good. It’s taken me awhile to get some AF traction again. I’m slowly getting better at dealing with cravings, and observing them until they pass. Although, it would be nice not to have alcohol thoughts that randomly keep popping up. It’s pretty annoying and tiresome, but I’m trying not to look into the future and taking it one day, and trigger/craving at a time. Have a nice day.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @Liberty

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

  • sobere posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Day 10. Feeling grateful, and hangover-free. Have a great day. 🙂

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Liberty. I was running to the gym, or else taking long walks in the evenings. I was also having an early dinner, AF drinks, and then to bed early most nights. Pretty mad at myself, but just have to jump back on the sober coaster.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks for the shout out @Liberty. Not so great, lost my 17 day streak, and then proceeded to have beers the last three days. Sadly, back on Day 1 today. Was feeling so good too.

    • You’ll feel good again @sobere, day 1 is another day without booze & each one is precious. What’s the plan for when you get to trigger time today?

      • Thanks @Liberty. I was running to the gym, or else taking long walks in the evenings. I was also having an early dinner, AF drinks, and then to bed early most nights. Pretty mad at myself, but just have to jump back on the sober coaster.

      • It’s such a frustrating learning curve isn’t it @sobere. But you can do it again. Prepare prepare. 🙂 Let us know how it goes today?

    • You never ‘lose’ any sober days @sobere – in fact you can even count them in, the counter is for you. Some people take 3 days off, or just add x days – y if writing about their achievement. Congratulations on your 17 days !!!!! Celebrate them, and now add to them?

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Liberty

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @SandyB

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Clowance

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @gage

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @SteveF

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    I’m hoping to visit family, but your plan sounds good too. Calm and quiet is always a good thing.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @DaveH. I see what you’re saying. When I went to the hockey game, I made a conscious decision not to drink because I knew beer was going to be all around me, and got a Coca cola in my hand right away. When I went to the music fest, I didn’t think about not drinking ahead of time, and I suppose it did surprise me that I drank.

  • sobere posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    My AF streak has ended at 17 days. It was such a nice day here in Tucson, and had a great time at the big Folk music festival today. I was enjoying such a great band, and gave in with two microbrews. I don’t exactly know why, because I’ve been feeling really great sober. I also recently attended a hockey game amongst all the beer swillers there in attendance and did fine, but something about live music triggered me. I guess I start again. I suppose my crazy subconscious mind went into overdrive mode. My 50th B-day is this August, and I really want to be sober for it

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Congrats on Day 13 @DaveS!

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @Mari135. I appreciate it. Feeling good. Have a nice day!

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Love this quote @Manatee. So true.

    • There is a lot of good here. I am trying to figure it out. I am trying to get what is necessary done. Thanks :-).

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hope you’re doing ok @timidwarrior. You can get back on track.

  • sobere posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 15. I get regular emails from Annie Grace, and just received one about ‘motion vs action’. She said that early on, motion is joining AF groups, reading books, etc, while ‘action’ is putting it to use in the real world. I recently went to a pro hockey game and had a coke instead of a beer, for probably the first time in 20 years. Even though it seems trivial, it felt good making a conscious decision not to drink amongst all the beer swillers there in attendance. Thanks for listening, have a good day.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @kitten. Here’s the link that Dave H gave me. You can download it from there. Have a great day. https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/alcoholism-in-a-nutshell/

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @JM. I appreciate it.

  • sobere posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 14. Feeling good and hangover-free. I’m currently reading Dave H’s book, ‘Alcoholism in a nutshell’ which is really good. Practicing Yoga again, after about 4 months of not doing it. Not in yoga-shape yet, but working on it. Have a nice AF day! 🙂

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @DaveH for the great advice. I read the amazon preview of your book ‘Alcoholism in a nutshell’. I really enjoyed it, and am going to buy it and read it. Thanks again.

  • sobere posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Currently on Day 4, feeling good and hangover free. Going to see the US Air Force ‘Thunderbirds’ at the Tucson air show today. I saw them perform a few years ago, and they blew my mind. So graceful, and powerful. I know I’ll be tempted to get a beer during the show, but I’ll be drinking Coca-cola this time around. Have a great AF day…

    • Hey @sobere, you asked about Smart Recovery the other day. I don’t know if that’s the same as Rational Recovery but janus2 and Ro both found that useful. Have fun at the show.

    • Hi @sobere You know “I’ll be tempted” and that’s as much as you need to know. When it comes then simply recognise it, acknowledge it, and tell it it can leave again… you’re not interested. You’re doing well but also know that you are on the very trickiest days right now. Your mind will be going off about having a drink, but push back. You are not drinking because this is what has to happen. Day 4 tripped me many times… hang on in there and you’re be at a week before you know it.

    • You too lovely! ❤️

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thank you @malibustacey. I’m trying. I appreciate the link.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thinking of you Mrs. D. Yes! Yoga all the way. Saved my life once, I believe. It works.

  • sobere posted an update 3 months ago

    Hello all. Hope everyone is doing well in NZ. I saw the beautiful memorial to the victims on the US national news. Even though I did OK in February with 20 AF days, I’m not gonna lie, March has been a shit show so far for me with Alcohol. I’m not an AA person, but respect them, and haven’t yet read DaveH’s ebook that he was kind enough to share with me. I’ve been to a few AA meetings in the past, but don’t think it’s a good fit. Has anyone had any experience with SMART recovery? I’ve heard a lot of good things, and am thinking that I need the extra support. Have a great day.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @DaveH. I really appreciate it. I’ll definitely read it.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks for this great post @DaveH. Very insightful and helpful.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks for your nice words @Liberty. It feels like the time to quit is now for me. I realize that moderation never worked for me, and never will.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    thanks @MissFreedom. I want that peace more than anything.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    thanks Lee@.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @WakingOwl.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @Clowance.

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @AnneC for your nice post. I know moderation is a major lie for me. I suppose you’re right, it’s never too late to quit. I think DaveH once said something like, “the best day to quit was 20 years ago. The next best day is today.”

  • sobere posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks for your post. Congrats on Day 1095!

    • welcome sobere, i see you having some very significant mental conversations about the whole subject, so awesome 🙂

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