• SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 8 hours, 29 minutes ago

    Sansa well done, days like these are particularly hard but it gets a little easier and they become less often.
    Have strategies ready for these days it really helps
    One day at a time keep strong x

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 8 hours, 31 minutes ago

    MissyC this group is amazing for support, we can all do this together, good luck

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    I feel stronger every week I complete thank you for your support xx

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Thank you that’s what I try to do, I’m on holiday and made friends with 3 other families that are all drinking and I’ve stayed sober but the peer pressure wAs immense and the question of “what forever” kept popping up and it wobbles me a bit but I’ve survived and not drank xx

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 4 days, 6 hours ago

    Ouch that sounds terribly painful. I hope you get it sorted soon x

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 4 days, 6 hours ago

    Congratulations what an achievement 👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • Hi Guys
    I hope all are doing well on this sober journey. I’m proud to say I’ve hit 8 weeks since I last posted and this is the longest I’ve not drank since I was 19 years old(I hit 40 this year). My dream at the start was to make it 66 days because I read somewhere that it takes 66 days for our brains to recognise habit changes as the new normal.
    I definitely don’t think about alcohol as often but I know it’s their lurking on my shoulder, whispering in my ear.
    Is anyone else scared at the thought of FOREVER. I can’t bring myself to think like that. I just keep extending the goal post.
    First was a week, then a month, then the summer holidays then the 66 day mark and now I’m aiming for Christmas.
    Any sober warriors on here that feel confident saying FOREVER

    • Hi soberbrightongirl 😊 first, huge congrats on 8 weeks!

      Second, I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable or scared about the idea of never, ever drinking again. If that’s the case, it doesn’t help. Hence the saying “one day at a time”.

      For me, I am 3+ years in and I feel reasonably comfortable with the idea that I don’t intend to drink again. I’ve never thought about it as forever, because I guess that feels like a bit too much. Maybe I can’t believe, even after more than three years, that I need to be alcohol free for the rest of my life.

      I’m being very honest here. I hope it doesn’t scare you. I know there are people here who are unshakeable in their belief and intention that they will never drink again. End of story.

      I think, for you, for now, doing exactly what you are doing is working for you. Setting goals, working towards them, achieving them, setting new goals. Brilliant 😊👍🏼

    • I am not an AA member, nor have I ever attended their meetings, but I do really believe that we can only focus on one day at a time. Be present at the moment and do not worry too much about the future. It was the worry about the future that got me every single time.. You can do this!

      • Thank you that’s what I try to do, I’m on holiday and made friends with 3 other families that are all drinking and I’ve stayed sober but the peer pressure wAs immense and the question of “what forever” kept popping up and it wobbles me a bit but I’ve survived and not drank xx

      • I feel stronger every week I complete thank you for your support xx

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Take one day at a time, you’ve got this even when some days feel impossible
    Soon there will be more good than bad,
    @jjr believe in yourself and be kind to yourself you are not alone

  • I went out on my first sober night out last night and survived. It’s taken 54 days to even consider this. I had a brilliant time but I’m glad I waited for my resolve to be strong enough. Also picking the right friends who support me was a big help. One chose not to drink and the other only had one. At some point I said how nice a glass of wine would be and they both said NO you are doing so good let’s eat pudding instead.
    No hangover this morning and at the gym at 5.45am
    Today I feel like I’m winning ❤️

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Welcome Karin11 this is a great group for support x

    • Thank you so much. On day one today for the hundredth time. I know today isn’t all that hard but around day 3-4 is when the cravings really kick in.

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    I came on here to see how you’ve got on today Peter, stay strong tonight you’ve got this. Filling time is my biggest challenge too I think I’m bankrupt from buying books to read
    I’ll look forward to hearing you success in the morning xx

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    @jocord that’s amazing I can’t wait for the day to say I’ve done a year 👏👏👏👏bravo to you what an inspiration

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Well done this amazing I hit day 50 today and the clear head is worth every moment of doubt. Keep going Lucy we’ve got this

  • So my anxiety has hit a massive high this week and it’s taken all the will in the world not to open some wine as I know deep down it will make tomorrow worse and the descending spiral will begin. So I went to the health food store and purchased some CBD oil drops. I’m concerned that I’m replacing one drug for another but I got it in a health food store. Has anyone tried this does it work? Or am I failing? I know I need to work out the cause of my excessive anxiety and I’m going to a psychiatrist as they think it’s ADHD but until then and theres a long waiting list I’m struggling. Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated, I really don’t want to drink but the anxiety is crippling

    • sorry to hear the anxiety is getting to you. I suffer from anxiety also, and went back to drinking this year after a stressful few weeks. It has been hard to stop. I went to the Dr and got some lorazepam, I know it is highly addictive, I have split the tablets into quarters, and that takes the edge off. I only need it once every three or four days, and just having them available makes me less anxious, as I don’t worry about becoming anxious. I don’t like taking drugs, but just knowing it’s there for a rough day has been a huge benefit for me. I am seeing a counsellor as well, but sometimes talking about the stuff I’ve been through this year just makes me feel more anxious, so I don’t necessarily think that works. I feel like I probably have ADHD as well, so we are probably both quite similar in why we like a wine. I know for me, I feel totally calm, relaxed, and like my mind just shuts down (in a good way). I am not feeling even remotely addicted to the lorazepam, it is the wine that was still my go to. I also tried St Johns wort, I do not recommend it for anxiety. It is for depression – I found out the hard way it made my panic attacks worse!! It was horrible. Your anxiety might be hormone related – if you’ve been stressed/anxious for a while it can end up giving you adrenal fatigue, which leaves everything out of balance. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve been dealing with. There are some good adrenal fatigue products on the market (Dr Wilsons Adrenal fatigue). They’re expensive, but worked so well on me in the past.

      • Valerian has always worked well for me try Holland and Barrett and buy a high dose, if they don’t work they should not make you feel bad. I’ve not had much help with counselling but a cup of coffee with a good friend and a chat has worked wonders, more fun, loads cheaper and friends come up with good ideas and insights cos they know you.They are also sympathetic and can validate how you feel which I find helps.Take care @SoberBrightongirl xx

        • I recently started taking the herbal supplement, Valerian root. It is helping me with the anxious and jittery feelings in the evenings. @MaryPP
          Hope you can find a safe and helpful solution.

    • CBD has no psychoactive compounds, you can not get high from it.

    • To my knowledge, CBD oil isn’t addictive.

    • CBD can help. Yoga and walking – breaking a sweat help me more than anything. Hang in there.

    • CBD is not addictive, I don’t think you are making a mistake in giving it a try. When I was back at home in the states I would take one small hit of actual pot before bedtime to help me sleep and it did. When I moved I couldn’t bring any with me and I had no addictive feelings or behavior toward it, I literally forgot I used to take a hit daily, tbh – so I really wouldn’t worry. As an aside – I realized after giving up drinking that the reason I needed pot to help me sleep was BECAUSE OF BOOZE. How sad is that? I am now booze free and no longer smoking pot and I sleep just fine and feel more rested then I have in over a decade.

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    What an amazing achievement @Jess you are stronger than you believe, keep going and lean on us
    Lots of love and strength sent your way

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @happy2019 and to you x

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Very local then. It’s tealky tough to start with but the cravings gain more distance. Keep logging on to here it’s amazing support and helps avoid those trigger moments

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Keep going, the first week is the hardest and remember alcohol is the only drug you have to explain why you are not taking. Be kind to yourself it’s bloody hard giving up the booze it’s totally addictive and socially acceptable. Invest in some books like “mummy was a secret drinker” or the “unexpected joys of being sober” they do help you change your thoughts of drinking
    You can do this @elais

  • I love this community just as I was thinking of giving up, I stumbled on this and my motivation has taken a huge leap.
    It’s utterly brilliant and I no longer feel alone in this journey that has felt at times like wading through treacle 49 days today

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Congratulations @Prudence what an exciting time for you

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Thank you all your words mean a lot and help more than you can imagine

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    I’m also in England but the support has been amazing
    Well done Peter let’s keep doing it from this side of the pond

    • Thanks SoberBrightongirl. I also live in Sussex, near Haywards Heath.
      Best wishes, Peter

      • Very local then. It’s tealky tough to start with but the cravings gain more distance. Keep logging on to here it’s amazing support and helps avoid those trigger moments

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    I love the thought of sober tools I use them too and like the idea of giving them a name
    I felt like this yesterday and the wine witch nearly persuaded me to just have a glass I’m glad I didn’t. Let’s keep doing this Lucy

    • @lucy I have a sixteen year old son. Mostly we get along really well, but I find every now and then things go off the rails.
      Here in NZ we had a wonderful champion of boys growing into men called Celia Lashlie.
      I recommend you hunt out her book ‘He’ll Be Ok’.
      She also has wonderful online resources including podcasts about teenage boys and how to understand them a little better.
      There’s also a wonderful documentary about her simply entitled ‘Celia’.
      She passed away and this is around her work on men in prisons, domestic violence and prison reform.
      Your son is growing into the man he will be.
      Some of that involves the natural separation from you.
      He’s new to this, so it’s going to be clumsy at times, on both sides

      Great podcasts on RNZ
      https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/ninetonoon/collections/parenting-boys-the-celia-lashile-collection

    • And here’s the link to Celia’s homepage and book.
      I re-read it very few years.
      Being a parent is hard!
      I keep telling my son, I’m doing my best but making this up as I go!
      I also tell him every day that I love him, and I try and hug him at least 5 times a week.
      He ‘tolerates’ this but I think he actually likes it. A lot.
      https://www.celialashlie.nz/boys-work#work

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Snap some days it consumes me and the thought of forever daunts me
    I also love being alone and never lonely merely at peace

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    It’s a good day to start the journey good luck @kyliezara I’m a newbie too and this group is great for encouragement and kindness

  • So I didn’t drink yesterday and woke this morning feeling so proud of myself. Holding onto the quote “alcohol steals tomorrow’s happiness”.
    As a newbie to this group I wanted to say wow and thank you for your comments yesterday it gave me the courage I needed at a weak moment

    • Waking up not hungover feels amazing. I recently went back to the bottle after a nice chunk of sobriety. It is crazy how different u feel. Even not getting completely wasted i could feel the effects of alcohol the whole next day. It is a very icky feeling! Welcome to the group.🌸🌸🌸

    • That’s great!!! Keep that thought going today too! You’ve got this!

    • Woohoo! I hope you have a pro list of being booze free to look over when you have weak moments too? Xo

    • Well done!!

    • Hey @soberbrightongirl, I love the sentence “alcohol steals tomorrow’s happiness”, it’s so true. Just read another wonderful quote posted by @Scared: “Who you are, and who you want to be depends on what you do.” Have a nice weekend!

    • Thank you all your words mean a lot and help more than you can imagine

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Well done @mmskinny what an achievement I can’t wait for the day I can say the same

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Keep going, I also struggle with the evenings too but read somewhere that alcohol simply steals tomorrow’s joy. I try to hang on to this thought knowing in the morning I will feel prouder and happier
    Good luck and remember one day at a time

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Brighton, England unfortunately but this online crew is a great first step, thank you for replying x

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Yes I agree, reading about others feeling the same really helps I need a support network for days like this and finding this group may be all I need xx thank you for sharing for some reason knowing I’m not alone makes me feel stronger

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    I think mental rest from people is what I crave at these points just emptying my mind. I have a big family (5 children) so this isn’t always an option. I feel much better today I’m very happy that I didn’t succumb to the cravings.

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    It’s the evenings really, I’m reading lots which helps and also I work in a school so because it’s holidays a regular routine has disappeared. I think opening a bottle of wine in the evening relieved the mundaneness as i get bored easily

  • SoberBrightongirl changed their profile picture 2 weeks ago

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    This is the feeling I’m craving you’ve explained it so well

  • SoberBrightongirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Keep posting it’s a real help to see others feeling the same

  • 48 days and it seems to be getting tougher, is this a phase or will it get worse? Trying so hard to take it one day at a time

    • Gosh I’m behind you but boredom, winter and the mundane days are taking their toll. I guess we play it forward to summer or a couple of months and look forward and plan for exciting things now they are not found in our imaginary worlds.

    • It gets amazingly better, but I remember not feeling much better until the 200 day mark (and I was a pretty moderate drinker.) So much depends on your body state, age, other health issues, nutrition, sleep, exercise complete rehab 🙂 – reading, listening, posting here to rewire your brain in a new life and freedom.
      What is getting tougher? Do you have a forever need, or is this just a break?
      Have your read up on PAWS? not particularly encouraging and I’m not sure it gives remedies.
      Heaps of vitamin Bs, D, C, omega 3s, magnesium and anything else recommended for getting your body healed from alcohol toxic attack – it invades every cell, damaging, so healing can take time.

      • It’s the evenings really, I’m reading lots which helps and also I work in a school so because it’s holidays a regular routine has disappeared. I think opening a bottle of wine in the evening relieved the mundaneness as i get bored easily

    • You need to have an imaginary fly swat. A big craving comes along and you just swat it away, splat! They are only thoughts and they usually signify something you do not have. Something you require. A warm hug. A glass of water. Some comfort food. A warm blanket and a rest. Try to tune in to yourself and see if you recognise what you need when the going gets tough. And remember to look in the mirror and see your skin and hair and eyes looking so much brighter. Be proud. And what really helped me in those early days was to keep and spend what I would have likely spent on booze. I’d go off and buy a new lipstick or some jeans or boots, or just go to a cafe and eat something delicious. It really helps reinforce what you are doing, it shows how much money you used to waste, but it also shows you that you are worth spoiling, and that it is okay to indulge yourself on some simple pleasures. I’d buy luxury grocery items too and loved it. All you need to do is to trust yourself, and to hold on xo

      • I think mental rest from people is what I crave at these points just emptying my mind. I have a big family (5 children) so this isn’t always an option. I feel much better today I’m very happy that I didn’t succumb to the cravings.

    • Yes @soberbrightongirl I’m on day 48 or 49 and I’m struggling a bit as well. Up until now my resolve has been really strong but not so much at the moment. I’m staying close to this group as the support has been fantastic.

      • Yes I agree, reading about others feeling the same really helps I need a support network for days like this and finding this group may be all I need xx thank you for sharing for some reason knowing I’m not alone makes me feel stronger

  • SoberBrightongirl became a registered member 2 weeks ago