• Sober4real posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 47 minutes ago

    Mine are too. Just hang in there…..remember the most important thing is your sobriety – you will have nothing for yourself or to give anyone else without it if you drank like me. You are going to be OKAY! 🙂 The promises of sobriety always come true, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly and sometimes in ways you’d never imagine. If she comes back and you are ready (you need to be ready and grown for it to work – if it’s premature it won’t work again and that would be a set up for a relapse) then great but do not rush it. Let her know your feelings but continue to work on yourself, being grounded and being strong in who you are learning about all the things you want to work on about yourself. If you do that no matter what you benefit, the world benefits and whoever you end up with ends up with the best version of yourself you can be. You deserve the best life has to offer so keep moving forward with hope! xoxoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 2 minutes ago

    @livesobertoday I can relate to your story and I think it’s great that you are going to write her. You will have no regrets. Sometimes we put ALL the blame of break ups on ourselves though and no matter what most of the time it does take two people to make it or break it. If nothing comes of your communication know you did what you could. I lost someone dear. It is a painful thing. I’m thinking of you and putting positive vibes out there for you. Just remember you are not alone whatsoever. 🙂 Congrats on 97 days – you are doing so well. This is when mentally we put things together so just take them one thing at a time and try not to fix everything over night. It took time for us to get here – it will take time to get it back together. 🙂 Hang in there – I look forward to updates.

    • Thank you I needed to hear that. My eyes have filled with tears.x

      • Mine are too. Just hang in there…..remember the most important thing is your sobriety – you will have nothing for yourself or to give anyone else without it if you drank like me. You are going to be OKAY! 🙂 The promises of sobriety always come true, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly and sometimes in ways you’d never imagine. If she comes back and you are ready (you need to be ready and grown for it to work – if it’s premature it won’t work again and that would be a set up for a relapse) then great but do not rush it. Let her know your feelings but continue to work on yourself, being grounded and being strong in who you are learning about all the things you want to work on about yourself. If you do that no matter what you benefit, the world benefits and whoever you end up with ends up with the best version of yourself you can be. You deserve the best life has to offer so keep moving forward with hope! xoxoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 7 minutes ago

    Fantastic!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 23 hours, 7 minutes ago

    @kitten I love the fall and my very first year of sobriety was in the fall of 1993! LOL. I think wow, what if I would have just stopped then? My life would be so different but of course I would not have learned all the lessons I needed to learn in order to help others too. The universe is definitely a trip. I’ve been in bed all day but thanks for asking. My numbers are a bit better with my thyroid and at least I’m in the care of a specialist (endocrinologist). I think WHAT the hell?! I drank like a crazy lady for 7 years straight and had good numbers that whole time. It’s like I got sober and my body fell apart a bit hahaha. I will get better that is for sure. I’m so excited for your new job. I’m sorry about your business but sounds like you know exactly what you are doing and that’s wonderful when you have that relief you know you are making the right decisions. You will be motivated for this and I sense it will be an easy transition! Big hugs to you from me!!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 2 hours ago

    Congrats @kitten slow and steady as they say the progress will come, maybe not in our time but in the universe’s time. In the meanwhile, at least we know we are not physically hurting ourselves on a daily basis. Happy for you!! I’m at on the 60 day countdown to a year just about and excited about that!

    • so excited for you, @sober4real. 60 day countdown to a year, a fall bloomer. i was right smack in the middle of summer. Both of my long term quit dates, though years apart, were in July. The universe really does have its way with us, huh? Hope you are feeling better.

      • @kitten I love the fall and my very first year of sobriety was in the fall of 1993! LOL. I think wow, what if I would have just stopped then? My life would be so different but of course I would not have learned all the lessons I needed to learn in order to help others too. The universe is definitely a trip. I’ve been in bed all day but thanks for asking. My numbers are a bit better with my thyroid and at least I’m in the care of a specialist (endocrinologist). I think WHAT the hell?! I drank like a crazy lady for 7 years straight and had good numbers that whole time. It’s like I got sober and my body fell apart a bit hahaha. I will get better that is for sure. I’m so excited for your new job. I’m sorry about your business but sounds like you know exactly what you are doing and that’s wonderful when you have that relief you know you are making the right decisions. You will be motivated for this and I sense it will be an easy transition! Big hugs to you from me!!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 2 hours ago

    Having that kind of support is so powerful! Good for you!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 2 hours ago

    Great job! Don’t forget your protein! 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days ago

    I’m so blessed you are here and am thankful you are my friend! Congrats on 16 months….well done!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days ago

    Unfortunately, that’s what it does. Glad you are here. Check out the sober toolbox. You have to decide you aren’t going to drink and make that decision first and foremost. Welcome.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days ago

    Fantastic and huge congratulations to you @Ladyhawke you’ve grown by leaps and bounds and made so many positive changes. You should be chuffed!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 20 hours ago

    So good to see you @JSAC! I’m glad you are here…..

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 22 hours ago

    Congrats on 50 and a new baby! What a wonderful gift!!!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 22 hours ago

    @iowadawn being a Christian and an alcoholic aren’t related – there is no correlation. Alcoholism does not discriminate and my God doesn’t judge us if we are sick or ill. He just wants us to get better. I have only been really blacked out meaning drunk, functioning but am not there a few times in my life – but a lot of falling a sleep in the recliner. I think when we spiritually are in a weakened state it’s easy to believe things that aren’t true, not be grounded and think evil can get to you. It’s an interesting concept really- if I am drinking then I don’t care about things as much, put myself in bad situations which could be perceived as evil I guess but don’t overanalyze things. I thought it was creepy when I first heard it too but it’s BS.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Sounds like you learned a lot about yourself there. That’s wonderful when those epiphanies happen.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 4 days, 22 hours ago

    @andieT do you know what is in it? Super curious!

    • I found this on Google…hope it’s useful 🙂

      Rescue Remedy, manufactured by Nelsons, contains five flower essences: Rock Rose to alleviate terror and panic, Impatiens to mollify irritation and impatience, Clematisto combat inattentiveness, Star of Bethlehem to ease shock, and Cherry Plum to calm irrational thoughts.

      We can also get rescue remedy pastilles which are also0 fantastic. Good luck

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 4 days, 22 hours ago

    I’m working on getting back to that! I had it for about 3 months in early sobriety. Urgh. Course I have other medical stuff so that could be why I have a hard time getting up. I miss those early mornings – so nice to be productive.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 4 days, 23 hours ago

    Thank you for the hard work you do helping babies. RN’s and healthcare providers do not get enough kudos. Good reminder that life is precious indeed.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    I know lots of people that are happy in sobriety but didn’t need a formal “program.” Everyone is different. Most people like that haven’t really been alcoholic – maybe just heavy drinkers/abusers but once they made up their minds they quit. Then there are those of us….well, like me – that pretend I don’t need a program but I do. LOL. Thanks for the reminder. Mine sort of works me nowadays but it’s easy for me to forget about it so it’s always a good reminder. We love to overcomplicate things and yes, sabotage. It’s never fun for me anymore – is it fun for you ever now? Because it was just complete shit show every single time I drank for 3 years. I always drank till I passed out and I couldn’t go to social functions any more if I was drinking because I would get sloppy. There are many types of programs – AA, RR, etc. Any of us that quit and it’s been just 34 days can feel like a dry drunk -you haven’t had time to start working a program but you are doing so good – all through physical detox which is such a win. I would ask – what kind of life do you want to have? If you want to go back to the way it was or WORSE because it will be that – you probably know that or do you want to find out how much better and different it can be if you stay sober? There are many gifts but they take time. I’m glad you are here! I don’t know about other people but I have to have tools….I have to be reminded over and over certain things about this issue for me. Because even though I’m successful, and smart, well educated with degrees and a good job/own my own home – I cannot drink like a normal person and when I drink my life goes down the shitter. I want to be there for my family when they need me too and my folks are getting older – if I start drinking I may just send my poor Mommy to an early grave. Lots to consider and even though we think we are making this split second decision to start drinking it’s actually a very long term permanent decision because we never know…[Read more]

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    Welcome back! I know you can do it! Most of us know moderation never works for us anymore. Glad you are here….

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    So sorry I know that hurts so bad! I’ll be glad when you get them out. What a wonderful time hitting your year! xoxoxoxox Take good care of yourself.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    @lee-2 you look SO young in your profile pic I’m so sorry I assumed your age. I love taking minimalist approach to things and simplifying too – it just helps to feel more organized as even if we do not try we collect stuff that’s for sure! Definitely be careful – I only deal with local people and cash and if you are nervous meet them in a public place cash only. 🙂 xoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Absolutely that’s what this is all about for sure. I ended up over eating ice cream tonight. Goodness sakes. But I did not drink!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Great job, I ate a lot of ice cream today. Urgh but oh well. Better than drinking.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Hi @newme I was sensitive but I don’t consider myself and empath because I’ve worked through that as I’ve aged but when I was little and stuff I wasn’t scared of noise or too many people (overstimulation – my daughter was as a baby) but I thought everyone was nice and got hurt a lot as a result of trust and faith. My son was just like me …..luckily I knew how to handle it. My adult daughter drinks – never had any issues with it but I think she could if she isn’t careful. She knows my story and where to go. My son won’t touch alcohol because of our family genetics but I’m sure someday as a grown man he will invariably try it. I worry about him more….he has such a deep heart. This is a very interesting post I will re-read again. Thank you for sharing!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    You are doing a lot @lee-2 – you sound like me so much sometimes when I was younger. Just try not to put that you have to do too much every single day on your shoulders. You are doing so well. I posted some stuff to sell but had no luck! What would I call that? Unproductive hopefulness? LOL. Anyway, you have a lot of insight to yourself and that’s really wonderful growth. Your exodus has got me curious because I do want an exodus but I don’t know that it’s going to work for me at this stage in life. Urgh. 🙂 Keep us updated on your exodus situation!

    • I’m 53 @sober4real That ain’t exactly young. I think it helps to sell things when you make things look more attractive. Stage them in your photographs. One of the things that I sold today was a bike so that wasn’t very hard. I may have to take a different route with some of the more expensive things. I posted a few antiques and have only gotten scam replies for them so far. Some are really blatant and people still fall for them. People make fake money orders, cashier checks and all sorts. They will clear in your bank at first but then will later be recognized as fraudulent, when it’s to late. I’m not in a rush, just thought I’d have a go at it while I am still unemployed and have time. I have a ton of stuff and am just beginning to simplify now. It will be awhile before I actually leave.

      • @lee-2 you look SO young in your profile pic I’m so sorry I assumed your age. I love taking minimalist approach to things and simplifying too – it just helps to feel more organized as even if we do not try we collect stuff that’s for sure! Definitely be careful – I only deal with local people and cash and if you are nervous meet them in a public place cash only. 🙂 xoxoxox

      • It’s a fuzzy black and white photo, you can’t see the wrinkles. I also didn’t age to much in my heaviest years of drinking. Recon I was pickled.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Congratulations and thank you for sharing. I laughed so hard – sell your Grannie! hahahahha! I def needed to read your post today.

    • Pleased it helps, sometimes we just need a little reminder of what others have struggled with. Stay strong.

      • Absolutely that’s what this is all about for sure. I ended up over eating ice cream tonight. Goodness sakes. But I did not drink!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 22 hours ago

    Hahaha oh @jocord – I’m not talented but it was fun and I had to laugh about it but I enjoyed it. Also, my brother was like my twin growing up – one year older almost to the day but not twin twin. I sure have been having to use a lot of tools lately. It’s tough to know he’s alive but not. I appreciate you. Love the community we have here. xoxoxoxoxoxx

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 22 hours ago

    Of course! 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 19 hours ago

    Lovely!!! Those are the moments I love in recovery…enjoy them. So great you are recognizing them and so much joy definitely comes, it just takes time for all that change to take place. Years much of the time but it’s wonderful to watch it unfold in ways you would have never expected. 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 19 hours ago

    It will totally be okay- I’m going through that right now as well – because of health reasons and because I’m not accepting some things I need to accept AND because I’m not using my tools and because I’m not focusing on gratitude. Crap! Anyway, at least I know what to do in order to get on track. Do you have a morning and evening recovery routine? I will say that really really helps set my tone for the day. I used to read page 84-87 of the big book in the a.m. and p.m. – I can’t remember- you used to do meetings (I do the program but not meetings all the time however I will sponsor those that need a sponsor as women are so hard to find). I could think of more if you’d like some ideas – I appreciate you reminding me because I’m going to do it again. When I get squirrely it’s because I think I know what is best in every way and because I’m somehow not getting something I want in the time I want it instead of the universe’s time or God’s time. I can be a pain in the ass but I love me anyway. Hahaha! xoxoxoxoxxoxo

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 19 hours ago

    That is so sweet to adopt a bat in her honor and also help the animal. I’d like to do that for my Mom. Sometimes those closest to us are the hardest to buy for!

  • Well, I wrote a song tonight and recorded it. I’m terrible but it was fun and it felt good. It was a form of releasing some feelings…which I think is a positive way to handle things since I’ve been bummed with this whole health thing. But the upside is that it was actually about my brother whom was my twin. I haven’t seen him in 13 years. He is on meth and disowned our entire family – one by one burnt the bridges with each person. I’m so seeing with the accidental overdose of my son’s friend, with the loss of Prudence’s friend…with all the pain in the world how we have to focus on the love and the light on the good and carry a blessed attitude towards everything as much as we can. It can really be difficult at times but when I do that and come through the other side without drinking it is definite growth. Hope all you sober warriors have a great week!

    • What a sad story, and one that too many people share. My son slowly lost his way with one drug after another and now is on meth. I haven’t heard from him from him in years. I don’t know where he lives. He says I’m not his mother.
      The feelings you have endured while watching your twin separate from your family must be heartbreaking. How strong you are to keep your focus on the good and beautiful. Well done, you.

    • Would love seeing some of your lyrics, @Sober4real. Continued prayers of mending and protection for your beautiful heart.

    • @sober4real, wrote a song and recorded it, wow. great. love and prayers for your health.

    • We’re continually discovering new talents in you, my friend! It’s so tough being a twinless twin. You know your’s is still out there somewhere yet lost at the same time. It’s heartbreaking. We’re fortunate to have you in this community supporting and sharing for the common good. xoxo

      • Hahaha oh @jocord – I’m not talented but it was fun and I had to laugh about it but I enjoyed it. Also, my brother was like my twin growing up – one year older almost to the day but not twin twin. I sure have been having to use a lot of tools lately. It’s tough to know he’s alive but not. I appreciate you. Love the community we have here. xoxoxoxoxoxx

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 20 hours ago

    @k1w1 so well put sadly. That black hole is hell. So sad. Feel bad for all involved.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 20 hours ago

    So sorry to hear this. Just remember she’s sick and perhaps maintain boundaries away from her and focus on your own recovery. You and your daughter don’t need the negativity and drama of that when you are determined to be sober and healthy. I find that in the early days of recovery it’s best not to be around people that drink alcoholically and it’s not judgment – it’s just that it’s not healthy. You can sadly see what you never want to become though. I always think of these things as lessons as it sets the tone for what you really need in your life right now. Peace, harmony, health and self care.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 20 hours ago

    Night!!! 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 20 hours ago

    You can do it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Day 4 was really hard for me. Once you get through detox of a few weeks (some say 10 days some say 12 some say 14) you will feel tons better. Then you can start implementing some tools to assist you when you want to drink.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 6 days, 20 hours ago

    Glad you are here – no one can do this thing alone very well so do not be hard on yourself. Definitely read up, commit to being sober 100% and do that every day you get up. Once you get through detox in about 2 weeks you will start feeling better. So happy you are evaluating your relationship with alcohol.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    @prudence I’m so terribly sorry. My heart and prayers are with you and all that mourn the loss. Tragedy indeed. 🙁

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Have a good and productive day @Ro! 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    @kitten wouldn’t it be nice if it could be undone? Who would have thought it would be such a life changing pain in the ass process? I remain grateful today though for sure. 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    @freedom1025 THANK YOU! I needed that and have saved it in my favorites to continue to reference. It is so easy to forget some of this stuff even though I’ve been through treatment. My forgetter breaks. Such good information and it’s spot on in my experience. 🙂 xoxoxo

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Yes @20012015 that’s where the angry, lonely, tired portion of my comment came from. 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Oh yeah, those are moments to celebrate absolutely. I do not ever want to go back to my old like either so the work is worth it!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Yes @jaxisdry it’s temporary and I played it through but I was like really- why did I actually think of going to the store? So that’s what I need to take a look at. I’m going to have to start doing more work on my feelings and what has been bothering me lately and start working on acceptance and changing my perspective. 🙂

    • Sounds good acceptance so important. I am just starting to see how it is so temporary and just sitting through the feelings and then I look back and say to myself wow I’m over that craving now thank God for that AF drink or that coffee or that bath. I just don’t want to go back to my old life.

    • Oh yeah, those are moments to celebrate absolutely. I do not ever want to go back to my old like either so the work is worth it!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Good job! I think the trip to Vietnam and Laos sounds wonderful. Sorry about your colleagues. I keep my work like completely separate from my personal life and have for about 15 years now. Don’t know if that helps …..I have to being in HR though.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I’m so glad you are on here talking to me! See how we help each other. It’s works @lynnelowe – I’ve had five years of continuous sobriety before and look forward to getting back to that! Definitely good for support and accountability. Thank you on the inspiration….you helped me tonight and that’s how this thing works. It doesn’t matter the time (I mean it helps) but we all have tough days no matter how long you have in recovery. Drinking is a go to for us now – so we have to use tools to change that. Thank you for being here for me tonight! xoxoxoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Oh yes @lynnelowe I know it will but I don’t get it like I did today often so I just had to say something here on LS to take the power out of it. It was the very first time in 10 months I thought about actually going to the store in a split second. Definitely going gently and it’s 10:23 p.m. so that’s good news.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    hahahaha ten-tier shit sandwich! Yes, as always I went from being bummed with a headache to laughing because of you! You are rocking it so wonderfully! I appreciate you so much. Keep on with your bad self sistah!!! xoxoxoxoxxo

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    No, it cooks out but if you make stuff that has a real taste often say like beer cheese for dip (German recipe) it can trigger someone (say like myself) to want some beer. LOL! 🙂 I think the biggest issue for some new to sobriety is essentially having it in the house. I don’t keep alcohol in the house – but that’s my choice. I can totally be around it and I don’t avoid it – my family who do not have problems drink around me. It’s just something I choose for myself.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Wow! That’s amazing!!!

  • Load More