• Sober4real posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 42 minutes ago

    Great jobs, those are the little wins that when they build up are creating new habits. Keep it up!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 45 minutes ago

    I hear you…it took me 7 years to get back. Don’t stop trying.

    • I’m not even sure it was a conscious choice to pick up, I was HAPPY sober, and then one day I was drinking again. I know that sounds rather daft but I search my mind to find that one decision to pick up and I can’t. And now I’ve been trying to get back for as long as I was sober. It makes me feel very weak and disgusted with myself.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 45 minutes ago

    Wonderful job!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 46 minutes ago

    This is about you…..we are just support, non-judgemental so don’t feel like you are letting us down. Your word is for you…:) You keep on doing it….you will get there! I found when I detoxed I started yoga and it helped me so much. Maybe just get a bit of exercise even just some walking will perk you up!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 2 hours ago

    You can do it and the anxiety and panic attacks will lessen. They are somewhat directional proportional to one another…..alcohol causes them even though it doesn’t feel that way. I still get anxiety at 8 months but not like I used to…it’s a lot easier now. Keep on keeping on and I promise you will absolutely start feeling better!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 2 hours ago

    Hang in there. Great that you are jumping right back on the band wagon. You can do it!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 2 hours ago

    Great job! One week tomorrow…you will be done with detox soon. Day 10-12 for me……hang in there!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 day, 23 hours ago

    Yes we are! Amen to that and glad you are on this journey with me….xoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 6 hours ago

    HAHAHAHA I’m an ugly crier too therefore much better to isolate when that happens as not to scare people. πŸ™‚

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Me too @jocord– I think we discussed that fact once. Good analogy. I didn’t have a choice either!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Glad you are still sober…it’s so we can deal with life on life’s terms – not so we can have a perfect life that’s for sure. I’m glad you cried it out in the shower. xoxo

    • I’m never going to drink again @sober4real well not in the foreseeable future anyway. It would have to be something pretty rad to make that happen. I think I’m probably quite an ugly cry baby so it’s just as well I’m in the drink where no one can see me lol

      • HAHAHAHA I’m an ugly crier too therefore much better to isolate when that happens as not to scare people. πŸ™‚

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 9 hours ago

    Awwww @jesss you know I adore you! No, that’s not what I meant about the AA thing. I don’t even go anymore. I do think that some of the writing helps that’s all. I also totally understand taking a drug to help preventing taking another….where would we be in the medical field had we not done that right? I mean what about those of us in serious withdrawals that need valium to detox? Makes perfect sense. And now marijuana is legal that can help people too in many ways. I’m open to whatever works for people so long as it is not causing further harm. I’m happier than I’ve been in years now and I’m not always conventional. I think we are all sensitive hahahaha! It’s a trait many of us share (guilty here!!! hahhahaa). I can understand when you hit that bottom thinking of ending it all when you are freaking 2 years in sobriety and don’t feel better you will try anything. I’m glad it helped you. You are such a lovely lady. Just keep on doing the things that make you feel stronger and healthier! Sorry if my initial response seemed like I was being closed minded. I’m definitely an open minded person especially when it comes to what others do. I just care about you!! xoxoxoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 9 hours ago

    Hey @jesss I am praying for you Mom to get better. I don’t think there is a one size fits all for anyone when it comes to this drinking thing. I don’t think AA is for everyone – I don’t go anymore much either but I think writing things down can be helpful for anyone. I like what @lee-2 said about it being in a controlled environment and the focus of not doing harm. I’m very much interested in how it’s helping you so please let us know. I’m not judging at all and hope since you’ve known me for a while you know that fact. I’ve used techniques I’m sure not everyone would agree to either. If it’s helping you that’s great! xoxoxoxoxoxox

    • Thanks so much for prayers for my mom! We will gladly take them! I admit i did initially take offense to your comment. (Guilty!). I basically read “go to AA and do the steps”. Which i have dabbled in that route for many many years. And no matter how hard i “try” it is just not for me. And that is OK! I love what @lee-2 said too. And it is in a controlled environment with facilitators helping every step of the way. They helped me SOOO much. I was crying tears of joy it felt so good to get rid of so many blockages. It sounds all woo-woo i know but it has made me a total believer in energy and how the body holds on to trauma and pain. Anyway, thanks for responding back. I am a HIGHLY sensitive lady, i was nervous posting this and as soon as i read your response i wanted to take it down! Lol. It’s a strange concept i know, taking a drug to help stop taking a drug! I spent a year researching it. Books, documentaries, youtube, case studies, articles. That day in the bar i just decided it was time. And im glad i did💗.

    • I didnt tag u above @sober4real

    • Awwww @jesss you know I adore you! No, that’s not what I meant about the AA thing. I don’t even go anymore. I do think that some of the writing helps that’s all. I also totally understand taking a drug to help preventing taking another….where would we be in the medical field had we not done that right? I mean what about those of us in serious withdrawals that need valium to detox? Makes perfect sense. And now marijuana is legal that can help people too in many ways. I’m open to whatever works for people so long as it is not causing further harm. I’m happier than I’ve been in years now and I’m not always conventional. I think we are all sensitive hahahaha! It’s a trait many of us share (guilty here!!! hahhahaa). I can understand when you hit that bottom thinking of ending it all when you are freaking 2 years in sobriety and don’t feel better you will try anything. I’m glad it helped you. You are such a lovely lady. Just keep on doing the things that make you feel stronger and healthier! Sorry if my initial response seemed like I was being closed minded. I’m definitely an open minded person especially when it comes to what others do. I just care about you!! xoxoxoxoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 10 hours ago

    Oh @rineylou how crazy!!! Are you in the US? I had to laugh even though we both know it’s insane. Putting it on snapchat. Oh my! LOL!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 11 hours ago

    Sounds lovely, not every day is full of adventure – I love your quote that there is a jewel in the emptiness….I will have to look to see where the Lake District is….I’ve been to Manchester and London but not sure where that is. Sounds pretty! Congratulations on 35 days!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 2 days, 11 hours ago

    @jesss I was going to say what a trip but….. LOL. I’ve heard of that being a thing now. My concern is that it is easy to get addicted to anything. Even that particular experience. I’m sorry you’ve had issues with feeling grounded. You know it takes time in recovery. For some people 2 full years to get everything out of their system depending on what they were using. Mental health is tricky and different for everyone that’s for sure. Personally, I can’t advocate for those types of things but what works for one person may not work for another so to each their own. I think it’s great that you are best friends with your ex. That says a lot. My only concern for you is that using a psychedelic might trigger your cravings in other areas even more intensely. Please watch out and be aware of that fact okay? Keep us posted on how it’s going. There are no quick fixes for these things that’s for sure. We have to walk through a lot of things and that’s what step work is for in AA. I can tell you being 100% sober not on anything that if you work the steps with a sponsor that is experienced you will experience intense relief every single time. You must already know exactly the things that are getting to you from the past so why not try to work a 4th step in conjunction with this other stuff? I have found some of the biggest reasons for relapse in my 25 years in the program on/off has been not working the steps and staying sober from alcohol but not other things. The steps are the vehicle to healing. xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

    • I appreciate your response @sober4real. The steps and AA are definitely not for me. I am doing psychadelic recovery coaching integration weekly online. It is a way different approach to addiction and feels more “right” for me. Different strokes for different folks. As far as getting addicted to ayahuasca, it is not a pleasurable experience. In fact it was painful and very hard! But it definitely cleared me of things that modern medicine and therapy just have not been able to do. It seems to have anti-addictive properties from reading the research that is being done on it today. The steps may be the vehicle of healing for some, but not all. And not for me…..

      • Hey, @jess. I heard about that on NPR and was curious about it. I don’t think you should feel apprehensive about sharing, but I DO understand feeling apprehensive about sharing anything so personal💜. Glad your mom is home.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    @rineylou how do you find those on snapchat? I’m happy for you! Keep up the great job.

    • Lol. I come from a town with an extremely heavily accepted drinking culture, so most people I know , drink and share their adventures. Last nights antics consisted of : unexplained injuries and lighting toilet paper on fire stuck into their pants…

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    You are making a big difference in the world….fantastic!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    @deester yes I am fortunate to have a bit of money to spend on fixing my teeth but I really wanted to spend it on my new house as I don’t even have it furnished yet. One thing at a time that is for sure!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    @aprilsfool I agree no regrets. Thank you for the love and strength. Means so much – I will carry that with me for sure.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    @jesss it’s not but that’s life. I think cancer has taken 3/4 of my closest family members so far.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    @malibustacey as they say in Buddhism I’m leaning into the sharp points for sure. The new meds they added for me was cytomel with the Synthroid. I do have more energy so that’s good but the hair falling out when I don’t have super thick hair to begin with is really upsetting. Can we do anything about the meds and aging? Boy, it’s no fun. hahahaha! But at least we aren’t the only ones. Aging means we have been given the gift of life so many others were not allowed to experience and for that I am grateful.

    • Yep, I remember what you’re taking @Sober4real. Are you doing much in the way of research/pro-active ‘integrative’ approaches to healing your system as well? Everyone’s so so different…there’s a thing I was listening to by Anthony William the other day ~ see if I can dig it out. It might be a ‘so fkin what’ thing…but every bit of info. helps. Goood mooorning. x (Think I’ll skip sending internet links..heh. It just seems to corny. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t with the pharmas. Any chance you’ve checked out “Thyroid Healing” from your library, sista?

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    @kitten most of my stuff is from my thyroid disease – a change in meds caused the hair loss and my teeth issues just seem to be hereditary but the good news is that I have three more procedures and I’ll be done with them for a while.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    So have you @freedom1025 – really grateful to have this site and all you lovelies!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Thank you @missfreedom! xxx

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Oh thanks @morgan I have a thyroid disease and got put on new meds so that was the outcome, not necessarily from drinking. Hopefully we can fix it over time. I’m grateful to be able to say goodbye to my Dad the way that I had previously hoped because he was a dramatic difficult alcoholic as much as I love him he was not an easy Father to have and he’s been sober for a while too so this is definitely a gift for us both.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Let me know how it works for you @chasingthedandelion!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    I remember feeling that way and just remind myself that in my world it is not fun I’m missing out on – I’m missing out on the chaos, drama, acting like idiots and all sorts of things that go along with heavy drinking. It feels good to take care of yourself and put yourself first. Soon that feeling will over take the feeling of missing out. Hang in there!

    • So true! Also it is not just one event for me it would be a spiral into the awful daily drinking again. I am not missing out on booze at an event I am saving myself from something bad.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Good for you! That tactic works well in the beginning for sure!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Yes! 387…..phenomenal. It’s really great when insomnia hits and I know it is not alcohol related. Do you have a lot on your mind? Love the curtsy visual…you make me laugh! xoxoxoxxoxoxoxox (Oh and yes they put me on cytomel with my Synthroid and that’s why my hair is falling out….I don’t know if I will keep it up. It’s supposed to stop but jeez!!!) Keep up the awesome job sober warrior.

    • Meds…….zzzzzz……..grrrrrr……@Sober4real. Always a lot on my mind :)…in this case, I think my sleep pattern is more physically related. I’m nearing the end of my biologically engineered tether and starting to hang out for my next ‘biological’ 6wkly infusion. I’m a walking test tube, really ~ ho hum

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 11 hours ago

    Yes! LOL! Funny girl……

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Wonderful!!!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    So glad to hear an update @jesss ……I’m sorry- I understand. Dealing with the same. You need to find your own little piece of happiness to hang on to while going through this other stuff in order to sustain you. I’m working on that myself. Big hugs – you are stronger than you think! Do not forget that!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    54 days! Right on….soon you might feel like looking for something else that will make you happy. πŸ™‚

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Always worth it being AF. Isn’t it nice in sobriety that we don’t have to jump to make decisions – we can wait for the right time.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 23 hours ago

    Fantastic! Great job.

  • Happy weekend sober tribe. I’m celebrating my 8 months tomorrow….it’s actually on Monday. 8 months ago all I wanted was to be sober and quit fighting alcohol every single day- I had been alcohol free in the past so I knew I could do it and that in the beginning while I detoxed it wouldn’t be easy. I walked through it all with the help of Living Sober and all of you wonderful peeps. Every day I wake up I gauge my feelings and make a mental gratitude list….it puts me in a different frame of thinking starting my day that way. I’m looking at the positives instead of the negatives. It’s just a tool I use that seems to work any time I’m under tremendous stress or down about something. I do the same thing at night before bed. I’ve had a few big trials especially with my health….I was super fortunate that all my liver tests came back just fine after 12 weeks of being alcohol free. I also had a lung xray and ultrasound. However, I did lose 3 teeth. That’s a big deal. I have nice teeth but had to have oral surgery twice to remove a molar and a front side tooth. I had two root canals, have to have a biopsy done and also have implant surgery to do as well. I’m losing my hair because of my thyroid meds. How I can look older now that I quit drinking makes me laugh in a sarcastically sick way- just my luck. But I’m still here and SO GRATEFUL for that fact. I lost 3 friends in 2018 due to long term alcohol or drug abuse – one had been quit for 10 years and still had a heart attack. It was a huge wake up call that I no longer can treat my body the way I was and expect it to last for me and my kiddos. On a positive note I have a great relationship with my adult daughter and her beau as well as my 17 year old son. Every weekend I spend helping others at meetings or online or with my kids or folks. I will never regret this time with them all that’s for sure and the healing has been a well deserved God send for my family overall. My biological Dad was one of us. Although…[Read more]

    • Thank you for sharing. You are heading into a tough time but your attitude is really inspiring. I am going to try your morning and evening gratitude practice. All the best at this difficult time.

    • @sober4real , yahou for your 8 months , c’est fantastique !
      Have a great weekend too . xxx

      • Oh thanks @morgan I have a thyroid disease and got put on new meds so that was the outcome, not necessarily from drinking. Hopefully we can fix it over time. I’m grateful to be able to say goodbye to my Dad the way that I had previously hoped because he was a dramatic difficult alcoholic as much as I love him he was not an easy Father to have and he’s been sober for a while too so this is definitely a gift for us both.

      • Thank you @missfreedom! xxx

    • What a massive change – so great to read. So sorry about your hair and teeth, damn! but as you say, the impact of overdosing constantly on a toxic poison can be far worse than that.
      Go well with your visit and goodbyes. Heart breaking.

    • Congrats on 8 months. What you are doing for yourself is amazing. Thank you for your presence in this site. You’ve been an inspiration!

    • great post @sober4real – it is amazing when we start to take care of ourselves, what we have to undercover that that the years of neglect have left us – body, life, homes, souls, etc. – congrats on getting it taken care of. Enjoy your time with your father.

      • @kitten most of my stuff is from my thyroid disease – a change in meds caused the hair loss and my teeth issues just seem to be hereditary but the good news is that I have three more procedures and I’ll be done with them for a while.

    • Heya @sober4real. You’re going strong, girl. Good reminder to actively lean into the ‘positives’. I’m hearin’ ya about the looking older thing ~ it’s the meds gigantic effects. Good, bad and otherwise. Lots’a love, M.

      • @malibustacey as they say in Buddhism I’m leaning into the sharp points for sure. The new meds they added for me was cytomel with the Synthroid. I do have more energy so that’s good but the hair falling out when I don’t have super thick hair to begin with is really upsetting. Can we do anything about the meds and aging? Boy, it’s no fun. hahahaha! But at least we aren’t the only ones. Aging means we have been given the gift of life so many others were not allowed to experience and for that I am grateful.

        • Yep, I remember what you’re taking @Sober4real. Are you doing much in the way of research/pro-active ‘integrative’ approaches to healing your system as well? Everyone’s so so different…there’s a thing I was listening to by Anthony William the other day ~ see if I can dig it out. It might be a ‘so fkin what’ thing…but every bit of info. helps. Goood mooorning. x (Think I’ll skip sending internet links..heh. It just seems to corny. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t with the pharmas. Any chance you’ve checked out “Thyroid Healing” from your library, sista?

    • Congrats on 8 months @sober4real! So great u get to go spend time with your dad. And how cool he is sober too! I hope your time with him is special. Im so sorry about the cancer. It’s just never fair🌸🌸🌸💗💗💗.

    • Amazing @Sober4real. You are an inspiration. Sending love and strength for your days ahead. I totally agree, you will not regret the compassion and love you are sharing.

    • Wow sober4real, this is a powerful share. Thank you. Though the trials come, there are blessings to meet them. Good dentists, sobriety, extra funds. Beauty for ashes. Have a blessed time with your Dad.

      • @deester yes I am fortunate to have a bit of money to spend on fixing my teeth but I really wanted to spend it on my new house as I don’t even have it furnished yet. One thing at a time that is for sure!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 3 days, 23 hours ago

    @jocord HAPPY ANNIVERSARY my friend! How wonderful. You know I did not know that little nifty fact about dopamine. I look forward to that. I hope you two had a great evening celebrating. Thanks for the reminder about quiet contentment finding joy in the little things in life. Love you buddy! xoxoxoxx

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 4 days ago

    It’s amazing what will happen when you put all your effort into being alcohol free and the things you will do will be super cool. πŸ™‚ Great job on day 4….that was always my hard day to get through for sure!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 5 days, 1 hour ago

    Good for you!!! Feels great to be in charge of your own decisions doesn’t it?

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Great job!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Good for you!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @lee@ hooray! Congratulations for hitting triple digits. πŸ™‚

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @jesss I am glad you are staying true to myself!!!! It is such a challenge ….you are so strong.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    It gets better for sure!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    I’m so sorry @jm how sad. It does destroy lives indeed.

    • @JM such sad news… sending you love today.. this is another reason why we should keep fighting this awful addiction xx

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I’m so sorry @song-bird…being sober is a good thing because we just hurt ourselves with it. I’m so sorry about your Mom…I know that it will kill me so I’m sending you love, light and positive vibes. Sometimes, we just have to cry! xoxox

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    You are welcome. Yes, that seems to be the case and thank you for reminding me of that fact because I can easily forget. I have a good forgetter – especially when it comes to booze after being AF for 8 months. Hang in there and just remember it takes time – it gets better one day at a time.

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Love it!

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    That’s so great Lee- almost 100! Congratulations…it’s all new territory. Super cool!

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