• Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Yeah good for you. I wouldn’t let someone else’s bad behaviour unravel my good work. Think of something nice to do for yourself today to take your mind of his huff.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Sounds like a perfect morning!!!

  • So this will be my third sober weekend! The last two have been ok apart from Saturday afternoon (my usual box of wine time) is temper tantrum time. I have been sleeping so so much, like 10 + hours, then today! Wide awake and feeling great at 4am. I’m hoping that’s my sluggishness over but it’s so up and down! However, it’s great to be up this early, having a coffee and enjoying some music. Hope every one has a lovely and sober weekend 🙂

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks everyone. Blowing off some steam and all your encouragement has helped. @Ro Yeah my partner drinks and thankfully today he isn’t. Poor guy has had a few bollockings today over nothing. Thank God he just shrugs it off and stays out my war path haha! Though it feels difficult just now in some ways this kind of mood makes me more determined, it’s clearly had an affect on my brain chemistry and I’d like my brain to last a good long while. Thanks again

  • Day 10: This is harder than what I thought it was going to be. My initial high as worn off. On Thursday I felt so great I thought I might start flying! Yesterday I was shattered and today, well! I have had a few fits of rage. I feel nothing but despair. I feel on edge and I might just smash every window in the house. I never even drank spirits! Nor did I reach for a drink before 4pm apart from weekends. I expected to crave alcohol, which I haven’t, not really. Apart from the other day when I got great news and wanted to celebrate but talked myself out of it by focusing on the hangover and having to start again. Funny thing is I don’t even crave alcohol right now, though I know a bottle of red wine would have me breathing and laughing in no time. Chri5T! I was like this last Saturday, it’s like my brain is pi55ed at me because it knows it’s the weekend and I’m not playing. Guess I’ll just put the kettle on and try and con it with a cup of tea. Please!!! Tomorrow can’t come quick enough. Merry weekend everyone, hope you’re having a better time of it than me. (It won’t always be like this will it?)

    • Hey it will get better -hang in there. I’m on day 35 so I’m early days but boy those first two- three weeks were hard – like you I was angry and sad and sleepless – but something changed about week four and it did get better. I think it’s different for everyone of course but yes those hard yards are hard! Just stick with it – as relentlessly shit as it is – you can do this. x

    • Keep going.. you will have down days but the good days will outweigh them…

    • I’m hearing you big time. I just got really angry because I asked my partner to come for a ride to get an ice cream and he wanted to go to the bottle store. I lost it inside myself immediately , but drove him to the bottle store, waited for him, went off having an ice cream have driven home and gotten into bed at the other end of the house 🙁 the whole time trying to remember it’s my choice to be sober. Still feel bummed out but at least I didn’t get a drink. I hope it won’t feel like this for long too @Sid_Scotia.

      • Thanks everyone. Blowing off some steam and all your encouragement has helped. @Ro Yeah my partner drinks and thankfully today he isn’t. Poor guy has had a few bollockings today over nothing. Thank God he just shrugs it off and stays out my war path haha! Though it feels difficult just now in some ways this kind of mood makes me more determined, it’s clearly had an affect on my brain chemistry and I’d like my brain to last a good long while. Thanks again

    • You already got some good answers but to reinforce:
      1. Yes, it will get better
      2. No, it won’t be like this forever
      3. The way you feel is perfectly normal

      Stupid booze. It fucks up your brain chemistry. Lucky for us our brains can heal and rewire themselves- it’s been proven! You will feel better. Then you will feel amazing. Then you’ll have a shit day and want to drink. Then you’ll feel amazing again. (Repeat) eventually even on the shit days you really don’t want to drink anymore.

      Keep at it, you are doing a hard thing and we are pulling for you and proud.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    @sijo Woah, sounds like it’s been a tough week! At least the real crap stuff is over and each day will be a bit easier, and I guess some days will be a bit harder but you are on the right track and there are definitely sunnier days ahead. Hats off to you!! Stick in there.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Cool! I’ve pre-ordered it on kindle, but since Karori is around the corner I’ll RSVP and pop in.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Cool that’s good to know! looking better every day you say?! How wonderful! Good genes!

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks! Yeah bloating is something I have always had but ignored. So if that goes that would be awesome. The B12 thing is interesting, I have tried a couple of times to take B12 and other B vitamins but it made me really depressed, I couldn’t even get out of bed, funnily enough I started taking it after a very very heavy week of boozing (visiting family…). Maybe it doesn’t go so well with the alcohol then!

    Will just hang on in there with the sleepiness, go with the flow as they say

  • I was wondering… What kind of withdrawls did people experience? I know alcohol is out your system quite quickly but how long until you all felt fresh’ish? I didn’t have major WD’s as was a heavy drinker of wine and beer and the odd gin, so wasn’t really dependent. I’m Day 7 now and I’ve had the odd symptom but I still feel so tired! I could sleep for another week! And I have been getting a good 9-10 hours a night!

    • Hi there Sid. All so very normal. It varies of course, but I experienced tiredness for months. Nothing awful, just tiredness. Sometimes, I needed to take a nap. And it’s perfectly okay to do that. B12 and magnesium do help. B12 in particular because alcohol inhibits the body’s ability to absorb and use that vitamin, so you will be low. This will help with the energy levels a bit. This is a time to rest and listen to your body as it heals in this early, or acute stage. You’ll need to continue to listen and rest as you head into the post acute withdrawal stage, otherwise known as PAWS. Yep, what you’re feeling is normal and has a name!
      You’ll get through it.

    • I had headaches and they actually lasted for months. I was tired and irritable. BUT…it gets better. After a year my hair and nails are growing quicker. My skin is so much better that i dont have to wear much makeup. My weight is stable and the bloating is gone. My headaches have gone. I am not tired anymore. My mood is sooooo much better, calmer and much more peaceful in myself. I am rational. Just hold on, let the days mount up and take special care of yourself. Self care is key. There is no downside to quitting the booze. Well done on day 7 xxx

      • Thanks! Yeah bloating is something I have always had but ignored. So if that goes that would be awesome. The B12 thing is interesting, I have tried a couple of times to take B12 and other B vitamins but it made me really depressed, I couldn’t even get out of bed, funnily enough I started taking it after a very very heavy week of boozing (visiting family…). Maybe it doesn’t go so well with the alcohol then!

        Will just hang on in there with the sleepiness, go with the flow as they say

    • My extra sleep thing only lasted 2 weeks, maybe three. I had other symptoms that lasted into month four. I’m age 63. I think it’s a little less noticeable if you’re younger. I seem to be getting better looking all the time, but I don’t think that’s related to going AF.

    • I had gone thru horrible withdrawls last week.. i was drinking continously 3 days. waz shaking horribly.. anxious.. panic. Went to work between all thease.. i couldnt focus on anything.. was walking around tbe office like a mad dog. Left the office by mid day & drunk again to stop withdrawl. I thought i need to hospital to detox.. finaly through tbe weekend i tappered slowly, the shaking & anxiety was still there though. Finally i put down the glass. Poured all the vodka left in the sink on sunday morning though i wanted a drink. Now its my day 3.. feel bit calm & refreshed.. but i knw its just the very begining.. loong way to go.

      • @sijo Woah, sounds like it’s been a tough week! At least the real crap stuff is over and each day will be a bit easier, and I guess some days will be a bit harder but you are on the right track and there are definitely sunnier days ahead. Hats off to you!! Stick in there.

    • What you’re experiencing sounds quite normal. Now is when you need to be very patient with your body and let it heal. Everyone’s experience will be different but the tiredness is to be expected. Sleep is good.
      I found a good quality multivitamin, extra magnesium and extra B’s to be helpful, as well as lots of healthy fluids.
      I think age can also play a factor in your body’s healing from years of constant alcohol abuse (although I’m not quite as young as @Tom4500). But there’s no downside to living alcohol free. Go well.

    • All normal, I was wrecked tired every night at 8pm for the first few weeks. Once I got past that stage the tired feeling left and I haven’t had it since. You are doing great, your body is just healing. Listen to it and grab all the extra rest you csn

  • Sid_Scotia changed their profile picture 2 years, 2 months ago

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Ohhhh doesn’t sound like much of a friend sorry. I am firm believer that if a relationship doesn’t give you anything then let it go. Life is too short for bad company and people who try to bring you down.. Relationships should be healthy and have sime kind of mutual satisfation. We quit booze because it isn’t good for us, people should be no different.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks everyone! Yeah feels great to be at long last doing what I kept promising myself I would do and very much just concentrating on each day and how being sober actually makes me feel 100 times better than being drunk or hungover. And yeah, I’m sure my insides aren’t completely shriveled. I do think once my body has detoxified it will probably be more fertile and if not then I’ll explore other options. And the other options will only work if I’m AF whether it be treatment or adoption. Like my brain and body to be working to deal with whatever it is I have to do.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Welcome! 🙂

  • Day 5 today. I always liked to pretend to myself that I was drinking just as much as anyone my age but I wasn’t, I was unhappy and felt guilty. Some times were fun but for me I had bad habits left over from bad times. I would drink heavily most nights and a Friday night could easily turn into Monday morning with a cocktail of drink and drugs. Who I feel I am and the reputation I have couldn’t be further apart. I came to New Zealand to get away from that lifestyle and to an extent I did but I still went full throttle on the booze and again anything I could lay my hands on. I had a fall this year which resulted in a drunken trip to the dentist for some repair work, I laughed it off, ‘badge of honour’ but inside I was utterly appalled. My partner and I would like to start a family and I always told myself that when I fall pregnant I stop, but it’s been a good few months and nothing and all I can think is with all these years of hitting it hard my insides must be so toxic nothing will grow. Anyway, recently I was watching this show called Intervention, the title explains the show. And it got me reflecting. There was a very low point where I needed someone to say to me that I was ruining myself and no one did. I got it together and became functioning but still with a lot of issues. I have always thought, one day, one day you’ll have it together. But when?! I keep putting it off and hiding in a cloud of booze and now I want to bring children into the mix?!! If there is one thing I have only ever wanted to exceed at is being a good mum, and whether or not I get to become one, I have to be a good mum to me first. So it’s day 5. I’ve been having nightmares, and I’ve been pretty hot and cold with people but today I had a lot more energy and managed some yoga and meditation and I feel great for it. I try to make each day a step closer to the life I have always pictured for myself, it might be a small step but it’s a step. Thanks guys!! 🙂

    • You’re doing great @sid_Scotia awesome post. Hang in there.

    • That is an awesome post @Sid_Scotia. I just figured out that I have to parent myself, thats exactly what you’ve said too, be a good Mum to yourself. That sucks that you had a very low point where you needed someone to say you were ruining yourself and no one did. But you’ve got to where you are now, and you’ve got to this site so you are on track girl. Love to you xxxx

    • Day 5 is excellent. You sound like you are doing all the right things and learning to take good care of yourself. Dont be disheartened regarding the baby front. It took me a while to get pregnant with my first baby. (sometimes it just takes time). Well done for being on here and giving up the horrible booze. xx

    • Exactly. The life you want is a series of small, sometimes careful, steps forward. And you’re doing it… You’re moving in the right direction. You’re doing the right things. Be proud xx

      • Thanks everyone! Yeah feels great to be at long last doing what I kept promising myself I would do and very much just concentrating on each day and how being sober actually makes me feel 100 times better than being drunk or hungover. And yeah, I’m sure my insides aren’t completely shriveled. I do think once my body has detoxified it will probably be more fertile and if not then I’ll explore other options. And the other options will only work if I’m AF whether it be treatment or adoption. Like my brain and body to be working to deal with whatever it is I have to do.

    • D5 is wonderful, you can do this….for You first & foremost @sid Scotia. Keep going forward, the past has past, go forward. xxx

    • Congrats on day 5. Being sober is great and it’s worth it.

    • Five days is certainly momentum…good for you! And you are so right about wanting to get the drinking out of the picture before kids…no regrets, like I have.

    • Good workm@Sid_Scotia, it does feel good to be doing what we know is good for us xx

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Yeah yoga is great!! Even if you can practise just a little each day, I find it really calms the mind. I did a little today, first time in a long time and really appreciated it. Going to take a class on Wednesday, now that I won’t be rolling about hungover feeling crap and anxious and lazy.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Exercise maybe? I meditated today for the first time in years… It was awesome. I’m normally quite a busy minded person but was able to switch off and just go with it. Found a guided one on youtube and after it felt great! I know it’s nothing to do with food but instead of reaching for the junk you could try that if you wanted! Haha! Just a suggestion.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 2 months ago

    Yeah me too! Day 3 today and it’s been a bitch. Roll on tomorrow! Night folks!

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Hi @Faster

    I’m in Wellington but Scottish and my old stomping ground is Leith… So everything you say resonates with me. It is so a part of our culture it’s very hard to get away from. Anything that is going on, you have a drink. It’s acceptable to be blotto! I’ve always been a heavy drinker but had some boundaries but those boundaries were ignored when I lived in Leith, so now I’m getting them back. Day 1 for me! Easier here though, no leith walk and all my pals to tempt me. Good on you for LS!

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    @begoodtomyself

    I think you are doing remarkable. As I read your post all I could think was ‘well things might be a bit crap but if they were back on the drink it would be hellish’. Life is rough, I started binging because life is rough. That won’t change. Life is always going to throw crap, but being able to facilitate the emotions that comes with it is all that is important. Being an example to your loved ones is important and being able to be proud of ourselves, also important. So give yourself a round of applause

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Hi @happyness
    Thanks, will check out the control your drinking one.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Hi, how is the book? The smoking one helped me quit and I was thinking of buying the booze one.

    • Hi @Sid_Scotia I would recommend buying the book, or even borrowing from a library. If one worked then there’s no harm in reading his other one. Both of Allen Carr’s books worked for me (as well as Mrs D’s book). I preferred ‘The Easy Way to Control Alcohol’ to the other version ‘The Easy way to Stop Drinking’. They are a little different in their approach. I think one is more ‘polished’ and the other more ‘lengthy with words’. My perspective only, of course. 🙂

    • Still early in the book, but it is well written with some strong thoughts.

  • Sid_Scotia posted a new activity comment 2 years, 3 months ago

    Thank you, today is not day 1. Day 1 is around the corner. I’m sure of it.

  • Sid_Scotia became a registered member 2 years, 3 months ago