I am an all or nothing girl, and when someone says moderate your drinking..... what does that mean?? So I’ve realised (and remember, 13 months in 2012/2013) when I’m alcohol free I’m a happier, brighter, fitter & definitely a kinder person.... so hopefully I can do it again....
Mornin’ @Shez. Was just curious, if you don’t take action starting today, as your day 1, ‘you NEVER will?’ That’s an unusually powerful insight for someone just starting out? Heyyy, totally on your side, Shez. Totally.
@malibustacey, I keep trying to give up and then kept talking myself into I can moderate, but I can’t moderate. I do know what it feels to be sober, and I want that feeling again!!! If I don’t do this now, I know I’ll just keep going, and something (I don’t know what) would end badly!!
@shez I highly recommend getting rid of any alcohol that you may have in the house, get whatever else for you may need for a few days and hunker down. READ everything that you can on recovery while your detoxing and stay here!
No problem @shez. First few days can be rough if you drink a lot. You may not feel like doing much. In the past I just made sure I had a few days to do nothing. I drank a lot though. Detox was always rough. Do this! You will be so happy you did!
@Shez, just keep in mind that the detox symptoms and any cravings will pass. The first few days are the worse but it gets so much better. It will never get better unless you stop. You CAN stop the horrible cycle and do not have to be a slave to alcohol any longer. Make sure that you have food that is easy to prepare and enough for a few days. I ate whatever I felt like in the beginning, gave my body whatever it craved except for booze but certainly wasn’t feeling health inspired or creative in the kitchen. I felt like absolute shit. Not sure if shit has feelings really but you get my drift. I’m thinking that you can still download a book called “Alcoholism in a Nutshell” by Stan West which is a publication from our own @DaveH. (Hope I got this right) Reading about alcoholism was just about the only constructive thing that I could do at that point. That book has helped me immensely! DaveH also supplied you with a very helpful list of what to and not to do in the early days. It’s not something to be checked off and completed, rather great suggestions and advise. Prepare yourself for some down time as you will feel sick. It’s very likely if your a gluttonous drinker as I was. @MalibuStacey once compared it to an exorcism, which I thought was pretty close! The demon booze is leaving your body and it can be quite unpleasant but no birds should fall from the sky! It kinda felt like having the flu for a few days but once that parts over the healing begins and everyday gets brighter. Welcome to sobriety my friend!!!
I agree with @lee….can’t have it in the house in the beginning (most of us). I have had SO MANY DAY ones …..you aren’t alone. I have quit for 1, 2, 5 years…..in my life. The only ones who lose are the ones you give up and give in to alcohol and quit trying so you keep on doing it! Because your life is worth it. You deserve the best life possible. It’s just one day at a time do not drink no matter what. 🙂
Yes @Sober4real! Any and all booze had to go! Way to easy to decide “Fuck it” with anything containing alcohol in my reach for the first few days. Have to get through that pain the hard way unfortunately unless you check into detox. Besides, If you kill it with booze your back to square one, drunk and miserable. I never want to be drunk and miserable again or lets say drunk, come to (wake), miserable, drunk, wake, miserable. That’s all there was really. All other normal life tasks seemed so overwhelming and impossible unless I had enough booze in me to do a haphazard job of anything required to survive. I went from being a chronic alcoholic to a chronic binge drinker and now I am sober, fa real, like your name, haha. It takes what and however long it does! Drinking and relapse were not failures at all. They were learning and turning points in the gateway to sobriety!
phew, don’t i know how you feel, i will never ever forget, the disgust, self loathing of no no no and then oops, not too many hours later, i think i will have just one, right when have i ever had just one. if you feel like rubbish just keep thinking about how healthy you are getting, day by day. post. love to hear from you.
Hi @shez How about making some plans to make it work this time. Here are a bunch of things that helped me get going.
– Don’t have alcohol in the house, don’t go into bars or restaurants that sell alcohol, don’t go into liquor outlets or anywhere you can buy alcohol, don’t go near the places you used to drink after work and don’t go to anywhere you used to drink. Don’t even pull into the car park of any of these places. – DON’T PICK UP THE FIRST DRINK. Do anything at all to prevent you from picking up the first drink. The first drink dissolves all objections to having another. If I don’t have the first drink, then I can’t have 10! – Radically change your daily routine and most especially fill up the slack times when you used to drink. Plan to be doing something else somewhere else at these times. Make a commitment to them and turn up. – If you are somewhere and you can see drinking and feel it pulling then leave IMMEDIATELY. If you are going to somewhere where there will be drinking then be accompanied and prepare an exit route so that it’s there if you need it. – Have snacks handy, have alcohol-free drinks handy, and take deliberate time out to exercise every day. – Be kind to yourself… you deserve treats, and alcohol is not “treats” and it is not a reward. Alcohol doesn’t make things better; it puts us back in the misery-hole (alcohol isn’t making bad things good… if it was then there wouldn’t be a problem). – Have lots of things prepared in advance that will occupy your mind and hands. Use them when the cravings come on hard. Simple books and puzzles probably won’t cut it as at first we can’t maintain enough concentration through the roaring of our minds… physical “doing” is good though; tidy something, pack/unpack something, move stuff, dig, weed, sweep, clean the inside of the car… anything to keep hands and mind occupied. – Prepare your defences along these 3 lines: delay, distract, deny. 1. Put off having that drink until later. 2. DO SOMETHING instead of sitting thinking about drinking. 3. Deny yourself the possibility of drinking even if your resolve has collapsed (give key, cash, card to someone else). – Keep the horizon close: “forever!” is self-sabotaging. The target is to not drink for the rest of the day… that’s all. “I’m not drinking today” Tomorrow and the days after haven’t happened yet; they don’t count. Today is the only day that matters. – Make yourself accountable by telling someone you are doing this. – Find and engage in some sort of recovery community, online or face-to-face. Other people have done this and can help you, but not if you don’t connect with them. Here is good, so check in daily, face-to-face is more powerful but not necessarily available to everyone. – Plan your timetable to keep all of this up for a minimum of 30 days because by then your brain will have significantly re-adjusted to life without alcohol and your ability to fight it changes. The problem will look completely different by then.
Stopping drinking isn’t just a desirable thing it is essential. Addiction is progressive and if we don’t intervene then it keeps getting worse and worse. But it CAN be interrupted. Lots of people here have done it and you can too.
Find out what things help you and keep doing those. Find out what doesn’t work and drop those and look for the next thing that helps. And stay close to the folk here. Whenever you start to struggle then call out here; someone, somewhere will answer.
What you are doing is possible, it is necessary and it is worthwhile. Keep going.