• Shez posted an update 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    Day 1 – here we go again!!! Recognising my trigger points are going to be key for me… I’ve got some pretty lofty goals and if I don’t stop drinking I’m not going to achieve them, but more so I’m currently ruining my health!! So I have to be honest with myself and get back to being happy sober!!

    • To our Health! (Toasting you with a fun AF beverage)

    • To right there @Shez your no good to anyone or yourself when your not healthy. That was one of the main reasons for me to stop and being present with my kids, huge benefits to being sober. Those triggers are a bastard and you never know when they will sneak up on you. Keep strong you know what to do. Sober truly is happy.

    • When I first stopped I found that cravings were triggered almost constantly… there was no way to distinguish one trigger from another. What I could see was that the times of the day/week that I normally used to drink were the most challenging. Planning to do other things and be fully occupied in those times really helped, but it was still tough going at first. Keeping the horizon close really helped. I had gone without for a day before, so I knew that was possible. The challenge was one I’d beaten before… “Don’t drink for the rest of the day”….that’s all the challenge… that’s always the challenge.

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    @daisy08, might not be able to help now but next time you are tempted shout out!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I should have stayed close to living sober over the weekend, so I suggest when you are feeling weak, log onto here!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    take it from my experience, I broke around 8 weeks and I’m full of regret two days on…

    • Thanks for that @Shez, it’s good to hear a reminder when we feel weak x lots of love and strength to ya Hun x

    • Shez replied 1 month ago

      I should have stayed close to living sober over the weekend, so I suggest when you are feeling weak, log onto here!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Im calming my mind at the moment 😑

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Sounds a good plan, just one slip and close the door on it!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thank you 🙏

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Omg this cracked me up 🤣

    • Ro replied 1 month ago

      I work with a lot of people. Most of them are pretty good. Some need an attitude adjustment. Don’t let them get to you – they have no idea what is happening in your life as you don’t know what’s happening in theirs. And then there are the fuck knuckles that will always be fuck knuckles. Just feel sorry for those fools. You are working on self improvement – go you!

    • Shez replied 1 month ago

      Thank you 🙏

  • Shez posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 2 revisited – I’m suffering mentally, with all that’s happened in ‘life’ the past few weeks, it’s pretty hard to stay on track. My dad got really ill, I nearly (but thankfully didn’t have to) sign his death certificate, and then work is just nuts, I don’t feel in control…. I’m so bad tempered there and I don’t know how to control it, most of the people I work with are amazing, but there’s two or three people that are just pushing my buttons to breaking point…. I’m trying to work out how to deal with it all, free of alcohol 😐

    • Ro replied 1 month ago

      I find a quick throat punch normally sorts them out 👊😉

      • Shez replied 1 month ago

        Omg this cracked me up 🤣

        • Ro replied 1 month ago

          I work with a lot of people. Most of them are pretty good. Some need an attitude adjustment. Don’t let them get to you – they have no idea what is happening in your life as you don’t know what’s happening in theirs. And then there are the fuck knuckles that will always be fuck knuckles. Just feel sorry for those fools. You are working on self improvement – go you!

        • Shez replied 1 month ago

          Thank you 🙏

      • 😂

      • Lucy replied 1 month ago

        I’m howling @RO… you are so funny.. but very helpful..xx

    • When my coworkers are pushing me to the point of no return I get on the elevator and don’t push any buttons, just stand in there and do a few deep yoga breaths, remind myself some people are just assholes and then get on with it. We can’t control other people but we can learn to temper our reactions and a time out for ourselves helps a lot.

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    What a lovely comment!! Thank you!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I totally understand @kjpeche, I did this over the weekend as well, I was near day 70 something, I didn’t check actually what day I was at cause I was so fd off with myself!! No one made me, I just did it…. why is the question I’m asking myself and I’m sure you are too…. my answer was I got complacent…. sure I’ve had a bit of ‘life’ thrown at me over the past few weeks, but it’s no excuse…. instead of drinking I should have logged in here to be reminded all the reasons we are living sober for!!! Right now, living sober means I could sleep, and not living sober means I can’t (which is why I’m typing this at 12.30am ?

    Whatever you do, don’t continue with the demons, stay here start day 1 with me and we will get through it, with more determination!!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    No you are not a loser, I am cause I got to 8 weeks and then caved 🤨

  • Shez posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 1 again 😞 – I messed up big time, not only Saturday but Sunday too!! So back to the start, what a loser I am, I knew I shouldn’t but I did and I actually don’t know why!!! But I’ll start again am more determined than ever!!!

    • Me too, @shez
      Saturday and Sunday. Feeling super seedy today. But determined.
      Gonna treat myself so nice today. Hope you can do the same x

    • Day 2 for me and l am not a loser and neither are you-we have challenges, addictions whatever people want to call it with alcohol. It’s real and it’s tough, but we never give up our hope. Day 1 is nothing to be ashamed of – it is a new beginning.

      • Shez replied 1 month ago

        No you are not a loser, I am cause I got to 8 weeks and then caved 🤨

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      @KerrieBear is right @shez! We are battling an addiction to a drug. Any and everyday that we don’t consume it is a win, be it 1 or 100000000000000000000.

    • You’re not a loser. We have all been there! Be good to yourself today.

    • Messing up would be not having a Day 1 again and again and again as often as it takes. You are an inspiration for picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and getting back in the ring – that’s what winners do!

  • Shez posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Day 50 – the ‘pink clouds’ have worn away, and the raw feelings are bubbling away at the surface….. will keep tracking along and aim for the 70 day mark, and just try and deal with these feelings the best way I can….

  • Shez posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Day 41 – I’m not posting as much, but that isn’t because I’m not lurking it’s just cause I’m feeling better than I did 41 days ago!!
    My next target is 50 days, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be heading towards 90 days after that! Just got to get through a weekend with some true friends (they get why I’m taking a break) so it won’t be them influencing me to drink, it’s whether I want to drink (and no is the answer today)!! Have a lovely weekend all!! Well done to everyone still on the journey and for the ones starting or restarting that’s ok we all start some where!! Kia kaha x

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    I love the brutal honesty of this post…. in my case I usually want to stab them with a blunt knife 😂

  • Shez posted an update 2 months ago

    Day 30 – Well that is a nice round number to tick off, next short term goal aim towards 50 days…

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    We are twins @yellowlark!! Nice work on Day 29!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months ago

    Day 29 – this is a day to be thankful for me….

    I’m thankful for a clear head so….
    I can work and do a good job
    I recognise all these feelings I have a real (albeit brutal)
    I can smile
    I am healthier (no weight loss, but the sugar belly is disappearing)
    I have a roof over my head
    I love my family
    Life is just a little easier

    Have a good day people!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    You are right it’s not just will power, it’s how much I want other things!! I do feel better than I did 28 days ago, that is for sure!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    I hope you are right, it’s sunday afternoon and I’ve had a great day but I’ll turn to my cup of tea instead of wine!! I’ll aim small for sure, and now at nearly a month I’m pretty happy to get through this far!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Well
    Done @andian!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 27 – it seems the longer you stop the pains do really ease!! Work has been mental this week, but thankfully I am af at the moment because I’ve been able to semi cope (although the frustration levels are up there)!! I went for a lovely jog last night instead of drinking, and it was beautiful, no one around just the moon and my inner self! Hoping to keep going, but I know relapses are inevitable but I can only hope my will power is stronger!!! Have a fab weekend!!

    • Lovely, just woken up to a clear head day. The 12 th day on this present journey. I am looking forward to rest and recuperation on this cold and wet day on the South Island.

    • I would like to challenge you on your statement relapses are inevitable. I don’t think that is a true statement, and I feel like a statement like that lets the brain say their okay. Not just will power, being prepared for all situations because sometimes after a long hard week will power stumbles. You have come to day 27 you can add a day at a time. Do small goals maybe aim for day 50 then 75 then 100. You can do this

      • I hope you are right, it’s sunday afternoon and I’ve had a great day but I’ll turn to my cup of tea instead of wine!! I’ll aim small for sure, and now at nearly a month I’m pretty happy to get through this far!!!

    • I’m with @k1w1, it doesn’t have to be inevitable. I also don’t think willpower is enough. We know we have incredibly strong wills. We’ve managed to keep jobs and power through days hungover. Asking for help before you drink is a great way to stay on track! xo

      • You are right it’s not just will power, it’s how much I want other things!! I do feel better than I did 28 days ago, that is for sure!!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    21 days – the craving is still there but I’m thankful I haven’t caved in yet!! I’m enjoying the sober break tbh!!! Have a nice evening all!!

    • Good girl. You are doing well. I find day 25 switches from the mundane to the ‘oh my God I’m alive!’ moments.

    • Good on you, strength of conviction is sometimes needed till it becomes our new normal

    • Well done! What helped me with the cravings was to keep a list of all the benefits of not drinking. It kept growing and growing and the cravings started to shrink. 😊

    • Well done on 21 days @Shez! I have a long list of reasons why I quit. I referred to it often in those tough early days. It gave me lots of motivation to fight on. Keep up the good work!

    • Oh do keep going! Great job on 21!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    One day at a time @agirl!! Do not do anything irrational, take a deep breath or 10 to ground yourself!! X

    • I certainly won’t do anything silly @shez. My (adult) children are my reason for being. I wouldn’t do anything to upset them. Thank you xx

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 20 – in the supermarket yesterday afternoon, having that voice say to me you can moderate, go on buy a bottle!!! The other stubborn voice is like no you can’t buy it, you’ve promised me!!! Instead brought sweets instead, bad idea ate them all and was awake middle of the night too!!! But with a different feeling (and not the same guilt)!!! Here’s to another day, and woop woop 21 days tomorrow (supposedly I will have broken the habit, some how I think a habit is slightly different to an addiction)!!! Have a good day all!!!

    • wonderful on you for saying no to the supermarket beast. congrats on day 20.

    • Buying sweets is always better than buying wine :D. Great choice!

    • Oh that voice, it’s annoying eh 🤪. I now have gone from sweets to macadamia nuts, thought hell their expensive but in reality when I was drinking it was nothing to spend money on wine.

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @agirl, sounds to me you had every right to for being angry!!! But I must look into this Tara Brach, cause I’m feeling pretty frustrated with a lot of things (mainly work related), and seem to speak my mind a bit too much that I care for!!! Have a good day!!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 19 – wow just woke up from a crazy dream…. I went to a party at a house I just brought (the people that held the party were the current owners), and everyone got really drunk (and were on other stuff) but I stayed sober….. I have no idea why I dreamt it but glad I’m not drinking alcohol in my dreams either!!! Have a great day!!!

    • Some do have drinking dreams, maybe the brains way of working through it. I love that you weren’t drinking in the dream 🦋

    • Congrats on day 19 @Shez! Those drinking dreams are weird..good to wake up to feeling unhungover. : )

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 17 – thank goodness for clarity at the moment otherwise I couldn’t do my job…. keep going everyone!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Nice one, here’s to day 31👍

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 16 – so much going on at work, and although I’m a little short with people I can process things a lot easier…. the fog is slowly but surely lifting….

    Oh and well done @mrs-d on the podcast, very good, I’m going to listen to more of Janey Lee Grace

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Exercise has always been part of my life for the past 10 years, many a training day was on a hangover though, so much easier without one!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Lots of navel gazing going on 🤦‍♀️

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hope you enjoyed the class!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 15 – wow I made it through the long weekend here!! I’m feel pretty good tbh, well apart from my legs which were ripped off (in a good way) on my cycle this morning. What I have learnt is when you wake up (and it’s time to get up) do get up, otherwise you can lie there thinking too much, over analysing things!! Life could be worse, and I do recognise it will go down hill at points, but if I can manage these feelings/thoughts I can manage most things!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Very powerful, the world is definitely filled with fair weather friends, but be true to yourself and you’ll find the ones who count!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    I think I’ll go for the chocolate 🍫😀

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well done!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well done!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Be kind to yourself, and Annie Grace also says, it takes time to find your forever day 1!! Forgive yourself!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Congratulations @malibustacey, what a fantastic achievement!!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 14 – I have massive cravings today, think it’s cause it is cold and I turn to the red when I’m cold and a bit low!! Anyhow, I’ve made it to 5.30pm and haven’t gone to the supermarket to break my 14 days, so let’s hope it lasts tonight 🤞🏻

    • two whole weeks, well done you ! 🙂 🙂 🙂

      keep going, it only gets better and the cravings slowly ebb away 😀

    • Hey Shez. Totally get where you are coming from with the cravings when it turns cold and gets dark early. It seems to make the cravings come with full force. And if you are in NZ – its brass monkeys out there today! Maybe focus on your day tomorrow and how great it will be to start your day 15 with a clear head and another sober start to a healthy week? Hope your evening goes well and stay warm! 🙂

    • Distraction works a treat! ❤️❤️

    • Make sure your warm, and snuggled, comfory pants, cup of hot cocoa a good book, you will get through and them make plans to conquer winter

    • Red wine was my go-to Achilles heel as well. Hang in there!
      It gets sooo much easier the longer you’re sober. It won’t always be this hard.
      xoxoxo

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 13- tempted for a nice red on this stormy night!! But I’ll stay away from the supermarket!! I am feeling calmer, and clear headed, so will enjoy these positives!! Have a great evening 👍

    • Yes! Focus on the positives and what you are grateful for now you are no longer drinking! 🙂

    • There are so many healthy alternatives, and, failing that, chocolate!
      Thanks for your comments yesterday. It turned out well. Far too much work and worry for a short course though. Grrrr. I hope they got a lot out of all we presented and information supplied. A few laughs, that always helps.

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Small blip on a bigger journey!!! If anything you saved me heading to the supermarket for bottle of red to enjoy on this stormy night, so please be kind to yourself, you will be back up to 27 days sooner than you know!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    I’m with you @morgan, I like being clear headed in such craziness!!!

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 12 – work drinks put on, soooo wanted one, even one of the managers said there is wine around for you, which I replied thank you!! Took myself for a little jog instead!! Getting through the weekends are the hardest!!!

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    @guitarer, so brutally honest, thank you!! I actually said to my sister the other month if I don’t stop drinking this would happen (I’ll lose my job etc) scared me, and I’m sorry to hear what’s happened to you, but hope you can heal!!! Thoughts are with you emo or not 👍

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    One day at a time @melza79, I’m only on day 11 and it’s not easy, but it’s not meant to be!!! But what I’ve learnt so far is self care is first and foremost cause then you’ll be there for the ones you love the most!!!

    • Thank you, I’m Day 5 today and just taking one step at a time. It’s so or die for me as my teaching career is on the line if I don’t stay sober.

  • Shez posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    @danthedev can you please help us?? Thanks!!

    • Hey @shez thanks for pinging me. This may have resulted from all the changes we made to the cache in the last 72 hours – I have reset it multiple times during this time. If this still persists in the next few days ill sort it out 🙂

  • Shez posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 11 – well it’s early morning (but I’m sure I’ll get through today), but the last couple of nights I’ve woke up around 3am thinking omg I’ve been drinking, then I realise no I haven’t…. I’m really scared I’m going to fall off again but I don’t want to!!!! Hope my will is stronger than my desire for a wine!!!

    • It’s great you are keeping close to those who understand. Did you feel relieved you had not been drinking and then proud? Good feelings should be kept close too. 😃😃

    • I’m sure you’ll get through today too @shez. We’re here for you, post if you need to. Isn’t it awesome to wake up and realise YESSSSS I’m not hungover!!!! I love that feeling everyday, it never gets old.

    • Iv been waking up about 3am too… doing the whole .. omg how much did I drink ?? Then…. Holey shiiiit I didn’t!!!!! Then realizing my bed and pillow are way softer than I had ever remembered lol.. go figure ! 🙂 you can do this .. and so can I.. I’m now day 4 .. focus on that amazing relief of the 3am wakeup and not have alcohol swirling through your body.. slowly poisoning us to bloody death. Lol xxx

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