• Serenaville posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Lucky

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Clever words.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    You are doing a good job @DaveH. Thank you so much for your reply to my earlier post. Fabulous words.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    You’re a good neighbor Ro.

  • When I relapse it’s like everything positive I have ever achieved gets cancelled. It’s heart breaking to feel so useless.

    • Yep know the feeling, but I think it is just part of the process. Some seem to go in a more direct route but others twists and turns but arrive too

    • Have to agree with ya there, Serenaville. No doubt you’re gaining valuable experience, albeit a kick in the guts from lapsing-out. Ouch, alright. You know the drill, keep rowin’ that boat in the right direction. We’re on your side. You better believe it. xo

    • Hi @Serenaville! Go easy on yourself, this is not easy. For me, that awful feeling of being hungover again, knowing alcohol was wrecking my life was my motivation to get sober. You can do this! Keep posting. : )

    • Don’t be too down on yourself as @JM says this isn’t easy – I was just reading something on Pinterest about sobriety and one part said that we are all surrounded by failure and we should embrace it (a strange statement I thought) but when explained it really did make sense – like if you think about it the simple light bulb was originally a project that didn’t work the first, second or maybe the third time – but the finished project gave us light! Keep going – you’re doing great xx

    • But it’s not. I know it feels like it but it’s not. I used to think it’s like being on a diet but every time you eat a chocolate biscuit you gain ten kg!!!

      It’s actually like you are walking a maze…as long as you go back to the last time you knew where you were and signpost the wrong way then you’re ok. Just keep moving forward.

    • Hi @Serenaville . Relapse feels like complete s***, but it’s not. It is a cloud with a silver lining. It is education… essential education. Some things I could learn by listening to the experience of others, but some things I had to go out and learn first-hand. I wish it wasn’t so but that’s how it is. But we learn and grow most powerfully from our mistakes… that’s how the brain works, and you have just learned something important. You’ve probably just learned that this problem is a tough nut to crack… harder than you thought. Well you know that now, and you can raise your game accordingly.

      Nothing is lost in relapse. Your achievements still stand, and what you know is still known. All that is lost is the number in the little orange box… but that’s not what’s important. That number has gone back to 1, but that doesn’t mean you are back at the start of recovery… you are not, you are well advanced along that path. The number 1 counts sobriety, not recovery, and they are very different things. You are back at the start of continuous days of sobriety, but you are not back at the start of recovery.

      Take stock. Learn the lessons to be learned, and press on stronger and wiser for the experience.

      You might find these helpful: https://bit.ly/2nwbeyj and https://bit.ly/2P0Ifzv

  • Day 1. Again. Time to move on and stop kidding myself. I wish I could hold my resolve.

    • Well you have the resolve to come back to day 1 that’s really strong in my book!

    • Well done for coming back, we can do this xx

    • Well done on day 1 @serenaville 🙂 You can do this. It sounds like you may need to use a few more ‘sober tools’. What are you doing to support yourself? In the early days of sobriety I found it helpful to read sobriety books and listen to podcasts daily, I had a soak in a bubble bath each evening, ate chocolate, and went to bed early! Also, checking in here regularly was vital for me. Hope that helps. If you want any book recommendations then just ask. 🙂

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good move @Limeandsoda. Everything is here to help you step into your new fabulously happy and sober life. No more time wasted to booze and everything that brings. Be proud of your decision.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • Serenaville posted an update 12 months ago

    Tonight I feel terribly sad that I am unable to drink normally. My husband won’t drink on his own and I’m sure he’s missing that hour (for him) to enjoy a few drinks. I’m hosed off right now.

    • Hi @serenaville don’t feel sad, you’ve made an awesome choice not to drink, play it forward, you… and probably your husband… will feel better for not drinking even though you might feel you miss it at this moment in time 🙂 Big hugs xx

    • Hi @Serenaville is it possible for you and your husband to find something else that you can do together during this time? go for a walk, hug a tree, cook something– this can give the same buzz that u get from a drink. One thing I have never understood is that given the damage alcohol does to relationships/families, is why a spouse/partner of an alcoholic would want alcohol in the house, as for drinking it in front of them—- there is nothing abnormal about not drinking alcohol

    • Would he really notice if you had a lovely mock tail and he had a beer or whatever he fancies? Check out MrsDs blogs on Its not what’s in the glass. They are so very helpful.

    • You know what? It’s totally ok and normal to grieve. We all grieve. Becoming sober means losing certain things, even if it’s overall the best decision for our health. It’s like giving up an abusive relationship. We knew it wasn’t good and was leading nowhere safe and happy…but….we are still allowed to grieve.

      oxoxxoxo

      Whatever comes up, will pass. Those feelings come and go….and over time they show up less and less and less….kinda like the Jehova’s witnesses who gave up sometimes around 2014 to convert hubby and me. 😉 Ok, all jokes aside….your feelings matter and you have my compassion.

      In the early months it can be so hard to experience all those stages of grief…and it is REAL grief….the anger…the bargaining….the denial…more anger…..a wee bit of acceptance….more anger….more sadness……more grief…..eventually more and more gentle and freeing acceptance.

      oxox

      You have got this.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Frost on the ground here @Joni but I’ve got my running gear on. Congratulations on your milestone.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Good decision. Time to kick this to the curb and have the life you deserve.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Haha. Gave me a laugh Mtedenmummy.

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 year ago

    Beautiful sunrise in Canterbury. It’s going to be a great day to get my sober self out there.

    • I can see the pink glow thru my curtains. Waking up hangover free NEVER gets old x

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Good going lisanow. All those baby steps add up and remember it’s always good to be moving forwards.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Stop now. Quicker turn around time. Talk to your spouse when the dust settles. They’ll be feeling sad and lonely too.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    I can relate to both days and know which one is the keeper. Thank you so much for the reminder of how the highs and lows play out. We deserve the best day we can get.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Years ago you just got a small green bin for all recyclables. I would hide the bottles at the bottom and cover them with newspapers. With the big yellow bins you can biff a ton of empties in there. Not us anymore though. Good job.

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 year ago

    Getting sober is like getting well after an illness, which I guess is exactly what it is. Each day brings something that makes me feel strong and healthy and I’m loving the feeling of becoming whole again. I’ve recently repaired a fractured friendship that I buggered up years ago by behaving badly when I was drunk and it feels so good. Today I am grateful and extremely thankful for you all.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Thanks @Oceania and @sobermommy1014. Head down, one foot after the other. I really appreciate your replies.

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 year ago

    I’m at day 40 and loving this new life. However I have to dig deep to get that rush of energy and enthusiasm at 5pm. I don’t actually need a rush, anything would be great. I make myself work through the motions even though I really want to snack and sleep. I’m full of the joys of sober living, just wish I could feel it at the end of the day.

    • Yay 40 days ! Things will fall into place the further you go in this journey you’ll be amazed at how much more time and energy you will have , your doing great !!!

    • Hey there -i’m at day 42 and dealing with some boredom issues too. I’m not sure how i’m actually getting through it -i’m pretty much gritting my teeth and just going to be early most days. Sorry, not too helpful, but know you aren’t alone. xo

    • Thanks @Oceania and @sobermommy1014. Head down, one foot after the other. I really appreciate your replies.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    That’s a bit rude don’t you think? It’s so personal @Lotta, how do people cross the good manners line so easily? I’m fearful of conversations about my drinking so only ever talk about it here.

    • Mrs D replied 1 year ago

      this one person I actually know from 20 years ago (we studied together) so even though I haven’t seen her in years there is a history there which is probably part of the reason why she’s being so openly curious (also she’s just like that 🙂 ).

    • Ro replied 1 year ago

      You’ll get over that @serenaville I probably wouldn’t tell people I was an alcoholic-and I don’t really think I was one, but I’ve always struggled with addiction mostly cigs and weed, alcohol was a recent addition to the quiver. I couldn’t give a flying fuck what other people other than those I care about think of me-I know I’m a really good person, with morals and ethics. I’m only just over a year sober-I love telling people now. Im really proud of myself and my will to self improve 🙂

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    I’ve told no one. I couldn’t stand to have a conversation with anyone who doesn’t get it. Everything I need is on this website.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Great quote @HappyNess. I’ll carry that with me.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    I hope you have better luck with the book than I had @Ro. I was sober and I found it an arse.

    • Ro replied 1 year ago

      I loved it the first time @serenaville sent it up to my Mum and she didn’t like it either but then she lent it to her brother and he loved it. I had no idea it was set in NZ and I’m from Dunedin originally so I really liked imagining what it would have been like in those days. Very wordy though. I love that a kiwi girl won the Man Booker too 🙂

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 year ago

    Home alone and ploughing my way through a pack of Lindt chocolate balls left over from Christmas. It’s not ideal but a major improvement on all the wine I would have had not so long ago.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Hope that whistle of yours doesn’t get lost @Ro. What a cool thing to be able to do. Sounds like you and your partner have got yourselves together. As always, a joy to read your post.

    • Kimbo replied 1 year ago

      I hope your whistle doesn’t go too! Congratulations to your partner on 365 days!!!!

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Great trip report @tim. You’ve made a good choice with your new lifestyle.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    @Liberty you are a star! I loved reading your post, it is me and everyone here (and not here)in a nutshell. A big thank you for putting my life in words.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    I went to a concert last night @Synchrony without any alcohol on board. What a difference. No anxiously about preloading, no hot sweats, no worrying about breathing toxic fumes on everyone. I came away feeling great. Woke up feeling great and haven’t looked back. Enjoy your evening.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    @pooks45 all credit to you for ticking everything on your list. There’s no time for booze.

  • Sweet sober Saturday. I have the day ahead full of events to get through with a clear smug head. I feel humble and grateful, slightly tearful but happy as a pig in poo.

  • What a change of pace this Friday afternoon. In the past I would have been excited and nervous at where my drinking would end up. I wouldn’t have been eating much in the hope of a quick buzz. Today however I’m tucking into a curry washed down with tea and chocolate biscuits. Not perfect but actually it is

    • Sounds delicious!

    • Eating is always better than drinking! Enjoy.

    • I always used to do the same – definitely minimum food intake for best hit from the booze.
      What a sad cycle. When our bodies actually needed food and nourishment, we poured booze into it instead.
      I’m glad to hear you’ve done what you have – sounds perfect to me 🙂

    • Sounds perfect. Yep I was the same. Mostly drank on an empty stomach, most often the reason I got messy on half a bottle of wine lol

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Congratulations. A great moment for you.

  • I’m loving these super sober days. There’s nothing to keep me from going full tilt at every single thing. Please let me hold these thoughts close. There’s no room for booze.

    • All great thoughts. You can do this. Gets easier and better as time passes. No time for booze. : )

    • Keep on loving these sober days! They are the best days. Well done xxx

    • Sober days are the best days…..so much easier to handle “life stuff” sober…..
      Shit still hits the fan, that is life. But we show up in the best condition we can be in when not drinking.

      oxoxox

      So glad you to hear you sound positive and loving those feelings! You deserve to feel good about your sobriety. You worked and continue to work hard for it.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Me too @reginald. How’s things?

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Welcome to Living Sober @LoveMatters. You’ll find everything you need to have a great sober life here.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Welcome @Spike. You’ll find everything you need here to help you live the best life that you can. Keep in touch.

  • Heading into the weekend confident, calm and very content that I’m not going to mess up.

  • Hey @reginald. You back on your horse? Let us know how you’re doing.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    I’d be with you if I wasn’t on the other side of the world @IslandOne. It sounds like a perfect way to start the day. You had me at scooter.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    I’m hearing you @R51. I’m keeping myself close to home until I can get the grip you seem to have on holidays. Just think about the lovely sunny days not being wasted wasted. Haha. This is the new you.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    @Joni nothing like a run to clear your head and gather your thoughts. Well done.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    @SeeWee. He sounds like a nice person. Give yourself a break and give him the benefit of the doubt and don’t overthink it.

    • Wanting to succeed in my new relationship (now marriage) was a huge motivator for me to quit drinking. So much at stake. That helped me get started, but it is not what is keeping me going. It is about honoring my life, my spirit, my body…

      • Thank you @mindfulmere

        Did you do this with your now husband? Make this mistake and quickly fix it?

        I haven’t seen my boyfriend since that night- we are texting as usual- but I am still on edge about wether or not we are damaged. I was not nice. Turns out I’m a mean drunk- like my sister.

        She said the other day ‘we all have issues with it’ meaning all my siblings – there are six.

        Your response meant a lot to me because I feel maybe you may know where I am right now and how I feel…wanting to NEVER allow an episode like this to happen again, and hoping my relationship with my bf can go back to normal before this ever happened.

        He said ‘it’s ok, it’s in the past’ I just hope he meant it-

        Regardless- I can’t have this happen again.

        Since dating him, I have drank more than usual to keep up with him. Not his fault, but it snuck up on me – old habits of overdoing it.

        If he ends up leaving the relationship over that night- it will be a seriously terrible lesson to learn.

        We plan to see each other Thursday- until then .. i will be nervous…

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Hi @startfresh. Your new life sounds blissful. That is the life I want as I’m sure many on this site do. I guess something needs to come along to fill up some time for you. You’re in a most enviable position. Doing it sober has to be the better option.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Great to have you here @MelissaJane. I can relate to your profile, it’s such a scary thought to be giving up for ever however having drinking set the tone for ever doesn’t do thinking about either. That’s why I’m here. It’s early days for me but already the freedom feels amazing.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Yes. Done with deciding. THANKS for the clarity. Nothing else much to say is there?

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Welcome @Sri where ever you are on the path to a better life. This is a great place. Have a great day!

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Hello @barnaj. I’m not much further down the track from you but day one is the first day of freedom . I am appreciating waking hangover free with an early rising grandchild in the house. Being able to be a responsible grandparent is so important and certainty not worth a bottle or two. Go you.

  • It’s truly wonderful not to wake early and count up drinks and/or food.

    • I hear you!! Every weekend id caring walking into the lounge finding 4-6 empty bottles of wine my husband and I demolished and pizza boxes!! No more….very. much liking fwd to waking sober and healthy. Very post I read is an inspiration. Thank you

    • It is blissful isn’t it @Serenaville – my favourite part of the day!

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Well you have got it @°Kiwigirl2680. I am finding this site invaluable and feel certain you will get all the support you need here. You can relax now, no more hangovers.

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