• Serenaville posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 12. I’m loving the feeling of being ‘steady’, none of the big highs or lows depending on whether I was heading towards drinking or getting over it.

    • Congrats Day 12! I’m day 4 and finally getting some sleep.

    • The feeling of mental steadiness I have gained gives me a lot of confidence to continue on. Enjoy it!

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I used to absolutely love love love being home alone and drinking at my own pace. Thankfully the opportunity doesn’t arise now. I am impressed with your forward planning, it sounds like that’s what it’s all about.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Clever girl. You’re onto it.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    It’s a big plus having a smaller supermarket bill, no gallons of wine hidden amongst the groceries. It so easy to get wine, not good when you are struggling. Good on you staying strong.

    • Thanks @serenaville I had been staying away from the supermarket for a few days as I don’t remember not buying wine for ages, it got to be the reason I popped in every couple of days.

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 month ago

    9 days in and I’ve got through the three hairy weekend days that leave me full of remorse and sadness. I’ve been up exercising in the dark, making soup, vacuuming and probably being a bit manic but all this extra time with a happy heart is making me feel euphoric.

    • Lizk replied 1 month ago

      Good for you! Keep going. Keeping busy is good. 9 days is brilliant!

    • Well done!!

    • Oh wow – I wish I could catch some manic from you – nearly 5 years and that has never happened 🙁 But I do some things that I wouldn’t have – very dedicated to my weekend yoga classes when not working, but sadly, some tough jobs I used to do way better with wine to help 🙁 🙁

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Great result. I imagine you pulled out all the stops last night and today it’s pay back. Enjoy your run.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Great post rubyroo2.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Rebecca had her story in the Featured Post last week, under her name. There is a link to her list there. Let me know what you think when you’ve read it.

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 month ago

    I’m on day 6 and it’s been an easy haul because I am a weekend binger and haven’t been tested yet. I have been reading Rebecca’s list of positives and negatives and find it such a great tool to have in my head. I want to come out the other side of the next three days without any negatives. I feel strong and full of resolve at times and unconfident at others. I do know I’m tired of the exhaustion this roller coaster behaviour brings. Your posts continually inspire me to try harder.

    • What is Rebecca’s list of positives and negatives? im curious? sounds helpful

      • Rebecca had her story in the Featured Post last week, under her name. There is a link to her list there. Let me know what you think when you’ve read it.

      • Hi @womackm Here is the Rebecca list cut and pasted it from the post.

        THE SHIT THINGS:

        * Regularly got so boozed I couldn’t remember things I’d done or said
        * Prioritised booze over everything else
        * Jeopardised my professional reputation so I could booze
        * Breathed boozy fumes over my children at their bedtime
        * Repeated myself, slurred my words, eyes rolling in my head
        * Had sex with people I wouldn’t ever otherwise have sex with
        * Verged on getting sexually assaulted
        * Puking and puking and puking
        * Hitting my husband in the head with my fist (once – I am so ashamed)
        * Drunk bruises, one time to the extent that my friend asked if my husband was hitting me
        * Locked myself out of the apartment and had to pay $150 to get a locksmith to come in the middle of the weekend
        * Puked all over myself and the carpet of one of my best friend’s mother’s gorgeous old villa after a two year old’s birthday party
        * Came to sitting on the edge of a six storey building shouting “good morning!” to the people walking to the train station below. (Ok that one sounds kind of funny but I had post-trauma symptoms after that. It felt like such a near miss. I could have been dead.)
        * Spent my precious weekend days recovering from getting so smashed, only to do it all again the next evening
        * Was greedy about booze – tried to drink more than others, jealously guarding the bottle and hoping like hell no one else would have any more of “my” wine
        * Drank till I passed out
        * Found myself asleep on the sofa at 2am, with little or no memory of how I ended up there
        * Drank drove (told myself it was ok because I’d only had two or three glasses FFS)

        NOW FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT HAVE COME ABOUT SINCE I STOPPED:

        * My mood is so improved. I am calmer, less reactive, and my irritable mood has settled right down.
        * I have come off anti-depressants and I’m doing ok with that
        * I have noticed that my relationship with my husband became more relaxed, more humorous and more loving
        * I have lo…[Read more]

    • Envision yourself Monday morning waking up sober feeling massively proud of yourself. You CAN do this. Listen to podcasts over the weekend to help you through. 😊

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Your strength and courage is to be admired.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    That’s encouraging @Lee@. What a lovely feeling that must be.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hi there @InkPink. Take care of yourself today and like me, remind yourself that you deserve better than this. My day two and I’m a bit bruised and battered but determined to get myself together. You too ok?

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Great turn around. It sounds like a great day coming up. We’ll done!

  • New start.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Lucky

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Clever words.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    You are doing a good job @DaveH. Thank you so much for your reply to my earlier post. Fabulous words.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    You’re a good neighbor Ro.

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 year ago

    When I relapse it’s like everything positive I have ever achieved gets cancelled. It’s heart breaking to feel so useless.

    • Yep know the feeling, but I think it is just part of the process. Some seem to go in a more direct route but others twists and turns but arrive too

    • Have to agree with ya there, Serenaville. No doubt you’re gaining valuable experience, albeit a kick in the guts from lapsing-out. Ouch, alright. You know the drill, keep rowin’ that boat in the right direction. We’re on your side. You better believe it. xo

    • JM replied 1 year ago

      Hi @Serenaville! Go easy on yourself, this is not easy. For me, that awful feeling of being hungover again, knowing alcohol was wrecking my life was my motivation to get sober. You can do this! Keep posting. : )

    • Don’t be too down on yourself as @JM says this isn’t easy – I was just reading something on Pinterest about sobriety and one part said that we are all surrounded by failure and we should embrace it (a strange statement I thought) but when explained it really did make sense – like if you think about it the simple light bulb was originally a project that didn’t work the first, second or maybe the third time – but the finished project gave us light! Keep going – you’re doing great xx

    • But it’s not. I know it feels like it but it’s not. I used to think it’s like being on a diet but every time you eat a chocolate biscuit you gain ten kg!!!

      It’s actually like you are walking a maze…as long as you go back to the last time you knew where you were and signpost the wrong way then you’re ok. Just keep moving forward.

    • DaveH replied 1 year ago

      Hi @Serenaville . Relapse feels like complete s***, but it’s not. It is a cloud with a silver lining. It is education… essential education. Some things I could learn by listening to the experience of others, but some things I had to go out and learn first-hand. I wish it wasn’t so but that’s how it is. But we learn and grow most powerfully from our mistakes… that’s how the brain works, and you have just learned something important. You’ve probably just learned that this problem is a tough nut to crack… harder than you thought. Well you know that now, and you can raise your game accordingly.

      Nothing is lost in relapse. Your achievements still stand, and what you know is still known. All that is lost is the number in the little orange box… but that’s not what’s important. That number has gone back to 1, but that doesn’t mean you are back at the start of recovery… you are not, you are well advanced along that path. The number 1 counts sobriety, not recovery, and they are very different things. You are back at the start of continuous days of sobriety, but you are not back at the start of recovery.

      Take stock. Learn the lessons to be learned, and press on stronger and wiser for the experience.

      You might find these helpful: https://bit.ly/2nwbeyj and https://bit.ly/2P0Ifzv

  • Serenaville posted an update 1 year ago

    Day 1. Again. Time to move on and stop kidding myself. I wish I could hold my resolve.

    • zulu replied 1 year ago

      Well you have the resolve to come back to day 1 that’s really strong in my book!

    • Well done for coming back, we can do this xx

    • Lizzy replied 1 year ago

      Well done on day 1 @serenaville 🙂 You can do this. It sounds like you may need to use a few more ‘sober tools’. What are you doing to support yourself? In the early days of sobriety I found it helpful to read sobriety books and listen to podcasts daily, I had a soak in a bubble bath each evening, ate chocolate, and went to bed early! Also, checking in here regularly was vital for me. Hope that helps. If you want any book recommendations then just ask. 🙂

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Good move @Limeandsoda. Everything is here to help you step into your new fabulously happy and sober life. No more time wasted to booze and everything that brings. Be proud of your decision.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • Tonight I feel terribly sad that I am unable to drink normally. My husband won’t drink on his own and I’m sure he’s missing that hour (for him) to enjoy a few drinks. I’m hosed off right now.

    • Hi @serenaville don’t feel sad, you’ve made an awesome choice not to drink, play it forward, you… and probably your husband… will feel better for not drinking even though you might feel you miss it at this moment in time 🙂 Big hugs xx

    • Hi @Serenaville is it possible for you and your husband to find something else that you can do together during this time? go for a walk, hug a tree, cook something– this can give the same buzz that u get from a drink. One thing I have never understood is that given the damage alcohol does to relationships/families, is why a spouse/partner of an alcoholic would want alcohol in the house, as for drinking it in front of them—- there is nothing abnormal about not drinking alcohol

    • Would he really notice if you had a lovely mock tail and he had a beer or whatever he fancies? Check out MrsDs blogs on Its not what’s in the glass. They are so very helpful.

    • You know what? It’s totally ok and normal to grieve. We all grieve. Becoming sober means losing certain things, even if it’s overall the best decision for our health. It’s like giving up an abusive relationship. We knew it wasn’t good and was leading nowhere safe and happy…but….we are still allowed to grieve.

      oxoxxoxo

      Whatever comes up, will pass. Those feelings come and go….and over time they show up less and less and less….kinda like the Jehova’s witnesses who gave up sometimes around 2014 to convert hubby and me. 😉 Ok, all jokes aside….your feelings matter and you have my compassion.

      In the early months it can be so hard to experience all those stages of grief…and it is REAL grief….the anger…the bargaining….the denial…more anger…..a wee bit of acceptance….more anger….more sadness……more grief…..eventually more and more gentle and freeing acceptance.

      oxox

      You have got this.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Frost on the ground here @Joni but I’ve got my running gear on. Congratulations on your milestone.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Good decision. Time to kick this to the curb and have the life you deserve.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Haha. Gave me a laugh Mtedenmummy.

  • Beautiful sunrise in Canterbury. It’s going to be a great day to get my sober self out there.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Good going lisanow. All those baby steps add up and remember it’s always good to be moving forwards.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Stop now. Quicker turn around time. Talk to your spouse when the dust settles. They’ll be feeling sad and lonely too.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I can relate to both days and know which one is the keeper. Thank you so much for the reminder of how the highs and lows play out. We deserve the best day we can get.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Years ago you just got a small green bin for all recyclables. I would hide the bottles at the bottom and cover them with newspapers. With the big yellow bins you can biff a ton of empties in there. Not us anymore though. Good job.

  • Getting sober is like getting well after an illness, which I guess is exactly what it is. Each day brings something that makes me feel strong and healthy and I’m loving the feeling of becoming whole again. I’ve recently repaired a fractured friendship that I buggered up years ago by behaving badly when I was drunk and it feels so good. Today I am grateful and extremely thankful for you all.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Thanks @Oceania and @sobermommy1014. Head down, one foot after the other. I really appreciate your replies.

  • I’m at day 40 and loving this new life. However I have to dig deep to get that rush of energy and enthusiasm at 5pm. I don’t actually need a rush, anything would be great. I make myself work through the motions even though I really want to snack and sleep. I’m full of the joys of sober living, just wish I could feel it at the end of the day.

    • Yay 40 days ! Things will fall into place the further you go in this journey you’ll be amazed at how much more time and energy you will have , your doing great !!!

    • Hey there -i’m at day 42 and dealing with some boredom issues too. I’m not sure how i’m actually getting through it -i’m pretty much gritting my teeth and just going to be early most days. Sorry, not too helpful, but know you aren’t alone. xo

    • Thanks @Oceania and @sobermommy1014. Head down, one foot after the other. I really appreciate your replies.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    That’s a bit rude don’t you think? It’s so personal @Lotta, how do people cross the good manners line so easily? I’m fearful of conversations about my drinking so only ever talk about it here.

    • this one person I actually know from 20 years ago (we studied together) so even though I haven’t seen her in years there is a history there which is probably part of the reason why she’s being so openly curious (also she’s just like that 🙂 ).

    • You’ll get over that @serenaville I probably wouldn’t tell people I was an alcoholic-and I don’t really think I was one, but I’ve always struggled with addiction mostly cigs and weed, alcohol was a recent addition to the quiver. I couldn’t give a flying fuck what other people other than those I care about think of me-I know I’m a really good person, with morals and ethics. I’m only just over a year sober-I love telling people now. Im really proud of myself and my will to self improve 🙂

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I’ve told no one. I couldn’t stand to have a conversation with anyone who doesn’t get it. Everything I need is on this website.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Great quote @HappyNess. I’ll carry that with me.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I hope you have better luck with the book than I had @Ro. I was sober and I found it an arse.

    • I loved it the first time @serenaville sent it up to my Mum and she didn’t like it either but then she lent it to her brother and he loved it. I had no idea it was set in NZ and I’m from Dunedin originally so I really liked imagining what it would have been like in those days. Very wordy though. I love that a kiwi girl won the Man Booker too 🙂

  • Home alone and ploughing my way through a pack of Lindt chocolate balls left over from Christmas. It’s not ideal but a major improvement on all the wine I would have had not so long ago.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Hope that whistle of yours doesn’t get lost @Ro. What a cool thing to be able to do. Sounds like you and your partner have got yourselves together. As always, a joy to read your post.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Great trip report @tim. You’ve made a good choice with your new lifestyle.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    @Liberty you are a star! I loved reading your post, it is me and everyone here (and not here)in a nutshell. A big thank you for putting my life in words.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I went to a concert last night @Synchrony without any alcohol on board. What a difference. No anxiously about preloading, no hot sweats, no worrying about breathing toxic fumes on everyone. I came away feeling great. Woke up feeling great and haven’t looked back. Enjoy your evening.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    @pooks45 all credit to you for ticking everything on your list. There’s no time for booze.

  • Sweet sober Saturday. I have the day ahead full of events to get through with a clear smug head. I feel humble and grateful, slightly tearful but happy as a pig in poo.

  • What a change of pace this Friday afternoon. In the past I would have been excited and nervous at where my drinking would end up. I wouldn’t have been eating much in the hope of a quick buzz. Today however I’m tucking into a curry washed down with tea and chocolate biscuits. Not perfect but actually it is

    • Sounds delicious!

    • Eating is always better than drinking! Enjoy.

    • I always used to do the same – definitely minimum food intake for best hit from the booze.
      What a sad cycle. When our bodies actually needed food and nourishment, we poured booze into it instead.
      I’m glad to hear you’ve done what you have – sounds perfect to me 🙂

    • Sounds perfect. Yep I was the same. Mostly drank on an empty stomach, most often the reason I got messy on half a bottle of wine lol

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Congratulations. A great moment for you.

  • I’m loving these super sober days. There’s nothing to keep me from going full tilt at every single thing. Please let me hold these thoughts close. There’s no room for booze.

    • All great thoughts. You can do this. Gets easier and better as time passes. No time for booze. : )

    • Keep on loving these sober days! They are the best days. Well done xxx

    • Sober days are the best days…..so much easier to handle “life stuff” sober…..
      Shit still hits the fan, that is life. But we show up in the best condition we can be in when not drinking.

      oxoxox

      So glad you to hear you sound positive and loving those feelings! You deserve to feel good about your sobriety. You worked and continue to work hard for it.

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Me too @reginald. How’s things?

  • Serenaville posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Welcome to Living Sober @LoveMatters. You’ll find everything you need to have a great sober life here.

  • Load More