• Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Yes yes yes πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hey @Tom4500, it’s great to be able to miss the milestones, it’s not the most important thing anymore πŸ™‚ I’m amazed by that wonderful little sentence I’LL NEVER DRINK AGAIN, tears in my eyes!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hey @amandaallen, welcome here πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Some of the past comments let me think about mistakes. I’m really glad that so many things in my life got better since I’m clear in my head round the clock. It’s not exaggerated to say that I found my true self with a bundle of emotions and characteristics I’ve been missing for many years. But also my mistakes and imperfections are now clearly in front of me. They are not warped, boosted, moderated or changed by chemical reactions in my brain. They just are here for real and I have the chance to deal with them. When I’m angry, impatient, unfair, nervous.. I now know this is pure ME. That’s how I am and I can now decide to accept and excuse this mistake or to do change something and make it better. Competence and responsibility for one’s own life means to be able to get along with the negative sides in everyone of us. Feels good πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    The most important thing for me! Thank you πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    The bad memories are the strongest. I’m glad that my mistakes are not increased by the effect of drinking anymore – makes the difference between impatient and count to ten or impatient and shout at the children. Thanks for your kind words πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thank you, of course I got all those faults and imperfections like everyone, but now they are really mine… I will go on dealing with them πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    So sorry about this, life sometimes is unfair πŸ™

    • Yes, but hopefully she will stop being such a perfectionist. Passing is GOOD! Fortunately she thinks she did ok in a really hideous exam – 120 lectures, maths, formulas, chemistry – I don’t know how she does it πŸ™
      Happy day

  • Seni posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Just flew over some posts cause I don’t have the time to read πŸ™ I had to help my daughter with a power point presentation about Hollywood, her notebook collapsed, tears, swears, newstart… now we go to bed. And again I’m happy to be sober and to be able to help patiently as good as I can. I appreciate being a better mum than the years before and try not to blame myself constantly cause I made so many mistakes, I can’t change the past. But I can decide about the present and the future πŸ™‚ Good night!

    • Great attitude @Seni! Great parenting decision to be sober!! : )

    • You’ve given your daughter the best possible gift-a sober Momma! Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes in the past, I bet all of it wasn’t as bad as you remember (or not). We’re not all mean, sloppy people every time we drink, sometimes people actually like us better!

      • The bad memories are the strongest. I’m glad that my mistakes are not increased by the effect of drinking anymore – makes the difference between impatient and count to ten or impatient and shout at the children. Thanks for your kind words πŸ™‚

    • Way to go for a real parent-ing moment right there, Seni!!!
      oxox You sound like such a loving and kind mom and teacher.

      • Thank you, of course I got all those faults and imperfections like everyone, but now they are really mine… I will go on dealing with them πŸ™‚

    • I had the tears from afar last night – my angel got a bad grade, most unfair as the brief was not at all clear. such a high achiever though – she had already passed the course, so …!!!!!

      • So sorry about this, life sometimes is unfair πŸ™

        • Yes, but hopefully she will stop being such a perfectionist. Passing is GOOD! Fortunately she thinks she did ok in a really hideous exam – 120 lectures, maths, formulas, chemistry – I don’t know how she does it πŸ™
          Happy day

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    How great you can be there for her, hold her, give warmth πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hey @jocord, that sounds perfect, one summer to learn and the next summer to enjoy… The memory of dehydration is in my mind too, I want fresh, sparkling, healthy drinks, not the Gobi desert in my mouth πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hey, welcome here πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Congrats, what a great number 296!!! I loooove winter, it’s so cosy πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I would say, listen to your heart πŸ™‚ I think it knows if you are ready to do this or if you still need some time.

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I’m sorry for your loss, alcohol destroys lives in one or the other way!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I just remember reading, reading, reading – this blog, the fantastic books from people telling about their lives (I read them again and again, couldn’t get enough of those experiences, thoughts, verities) and I watched documentaries on TV and Youtube, also again and again. It was heavy brain-washing and I did it as long as I had the desire to do it. It became less meanwhile, but from time to time I need to refresh… In my mind there was built up a total new view of alcohol, it became disgusting and absurd for me to drink the longer I dealt with those stories.

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    This should be duplicated and sent to absolutely everyone in here and out there who deals with the problem… It is so, so, so true and helpful

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Rich in so many ways, wonderful!!! πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    How sad! It seems you are really very competent about your needs and are doing right what it takes – well done πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Good job @Liam! These damn habits we were so used to for such a long time, it takes time to overcome them. It is useful to create new ones.

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    It’s not so special… I have always ginger in the fridge and mint and sage in the garden. Throw a slice of ginger and some leafs of mint and sage into the pot, hot water, that’s it. Sometimes with honey, sometimes pure. When I want to wake up, I take lots of ginger – that is stimulating in another way than coffee (I also like!) πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thank you so much!!!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Uh, there were only 28 degrees today, but it felt like 40. My children, the dog and my husband hang around without any energy and so do I! We have to get used to summer, it comes so suddenly… πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I heard that Germans drink twice as much as the average European. In fact I don’t know anybody who doesn’t drink. I don’t know anybody who talks critically about alcohol (except of my mother, she was married to an alcoholic). I only know people (and there are lots of moderate drinkers and responsible persons like teachers and parents who know about the evil consequences of alcohol abuse) who blame other people if they drink to much or get into addiction – they would never blame the alcohol, the alcohol industry or the alcohol lobby. Alcohol in Germany is a sacred cow, inviolable (like cars, you may never criticize cars in Germany, although they kill and poison the air…)! When smoking advertisement and smoking in bars and restaurants was forbidden, people were disgusted. But they got used to it and most people wouldn’t go back to the old smokey times again. I hope, that there will be a change in the alcohol issue one day…

  • Seni posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 135. It’s my 15th wedding anniversary and it became so hot, suddenly sommer’s there! My circulation makes some problems so I will try to have a calm, lazy day in the shady garden. Lots of self made ginger-mint-sage-tea will do me fine πŸ™‚ Summer greetings from Germany!

    • Sounds like a pleasant way to spend the day. Fifteen years married, congratulations! Your day counter is becoming impressive; I wonder, how prevalent is drinking in Germany? Do most adults drink?

      • I heard that Germans drink twice as much as the average European. In fact I don’t know anybody who doesn’t drink. I don’t know anybody who talks critically about alcohol (except of my mother, she was married to an alcoholic). I only know people (and there are lots of moderate drinkers and responsible persons like teachers and parents who know about the evil consequences of alcohol abuse) who blame other people if they drink to much or get into addiction – they would never blame the alcohol, the alcohol industry or the alcohol lobby. Alcohol in Germany is a sacred cow, inviolable (like cars, you may never criticize cars in Germany, although they kill and poison the air…)! When smoking advertisement and smoking in bars and restaurants was forbidden, people were disgusted. But they got used to it and most people wouldn’t go back to the old smokey times again. I hope, that there will be a change in the alcohol issue one day…

    • Happy 15th wedding anniversary!!! Day 135 and lots of tea…..bliss! Summer in Germany is the best time and place ever!
      I do remember growing up though it’s hard to keep the house cool during the very hot days. Shady garden it is. πŸ™‚
      xoxoxoxo

      • Uh, there were only 28 degrees today, but it felt like 40. My children, the dog and my husband hang around without any energy and so do I! We have to get used to summer, it comes so suddenly… πŸ™‚

    • Aww Happy Anniversary @seni!💗🌷

    • Congrats on day 135 and your wedding anniversary!!!! Can you share your tea recipe? That sounds wonderful!

      • It’s not so special… I have always ginger in the fridge and mint and sage in the garden. Throw a slice of ginger and some leafs of mint and sage into the pot, hot water, that’s it. Sometimes with honey, sometimes pure. When I want to wake up, I take lots of ginger – that is stimulating in another way than coffee (I also like!) πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    You are right, makes sense to be grateful and modest πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Waves, that’s a good picture. When it goes down, it will go up again, we just have to wait, be conscious and patient instead of fooling around with the wine witch!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    This guy has a big fat problem, astounding that he’s got friends, a girl friend… he acts out his bad temper at the cost of other peoples mood. Little children may behave like that but for an adult that’s childish and selfish, isn’t it? Perhaps he should feel some consequences… I know what you mean, since I stopped drinking I’m also observing, I see things I didn’t notice before. Not to judge is a good way, just watch, listen and feel your own emotions, build an opinion, take the studies to reposition oneself if necessary – that’s so interesting and thrilling!

    • Seni, thanks so very much for your view on this situation!! I will pass on the replies I got here to my friend in case she needs some back-up support some day soon….I have a feeling she won’t put up with that much longer. It’s pretty bad and my tolerance level is skewed and rather high due to my childhood. If I find something is wrong….it is usually already pretty bad. I still rely on others to point out unhealthy behaviors and it’s rare I spot it on my own right away. oxoxoxxo
      So glad I got my sober tribe here to share those things with. Learning and growing from all of you guys here every day!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hey @Ro, I love quotes to think about and maybe change a point of view… Yesterday I read (suits here I think) “Being a healthy woman is not about getting on a scale or measuring your waistline” (Michelle Obama) Mental and physical health is a big gift, I appreciate it since I stopped poisoning myself πŸ™‚

    • Yep a great quote can certainly shed light on situations in life. Nice quote Mrs Obama πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    That’s what I mean @kaydee. This wine witch wants to lead us down the garden path, we should never forget…

  • Seni posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Day 134. I have to look at the calendar because I’m not counting all the time any more. It became common somehow not to drink. That doesn’t mean that I should be careless. The distance to those bad experiences, to hangovers and blackouts, to being an angry mother or an always tired teacher, this distance could be dangerous. I have to remind myself from time to time what I’m doing this for. How life was before. I’m grateful to be here, to have gone all this way. Have a nice weekend everyone πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Seni. Yes, it’s easy to forget how it used to be when you’ve got such a long time under your belt. I nearly reached 3 years but had a cocktail on holiday in Rarotonga. Now I’m back on day 12 after many regretful drinks later which become more and more each session. Evil wine witch had me good.

      • Love it kaydee, evil wine witch… will use that!

        • It’s all yours. I find cursing out the evil wine witch when she starts whispering helps me to be strong and resist. I imagine all Crone looking, like a cartoon figure. She ain’t getting her claws into me today.

      • Day 12 PLUS nearly THREE YEARS @Kaydee – never ever let that go, and feel free to flaunt your wonderful achievement every post πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

        • Hmmm that’s true @morgan. It did nearly 3 years which I sweep under the rug cos I relapsed. Maybe I shouldn’t? If I added up the time I did 1 year and celebrated with a wine and the several one month stints it’s probably more like 5 years in total. Let’s say I’ve had loads of practice at not drinking and lived thru it. 😃.

      • That’s what I mean @kaydee. This wine witch wants to lead us down the garden path, we should never forget…

    • 134!!!
      oxoxoxo
      Oh I had many of those waves where I thought: “Ok, I got sober just like that. I am not like THEM….those people with real drinking issues….I can totally drink again and probably moderate now anyways. Fuck it.”

      ….drinks moderately for 2-3 events….then gets hammered again and throws up all day the next day.
      Rinse and repeat.

      Turns out…I do have a problem.

      • Waves, that’s a good picture. When it goes down, it will go up again, we just have to wait, be conscious and patient instead of fooling around with the wine witch!

    • You’re doing wonderfully @Seni! Becoming complacent is my worst fear. I thank God each night and morning for flipping that switch to off in my brain and giving me the gift of sobriety.

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    How great you took that wonderful “first aid kit”, the podcast, the walk, the music – instead of choosing the “easy” way what would have lead you into deep trouble and self blaming! πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    You are doing great @happymoods, with all those ups and downs you don’t loose your aim. You are getting more and more control about your life, walking over sticks and stones sometimes, as we say here. The training makes it easier with every day, week, month. Stay careful and optimistic! πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    What a good experience! How good to be proud and thankful for a nice AF lunch and a wonderful healthy morning πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Greatings from day 134, I absolutely agree! It’s great, sometimes hard, sometimes disillusioning, but 99% a really intensive and fantastic experience to be oneself in every moment of this precious life! πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    How great just to be a “non-drinker” without giving a reason! Perhaps – hopefully – there will be more and more just not drinking (for what reason ever) people in the future πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hey @aveline75, welcome to this nice place!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hey @Prudence, technique isn’t a friend of mine, can make me run mad… Now that boozing is not an option anymore, sweet delicacies are a wonderful sin – without regrets (if not eaten three times a day…) Have a nice day, I will go to bed right now, tomorrow a shopping tour with my daughters is planned!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you @Prudence, I appreciate your kindness! πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks for your words, sometimes things come up in my mind suddenly and unexpectedly and I have a great need to share them with people who understand. Good to be here πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I thank you for your posts, they are always precious for me πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Damn, I lost a post but I’d like to repeat my thoughts (there was a reply from you @Buckeyeone, but I couldn’t read it – ERROR πŸ™ ) I am really touched by all the things I read about your lives: many of you not only struggle with an addiction or alcohol abuse, there are so much more problems you have to come over like child abuse, other kind of violence or really hard disappointing experiences in your lives. But you all fight for your right to live a happy, healthy and fulfilled life. And meanwhile you are raising children, doing your jobs, caring for old parents, supporting family, partners, friends and all this members here.. I admire your strength and your wisdom. Don’t blame yourselves if your fail, if the wine witch, beer witch, whisky witch caught you again. You get up every time and go on fighting, you do your very best and you’re doing great! Your power is stimulation for me and many others, be proud of yourselves everyone! In my childhood I lived three lives. One was our family life with a drinking highly aggressive father – a secret life, of course. The second life I spent in a bloody christian sect where we played happy, God fearing family. And the third life for me was the “normal” one. When I was outside, with friends or at school, a normal child or teenager. Of course nobody knew about the other lives. Since I’m sober I’m becoming aware of what happened to me in this first part of my life, an important part, childhood and adolescence. So many reasons why we loose control about our lives but we are heading for getting it back! Let us no longer be marionettes, let us cut the strings even if it hurts and at last be the captain on our own ships! πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hey @Mari135, I am so happy to read these words “Sober and loving it”, I know that feeling and I am so glad for everyone who found this! You are really taking great care of yourself, looking at your life, your past, being wise and asking for help, thinking about the future without “time to rush”… sounds wonderful!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome πŸ™‚

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I will try to read them now, I hesitated because English is not my first language. But I read other books yet, that were really helpful, too: Catherine Gray, Amy Liptrot, Claire Pooley (the German translations) and some German authors. I love to read about those experiences, all those wise thoughts by strong and conscious people are so very enlightening!

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    In Germany there is a discussion about forbidding advertising for alcohol, like it is forbidden for cigarettes. But the lobby is strong. Advertising has such an influence, the presence of alcohol in every day life and the belittlement is also a great problem. But excuse me and my English, what are RTDs?

    • RTD = Ready to Drink they are premixed bottles of spirit and mixer such as bourbon and coke, or Cruiser have flavors such as Mango Raspberry (vodka based) they range from 5 to 7 percent alcohol. You buy them in either boxes 12 or 24 or 4 packs or 6 packs. Common talk from young ones is “I drank a box”, or theres not much of my box left. (Said with pride sigh) Which is alot of alcohol.

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thank God we learned it. Now I’m trying to give an example to my daughters, not only by preaching, but by doing right. My one daughter is 14 and at this age we had started drinking on parties and smoking yet. But in her class, there is only one girl who does, and the others are absolutely not willing to admire her for this behavior. Opposite they are shocked, it’s not their way of being cool. Hope it will never be!

  • Seni posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I’ve been thinking about men and women today. Men who drink and smoke – that was expected, common behavior for a very long time. Why did women start to do the same? Because it was unexpected behavior, I think. Women wanted to emancipate themselves and the first and most easy thing was doing as men did. Meanwhile we know, that drinking (and smoking) is not cool but only dangerous and stupid. Younger people are much more critical and responsible, I think. For them the risk is much more present than for my generation. But to talk about women who tried to emancipate by copying men’s habits: when has a drunk woman ever been a feminist? I can’t remember that! But I remember lots of drunk women losing their dignity, behaving foolish like little girls.
    These are some of my thoughts this evening about how it started, lot of clichΓ©, I know! But I did actually think about myself, about friends – when we were younger, pretending to be a cool and self-assured girl of the 80s was only possible for us with lots of make up, a glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Later on, when we grew older, being cool was no longer the aim. But we had learned about our “little helpers” and so we went on abusing them. A glass (and a cigarette) against stress, a glass to relax, a glass as a reward… And than some day you wake up and recognize that you lost the control about your life long time ago.

    • You’ve made a very good point @seni a lot of young women are aiming to look adult and sophisticated by using alcohol and drugs. We’re so bombarded by advertising that tells us to be complete women we need booze. We’ve learned the hard way it completes nothing.

      • Thank God we learned it. Now I’m trying to give an example to my daughters, not only by preaching, but by doing right. My one daughter is 14 and at this age we had started drinking on parties and smoking yet. But in her class, there is only one girl who does, and the others are absolutely not willing to admire her for this behavior. Opposite they are shocked, it’s not their way of being cool. Hope it will never be!

    • I noticed over the last 20 years alcohol being marketed towards woman.Pre mix drinks are a classic example many of them using female colours, as well as advertising appearing in female magazines such as Cleo. When I was a teen makes drank beer, females wine and spirits such as bourbon and whiskey were for elders and Tia Maria etc was for after dinner with coffee on special occasions. The introduction of RTDs changed everything Also because they are sweet they get chugged down quickly. Whole new world

      • In Germany there is a discussion about forbidding advertising for alcohol, like it is forbidden for cigarettes. But the lobby is strong. Advertising has such an influence, the presence of alcohol in every day life and the belittlement is also a great problem. But excuse me and my English, what are RTDs?

        • RTD = Ready to Drink they are premixed bottles of spirit and mixer such as bourbon and coke, or Cruiser have flavors such as Mango Raspberry (vodka based) they range from 5 to 7 percent alcohol. You buy them in either boxes 12 or 24 or 4 packs or 6 packs. Common talk from young ones is “I drank a box”, or theres not much of my box left. (Said with pride sigh) Which is alot of alcohol.

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hey @jmpeche, you go through one day after another and it will work. You see everything very clearly and you didn’t give up but started again. What a good decision! Sometimes we need time to learn. Control drinking is a horrible up and down, you don’t think of anything but drinking (When? How much? How often?…), do you? That’s a prison, not the freedom we are all looking for. So go straight on, thumps up for your way! When I see your profile picture it seems there is a beautiful little child whom working hard is worth for…

  • Seni posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Good idea, I’m trawling through the internet yet πŸ™‚ Perhaps I’m lucky, I could need some treat too.. xxx

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