• Scared posted a new activity comment 2 days, 2 hours ago

    Happy birthday and congratulations!!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 5 hours ago

    I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your father.
    You should be so proud of yourself staying sober through the loss and subsequent grief. I’m sure he would be proud of you.
    Re book and Netflix recommendations, I often take screenshots with my phone and save things to an album specifically for “things to remember “!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Yay, me too! Xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    I’ll not drink with you xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Atta girl xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    I haven’t heard anything like that but makes sense in the old days people thought bad spirits were at play.

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    @ro 😂😂😂

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Wow that’s awesome! What a great hubby you have x

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Wonderful x

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, lovely! If anyone asks, you could say easy breezy “I’m taking a break from the booze” or “it’s Abstinence August didn’t you know?!” (just made that up).
    You’re doing really well ❤️

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 5 days, 10 hours ago

    I love that idea @ro!

    • Hi @Ro I have no real plan. Before I left Queenstown my plan was a tiki tour of the lower South Island??? But I seem to have run away. I luv living on the road, and sure there are some bad arseholes out there but they are hopefully few and far between, I’m not going to let an incident like that put me off living they way I luv. Today’s plan is to take it easy and see some supportive Friends in Wellington. Due back in Queenstown Sunday but will make it a 3 day return trip, yesterday was epic but probably a one off. I usually cap my drive time to 6 hours max and always stop at the slightest hint of being tired.

    • I so wish I was on a road trip! Here’s to a wonderful crossing-what’s the weather like? Do you stay at camps or just where ever you like? Yeah I used to love camping on the side of the road when I was a kid and arseholes like that ruin it for everyone. That poor guy. Have fun with your friends 🙂

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 1 hour ago

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    Connection (or the lack of) can be at the root of why we drank so much…so important to make, repair and keep connections in sobriety. Well done xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    Just have all your sober tools in place for any unexpected cravings or triggers. Xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    In hindsight, I think I was a dry drunk my first time round…I was dealing with a trauma at the time too so not a lot of growth or personal development being undertaken. I was white knuckling my way for 330 days. This time round I’m 2.5 years in and 100% content to never drink again.

    • Wow, that’s amazing, Scared! Congratulations. I have tried many times in the past to get sober, sometimes succeeding for varying periods of time…but I agree with you that the reason it didn’t ‘stick’ was that I never did any work on myself or on my sobriety… now I get it. Thanks for all the feedback 🙂

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    So much yes to your post! Yes to the headaches and tiredness and even getting unwell. Yes to the husband offering a wine (he just wants you to be happy and clearly doesn’t understand)!
    Good for you with your Friday night routine change, good to stay connected to good friends! I reckon your doing amazing!
    Keep the self care up (the tiredness is here to stay for a few weeks).
    Well done!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    By forgiving yourself! Would you be disgusted and disappointed with a child for making a mistake? I doubt it. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    💕

  • Scared posted an update 6 days, 8 hours ago

    Just remembered an easily forgettable tool from my early days or on days when, even though you’re years into sobriety life sucks…a long, hot shower, clean sheets and a nap. Sooooo deliciously soothing!!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 9 hours ago

    Nice! Xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Never, ever again!! Xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Damn right! Xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Emotionally addicted, yes!!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    And you are too my friend xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    ❤️

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Yes! Terrified..!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Haha haha 😂😘

  • Scared posted an update 1 week ago

    Day 792
    When I first realised I had a problem with alcohol I was extremely hungover. I was regret ridden, anxiety driven and terrified of what I’d said or done the night before.
    So I found this place (in 2014) and created an account and chose the username Scared.
    Newbies, sometimes the fear won’t go away in the early non drinking days. You just have to do it afraid—each minute, each hour, each day. And pretty soon, you’ll have a good amount of time and space between the now and your last drink. It’s. So. Worth. It.
    ❤️

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Great effort! Xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    It goes away eventually. I can’t tell you when not how exactly as it is different for everyone. All I know is it takes work and purpose. Hang in there!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    @happy2019 My patience is being tested to the max… pup has diarrhoea 😩

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hi Andie, welcome! Congrats on 6 days! My first Sober treat was a ring too. 😁 I’m glad you’re here xx

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hang in there! You’ve quit smoking so you can quit booze, the evidence is there! Use the 3 Ds–distract, delay and drink water. You’ve got this!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @jm tips on puppies 🐶😂

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Yup puppy’s are a lot of work that’s for sure! My cat is way easier 😂

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @māorigirlsober … didn’t highlight but I’ll press post and hopefully it works?

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Glad you feel that way. T’is a very special community here xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hold down the letter on your device and macron options appear…ā 😁

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Wow some really tough life stuff you’re dealing with. And doing it sober! No better way to do it in all honesty but what a superstar you are! I love you are tucking in some self care there too, with your own bank acct. Smart. ❤️

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Yes, vigilance is something we can never let go of. It’s (sobriety) not constant work but persistent work. We must keep it up. ❤️

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    My counter does too. Weird. I really enjoy random, internal-thoughts posts 💕 Have a good day xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    One month! 🥳 Great work, the internal healing is beginning! Keep it up xo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hey @ro! A border collie 🐕 He slept pretty much through the night for the first time last night! But I did the typical mama thing that I did with my kids and got up fretting he had somehow died in his sleep! 🤨 I’m such a worrier 🙄

    • Brainiest dogs supposedly. Cute! My boss has one but I don’t like how they keep it – in a crate and a garage with another dog which was a rescue one and it’s a bit fucked in the head, so it’s taught the collie dumb shit and they’ve just had a baby so the dogs will take more of a back seat. Collie dogs meant to herd sheep and work they need stimulus not crates and garages. My dogs are spoiled. Those dogs aren’t mistreated I just feel like they are lol. I’m a worrier too

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @suzkep it’s my “menopause pup”! Being only 43 and babies no longer an option threw me in to a wee spin 😬

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Yes indeed! What puppy did you get?

    • Hey @Scared, he’s a mix of several terriers and whatever! We got him from the animal shelter (he was born there) and he is a very frightened and cuddly dog – wonderful for the children but he has to learn that there is not always danger all around him. Trains our mindfulness and patience 🙂

    • @happy2019 My patience is being tested to the max… pup has diarrhoea 😩

    • Oh my God, that is hell! When Watson had it, I thought “now that the children are grown up, WHY do I do this to me once more???!” Hold on, it will pass!

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @freedom1025 nice to hear from you. I hope you’re doing ok? Xoxo

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Thanks @jm! Any tips are greatly welcomed 😂

  • Scared posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @Lucy I think you might need to find yourself some new time fillers? My first round of sobriety coincided with the adult colouring phase so I did that and jigsaw puzzles initially. Then I got in to exercise. What are your interests? If drinking has sapped your interests, think back to your childhood. What did you enjoy doing then? Then find the adult equivalent. Hang in there xoxo

  • Scared posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    A most excellent article about the label alcoholic. I personally don’t relate to that word at all. My first round of sobriety lasted 330 days…I believe it would have lasted a lot longer and I’d be celebrating my 5 year soberversary with the original crew here and going to Bali IF I hadn’t struggled with the (self imposed) label alcoholic. Since lifting the label on round two, I feel free and like I can miss the piss forever quite happily.

    Don’t Label Me Alcoholic Because I Choose Not to Drink

  • Scared posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    03:30am
    787 days
    Our new puppy is waking me every few hours for a wee outside. So I’m sitting on the sofa waking for his usual 3am toilet stop. I’ve stoked the fire and am listening to the crackling of the wood, while heavy rain pours outside.
    I’m feeling so content…I could not deal with puppy needs so well if I were still drinking!
    If you’re new here or in the early days, know that life is so much better, better than you can imagine, when you’re sober!!
    🥳😍😘❤️🥳

    • A new puppy! How great! Congrats on 787 days @Scared! xo

    • Glad to hear you’re so content @scared even with puppy duty in the middle of the night. @lucy hang in there! Take a shower and get in your PJs if you have to. Think of how fab you’re going to feel in the am. So worth it!

    • Oh @Scared, I remember those puppy nights! Yes, everything is so much easier! You don’t have to deal with heavy headaches, sickness or this vicious tiredness… Just can do what it takes and everything is allright 🙂

      • Yes indeed! What puppy did you get?

        • Hey @Scared, he’s a mix of several terriers and whatever! We got him from the animal shelter (he was born there) and he is a very frightened and cuddly dog – wonderful for the children but he has to learn that there is not always danger all around him. Trains our mindfulness and patience 🙂

        • @happy2019 My patience is being tested to the max… pup has diarrhoea 😩

        • Oh my God, that is hell! When Watson had it, I thought “now that the children are grown up, WHY do I do this to me once more???!” Hold on, it will pass!

    • Hey @lucy – just checking in and saying hi 👋 I should really be asleep – we watched rugby after our guests left until 1.45am – could not have managed that if wine was on the menu – sending you happy thoughts Xx

    • Gee @scared that’s a lot of sober time you have under your belt – I could not handle a puppy – kudos to you X

    • What sort of pup? You’re a good hooman 🙂

      • Hey @ro! A border collie 🐕 He slept pretty much through the night for the first time last night! But I did the typical mama thing that I did with my kids and got up fretting he had somehow died in his sleep! 🤨 I’m such a worrier 🙄

        • Brainiest dogs supposedly. Cute! My boss has one but I don’t like how they keep it – in a crate and a garage with another dog which was a rescue one and it’s a bit fucked in the head, so it’s taught the collie dumb shit and they’ve just had a baby so the dogs will take more of a back seat. Collie dogs meant to herd sheep and work they need stimulus not crates and garages. My dogs are spoiled. Those dogs aren’t mistreated I just feel like they are lol. I’m a worrier too

    • @Lucy I think you might need to find yourself some new time fillers? My first round of sobriety coincided with the adult colouring phase so I did that and jigsaw puzzles initially. Then I got in to exercise. What are your interests? If drinking has sapped your interests, think back to your childhood. What did you enjoy doing then? Then find the adult equivalent. Hang in there xoxo

    • I’ve thought about getting a puppy at times, but decided it’s too much like having an infant in the house, up two or three times a night for pee duty. At this stage in my life cats fit great, bowls of water and kibble and five minutes cleaning litter each day.

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