• savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    @Sam27 – I am going to say a prayer for you – that you should have strength & hope – which I know sounds like a miracle. I will pray for a miracle for you.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    It’s good to know I am not alone in this, as far as the intensity of it.

  • BTW -just to be ‘transparent’
    My new picture just put up is 4 years old.
    Taken at Rock & Roll Hall of fame in Cleveland.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    I will keep LS posted about my Medical Marijuana experiment.
    I am hanging in there.
    Day 48
    Thanks for your reply @Jesss
    P.S. – I love the 3 s’s

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Thankyou @Juliana perhaps I can speak to you more about this at some point. It’s amazing that you are in touch with the same therapist. She must be something very special.
    Continued success!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Good to keep in mind!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore changed their profile picture 2 weeks, 4 days ago

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    I’m very old according to the Beatles!

  • I like to at least comment to the post before but my mind is blank. Theemotional pain I’m in blocks out my thinking quite a bit. I’m on Day 47 but somehow cannot take too much pleasure in it. This is after many periods of not drinking over the past 4 years since I discovered Mrs. D.
    I am in Florida helping my mother (aged 87).
    It is extremely sad & stressful seeing how her energy has waned. I know this is normal, but that is what freaks me out. Aging in general.
    I am 64.
    I have applied for temporary residency here in Fla. so I can try Medical Marijuana for my ongoing anxiety, depression & PTSD. (upbringing related)
    I have tried conventional medicine unsuccessfuly.
    It’s been an ongoing challenge not to self-medicate as I had done for a long time.

    • I’m very old according to the Beatles!

    • I am 66, so your concerns about aging are familiar to me. Two years ago I started to see a psychiatrist I had worked with intensively during my teens and 20’s to work on some of my fears about getting older. I had stayed in touch over the years, but not talked to her for at least 15 years. These appointments have been really helpful to me. For one thing, she is 87 and going strong which is a helpful example to see. I am trying to make the most of everything, my teaching job, my family, reading, yoga, walking with my dogs and taking care of my overgrown mess of a garden. Giving up wine made a huge difference in my ability to take satisfaction in what I have, because I don’t feel ashamed and guilty all the time. Seeing the therapist has been strenuous because she lives in NY and I live in Washington, but it has been really important for my mood. I go every 6 weeks on the train, a long day, but I need to do it. Good luck with all your efforts. Xx

    • I hope the medical marijuana works out for u! I have been unsuccessful with conventional medicine myself. Really cool u are 47 days AF👍. Especially dealing with depression and your aging mother.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @AprilsFool see above post.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    AprilsFool – I love words & noticed this – you said you drank GALLEONS of wine. That’s alot because a galleon is a large sailing vessel from the 15th – 17th century!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    I will not be having any!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Thanks @jocord
    So tired I can’t focus on your answer!
    But thanks for responding.
    I’ve been acting as a semi-caregiver for my mother for abt 5 weeks now.
    Only one slip-up & drank a little & spilled it out.
    Tonight we are having a guest who brought a bottle of wine for himself.
    I told him it was ok.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Wow – I love that idea of an actual toolbox!
    If not too personal – maybe you could let us know what some of the tools are?

    • Sure! @savtadon’tdrinknomore, I put in a can of lime LaCroix, sweets, a page of favorite one-liners, a list of things to do rather than turn to drink, music, websites, numbers to call for support, fidget things to keep my hands busy when my head is spinning, and a list of things I found for grief as fear of losing my Mom and son is at the top of my list of relapse causers. Also a reminder to just PAUSE. I forget to just stop and breathe a lot. I constantly need to be reminded to just pause. This box has removed that nagging fear of “what if this happens”. I dumped all that fear into this box. I know what my first step will be now. xo

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Shutting computer now before Shabbat.
    See you all later.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    ….small, ashamed & weak… really resonated for me! Thanks!!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Thankyou @morgan & @Juliana
    I feel like a phony even writing on here because in the back of my mind I am ‘plotting’ to have wine tonight.
    The only thing holding me back is needing to be alert in case there is any issue with my mother.
    That’s a pretty big reason not to.
    But thoughts are: I won’t have that much.
    The truth is I was never a heavy drinker- a glass and half to 2 & than switch to cola.
    Tonight I will read to her. She can read , but I enjoy reading out loud – interesting, uplifting (hopefully) stories.
    On Shabbat we don’t do creative activities or TV.
    I had the chocolate already!:)

    • Shutting computer now before Shabbat.
      See you all later.

    • @savtadon’tdrinknomore For lots of us, coming on here when we have thoughts of drinking later has stopped us from drinking. There’s nothing phony about it! I have found helpful inspiration for staying sober and also a good distraction for stalling, because people’s messages are so interesting. Reading aloud is a great idea! I’m a reading tescher, so I always like to hear about that.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Thankyou @ morgan

  • Good news – my Mom’s MRI’s came back fine.
    She is still not feeling so well, but alot better.
    As I said -she is 88 and in basically good health.
    I am experiencing a profound feeling of depression.
    Very! tempted to drink wine tonight – it is Shabbat (traditional time to have wine).
    This is the 9th day of of being together.
    Mostly in because she is tired.
    & I have my driving in Florida anxiety.
    I went out food shopping today, which was good.
    Have my coca-cola for tonight but the wine in the cabinet is calling to me.
    I did dump the bottle I opened early in the week, but I can’t spill out all of her wine.

    • You can do this! What are your best strategies for remembering what you are hoping to achieve? (Apart from tipping out her wine 🙂 🙂 🙂 )

    • Good news about your Mom’s MRI. Supporting during medical experiences always used to tempt me to drink. Do you do any craft? Knitting is really helpful to me. Open up your soda and think of your next step. TV with your Mom? Board games? Crossword? Cooking? Chocolate? You’ll be so happy tomorrow you didn’t give in.

      • Thankyou @morgan & @Juliana
        I feel like a phony even writing on here because in the back of my mind I am ‘plotting’ to have wine tonight.
        The only thing holding me back is needing to be alert in case there is any issue with my mother.
        That’s a pretty big reason not to.
        But thoughts are: I won’t have that much.
        The truth is I was never a heavy drinker- a glass and half to 2 & than switch to cola.
        Tonight I will read to her. She can read , but I enjoy reading out loud – interesting, uplifting (hopefully) stories.
        On Shabbat we don’t do creative activities or TV.
        I had the chocolate already!:)

        • Shutting computer now before Shabbat.
          See you all later.

        • @savtadon’tdrinknomore For lots of us, coming on here when we have thoughts of drinking later has stopped us from drinking. There’s nothing phony about it! I have found helpful inspiration for staying sober and also a good distraction for stalling, because people’s messages are so interesting. Reading aloud is a great idea! I’m a reading tescher, so I always like to hear about that.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    I’m feeling Not Very Okay, but I won’t drink today.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Thankyou @mari135
    I so needed that!
    Beautiful.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Thankyou@JM for your comforting words.
    My mom is doing alot better than when I arrived last Thursday.
    Results from the MRI’s prob. tomorrow.
    I am hopeful that she is OK/

    • In my opinion half a glass definitely DOES NOT warrant re-setting your count. Positive thoughts with your Mum x

  • Well, I just broke my 19 day AF period. After accompanying my 87 year old mother to 2 MRI’s – we arrived home & I went straight to the wine. Feeling depressed & overwhelmed.
    I drank 1/3 – 1/2 a glass & then gave it to her. (She wanted it!).
    I don’t think I am resetting my count.
    But I know that I need to be alert & present.
    Really struggling. Jet lag & not sleeping well.
    But my coca-cola is in the freezer.
    I am normally really health conscious but the coke ( ha-ha – it actually used to be the powdery kind) is my substitute for wine.

    • JM replied 2 months ago

      Minor glitch – the half glass of wine. Hope your mom is okay. : )

      • Thankyou@JM for your comforting words.
        My mom is doing alot better than when I arrived last Thursday.
        Results from the MRI’s prob. tomorrow.
        I am hopeful that she is OK/

        • In my opinion half a glass definitely DOES NOT warrant re-setting your count. Positive thoughts with your Mum x

  • I am definitely being tested.
    I suffer from anxiety in general.
    Now driving after not driving for over a year.
    We don’t own a car & live in Jerusalem.
    Now in Florida helping my mother & driving on those large Florida roads!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    So sorry @Liberty.
    Sounds like an amazing person & great loss.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 15 for me too!
    Annoying & tiresome is a good way to describe thoughts of alcohol.

  • Here I am in my mother’s house.
    She is not doing too badly. Still experiencing dizziness & has 2 MRI’s coming up this Tues.
    Must admit to thinking about how I would like to drink wine tonight.
    Especially because I observe Shabbat & the traditional kiddush is wine.
    A trigger, for sure.
    I am desiring a small escape from reality.

    • Hi! It’s good to post it, just write it out, it loses its power. I found that observing the feeling, and letting it pass helped. Best to your mom. x

    • So nice that you there for your mum. Even better- sober and there for your mum 🙂

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thankyou@WakingOwl
    Yes, these are challenging times.
    I am not drinking
    Really tired – jet lag

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thankyou sheaney5
    Have not drank!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thankyou@DaveHNo wine for me

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thankyou@Ro
    Too tired to reply fully (jet lag)
    I have not drank!

    • Good work you! Are you on holiday? Pretty hard on the old buggers flying round the show innit? Pretty hard looking after them too. Well done and keep it up – you’re doing this thing! 👍💪👏👌

  • I am flying trans-atlantic tonight to be with my 87 year-old mother – who was experiencing some vertigo & other distressing symptoms.
    It could be tempting to drink some wine because I sometimes have gotten claustrophobic on planes & also somewhat fearful about what I will encounter.
    I have 13 days of not self-medicating anxiety/depression with wine.
    Could use some “experience, strength & hope”.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks all for the great info.
    Seeking inspiration. Many day 1’s. Now on Day 10.
    Fighting depression/ anxiety – 🙁 & resulting self- medication.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @Jesss I will pray for you.( I live in Jerusalem)

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi k1W1 –
    Could you give more info. on how to find that talk by Holly?
    Thanks!

    • Hey @savtadontdrinknomore it’s a different speaker but you could try Tara Brach on RAIN. Sounds like similar idea.

    • I did Hip Sobriety school and it’s part of the graduate fb page so I can’t share a link. Tara Brach was the inspiration for it but Holly’s have another couple of step added ste aside the story and surf the urge. Hip Sobriety though is a cool website

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks to all who replied above.
    I can’t focus on all of your good info. now because I have to pack for next leg of journey.
    P.S. – Never was a heavy drinker.
    Just enough to get a buzz of relief.

  • Hello – this is an SOS.
    I just broke (last week) almost 5 months of being AF while on a trip visiting family.
    This has to be quick because i observe Shabbat & do not use electronics for 24 hrs starting very soon.
    I suffer from anxiety & depression & wine has been my medicine for many years.
    I have tried many medications with no success.
    I am reaching out to hear from those who also have this issue.
    I would love to drink , but have embarked on being AF again trying to bear extremely uncomfortable feelings without numbing.
    Not easy!
    I know about exercise – been having knee problems as of late – bummer!!

    • Yin yoga has been huge for me. It’s deep stretching with meditative breathing. It can always accomodate injuries. I joined a yoga studio and go 4-5 times a week (usually during the time I used to pour a glass of wine).

    • You have a lot of headway with 5 months. That is not lost! I’m trying to be quick for you. Alcohol only makes depression worse. Whatever you did for 5 months, keep going. Search out alcohol, anxiety and deoression on Youtube. Tons of material there but pick valid authors, not weird shit. xoxo

    • “I suffer from anxiety & depression & wine has been my medicine for many years.” You have it back to front. It is the alcohol that has caused the anxiety and depression. The brain alters the normal levels of Important chemicals called “neurotransmitters” as it tries to adapt to large regular doses of alcohol. Three of these are serotonin, GABA, and glutamate. The way these levels get changed is precisely the same way that they are in people suffering from anxiety. When you stop drinking the levels of these re-normalize and the anxiety and depression ease.

    • @savtadontdrinknomore. Meditation and mindfulness are a great help. There’s plenty of help out there on the internet if you use google but I’m afraid you won’t be able to access it. Perhaps after you finish observing Shabbat.

      • Thanks to all who replied above.
        I can’t focus on all of your good info. now because I have to pack for next leg of journey.
        P.S. – Never was a heavy drinker.
        Just enough to get a buzz of relief.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    I still have a hard time with acceptance, but I am not numbing.
    Yes, acceptance would be healthy & mature!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Very good point –
    Truthfully – it was going in a not good direction.

  • Thankyou all for your replies.
    Just a bit flat today.
    Hopefully tomorrow will be better!
    I definitely feel proud that I haven’t drank in alot of social situations & actually had a good time.
    Plus,- where I thought wine would improve my sense of humor & conversational abilities – I noticed that it was really the opposite!

  • Hello Lovely People,
    I have a different kind of problem.
    I was a Grey -Area drinker. I hardly ever got sick or hungover. Just psychologically dependent.
    I don’t have those bad memories to look back on. (Ok – maybe a little slurring, here & there!)
    Or once in a while an inappropriate comment to my husband (rarely)
    But – how to stay motivated?

    • Hiya, interesting problem. Do you feel better not drinking? Going forward, that should be the question, not ‘have you reached rock bottom’? So crazy how people are instructed to keep going until everything is stripped from them. How could you have the motivation then. Is your life improved without drinking? Maybe you could make a list of good things of sobriety, weigh the pros and cons, and then keep going with your momentum. : )

    • Keeping motivated by the fact that your alcohol dependence would have worsened over time and you will be super happy you quit when you have. Alcohol issues grey ares or not never improve they decline usually at an alarming rate. ❤️

    • What do we not miss anymore is one motivation, but for me what’s been more useful is what I’ve gained/what’s been possible without alcohol. clouding up my days

    • Yes – everything @amy said!!!!

    • Adding to @Amy, my bp dropped from 138/82 to 112/62. My blood work is great. People can call me anytime, day or night, and I can respond with a clear head. I don’t fear a cop in my rear view mirror. Ok, I still do. But not for drunk driving.

    • Sounds like me Sav, I had the ‘fortunate’ thing of becoming ill after a little more than 1/2 a bottle. However, I was still a slave to it – wanted to drink every night, was not on top form the next day – or if I forced myself to stop during the week (The Rules haha) Friday night drinks made me drunk (2 glasses) and headachy the next day. Horrible, yet I persisted. That bloody mental battle … that keeps me motivated, along with the serious health statistics. Two in my family have had breast cancer, 3 died of bowel cancer, many other deaths which could have been triggered by the steady, ‘moderate’ drinking. I do not want to increase my risks.
      + vanity – skin, hair, weight – all far better, and apparently ageing delayed in non drinkers 🙂 🙂 I must say, I look way better now than 4 or even 10 years ago. Bla bla bla, sorry, got carried away.
      What motivates you?

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome, @divakate🙂

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 9 months, 1 week ago

    I just looked forward to the buzz.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 9 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @Tom4500.
    I just have to say I never got drunk.
    In a sense , that’s my problem.
    I don’t have really bad drinking memories, such as hangovers, blackouts…
    Just a buzz – – Max 2 glasses of wine at a shot during the week.
    slightly more on Fri.nite.
    I was what Jolene Parks termed – a Grey Area drinker.
    But I am trying not to dull my unpleasant emotions, or to enhance the good ones with any substance.

    • I just looked forward to the buzz.

    • Interesting. I stopped because I couldn’t limit my drinking to two. If I could have, I would probably still be drinking. So you bring up an interesting notion….that having to go without that initial “buzz” and the silliness surrounding it, is really not giving up anything of value. That might help. Another thought is that a pattern of having two a night is possibly problem drinking? That sounds like my parents. A couple of drinks before dinner every night. I suppose it goes back to the true statement that we’re all different, and have to do things in a way that is right for us as individuals. And I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing.

  • Day 48!!
    I just had a guy over to give me an estimate on doing some waterproofing of our exterior walls.
    He was quite vague & said things like – ‘You could do this, but may not be worth it.’
    His lack of clarity put me in a major state of anxiety.
    Guess where my thoughts go?
    Also thinking about how alcohol at the end of the day was something I looked forward to.
    Now ‘nothing’ to look forward to? uh-oh
    I am an HSP (highly sensitive person) with PTSD!
    Quite a combination.
    I’m finding managing myself is a BIG job.

    • Well first, four dozen days is really nice. Then, looking forward to getting drunk everyday isn’t a very noble ambition, so we can dismiss this as addictive brain voice talk. And finally, it takes time to find things to do to fill the void where alcohol once was. I’ve tried activities that I’ve later stopped, they were fun for a while. It’s pretty amazing how much we think about our quitting in the early days of quitting. Have faith and confidence that it’s the right thing to do.

      • Thanks @Tom4500.
        I just have to say I never got drunk.
        In a sense , that’s my problem.
        I don’t have really bad drinking memories, such as hangovers, blackouts…
        Just a buzz – – Max 2 glasses of wine at a shot during the week.
        slightly more on Fri.nite.
        I was what Jolene Parks termed – a Grey Area drinker.
        But I am trying not to dull my unpleasant emotions, or to enhance the good ones with any substance.

        • I just looked forward to the buzz.

        • Interesting. I stopped because I couldn’t limit my drinking to two. If I could have, I would probably still be drinking. So you bring up an interesting notion….that having to go without that initial “buzz” and the silliness surrounding it, is really not giving up anything of value. That might help. Another thought is that a pattern of having two a night is possibly problem drinking? That sounds like my parents. A couple of drinks before dinner every night. I suppose it goes back to the true statement that we’re all different, and have to do things in a way that is right for us as individuals. And I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing.

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 9 months, 3 weeks ago

    Ate some comfort food – cheddar cheese & crackers. (& a pear)
    Not the best dinner,
    Shower & earlier bedtime than usual.
    No drinking!!
    It helps to have no wine in the house.
    Thanks for your reply!!

    • Way to go, savtadon’tdrinknomore! You know what they say, play the tape forward and see where that supposedly nice glass of wine or allegedly lovely cocktail leads. Alcohol is lying shite. Cheese and crackers (and a pear) and early to bed are heaven, especially when you wake up to a new morning feeling good and refreshed. Well done!

  • @Kate1975 – would love to give you some words of wisdom.
    Some how it feels rude or discounting to just come in with my comment without acknowledging the previous one!
    But I have no words right now.
    Sorry!
    Day 35 – feeling tired & ‘under-the weather’. This feeling is a big trigger for me. I think it’s related to boredom. Too tired to do much of anything.
    But thinking a bit about how I used to drink wine when feeling like this.

    • Oh @savtadon’tdrinknomore I think a little acknowledgement was all I needed. Thank you. I hope your trigger feelings pass quickly x

      • Ate some comfort food – cheddar cheese & crackers. (& a pear)
        Not the best dinner,
        Shower & earlier bedtime than usual.
        No drinking!!
        It helps to have no wine in the house.
        Thanks for your reply!!

        • Way to go, savtadon’tdrinknomore! You know what they say, play the tape forward and see where that supposedly nice glass of wine or allegedly lovely cocktail leads. Alcohol is lying shite. Cheese and crackers (and a pear) and early to bed are heaven, especially when you wake up to a new morning feeling good and refreshed. Well done!

    • Congratulations on 5 weeks of sobriety @savtadon’tdrinknomore – that is truly something to celebrate and be happy for 🙂 Think how much you’ve learned and overcome in the past 5 weeks – you should be very proud of yourself!!

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 10 months ago

    I totally understand where your coming from @Annie.
    I am at day 25.
    For me being or feeling alone is a big trigger too.
    Can you or would you invite someone over?
    Alternatively – a podcast – human voices. You should be successful in finding the right tools
    Stay strong – you will feel amazing after conquering this.
    How long are you housesitting for?

  • savtadon'tdrinknomore posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Yes @bukeyeone.
    I want to keep on the path with you & all others.Day 18 for me.

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