• Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 hour, 21 minutes ago

    Thank you all! I don’t think I could have resisted if I didn’t have this place to be accountable and air what is going thru my crazy brain. Now Saturday morning and so glad I am AF I know if I gave in it would have been a reason to binge and I do not want to go there. It was so hard to make it thru the upteenth day 1s that I could not bare to go back there. The sun is shining for a change so I made plans for this evening. Want to keep busy and get through the weekend. Day 20!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 11 hours, 27 minutes ago

    So great! Your post helped me tonight that’s for sure! What an awesome achievement. Wise words!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 11 hours, 33 minutes ago

    Welcome! you have found a great place to be.

  • I’m on day 19! Tonight was tough! I really craved having a drink and could not shake it. I thought maybe I’ll get a small bottle of something and just have one drink. I knew I would regret it. But no matter what I was doing I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I deliberately waited at a friends house till I knew the liquor stores would be closed by the time I got home. They were and I made it. It was tuff but I’m so glad I did. Its so strange that now after so many days I felt like that again. Ugh! I also couldn’t wait to get to this site to seek support and just share my frustration. AF and want to stay FIRM

    • Good for you for resisting temptation like that, any strategy that works is fair game. I white knuckled a goodly number of nights until I knew the liquor stores were closed

    • Sansa well done, days like these are particularly hard but it gets a little easier and they become less often.
      Have strategies ready for these days it really helps
      One day at a time keep strong x

    • oh my gosh first weekend without a drink , and look at the clock my house is clean and sun is shining but no wine reward very very hard and gotta say Friday nite was a bore not that I do anything exciting on my Friday nites but yup no partay on my sofa last nightn, on the plus side up fresh as a daisy this morning tackled my house work and teenagers end of the house with much less anger and resentment, having a ginger beer woop woop, why is weed illegal

    • oh sorry forgot to say so self absorbed in my own world, congrats Sansa go hard

    • Well done Sansa, it was tough but you did it!

    • Well done sansa.. you pushed through it and won.. xx

    • @Wakingowl makes a fair point, “any strategy’ that works!! I ‘reckon shifting into ‘manual’ gear to over-ride that ‘automatic’ response to alcohol is what drives us out’a the bog.

    • Thank you all! I don’t think I could have resisted if I didn’t have this place to be accountable and air what is going thru my crazy brain. Now Saturday morning and so glad I am AF I know if I gave in it would have been a reason to binge and I do not want to go there. It was so hard to make it thru the upteenth day 1s that I could not bare to go back there. The sun is shining for a change so I made plans for this evening. Want to keep busy and get through the weekend. Day 20!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    Yay! 95 days is amazing! And even though a horrific ordeal with your SIL hit hard, you have proven to be a warrior!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 day, 14 hours ago

    Welcome! you have joined a great support group of wonderfully real people, with real issues, sharing there go too and how too’s in getting thru.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 days, 15 hours ago

    Thank you! beautiful inspiring words indeed.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 days, 15 hours ago

    You did something brave without knowing it. You came here and wrote down the truth and reached out for help. That right there is a great step. You know this is not what you want and you valued yourself enough to shout out for help here. All good signs. Read some of Mrs. D’s blog postings and but yesterday away. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. Be FIRM and no one or thing will make you waiver. Keep the faith.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 4 days, 13 hours ago

    Wow! What an achievement! Hetti 5 years to me right now sounds unimaginable. I am on day 14. I hope one day I too will be posting such an achievement. I couldn’t agree more, this site has been a Godsend and is making stick. It’s true, I don’t want to let myself down in this community. Thank you, Thank you so much for your words of hope and happiness for all of us to strive for.

    • 14 days IS AMAZING @Sansa … i remember all those milestones … and yes this site is a godsend for sure. Hang in there and stay strong ❣❣❣

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 5 days, 11 hours ago

    Suzkep thank you! You are so right! I read it in Mrs. D’s blog and it sunk in. So glad to be past the day 1 cycle. I don’t ever want to go back there again! It was my MO for years.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Leslie Lily sounds so great to hear of your achievement. Its only my second weekend but I agree, it is easier as time goes by then it was the first week. Having the members feed place to go has truly been a great support and encouragement. Its a struggle but so so much better than giving in and drinking which only resulted in feeling awful. Now I feel hopeful and just so much better.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Sounds comfy and relaxing. Having a hot chocolate with whipped cream! Have a great week too!

  • Sansa posted an update 5 days, 13 hours ago

    My vacation is over today and I return to work tomorrow. Usually I would be having a drink to say farewell to summer and saying to myself just one, which would turn into a bottle. That’s not happening this time. On day 13 today and am FIRM to stay AF

    • Isn’t it nice that the decision is firm – it makes it all so much easier πŸ™‚

      • Suzkep thank you! You are so right! I read it in Mrs. D’s blog and it sunk in. So glad to be past the day 1 cycle. I don’t ever want to go back there again! It was my MO for years.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I have been thinking of you since the post 8 days ago. That post sent chills through my soul and made my decision FIRM to stay AF for good. I woke up this morning on my day 12 and thought I got to find that post again and make a comment. And then I saw your update. I literally shed tears of sadness and am sending you love and prayers as I wrtite this. The sweet young soul of your SIL is giving me a gift to stay iron clad in sobriety. Your words recalling the days were so poetic and moving and has thrown a wake up call life saver to all of us. May she rest in peace. And you are a warrior for all of us. Thank you.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Thank you Dave H. Great advice.

  • Sansa posted an update 1 week ago

    Day 11! I’m doing it! the members feed has been my anchor. When I feel a craving, I go here. I read a post from someone just like me and it gets the craving to diminish. Thank you everyone. This is my second weekend and I’m FIRM to be AF.

    • Well done…excellent strategy for staying AF

    • DaveH replied 1 week ago

      Hi @Sansa The main thing you’ve identified here is that if we can fully occupy our minds for a while as a craving comes on then the craving will fade and pass. There are three basic strategies with cravings: Delay (I’ll leave having that drink until tomorrow), Distract, and Deny. Of the three “distract” is the most useful, and you have found a great way to do this. If we just sit there and wait for the craving to pass then we sit thinking about a drink, and when we do that more and more drinking thoughts come in triggering g more cravings: if we simply sit and endure a craving then we make it last much longer. But if we distract ourselves with something that fully occupies our minds then there is no room for the extra triggering thoughts to come in.
      One of the great ways we can help ourselves is by remembering the things that help us and keep doing them and you’ve got a keeper with this. Well done, and keep going!

      • Sansa replied 1 week ago

        Thank you Dave H. Great advice.

      • Distract works for me. Sometimes it’s easy, other times I nearly go nuts, but I never regret it. I keep telling myself..pathways in the brain..retrain..

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    So great to be truly present! That’s great suzkep! So wonderful to enjoy all these new adventures. Keep it going your doing great!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    It is riveting! Of course, I am a fan too. Thus my avatar: Sansa! LOL. Another great one is Vikings!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hi Joesdad, totally get it! Reading your comment, I thought if we think of how many years we drank for no reason regretted it and felt demoralized about it and how hard it was to change, its not a surprise that when we don’t drink the same issues that drew us to drink are still there. It’s facing our impulses and what is behind them that may be an ah-ha moment. How about therapy? It’s great to have a real-time conversation with a professional. Just remember as I am trying to do too, change is never easy whether it is for the good or for the bad. The difference is you see the value of change. The past is over. Today is all we have and the hope of tomorrow. Keep the faith.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hi, Its the blog post from July 24th: How did I quit and stay sober! these were the 5 steps she highlighted:
    But, however you choose to go about transforming your life, I do recommend you keep these steps in mind;

    Be honest with yourself
    Accept the truth
    Make a firm decision
    Throw everything at it
    Connect open-heartedly with others in the same boat

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    I agree it is tough and Thankfully I found this group through the Bubble Hour. I feel supported and its here all the time with feedback! Thank you Tgrim!

  • Sansa posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    1 week AF! Feeling so much better! Best part waking up and being fully present! The member feed has been my daily go-to! So glad I found a resource filled with brave, honest, strong and beautiful people who care and help so much. Mrs. D’s statement FIRM decision is my mantra.

    • Fantastic! : )

    • Well done on 1 week! πŸ™‚ So glad you found this community to support you, it’s really an amazing place to be.

    • Congratulations on week 1! That was really hard for me. After 2 or 3 weeks, I was amazed and proud of myself which helped me continue. I hope it works that way for you!

    • @Sansa Nice work! So very happy for you. I agree with you, I am really feeling the “love” here and it is helping me keep positive with lots of support and helpful tips. Keep on shooting for your goals. πŸ™‚

    • Well done on 1 week!!! Keep going! It’s so worth it. πŸ™‚ I’ve been interacting with this wonderful community starting early in my first week. It’s been so helpful and I’m now on day 56. πŸ™‚ I wanted to ask about Mrs. D’s statement FIRM decision that you mentioned…I’d love to read up on that. Can you tell me where you read it? I couldn’t find it.

      • Hi, Its the blog post from July 24th: How did I quit and stay sober! these were the 5 steps she highlighted:
        But, however you choose to go about transforming your life, I do recommend you keep these steps in mind;

        Be honest with yourself
        Accept the truth
        Make a firm decision
        Throw everything at it
        Connect open-heartedly with others in the same boat

    • A week is great, keep going, more goodies ahead. πŸ™‚

    • Well done! Go on for lot more wonderful, clear mornings!

    • I found the first two weeks the toughest. Many struggles are still present then. Keep going and trust in this sight. It really is amazing!

      • I agree it is tough and Thankfully I found this group through the Bubble Hour. I feel supported and its here all the time with feedback! Thank you Tgrim!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    I too drank at home alone late at night and kept it hidden, so I thought. what I thought was a treat was really a punishment to me. Horrible hangovers, shame, and self-loathing was all I got from it. It’s the best tool in my tool box too. Keep the faith!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Deepak Chopra has guided meditations and also if you have the amazon echo I believe it also has free guided meditations. We are all in this together! Keep the faith!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Love it! plan to do the same. Peace the greatest gift of all.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Day 4. It’s the weekend. Feeling great not to have a hangover. Getting out today and getting some exercise. Will be glad when I get past the weekend. Bought lots of flavored seltzers which helps.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    So far so good. These members feeds is a godsend. thank you!

    • Day 4. It’s the weekend. Feeling great not to have a hangover. Getting out today and getting some exercise. Will be glad when I get past the weekend. Bought lots of flavored seltzers which helps.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Day 23 sounds incredible to me!. I too am reading the posts in the morning and in the evening. It is really giving me strength and inspiration. Almost done with day 2! It feels different this time, I think because I’m interacting with like minded people and it feels safe.

    • Good stuff @Sansa you’re right on the money, being around the LS crew has a big impact so keep reading and posting and I’ll do the same and we can both change our lives for the better. Keep up the awesome work you’ll only feel even better each day!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Thank you Waking Owl. On Day 2 real test will be day 4-5 but I’m determined this time. Just having this members feed is a blessing! Already feel the community support.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    thank you Mari135! Day 2 and feeling happy to wake up no hangover. And getting your message gave me a great lift. I am so hopeful. Just keep thinking of Mrs. D’s FIRM decision to quit. Its so great to know I’m not alone and not the only one struggling with my “secret” habit which is the biggest burden of all. I downloaded Ann’s book called Drink. Its a bit scary because its a slippery sloap. Her analogy of drink being a handsome man appearing in a tuxedo in the beginning and turning out to be a stalker and a creep says it all. Thank you, thank you for reaching out to me.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Ok, yes my next steps is to begin a toolbox. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Morgan.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    I’m so glad to have found this group. Its like a life line of support.

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Lets do it together! Day 1 is only a few hours away from being done! Good vibes right back at you!

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Thank you! Truly!

  • Sansa changed their profile picture 2 weeks, 3 days ago

  • Sansa posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Hello Everyone! I joined this site and group to hold myself accountable. I am a private drinker. I drink alone at night every 3 to 4 days and I usually drink almost a whole bottle of wine. I swear the next day never to drink and then after a few days sober, I go out and by a bottle of wine. I never drink socially. I cut that out over a year ago. This is the biggest hurdle for me but I’ve had enough! I am sick of feeling hungover and the shame of hiding it all insane. I live alone so I got rid of all alcohol. I like Mrs. D’s 5 steps. I FIRMLY am stating. I am alcohol-free today and forevermore. I’m going to need all the good vibes of all of you, members, to keep me firmly planted.

  • Sansa became a registered member 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    • Hello Everyone! I joined this site and group to hold myself accountable. I am a private drinker. I drink alone at night every 3 to 4 days and I usually drink almost a whole bottle of wine. I swear the next day never to drink and then after a few days sober, I go out and by a bottle of wine. I never drink socially. I cut that out over a year ago. This is the biggest hurdle for me but I’ve had enough! I am sick of feeling hungover and the shame of hiding it all insane. I live alone so I got rid of all alcohol. I like Mrs. D’s 5 steps. I FIRMLY am stating. I am alcohol-free today and forevermore. I’m going to need all the good vibes of all of you, members, to keep me firmly planted.

    • Hi @Sansa welcome. Sounds as though you’ve found the right place – looking forward to seeing you round

    • Welcome! Sounding strong. Stay here, keep posting, and make plans. The planners get to freedom.

      • Ok, yes my next steps is to begin a toolbox. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Morgan.

    • @sansa, sick of feeling hungover, that’s why i am here. i never quit drinking socially and hid it by drinking at home, but i always hid the amount and frequency of my drinking bc i live alone. welcome.

    • @Sansa welcome here! You sound a lot like me in my last days a secret little buzz every five days or so and then one blowout about once a month. It’s exhausting and dispiriting. You’ll find lots of good vibes here!

      • Thank you Waking Owl. On Day 2 real test will be day 4-5 but I’m determined this time. Just having this members feed is a blessing! Already feel the community support.

    • Welcome here Sansa!!! xooxox Your drinking pattern reminds me a lot of my own. I would always wake up hungover and swear I’d stop drinking my Pinot Noir. I can promise you that sobriety is the best adventure I’ve ever gone on. As cheesy as that sounds. It is NOT easy by any means, but so worth it. And it gets progressively easier over time. Good things are waiting for you here.

      oxoxx

      Keep going!

      • thank you Mari135! Day 2 and feeling happy to wake up no hangover. And getting your message gave me a great lift. I am so hopeful. Just keep thinking of Mrs. D’s FIRM decision to quit. Its so great to know I’m not alone and not the only one struggling with my “secret” habit which is the biggest burden of all. I downloaded Ann’s book called Drink. Its a bit scary because its a slippery sloap. Her analogy of drink being a handsome man appearing in a tuxedo in the beginning and turning out to be a stalker and a creep says it all. Thank you, thank you for reaching out to me.

    • Hi Sansa. Hope day 2 hasn’t been too difficult. So far so good for me.

      • So far so good. These members feeds is a godsend. thank you!

        • Day 4. It’s the weekend. Feeling great not to have a hangover. Getting out today and getting some exercise. Will be glad when I get past the weekend. Bought lots of flavored seltzers which helps.