• Ro posted an update 1 week ago

    809 sober
    Kia Ora
    Well so far I’ve had a fucked morning from stinking thinking, which I suffer from. Even managed to involve my partner, poor guy. I even felt like- fuck it might get rolling drunk and show everyone how bummed out I am, cos everyone is allowed to have problems except me. Well I probably am allowed to have them but don’t bother talking about them cos you created them and no one really gives a flying fuck anyway. You know that kind of shit talk. Ugh. Have a wonderful piece if music on- Ave Maria, being played on the violin by Maxim Vengerov, who is quite possibly the best violinist in the world at the moment, if you’ve not heard of him youtube him and prepare to be blown away. Genius. The one hour masterclass vid is cool, you get some insight into the mind of a genius musician. Obviously practice and a lot of it was involved, but he is incredible. So yeah trying to uplift myself. Best gift ever-3 cd’s called Phenomenal by Maxim Vengerov. My Mum bought it for me a few years ago and I’m surprised it’s not worn out.
    I won’t drink but that fucked me off too. Dumb fucking addiction. It’s hard to be positive all the time, so today I will go easy on myself. Everyone has a down day here and there. I must say however that my train of thought was brought on by being back on Facebook ( after quitting the site a month before I stopped drinking ) and I might have to knock it on the head again because having access to other peoples dumb shit ( all open to whoever wants to look at it I might add-you may want to check your own settings-just saying ) and not being able to control myself to not look at it actually drives me mental.
    Ugh. I want to look at lovely things and listen to lovely things and read about lovely things and eat and smell lovely things. And that’s about it. I’m not doing anything I don’t want to anymore. We’ll see how that goes for me eh….I actually would like to run away and live in a bivvy right about now. With a cd player and a huge sound system.
    Off to have a long shower and think about living in the bush lol oh well dreams are free aren’t they
    Ma te wa

    • Sorry you’re in a downer mood. I just heard about Alma Deutscher, an 11 year old virtuoso. Give her a google if you want. She also composes. Stay off Facebook! F-in site.

    • Yes, downer moods happen. FB can cause a lot of issues. I don’t go on it as much as I used to and I don’t post on it anymore either. I hope you feel better. Just remember tomorrow is another day!

    • Facebook is the devil. I use it so sparingly now because it makes me dislike people that if I only interacted with face to face I wouldn’t dislike. Including family members. I have come to believe that you really REALLY don’t need to know everything a person feels and thinks – and that knowing every little opinion and thought they have can be really detrimental to caring about them, in general. Everyone is allowed to have shit days though. OMG could you imagine trying to be positive ALL the time? Ew, just thinking about that makes me feel tired. Still… I hope your mood improves soon and you get some peace of mind. <3

    • Aww sorry you’re having such a bad day. I like your idea of taking off in a bivvy but you might want to wait till it gets a tad warmer. Brrrrr

    • Sorry you’re having an off day they do suck big time. I can tell you have often thought about a cabin in the woods with books, paints a comfy bed but the food could be a problem!!!! Not really a hunter, gatherer sort so would have to have some contact with supplies. Tomorrow will be better.❤️

    • That sounds horrible hon. Did the music lift you out of it? I am definitely looking him up – love a good recommendation in the classical world as one can hunt and hunt, and find mediocre. Vivaldi flute and harp, a TAPE! was my all time saviour for years. Now I listen to it, dragging a bit, when I clean my garage. Old tape player out there

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