• rise2015 posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 34 minutes ago

    I enjoyed reading this. Thanks @song-bird.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 39 minutes ago

    You are doing it @Jesss. My family always had a motto that we ‘only drink on days ending in “y”. So very hard for me to adjust to not drinking on any day.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 23 hours ago

    gosh thats a goodie. Thanks for sharing.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 23 hours ago

    Lots of true words in there. I like it that you are recognising that this is not a passive change, you have to actively want to be a non-drinker to make it a success. Day 391 for me today.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 23 hours ago

    You have made a great decision – me too on the photos, what you will notice is how much better your skin looks too!

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Nice work on nearing 5 years!!! Keep it going, as you know ‘this too shall pass’. Don’t know much about Idaho (kiwi here) but just finished Tara Westover’s memoir called Educated and it was based in Idaho. An interesting life, the countryside sounds nice but her story is quite an eye opener.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Just answered my own question about unfollow as it comes up once you follow, so ignore that.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Yes like Jesss your notification shows that someone is following and when you click it you can see who it is. Do you just mean others can’t see how many followers you have? So the followers are private to you and that takes the popularity contest out of it. Funny question but once you follow can you unfollow too…. just in case you want to follow someone about a thing and then not carry on?

    • Just answered my own question about unfollow as it comes up once you follow, so ignore that.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    congrats on triple digits @AprilsFool, keep it going

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Congrats on one year. Well done.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Woop Woop Go @malibustacey. How good does it feel…

  • rise2015 posted an update 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Day 377, happy to report that I got through my Dad’s funeral on tuesday without even a thought of drinking alcohol. Had afternoon tea after the service at the Ohope Bowling Club, and thought I had no chance of getting a zero beer there and lo and behold they had some. So had my cup of tea and sandwiches, then my zero beer. My Dad was not a drinker, as his father was an alcoholic and he had gone done the path on not wanting to be like his father. His service was very un PC and and there was a lot of laughter, not something you usually hear at a funeral, but we think just as he would have liked us to remember him and his unique ways. However, it has been a tough week doing a lot of miles and arrangements, plus I started a new job the day following the funeral. Feel like everything has stopped the last couple of weeks, no golf, little exercise, crappy eating, so trying to get back into some better self care this weekend. This week I have two meetings for my son about his funding and care which always makes me unsettled, so I need to get back on top of my game.

    • Sounds like a really lovely, authentic funeral. I hope mine has lots of laughter too.
      I hope there are times when you can rest and regather your strength for the coming weeks.
      Lots of love xxx

    • Sounds like a very big couple of weeks to me @rise2015. Not surprised some things have been skipped. Thanks for your post, I need to get back into move mode too.

    • Sorry for your loss. 💔

    • Sorry to hear your dad has died. Well done on remaining AF throughout a stressful situation. Best wishes for your self care and your new job @rise2015

    • glad to hear you made it through the funeral and it sounded like a life well remembered. wow, you are busy right now, good luck with all of it.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @gage like you I have always a bit of a problem sharing my woes, whether that is here or even in person, the times I have everyone has been supportive, so you can share. Just think of it how much you like to be the one to help when someone else has a woe, we love to give our two pennies of advice or just listen. Here is important not just for celebrations.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Wow, one wise women right there. congrats on 600 @Jesss, hows the family doing?

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Lovely @winner. You really seem to be enjoying the emoji function too.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @soberdaisy I too used wine as my metime, but I am finally finding other ways to get that me time in. Not always the easiest thing to do but very important if you want to get the benefits of this sober living gig.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Good decision on not drinking today. One drink for an addict is never just one drink. I did it after a 6 month stint dry then whoa it all started up again. Getting past 6 months, then one year you will feel the benefit. Well done on coming back on here @zeropercent

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Thank you all for your messages @Jocord @Mari135 @Ro @Agirl @Sober4real @Tom4500 @Hammer123 @kitten @Gojo @Jesss @JM @Ladyhawke @freedom1025. Up early tomorrow to drive down to Whakatane (about 4 hours) and hopefully things go smoothly.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    Congratulations @Ladyhawke – are you going to be a Granny or a Nana? Lovely to be fully engaged with what is happening.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    @getclear I did not want to change my friends just because I no longer drink. I definitely socialised with ‘drinkers’ and all bar one of my besties are big drinkers, and the one that wasn’t smoked, so she smoked I drank. My hubby also thinks I could just have one, even just one bottle he said would be okay. But I can’t and don’t actually ever want just one. Well, rarely I could do it. I did have to stop inviting people to our place, as I drank loads at home and had people here a lot, which meant I never had to drive. This method worked for me as my son is disabled so hard to go out. However, I had to put myself and my health ahead of my drinking and drinking friends for a while. I did not initiate any outings or invites for a few months and made myself busy doing other stuff for a while. However, I continued some regular things like playing golf midweek. The midweek ladies don’t all drink after golf, but the weekend girls do – it made me not stand out and feel the odd one out. I also still go to the pub once a week for quiz night and on that night I drink 0% beer. This made me feel like I was drinking kind of – now I can drink a 0 beer or a soda/tonic without sticking out, because no one cares about it. You may find you don’t have anything in common with your drinking buddies if that is all you do with them, but hey if you still like food, movies, concerts etc then there is other stuff to take your mind off the drink. You can do it.

    • @rise2015….thank you. So sorry about your father. Amazing that in your grief you’re reaching out and helping others…funny how alcohol makes us self absorbed but by being AF we can see outside of ourselves. It helps me to hear others stories and coping for sure. It just means so much to me. I have much to figure out like you all have on the journey but one thing I do know ….for me as well as some others 1 drink very rarely stays at 1! So….I’ll have to figure it out. It’s possible from what I’m hearing , that I’m making it much more of a deal than it is…..I may be the only one who cares if I drink. Other than a couple of people who say I’m no fun without it. Take care…..thoughts of peace going out to you

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    Might just have to try that out.

  • rise2015 posted an update 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    My Dad passed away on Friday afternoon a few days after he moved into hospice care. So, I have spent the day with my brothers preparing for his funeral service which will take place on Tuesday. It has been a few big days as we get ready to celebrate his life. Although a terrible time, we have had a lot of laughs as we work through what to say about him and talk about his choice of music. He loved his music and the songs he wants at his funeral include Cattle Call by Eddie Arnold, Swinging Safari, Lonely Bull and best of all Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. He wrote a long list of songs before he died and my brother had to suggest to him that the list was longer than the time we would get for his service. Anyway, he is at peace, although his cancer had returned a couple of years ago, it has only been the last few weeks that he went quickly downhill and only the last couple of days on morphine. I am proud of the way I am handling myself right now without the drink, and it has allowed me to have the energy to drive up and down to whakatane as I am not suffering from the next day syndrome. Having a lot of tears, but feel like they are healthy ones and not the sort that come after too many wines. So, Tuesday will be tough but hey I’m doing it.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    wow fantastic – well done on 2 years @Ro

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Sounding very positive @Jocord. Enjoy your planter – I too am appreciating things I didn’t have time for before.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Lovely post @Marylourocks and great numbers and reflections

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Great post @Dylan. I think a lot of us start to uncover our authentic self if we stick at this long enough. Wonderful.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Awesome being up to Day 12 @pooks45. Sounds like you need a plan for tonight @pooks45, need to find something as well as ginger beer that you like at the pub or not stay as long so that you get tempted. It will be great to catch up with these people, but try to remember they are moving on and so are you, you are moving to a sober you that runs super fast because she is not bleeding alcohol out of her system. Keep up the good work and get through today so you can do a big run on Saturday.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Yes, love their sound of silence cover too @kissingmyrainbow.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Congrats on the 900 mark, I think most people must have twinges of complacency about not being so bad, although it seems to become more normal, most of us have a lot more years to ‘undo’. I am finding that as I have just passed one year that I am needing to tell myself that I had 30 plus years of that stage of life, I’ve got a long way to go to balance it out. A positive for me is that my golf handicap came down from the 30s to the early 20s – whether this is from playing a wee bit more or from playing without a thumping headache from the night before I am not sure, but my golf has got better! Hope you have a great day today and enjoy both the golf and your grandson.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    There are many of us that have had multiple Day 1s – you are not the first. The first part is the hardest, but sounds like you have made a plan. Can you add in something nice for staying in (besides the dog), do you like magazines, books, food treats or could you go to a movie, get your nails done or something? If you want to get to 30 and beyond, you need to treat yourself well.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Thank you @Jocord @MalibuStacey @Sober4real I’m a bit teary today after a rotten night with my son, so it was nice to see this when I logged in.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Nice to hear from you @Saoirse, congrats on day 302. It takes a while, but you are spot on, life is better without the drink. Not always stress free, but one less thing to deal with.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @kissingmyrainbow – I have noticed lots of triggers, and many the same as others mentioned here, but one thing I have picked up on more recently is related to when money is in short supply, I would feel so pissed off about it that I would spend money on drinking. Sort of a oh well I can’t afford to have xyz so I may as well drink. Also, loneliness can be a trigger.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Great work on reaching Double digits @rubyroo2. You can do this!

  • rise2015 posted an update 1 month ago

    Had a long drive from Auckland to Whakatane and back today with my brother, to see my Dad. He is now at the stage that he will not be able to go back home and will either stay in hospital or move to the hospice when a bed is available. The 4 hour drive each way was a great chance to talk with my brother who has been sober for around 10 years now, and ironically our oldest brother phoned while we were in the car and he was nursing a hangover. We both said, we don’t miss those!! My brother was then telling me a story about one of his last trips to the Doctor before he gave up drinking and when the Doctor asked him how much he drank per week, he answered ‘About 130’, the Dr was like 130 what? He said ‘130 stubbies (beer). I recall when he gave up drinking I was amazed, both that he did it, and also because he drank so much every day. Yet, when I stopped last year I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a night, that’s 14 drinks a day, and that is over 100 drink units a week. Probably the female equivalent of what he was drinking. It’s pretty nice having a brother who got sober and understands what an achievement it is. And as we go through seeing our Dad fade away, it’s nice having a brother who is completely there having the same raw feelings as me. Today is Day 364.

    • So lovely you have your brother as wonderful support during this difficult time and must be an awesome feeling you can be sober and present to spend this precious time with your father xxx

    • oh yeah, congrats for the AF year anniversary coming up tomorrow 🙂 Awesome achievement!!

    • So happy you got to spend that time with your brother! It’s nice to have the support! One more day nail one year, congratulations!

    • Izzy replied 1 month ago

      Wow @rise2015 and tomorrow is one whole year. Incredible. Sorry to hear about your Dad, but glad you have your brother and your sobriety xo

    • @rise2015 that is so awesome u and your brother are sober together and have that kind of support from each other to go through this with your father. I am so sorry about your father! That sounds incredibly hard. My father has cancer too. I feel for u. Huge congrats on day 364. That year point is very exciting. 🌼

    • I’m so glad you have support from your brother for both sobriety and losing your Dad. If I don’t see you tomorrow, way to go on one year! Woohoo!! xoxo

    • Day 364….so one year tomorrow…..you legend you!
      oxoxoxo

      And I am really sorry to hear about your dad’s health. I am glad you and your one brother can be present with each other through this.
      xooxxoxoxox

    • I’m thinking about you. Wonderful to have sibling support. Congrats on one year….it’s a huge accomplishment.

    • Oh that’s awesome!! Sad and glorious at the same time. One full year! Outstanding. Better to go through tough times like this sober rather than in a stupor. You’re guaranteed to come out the other side stronger and feeling you’ve done your best. Good thoughts with you.

    • Mornin’ @rise2015, does that mean he’ll be in a hospice four hrs away from you and your brother now? Yesterday sounds like a longgggg day. Thanx for making time to post last night. Wow, you and your lil brother share an extraordinary common ground (re the alcohol thing). Prayers your older bros doesn’t fall into the trap. Well, yeah. I’m from a 3 child family. Ooohhhh the dynamics!!! Glad you got home in one piece. xo Let your day be easy.

    • I love this post, well not the apart about your dad, that’s very sad! But the fact your brother is sober and can understand the journey you are going through and you can both be there 100 % for each other ❤️
      Happy almost 1 year anniversary!!!

    • So sorry you are at that awful stage in life of watching a parent fade away. So pleased you are sober for it and will have a chance to say all the things you’d like to say. And how cool that your brother is alongside with you and I’ll be he must be so proud of you. Huge congratualtions on your one year sober today. Awesome xoxo

    • wow, 364 AF. wonderful sorry to hear about your father. not something that i am looking forward to, you and your brother can be together and present for each other in a sober way. love it.

    • Gojo replied 1 month ago

      @rise2015 great that you have your sober bro in your Dad’s support crew. Watching a loved parent fade is not easy but a very special time of intimacy as well. Sending hugs if you would like them.
      And CONGRATS on your year AF anniversary!

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @Agirl nice work on the helping out there and well done on knowing how to separate the drinking from the other parts of the friendships. Lovely.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thank you @JM and @Winner. I seriously can’t believe how close I am to one year.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @Hammer123, yes the time is coming. I have missed my golf twice this week to look after others, but realise I keep forgetting to look after me.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Yes, I don’t want to replace one bad habit with another @kitten. And actually these last couple of months I have known it was time to work on the sweet tooth and I’ve just been avoiding it (just like giving up alcohol). However, I like to make little deadlines and I have a 2nd interview Tuesday in a clothing shop, and if I get the job, I will want to loose weight to buy all the yummy clothes.

    • sounds like a great plan. the good thing, at least for me, with my new sub of sugar is that this is def new, not a decade old problem. hope you get that job. how fun to get a new closet full.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Yes, it is exciting to be so close to this wonderful achievement – you and me both. And you guys have given me the kick up the bum needed to get out the door and walk. Picking my hubby up from airport in half an hour and then I am going to put my runners on and go.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    You are so right, I know I always feel better for fresh air and exercise. Had to cancel my golf twice this week and Tuesday for commitments to other people. I need commitment to myself and if I can’t golf I can at least walk. Nice reminder and sorry about your dad.

    • Thank you @rise2015 and just think 2 more days and you have ONE WHOLE YEAR! That rocks! Super happy for you. Such a blessing…..keep taking care of you. I find especially the older I get the more I have to make my exercise time a priority for my own sanity particularly when we are going through hard times. xoxoxo

  • rise2015 posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 363 for me today. Counting towards a big anniversary has made me think it is time to lift my game on the diet and exercise. I feel that I have given myself permission to be kind to myself while ‘getting’ sober and the strategy has worked so far. Becoming AF is so hard, that I needed to focus on that as the number one thing. Now, maybe it is time to be realistic about the increase in sweet treats I have let in. Life however is pretty tough at the moment as both my Dad and my Mum’s partner of 15 years have cancer that has come back after having treatment for prostate cancer around 10 years ago. My Dad now has it in his spine and is bordering on needing to be in full time care as he goes in and out of hospital and can no longer move around on his own. My Mum’s partner is home but is at the palliative stage, and he is the grandfather my children know best (my kids are 15), so he has always been very present in their lives as I am super close to my Mum. Anyway, there is a lot of travelling back and forth right now as Mum lives 3 hours away and Dad 4 hours away. So, it’s really good that I can drive without worrying about hangovers, but I have noticed that I am tipping over the edge and crying about the weirdest things which I think is just a build up of not letting them see me upset. So, my husband has been overseas a full week and gets home today and I’m pleased about that. It’s hard when he is missing. And just to top of the stress, my bestie has breast cancer and had a lump removed 2 weeks ago, however, the good news there is that her results for the lymph nodes testing came back okay. I was so relieved for her (and me). There are all my woes – maybe I can keep eating bags of licorice allsorts until things improve. However, I know my mental wellbeing is best when I exercise and this week has been a total failure as my brain has suggested netflix as a relaxation technique. Bye for now.

    • JM replied 1 month ago

      Hi @rise2015! You have so much going on. That is so hard that your father and kids’ grandfather have cancer. Great that your friend got good news. Yes, have liquorice. The sugar will sort itself out. Early one year soberversary!! xo

    • Congratulations on the upcoming anniversary, well done! You will know when it is time to kick the sweets, when you feel uncomfortable enough you will do it and you will feel great and pick up some momentum!

      • Thanks @Hammer123, yes the time is coming. I have missed my golf twice this week to look after others, but realise I keep forgetting to look after me.

    • @rise2015 – life can be such a pain in the neck. cancer just has no manners, it just comes and goes as it pleases. congrats on almost a year. sounds like right now, licorice it is. i have my own newly found sweet tooth. i don’t intend to let the sugar get the best of me, but relearning life sober has been well um, lots of things, you know. driving sober and unhungover and not feeling like you are missing all of your drinks, nice.

      • Yes, I don’t want to replace one bad habit with another @kitten. And actually these last couple of months I have known it was time to work on the sweet tooth and I’ve just been avoiding it (just like giving up alcohol). However, I like to make little deadlines and I have a 2nd interview Tuesday in a clothing shop, and if I get the job, I will want to loose weight to buy all the yummy clothes.

        • sounds like a great plan. the good thing, at least for me, with my new sub of sugar is that this is def new, not a decade old problem. hope you get that job. how fun to get a new closet full.

    • Go get that ten minutes walk, @rise2015! Will be here, with bells on, in just two days time. Malibu

      • Yes, it is exciting to be so close to this wonderful achievement – you and me both. And you guys have given me the kick up the bum needed to get out the door and walk. Picking my hubby up from airport in half an hour and then I am going to put my runners on and go.

    • Hi @rise2015 my Dad is in the ICU…he’s terminal. My brother was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung and lymph node/adrenal cancer. I ran today – I did NOT want to but I did it. Plugged some hard rock in (my anxiety was through the roof) and I feel so much better. Handling things now. I’m thinking about you……a nice 10 to 15 minute walk can completely help.

      • You are so right, I know I always feel better for fresh air and exercise. Had to cancel my golf twice this week and Tuesday for commitments to other people. I need commitment to myself and if I can’t golf I can at least walk. Nice reminder and sorry about your dad.

        • Thank you @rise2015 and just think 2 more days and you have ONE WHOLE YEAR! That rocks! Super happy for you. Such a blessing…..keep taking care of you. I find especially the older I get the more I have to make my exercise time a priority for my own sanity particularly when we are going through hard times. xoxoxo

    • Oh @rise2015 you have so much but you are doing IT!!
      Good on you. Be aware of self care ❤

    • Oh frign heck rise2015 😢 you’ve got so much on your plate xxxoooxxxooo

      Sober hero you xxx

    • Make sure you look after yourself lovely during this very difficult time! If what you need is to eat licorice all sorts instead of exercise then so it without any guilt xxx
      Big hugs for you!!!
      Big congratulations on almost 1 year!!! ❤️❤️❤️

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Welcome @MrsFinallyFree. It’s hard but it’s worth it.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    You showed great strength there @jocord. You are amazing.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Well done @pooks45 for making it through mothers day AF.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Sometimes you need to find it out for yourself that it is not just one @jmtn – for some reason we all think we will be the one who can moderate. I did just one drink to celebrate my graduation 3 years ago, after making it to 6 months, and did just one that day, but by the next week I had another reason to have just one, then just two and actually I can’t see the point of JUST ONE, can you? I finally realised I can’t do just one, and now I am at 356 days AF – it’s worth it.

    • Congrats on 356 days! Almost a year! That’s awesome. And you’re so right…what’s the point of JUST ONE? It’s the alcohol voice in my head that sugar coats it and makes it sound so great, but I know it’s not. I’ve proven to myself too many times that I am not one that can moderate. Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate it!

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hey @rubyroo2 sounds like you might be ready to commit to doing this for your health. I had started getting constant pins and needles which scared me no end, and my liver function had been going downhill for a long while. You might want to get some tests done at the Doctors, so you can see improvement from not drinking. It’s a nice benefit to see that your liver is regenerating and to put your focus on health, as we do take it for granted – until we don’t have it.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Well done. So easy to think it would be just One . Glad u had a good holiday.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    How inspiring @r51. I was a runner too. Once before my first marathon back in the 90s I took 3 months off drinking to prepare. Then I returned to drinking and running. Fully believed I could run the alcohol out of my body but missed a few long Sunday runs because I overindulged. I stopped doing both marathons and half marathons after my kids arrived 15 years ago. Eight years ago I ran and walked a half marathon and I was so slow I felt like crying. Drinking had become more important. As I approach one year I have been considering its time to work on the exercise and diet habits. I think your post just gave me that extra little bit of inspiration I needed. Thank you.

  • rise2015 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Could you try something thru a community college. Do u like writing or creating things? I scrapbook and get together with friends at night for classes. Also I play golf and while this is no good at night you could do lessons for a sport or do yoga or Pilates? It sounds like you might like music but maybe you do something different to pick up a sober friend to go to gigs with?

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