I want to stop drinking forever. I struggle with sobriety and have always used alcohol as a coping mechanism. My Fathers am alcoholic and I feel I am not far behind. I know that it’s stopping me from getting to the next level of my life. I want to be able to say “No thank you, I don’t drink” as opposed to the old line “Ok, just one” . I need support & help.
70 days sober and I realise how much I have grown 🌱.
Alcohol allowed me to rob myself all the time. It would allow me to hijack my own emotions , dwell in lies , dabble in gossip and believe warped stories I created under the influence and suffocate any chance I ever had of being secure in my own self.
Today however, I felt different.
I saw someone from my past and was challenged immediately to move forward, move backwards or stay still with the story I’ve been holding onto for well over a decade. I chose to forgive myself for all the reasons i could think of and after so many years I let out a sigh of relief. I hugged this person and enjoyed the moment of seeing them again. We were friends once, and now that I have forgiven myself for the narrative I once created, I take in a breath that through love and understanding, we can be friends again ❤️
We have choices and I choose to rewrite the story, starting fresh , new and with my own truth 🙏🏾
I have been building a new creation upon the rock bottom of my alcoholism, and finally I can see something new and beautiful beginning to take shape.
There is no such thing as faking it until you make it in this journey. For me, I’ve had no choice but to face it. Head on, in all of its ugliness, shame , guilt and fear. The thing is, I’m doing it. I’m finally showing up , for me. I’m following through on my word to myself. I am no longer disappointed in my reflection. This is the most consistently responsible I have ever been to myself and to others.
Wonderful post, as always. Instead of ‘suffocating’ any chance of being your secure self, you decided to move on, allow a ‘New creation’, be ‘consistently responsible’, ‘facing it’, ‘moving forward’, ‘showing up for myself’, ‘no longer disappointed in my reflection’, ‘seeing something new and beautiful beginning to take shape’, ‘following through on my word to myself’ – such powerful, beautiful words. I am going to quote you at the top of the feed, Hope that is ok. Thank you for these inspiring words.