• pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @enzedgirl. I’m going to try and make it, I think I emailed you. I have a run in the morning so need to get that sorted out first

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks all. I know. I am feeling so conflicted. This whole thing hurts more than it should.

  • pooks45 posted an update 1 month ago

    I was doing so well then the wheels came off,
    I can’t say why. No reason really. No one was to blame. I like it I hate it I like it I hate it. It’s a bloody viscous circle. I wish I had someone who understood to talk to.

    • You’re in the right place

    • Hi @pooks45 I have had the wheels fall off countless time. Try and try to get AF as soon as possible. The first few days are the worst. Try not to fall into the trap of thinking you can drink moderately. Go for sobriety ASAP good luck, be brave and remember all the positives. Most of all cherish the cleared mornings. Keep talking. No blame, no shame go for it. Take care.

    • Hi pooks you’re always welcome at Akl get togethers for face to face chats xxx

      • Thanks @enzedgirl. I’m going to try and make it, I think I emailed you. I have a run in the morning so need to get that sorted out first

    • We all understand all too well. Keep posting, let us help and support you.

    • I think we’ve all had the wheels dome off a time or two, that’s why we’re here. Keep coming back and talking, we are here for you.

    • Lucy replied 1 month ago

      Keep posting @pooks45, I have had many slip ups so don’t worry.. we will support you hear,

    • Yep same in the past, now back to day 9. Things happen and sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why. Today is a new day, don’t beat yourself up. We are human, we err and then we get back up. Lots of people here to listen and support.

    • Thanks all. I know. I am feeling so conflicted. This whole thing hurts more than it should.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Yay you. Keep strong

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Sorry @enzedgirl I have just seen your post. Quite timely as the sober thing hasn’t gone well. Will just depend on when and where

  • pooks45 posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Someone didn’t tighten the wheel nuts on the wagon and I slipped off. Luckily I didn’t get hurt but I shall claim day one.
    I have had a few drinks lately but I can see it happening and happening badly. I have been moderating but I can see this being a daily habit again and that doesn’t work for me.

    • Love your analogy 😁 yip I would say most of us can’t moderate thetas why we are here. Tried it, ticked it of as an not working. So for today I choose not to drink alcohol 😎

    • Yes, same here. I am well aware of how this game works and I can only moderate for so long before it goes wrong. Also, it’s just so mentally exhausting to think about drinking so often.

    • Been there many times…..you are on the right track now!

  • pooks45 posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    “Only you know what goes on in your own head. You know the truth about how you feel about this at 3 o’clock in the morning.”

    Love that quote. Great article @mrs-d

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Oh @sam27 I am so sorry, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I dont have wonderful words of wisdom. All I can say is be strong for your 12 year old who needs his mum. He must be hurting too. You can do this, post in here, talk to us. Perhaps ask for help through your doctor too. Maybe it’s time for counseling if you haven’t already had it?

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Haha @dorothyparker I was like that too but signed up for the Taupo 50km. My turning point was stopping the booze and getting a coach, before that I just did parkrun on Sat and a run with the marathon club on a Sunday, always after a bottle of wine the nights before.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Its running easier @cascadeclimberber when you are not hungover. My training has really improved.

  • pooks45 posted an update 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Hi all. Just thought I would pop in and say hi. The cravings are going. I’m okay with having a cup of tea after dinner now. Sometimes it’s a Dilmah other times it’s something fancier. What I do sometimes have as I’m about to start cooking is a soda water and elderflower drink. The elderflower I buy from Gilmours and it is made by shott. I love their drinks. Oh…and I have some soft jube lollies sitting in a wine glass in my cupboard. It’s a little, treat some nights.
    Now…I’m not going to say I haven’t had a drink. Twice I had a few glasses of wine last week. I have to say I enjoyed them but I know I dont want them anymore. I’m actually very happy where i am. That’s not to say I won’t want wine again, i probably will soon, it’s what addiction does, it makes you want stuff, but right now I feel okay.
    Oh….and I’m getting faster with all my training….damn it. Coach is going to expect me to keep getting faster! Wellington Half Marathon this weekend 🌝😮

    • Oh gawd yes, I’ve signed up for just 10k (I’m a sucker for medals). Ridiculous really for that distance but I’ve not run since the Waiterere Forest Run (another 10k I didn’t train for)…
      It’s really annoying me that despite being on Day 90-something I don’t feel like I have any energy. I used to run a lot and absolutely loved it but right now all I can manage is work and sleep..

      • Haha @dorothyparker I was like that too but signed up for the Taupo 50km. My turning point was stopping the booze and getting a coach, before that I just did parkrun on Sat and a run with the marathon club on a Sunday, always after a bottle of wine the nights before.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Keep posting in here. Keep in the front of your mind your end goal which are your beautiful babies.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @getclear I’ve been running for years. To be honest the last few years I haven’t run as much, mostly because I couldn’t deal with getting up early to run because I was feeling fuzzy. I’ve signed up for a long trail run in October.so I have no choice but to run 4 days a week.

    • @pooks45….good for you. Enforcing your sobriety! I recently took a job that gets me up very early…keeps me sober. Can’t get up early when you’re still trashed from the night before. We keep ourselves accountable. Stay strong! Keep Running!

  • pooks45 posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 35 and a 2.5 hour run to do tomorrow. Time to test foods while out as I will need to eat while out on my big run in October. Love that I’m going to wake tomorrow sober

    • Great job on 35 days! I tried a jell pack on a run in the winter and it gave me cramps so I cut that stuff out! Enjoy your run.

    • Great job! How long have you been running? I think that’s incredible that you’re running that long after 35 days AF…. I could not run a mile if I tried. Congratulations….marathon in October?

      • @getclear I’ve been running for years. To be honest the last few years I haven’t run as much, mostly because I couldn’t deal with getting up early to run because I was feeling fuzzy. I’ve signed up for a long trail run in October.so I have no choice but to run 4 days a week.

        • @pooks45….good for you. Enforcing your sobriety! I recently took a job that gets me up very early…keeps me sober. Can’t get up early when you’re still trashed from the night before. We keep ourselves accountable. Stay strong! Keep Running!

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    I have soda and a syrup or maybe just soda and lime and lately cups of tea. I find I need something sweet, some days I crave the sugar that’s in wine….so I also have soft jubes or barley sugar

    • Agreed it’s the sugar in wine I’m trying to get to I never thought of it as sweet. Always said I hated sweet wines but I guess my body grew to like it🙄. I love lime flavored too. Often do lime in fizzy water!

  • pooks45 posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Well I nearly bought wine tonight. Oh my I wanted it. I text my partner who said to stay strong. I did. I came home, had tea, water, lollies, biscuits. But I didn’t drink…phew. I hope this passes soon.

    • It will pass, it will it will it will!! Just ride it out and remember it is temporary. Read your post from yesterday and remember how that felt😀

      • How are you going dandelion? Keep smiling.

        • Thanks for asking. Going well, one thing I have noticed is how much easier work is. I don’t have to be super prepared for every conversation or meeting because I can think quickly with a clear head, so much less exhausting! Hope you are doing well?

    • Focus on getting better and staying bright and clear. Look forward to the lack of hangover.

    • Almost … but didn’t! Excellent you! You beat the stuffing out of that urge and won! They will become fewer and farther between – and much easier to walk away from … promise. In the meantime, wrap yourself up in how great and clear you feel. Nope. No hangover for you today.

    • Biscuits are always a great idea. Well done.

  • pooks45 posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi all. Day 31 for me. I know I still have a tough time ahead but I know I can do it by checking in here and keeping busy.
    I did a cool trail run in the weekend. I did question my sanity in signing up for a 50km event later this year but I know it will be epic. I ran home from work today. In my heart I know being sober has made it so much easier. Not time wise, I’m still a slug, but I feel lighter, happier.
    Work is going really well. Have my performance review coming up. My manager has given me the documents to read. It’s a glowing read. I’m so happy, I love my job and he wants to help develop me towards a more senior position. Life sure is amazing.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Lol. Great post

  • Day 25. I’m thirsty! I still drink water during the night, not because I’m trying to dilute the poison or god forbid help the sobering process so I feel better in the morning, but because I’m genuinely thirsty. All I was doing was drinking wine instead of water.

    • You can drink all of the water. I love water and have most of my intake in the night. Keep going.

    • Oh that’s good! I drank at least 6 or 7 24oz bottles of water a day my first month. Carried them around and sipped them like a smoker. Kind of created a new but much healthier habit and kept my hands busy. – Also gave me a bit more exercise…all that back and forth to the bathroom 🙂 Keep going – you’re gonna keep feeling better and better – and you’re gonna look great too!

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @maxy. Just start with day 1. Post here every day, just tell us how you feel or what you have been doing. I find barley sugars are good when I get that craving for a drink or maybe a soda and lime.
    Keep busy during the witching hour, go for a walk.
    I’m on day 25 😀

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @jocord. I wonder that too. I think I miss drinks after work with my partner or friends. I just don’t miss the rest of it.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Stay strong. You dont need that horrible stuff.

  • Day 21. Had a craving this afternoon. It hits in the weekend about 3.30 as I would usually have my first wine at 4pm. But I didn’t do anything but a bit of housework instead.
    I’ve discovered the neighbours are having a party. Grrr. I have a 6.30 start tomorrow as I have a 2 hour run to do. I guess if all else fails I will have a sleeping pill….I can as I am sober! Yeah baby!!!

    • Well done on distracting yourself with housework. If you have i stages have a look for Mrs Hinch, she’s an English lady who loves cleaning, she’s lovely as well very uplifting and real

    • I like sober pod casts if I’m feeling like drinking. Just think you will feel awesome tomorrow waking up with no hangover!

  • Just watched Jamie Oliver’s show where he cooks using 5 ingredients. Does anyone have his book? Is it worth getting?

    • Adore Jamie so totally biased. Only have one book, which i forget mmm just googling keto recipes in the last year, no leisurely lovely cook book perusing. I guess I will do that in retirement…

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Oh no, that is so sad. So young. Her poor family

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow! No one I know has a plane. Fancy cars and houses yes, planes no. Lol. Must be a rich lister

  • Day 19. I am not craving alcohol which is nice but I’m sure I have many tough days ahead. What I have found is that i am a little lost at night. While drinking it didn’t matter what rubbish was on TV as long as I had my wine. Now I’m bored but my brain is too busy to do something like read. I’m restless, I think the next thing is finding ways to settle my brain and relax.
    Anywho. I hope you are all great. It certainly is nice to wake in the night feeling great not waking full of self loathing and feeling like crap.

    • Some suggestions for you Colouring in , knitting, crochet, Netflix, good book.

    • Hi @pooks45. I had the same problem. I’m too restless to watch TV for more than an hour or two, so evenings were tough. I suggest putting some music, a podcast, or talk radio on and sort a junk drawer (who doesn’t have at least one?? …) …, clean out your sock drawer (don’t get me started on mine) … color …. serf the web for cool stuff or odd facts …. make a list of things you can do this weekend now that you’re sober … I find having something to do with my hands while there’s a bit of noise in the background keeps my pointy little head entertained for a while. It also gets me a bit tired so I’m ready to sit down and relax and actually watch TV for a little while. Congrats on 19! Three weeks straight ahead!!

    • Congrats @pooks45! Boredome is a huge trigger for many. Me, too. I have a basket of little things I can pick up just to fidget with. Coloring post cards I can mail out to a friend at a moment’s notice, Angry Birds, therapy band I can lay on the floor and do my leg exercises while watching tv, magazines, fidget spinner, cards to shuffle, old files to go through and shred, as mentioned above-drawers, going down a rabbit hole on Youtube, vacuuming, putty to squeeze in my hand…

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yay on day 7! Oh the headache. I had a bad one. Not sure if it was giving up the booze, the cold I got at the same time or both!

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    @enzedgirl email me but I think I have an event that morning. I’m doing the Xterra runs

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Yes @mari135 and they were drinking. I was also told that I was boring for not drinking now. They also had a quizz where it said that alcohol can cause cancer

  • Day 14. Feeling really good. Did parkrun this morning. Then went to a breast cancel event. Got given a bottle of wine which I have here but will give it away. Off for 90 min run tomorrow. Rocking it so far. No cravings really for wine but I know they will come and go for a long time.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    @rise2015 it was fine. I had ginger beer at my partners work and just a soda water when out. I was fine not drinking 😀

  • pooks45 posted an update 3 months ago

    Day 12 is drawing to and end. Great day at work, taught new things which will help make the job easier. Went for a 10km run after work. Was supposed go be a timed run….I took that to be, run fast. Hahaha I run slow. But I did it….well, came in at 9.66kms. That will do. I got back to the car and checked my phone. Youngest had text asking if I had left the pub yet. I phoned him to say that I was not drinking and he said oh…just its Thursday. To be fair he is correct. Thursday was sometimes my going to the pub night but only for a few then I came home to do dinner….and have a bottle of wine.
    So I came home with Chinese for tea, had my shower, had dinner, had a nice cold drink of elderflower and soda, then a cup of tea….now time for bed. I have not even had time to think of wine.
    …and then their is tomorrow night. I’m supposed to be going to the pub after work to catch up with friends who are here for another month. They work on a super yacht that is here. If I dont go I might not get to see them again for years (they are not kiwis). I know I can do it but you can get sick of ginger beer.
    Well lights out time for me. Sleep well those that live down under and have a great day to those up top.

    • Night night,xx.

    • Awesome being up to Day 12 @pooks45. Sounds like you need a plan for tonight @pooks45, need to find something as well as ginger beer that you like at the pub or not stay as long so that you get tempted. It will be great to catch up with these people, but try to remember they are moving on and so are you, you are moving to a sober you that runs super fast because she is not bleeding alcohol out of her system. Keep up the good work and get through today so you can do a big run on Saturday.

      • @rise2015 it was fine. I had ginger beer at my partners work and just a soda water when out. I was fine not drinking 😀

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Oh I must check it out, I have seen her before and she is great

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thank you @mrs-d for being our inspiration. I’m 11 days in and find it hard to believe that I will one day say it’s been 7 years! One day at a time. Xx

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Well done at staying strong

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    That is a very clever thing to do

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Wow 1150 days! Congrats! Sleep well @enzedgirl

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Only tools are to have nice drinks like tea around the witching hour. That helps and also to maybe do some excercise. Right now I’m heading out for a run

  • pooks45 posted an update 3 months ago

    Day 10. I won’t lie, I have voices most days saying, oh just a glass or two or you know it’s okay, you like wine there is nothing wrong with it. But I have stayed strong so far.
    Still have a massive headache which I assume is from the cold that is still lurking around so that’s not fun. I was supposed to go for a run this morning but head was hurting too much so I will have to go after work.
    Anywho, have a great day everyone. Time for me to get out of the car and get to the train.

    • Good on you surfing the urge, hope the headache disappears 🌺

    • Those voices may get pretty loud @pooks45, alcohol is going to try to woo you back. But it so great that you have recognised them for what they are- bullshit. Yell back at them to go away and leave you alone!
      I hope you feel better soon, have a nice run/ walk.

    • You’re doing so well pooks. I remember having pretty bad headaches for probably a few weeks when I ditched booze.

      I used to be a headachey person but guess what! I don’t really get them any more 😊👍🏼

    • Double digits, something I can only dream of!! Pamper,pamper,pamper!!

    • @pooks45. Congrats on 10! Hope you feel better.

    • Double digits, congrats! I hope you’re not relying on just mental strength. What other tools do you have in your toolbox to not drink when you hear those voices? You are super strong by the way! Day 10, the alcohol shoukd be out of your body today. Woohoo! Now it’s on to tackling those voices!

      • Only tools are to have nice drinks like tea around the witching hour. That helps and also to maybe do some excercise. Right now I’m heading out for a run

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @enzedgirl. I’ve decided to just do the short event since I have been sick this week.

  • pooks45 posted an update 3 months ago

    Day 7. Went for lunch with partners family and had a tomato juice and ginger beer. Usually it would have been two or three glasses of wine. I’ve found the last few days tough but I am glad I’m sober as I have an event to run tomorrow.
    Anyway it’s just a quick drop in to say hi and to help keep me honest xx

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    @seni, except coffee. That addiction I am keeping 😁

  • pooks45 posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    End of Day 5. Cold is almost gone and I had thoughts of wine, lovely wine…..no bad bad wine! Instead I got out my pretty tea cup and saucer and made a little pot of tea, took that and the milk and sugar into the lounge and watched some tv. What was missing was shortbread. I think this will be my little ritual at night. I felt tonight I was trying to find some peace….and I found it…well, starting the journey to find it.
    I’m off to my partners tomorrow night. That will be different.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Woo hoo!! Well done 🙂

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @enzedgirl, I would love it!

  • pooks45 posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Good morning all. Day 5. Another day at home with a cold. Usually I would have drink through it but for the last two days I didn’t think about drinking Actually I was googling china tea pots to buy. I have set up two tea cups, a candle and lovely glass on a board on my kitchen bench. It’s my reminder of the new me….long may this last this time. I might visit T2 and try different teas this weekend.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Wow what a great post. Congratulations on getting to 300 days. Thank you bring so honest about your journey so far.

  • pooks45 posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    @kitten I like those ideas 🙂

    • Mine has paid for my daughter to have a safer car to travel between cities. Not a huge amount, but wonderful to think it amounted to something that could save her life and certainly makes her life more pleasant.

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