Hi. I'm a 36 year old man who has battled with alcohol addiction for the past 20 years. Alcohol has been the focal point in my life for so long and for all the wrong reasons.
Alcohol has been a constant fuel to my depression, ill health, anger, emotional disconnection and guilt.
I have tried so many times to give it up but have never succeeded.
I'm worried on so many levels about the harm I am doing to my body, my marriage, my financial position, my potential and my future.
I need to kick this thing in the head, hard, right now and never let it get back up.
From what I have read on this page so far I can't believe the comparisons I can draw from other peoples experience with my own. Honestly my jaw has dropped reading other people describing exactly what I do on a daily basis. This is because I have always considered myself alone in this battle and ashamed of myself and what I do. Being able to read and share on this page has in just two days made me believe for the first time ever that I might actually beat my addiction. Even just writing these words is the most honest I have ever been with myself about my drinking. I feel scared shitless but excited, determined and like I have, for the first time, the tools I need to succeed. Day 2 today, bring on tomorrow.
Hi Team. I saw the doctor today and we had a look back at my blood tests since 2014. Safe to say my liver is not in great shape. However the last one had shown slight improvement so the 80 days sober I had earlier this year must have given some relief. Next step is another blood test in a month and an ultra sound to take an in depth look. This was the doctors idea and not mine, solely based off blood test results. So what now? Well, I’m not short on motivation for never picking up a drink again that’s for sure, but today has given me a pretty sharp realty check to boot. Drinking everyday for years on end of course I knew the damage I was doing to my body and it worried me a lot. But rather than deal with any of it, I would of course just check via the stuff causing the problem to start with. But no more my friends, no more. I will stay sober and in a month feel proud to say my tests see me heading in the right direction and that my body is healing itself and that means everything.
Well done on keeping up with your doctor’s appointments! It is scary as hell and I do mean it when I say give yourself credit for going. My doctor told me that a big issue in the medical world is “non-adherence”. I had to look that up after my appointment, lol. Non-native speaker of English here. So basically people not following up with suggested medical care, patients not taking meds, etc. You faced that fear and saw your doctor, and now you have a “next best step” with that blood test and the ultrasound. Hang in there and get those tests done. It will feel good to have the results, either way. If we give our liver that break, the organ recovers really well most of the time. Lots of love your way and keep us in the loop if you would like to once you know more. oxoxoxo
Yes @phoenix0407, it’s pretty scary what we do to our physical well-being with drinking! Health is everything, for sure! Good for you for heading in the right direction as far as healing is concerned. xo
Wonderful, talking to your doc. My blood work is stellar since quitting. I did find out I have severe osteoporosis, so that is something to check as well. I should have been downing milk instead of alcohol a long time ago.
You’re not alone and you have my empathy, it’s hard to accept what we do to ourselves but we do and it’s human. Well done on facing up to those Dr’s appointments. Your body is precious and worth supporting.