Hi. I'm a 36 year old man who has battled with alcohol addiction for the past 20 years. Alcohol has been the focal point in my life for so long and for all the wrong reasons.
Alcohol has been a constant fuel to my depression, ill health, anger, emotional disconnection and guilt.
I have tried so many times to give it up but have never succeeded.
I'm worried on so many levels about the harm I am doing to my body, my marriage, my financial position, my potential and my future.
I need to kick this thing in the head, hard, right now and never let it get back up.
From what I have read on this page so far I can't believe the comparisons I can draw from other peoples experience with my own. Honestly my jaw has dropped reading other people describing exactly what I do on a daily basis. This is because I have always considered myself alone in this battle and ashamed of myself and what I do. Being able to read and share on this page has in just two days made me believe for the first time ever that I might actually beat my addiction. Even just writing these words is the most honest I have ever been with myself about my drinking. I feel scared shitless but excited, determined and like I have, for the first time, the tools I need to succeed. Day 2 today, bring on tomorrow.
Just about to hit the hay, end of Day 20 so 3 weeks tomorrow. I’m feeling really good, like a different person. Today is Sunday which used to be my heaviest drinking day of the week, that’s saying something trust me! I would be into the wine by 9am at the latest and knock back 4-5 bottles over the day. Needless to say I would then start my week on Monday morning feeling ashamed, anxious, gutted, fragile, helpless you name it. I’d get through as much of the day as I could before getting back on the turps to feel ‘better’. What a cycle and what a bloody mess. Today about 3pm I had a real moment of feeling so happy and proud that I wasn’t drinking I actually said to myself, out loud with a big smile on my face and almost involuntarily “this is so much better!” And it is, it’s really, really, really is. I want to stay like this forever. Happy Sunday everyone you are all AMAZING! Bring on Day 21, bring on three weeks sober and bring on Monday morning I can’t wait for ya!!