• pearl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Your feelings are coming through and into your thoughts. This happens when you take away the numbing effect of booze. Ask yourself “how is this thought helping me”? Answer- its making me feel sad/bad so tell yourself to stop it as it’s not helpful.Our thoughts are just thoughts ,they are like clouds passing by. Acknowledge the thought for what it…[Read more]

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Yup. Me too. No alcohol for me. Ever again. Been free for 4years and 7 months. Yay!!!

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Sad and shocked. Trying to process that this has happened here.

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    Oh hello @behind-the-sofa!!!
    Tom you are a shining star and you’re such an inspiration. I’m not checking in here so often but sober every day for over 4 and a half years. We have our first grandchild living with us and his Mum and Dad so my cup of happiness overflows. Lots of love and congratulations to you on 5 amazing years xxx

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @STP58 you have joined an amazing place.Lots of support here!

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome @Infinite66 – great you have joined in. Loads of support here.

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Disappointing aye @Janus2. Give those kids your best x

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Inspiring words @Agirl. Keep going x

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Love you @Janus2 xxx

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thank you so much @MaryH, @Frog and @Winner. Your replies are helpful and I will make sure I’m prepared when we meet again in May. I have discussed with one of them how I felt about 2 years ago. I will get through this xxx

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Yes the first time it happened one said oh we know you don’t drink so we didn’t invite you. Sigh. I will move on x

    • @pearl if you’d like to join them, why don’t you just ask in light hearted way, ‘if you ladies are getting together before our meeting, I’d love to join you, would you mind if I come?’. If they say they’re drinking and think you may not be comfortable, just tell them, it doesn’t bother you and you’ll bring your own. If it’s such a big deal to the…[Read more]

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    My Male colleague had an awkward moment when he was on his way to the bar and the three women were obviously heading to one of their rooms for drinks and didn’t want to invite him. If I had asked about where the drinks were being held they probably would have invited me but my instincts were telling me not to push it.

    • You should have dashed up to him and said take me! I mean for a soda, not all the other implications …
      It is their sad loss. You are such a lovely, gracious, caring, interesting intelligent person it cannot be anything in the realm of your paranoia – but I know I would feel exactly the same. Can you initiate another sort of get together that…[Read more]

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Dearest @Morgan I need hugging and will also provide hugs. Baby is Devine. 8 weeks old,smiling and cooing and beautiful.We are totally in love with him.

  • pearl posted an update 3 months ago

    Why am I feeling hurt (again) about being excluded from the pre dinner drinks session some female team mates of mine have when we have our team meetings. We only meet up every 3 months or so and all get on pretty well. I think. Being the only one not invited is not nice. For fucks sake why does it matter what’s in my glass? I don’t judge them but…[Read more]

    • I think I’d feel hurt, too. How do you feel about just going without an invitation? You know the comraderie drinking. If it’s been going on for quite awhile the kinship could be pretty strong. But then again, maybe they just feel uncomfortable inviting you. Feeling like the odd one out is never fun. But congrats on 4.5 years, you legend!

      • My Male colleague had an awkward moment when he was on his way to the bar and the three women were obviously heading to one of their rooms for drinks and didn’t want to invite him. If I had asked about where the drinks were being held they probably would have invited me but my instincts were telling me not to push it.

        • You should have dashed up to him and said take me! I mean for a soda, not all the other implications …
          It is their sad loss. You are such a lovely, gracious, caring, interesting intelligent person it cannot be anything in the realm of your paranoia – but I know I would feel exactly the same. Can you initiate another sort of get together that…[Read more]

    • Aw that is really annoying – totally understand the hurt feelings. I have had similar kind of things happen to me. I think rather than worry about it being a like or dislike situation it is simply a matter of them feeling uncomfortable with a non drinker in case they get a bit sloppy drunk. A bit like the old “what goes on tour stays on tour” kind…[Read more]

      • Yes the first time it happened one said oh we know you don’t drink so we didn’t invite you. Sigh. I will move on x

        • @pearl if you’d like to join them, why don’t you just ask in light hearted way, ‘if you ladies are getting together before our meeting, I’d love to join you, would you mind if I come?’. If they say they’re drinking and think you may not be comfortable, just tell them, it doesn’t bother you and you’ll bring your own. If it’s such a big deal to the…[Read more]

    • Frog replied 3 months ago

      Have you told them it hurts your feelings or asked them if you can join in? I think people who are actively drinking often have a black and white understanding of someone who is choosing sobriety and they don’t want to tempt the person.

    • Your achievement is awesome and maybe there are some problem drinkers that just don’t want to be seen . Less obvious when surrounded by other drinkers. ❤️

      • Thank you so much @MaryH, @Frog and @Winner. Your replies are helpful and I will make sure I’m prepared when we meet again in May. I have discussed with one of them how I felt about 2 years ago. I will get through this xxx

    • Farkn witches! Can you just ring and say would be great to catch up with you? I was left out to at times, now i make a bloody point of seeing them. One good friend i just say ” put the jug on ” coming to shag your hubby, try that lol. Anyway you can get out and meet new people, hated it but is doable @pearl not good at it myself but am getting…[Read more]

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hey you @janus2!!!!
    I’m in a bit of a funk but will post about it in a moment x

    • Hello lovely greatly missed friend. I am in a mega funk. Need to see you for a huge hug. How’s baby?

      • Dearest @Morgan I need hugging and will also provide hugs. Baby is Devine. 8 weeks old,smiling and cooing and beautiful.We are totally in love with him.

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    So sorry to hear Fatbum has passed away.
    Feels like the end of a chapter as we all got know your sweet doggie over the years here. Lots of love to you @Janus2 from Pearl x

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @miss.moon great that you are here. Best decision you could make. There’s loads of support here x

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Loved reading this @hunterga.

  • pearl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @Thor love that number 621, isn’t life great?

  • pearl posted an update 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi all I’m about to take my sober self to bed. It’s been a long day with our darling newborn grandson needing lots of cuddling. He sleeps well once he goes to sleep ( yes @Morgan he sleeps!) but there is a knack to getting him into his bed without him noticing. So grateful to be a safe sober grandmother and be able to provide support to our…[Read more]

    • I love being a sober Grandma too @pearl. Wasnt always that way and I cringe when I think of the damage I did! Im currently staying with my 3yr old grandie and sooooo love it. I wouldnt be here if I was drinking.

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