• peacemind posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes I think mine is like yours – exactly. And I’m very sick of myself never getting better just cycling between nearly being on top of it for a couple of days and then feeling really unwell and dealing with several health issues again and around and around I go! Crazy! 🙄

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi – I remember you ! I am on day 3 and like you have now a health issue which I know is directly related to alcohol and have mustered up the energy to not lean on it anymore and feel determined again to try this! Look forward to reading your posts as enjoyed the honesty of them last time. 😊

    • Oh yay @peacemind, three days is good! Nice to hear from you. I hope your health issue is reversible? I think mine is autoimmune related/inflamation related, and there’s no denying it was from booze, as it goes away as soon as I stop!!

      • Yes I think mine is like yours – exactly. And I’m very sick of myself never getting better just cycling between nearly being on top of it for a couple of days and then feeling really unwell and dealing with several health issues again and around and around I go! Crazy! 🙄

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi – the site is working great for me thanks. Although I haven’t posted until now since the change. The family presence of someone with a serious alcohol problem is something I know intimately myself. In my experience they dont want to know unless they are down and out and you are seen as a nuisance. It’s such a shame because you just want to help them see the way but we need to do this for ourselves. A gentle word couldn’t hurt though as food for thought for him. I have done this many times with my parent. I also have my own issues now with alcohol and do not want to repeat the long history of problems I still see in this parent today so I have chosen to stop and it has changed everything within me. All the very best with how you proceed. 🙂

    • Thank you @finallyhere. Day 43 sounds massive, that must be exciting to feel a mental shift unfolding. Hmmm, I was thinking of going down there for the weekend, maybe I do that so the emphasis really on being a son.

      • Very tough for to see. Very tough for your mum. I hope he has a moment of real realisation as so many here have, and gets the poisonous stuff and life wasting habits out of his life.

    • Thanks @peacemind. Realistic advice I think.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you. I know from past efforts staying close is the ticket! And always playing forward. X

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you I needed this today and sounds very much like myself when drinking. I am on day 1 again. So sick of myself but determined to try again. I have done it before and need to get back there. Thank you.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Scares the hell out of me too….wondering what might happen if I was drinking like that again. I made some pretty risky choices and can’t believe my life still looks very normal and no one would know. Apart from me. This is much better waking up with peace and serenity in my heart!

    • Oh God…same here peacemind….risky choices and now I feel like no one knows….my old friends and acquaintances…but new people and colleagues think I am the put together non-drinker. With pearl earrings and a properly tightened and hair-sprayed brown ponytail. ….and….I kinda prefer it that way. Even if some (most) days the put-together seems to only be on the outside but it helps. 🙂

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    It is okay to be kind to yourself and in allowing yourself some room to move we do not fall back into unhealthy soothing habits and techniques. Your honesty is powerful and so helpful to us who are struggling with the same things. Thank you and I really look forward to your very truth telling posts. Xx

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    That is a seriously great track record there the first time! Take comfort in that – you can obviously do hard things. I too want to be a better person , the much calmer nicer one ! Keep trying and best wishes to you.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wonderful post…as always…Thanks. I am learning to self soothe…..that is building resilience in me when I have uncomfortable moments and learning to not reach for the alcohol on a stressful moment but to speak nicely to myself and love myself. Have a good day xx

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 10 months, 4 weeks ago

    I am thankful for what you have created here and I hope you have people within your immediate family maybe siblings you can lean on for some support to get through. You seem a real giver and I hope others stand with you to muddle through the situation that is causing you sadness and stress. Have a lovely day xx

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 11 months ago

    Read through your posts and see what it was that you wanted to change. This gives me a renewed sense and it’s all still the same shit every time I pick up a wine which thankfully is few and far between usually but I too want to be rid of it. It cripples my health in several ways and I just feel so much better without it. But I still succumb whenever I am under immense stress and responsibility. You’d think I would of learned by now but no. Thankfully I am in my early fortys and I am definitely getting there. Every time I cave is another step closer for me.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 11 months ago

    Keep going and regain your inner strength you had collected. It doesn’t matter how many times it takes. It’s not a simple road for everyone. I know this. I struggle with needing to get out of my head and relax when I can’t as I’m a mum and evenings are constant bouncing from one duty to the next. I will get there and find new ways to do things so I can catch a break and you will too. Don’t be hard on yourself on a day when you will feel like rubbish. Reset and off!

    • Read through your posts and see what it was that you wanted to change. This gives me a renewed sense and it’s all still the same shit every time I pick up a wine which thankfully is few and far between usually but I too want to be rid of it. It cripples my health in several ways and I just feel so much better without it. But I still succumb whenever I am under immense stress and responsibility. You’d think I would of learned by now but no. Thankfully I am in my early fortys and I am definitely getting there. Every time I cave is another step closer for me.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 11 months, 1 week ago

    Damn I did a much longer post but only this carried through to you. Yes you describe me to a tee and you are an inspiration thanks.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 11 months, 1 week ago

    Well done!! You are doing awesome

    • Damn I did a much longer post but only this carried through to you. Yes you describe me to a tee and you are an inspiration thanks.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 11 months, 1 week ago

    Communication is a really big thing and can help a lot when issues in a marriage or partnership constantly crop up. I know from personal experience that nothing ever goes away till we learn from it and try something different. Don’t drink on it cause in my experience it makes things so much worse and things get said that can be pretty mean and of course you feel like shit from the alcohol. I have a cold at the moment and my husbands car needed something fixed laat night which we couldn’t afford and we too borrowed the money as he needs his car. Things seem to feel better after you sleep on them. We have two kids and both come from parents who had broken marriages so are not wanting to do the same to our kids that we went through but you need to speak up and honestly and calmly try to be honest about what you need from her without criticising. I find that helps a lot. I’m thinking peaceful thoughts for you.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    I saw and read your brilliant piece of writing earlier today and it was so good! Thanks for sharing. I could relate to so much of it. Thank you. It has inspired me.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Oh wow – I read this with tears in my eyes as you have allowed me to see my thoughts exactly in words on the page. I have slipped a little here and there and I am not proud of it and have once again been numbing the edge of nerves re family medical dramas of ageing parents, life with growing children, business stress etc. We all have this and I do not know how to move through these periods when everything happens at once. I cope very well with one or two big things but four or five pulls me under. I do have a heavy load on my shoulders but drinking is never ever the answer. Day 1 I’m coming for you – again. Thank you for your open honest thoughts and sharing them with us. Xx

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    My mum was very into it all quite a few years ago and its Great! As is kombucha

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    I’m not sure what country you are in but in nz the seek website for jobs is a great resource. Also, are you able to ask your significant other if there is one if they could use connections within their workforce or other for prospective jobs. Often it is who you know and you’re in once they know you are a trustworthy switched on ready to get stuck in person even if not exact skills needed they sometimes will put the time in to teach you for the right person. Don’t take yourself off here as even though maybe tempting in a place of frustration and despair it is a lifeline to have people at your fingertips who can help you as you will often reveal things you wouldn’t to others and can find resolutions a lot quicker to the very things that can have you seeking out the drink in an overwhelmed moment. Best of luck!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    This was brilliant reading – thanks! That is exactly it. Read and reread this and good luck.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    This is me to a tee too and for all those same reasons. Thanks for sharing!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Welcome! You are amongst people who understand. I see myself in your profile and can relate!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Hi

    I am in nz and have suffered hugely with insomnia due to stress and worries for a long time. I have been taking a mix of magnesium and 5htp, tart cherry and passionflower. It is awesome. I can now sleep pretty much successfully through the night deeply. I recommend hugely!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Yes- we can – thanks for the encouragement!!

  • Well I’m.starting again! Day 1 – I seem to go a good week or more not drinking at the moment and then have one or two. I am super sick of this cycle and need to get real. I take great motivation from this site so will read and post more! X

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    A huge congratulations for the strength and effort you have shown yourself. I year – wow!! It is only the beginning for you in terms of your growth but you are well on your way. Your posts have given me such tremendous encouragement and relief to know I am not alone in feeling the way I do. Thank you xx

    • Ohh thanks so much peacemind!!!! oxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo
      You are not alone. You are not alone in here.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Thank you – just wonderful !

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    This is my thoughts for the day too! I’m right in that space as well. I am going to think kind thoughts of myself and be productive and look forward to a great sleep tonight. Good to see you back x

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    I have really enjoyed reading your posts they have given me immense motivation. Get back to where you were after the awful hangover dissipates. It is disappointing when this happens but I have found it to be a renewed sense of purpose that fuels me further. Take good care and go easy on yourself.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Thanks for this – I’m sitting here with my morning coffee and loved reading what you shared here. X

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Ha! This is our pantry yes yes and yes. And I am finally going to get round to making that sucker safe now I have more motivation cause I’m.not tired and or hungover!! Go you!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Be kind to yourself xx I am very hard on myself when this happens and it’s awful. Keep going!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    He probably doesn’t feel.bothered that your husband knows if he lacks empathy. He probably thinks there is nothing wrong with what you two have done and also may believe you will give in soon enough. I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here but I’ve seen this behaviour before. You need to show the strength here.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    This person seems not such a nice person if he is violating your boundaries for his own gain and not caring about what you have said. You are doing the right thing. He will give up. They always do when the fun is gone and you are so doing the right thing. Don’t let the weasel get to you. Keep moving forward with your wonderful improvements on yourself and your marriage will pick itself up.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    What a moving piece of thought provoking writing straight from the heart. Thank you – you have enriched my day and I was already having a great one!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    There’s nothing like today to start again ! Glad you have found your way back. Go easy on yourself and rest.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    @mcmc thank you yes I may reconsider as juggling kids and life without the numbing effect of a glass of wine in the wkend evenings can sometimes be a bit much after a long week at this stage – with existing anxiety that is – I have noticed it is far less without alcohol chucked in from the day before , a-la- slight hangover, but still , I don’t enjoy feeling frazzled and not knowing how to remove myself from that yuck feeling without saying the wrong thing in a moment of frustration. Also reading above I’m looking forward to learning some cbt techniques soon in my newly started counselling – I think this is going to help a lot to reshape my thinking. Food is a big one too and over the years I’ve learnt what to stay away from to feel the best!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    @mcmc thanks for that- that is what I tried and it made me feel quite detached and weird – I stopped taking it after a week a few months ago as I felt it had zapped my zest as well as lowered my anxiety. Did you have this effect at first and then did it come right? Thanks. How long have you been taking it?

    • Have been on it for years actually, low dose, I’d give it more than a week but talk to your doc about it. I’ve tried a few different ones. Was afraid to ‘take’ something for it as I hate that plus i likened it to ‘taking’ alcohol to numb life…it’s not for everyone but I do think it can be helpful

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Could I ask you what you take if that’s ok? I am struggling with this at times and wonder what is possible for this. Thanks.

    • Hi sure it’s Citalopram Which is an antidepressant as often anxiety goes hand in hand with depression. I find it’s the only one that doesn’t ‘numb’ me if you know what I mean. I still feel like me just a less anxious version 🙂

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Just keep going – the fact you keep trying and want it to happen shows some willpower there – every time you feel like crap strengthens the resolve to try again. Don’t beat yourself up too much and use it as fuel for the fire! I’m struggling too but trying hard. Have a good day!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Welcome – you have found a wonderful place – visit here often!

  • Just getting started with my busy day after dropping kids to school. I wanted to say, even though I have stumbled once or twice, never hugely but enough to annoy me, the one constant I have had is this site – I am eternally grateful for the comfort of it and the knowledge of not being alone in my struggle. I feel one million times better with clear sleep and a healthy mind and I know this is the way forward for me after many fits and starts. Last night I caved after a clear weekend of no wine and I had a small amount of light alcohol wine mixed with soda water in a glass, well, I kid you not, within ten minutes I felt irritated and had noticed I was close to picking a fight with my husband and just generally felt off and shitty. This is the thing I hate the most and shocking to see even a tiny amount affects my mental health. All added evidence for me and shows I’m not imagining it. I have read of many others feeling angry and picking fights after drinking on here and it’s such a waste of time isn’t it. I feel positive that this is clear for me and there is no confusion surrounding it. Now just to keep working on not caving in moments of stress and anxiety. I love reading every day here and whilst I don’t often post I value every single persons posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for gifting me with this site Mrs D!

    • I know-this place is my little escape where l can read about others daily experience in sobriety and reflect on my own. I have also mellowed a lot since l stopped drinking. Xx

    • Yes, it’s so nice to know there are others out there who get IT, and there’s no shame or judgment. Good to see you.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    It’s so nice to see you back – I have missed reading your daily updates! Best wishes for your health and well done not drinking at any point! Xx

    • Ohh thanks so much!!!
      oxoxoxoxoxxoxoxox I missed all of you guys too.
      My coping strategy with ‘potentially serious shit’ is to crawl up and hide until I have answers. Now time to relax and go back to normal.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Thank you – yes I agree!

  • peacemind changed their profile picture 1 year, 6 months ago

  • For anyone looking for some amazing inspiration Google “edit podcast” this is put together by two amazing sober ladies and they have just released four new episodes to listen to. I am excited as I am in major need of more strength as I now have three more weeks of school hols to go on my own with kids after my husband has now gone back to work and works very long days. I would put up a link to it if I knew how ! Her name is Aiden Donnelly. I think that spelling is right and has an Instagram account which is fabulous called drybeclub. There is a link to the edit podcast on that. Still feel eternally blessed for the access to this site and the honesty of the people here as I navigate my way through finding freedom from booze! Thanks x

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    I am sure there will be something similar maybe a different Australian brand to be found if you ask – they are not obviously placed I have found! Good luck – I find it absolutely essential to have sparkling water infused with something to pour into a special glass at bbqs or get togethers or something else equally special- I’m in the early stages of not drinking in social situations and the temptation would be too great if I felt I didn’t have anything special that I liked in my hand. Xx

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Pak n save stock it and new world!! Good buzz brand. You will find it in the chilled drinks section with chilled small bottles of juice etc. good luck!

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    I found it in the supermarket !! Was great – I have also seen the Edenvale in supermarket but it’s normally placed away from the alcoholic wines like off to the side.

  • peacemind posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    I think I was nervous maybe about that as was driving and I never drink and drive! I tried the white – will be keen to try the pink as well! I drank kombucha the other night – which was fizzy and gave me a buzz from the caffeine small amount and looked just like bubbles in a glass. I am well stocked here at home as my husband has been given a lot of very nice bottles of all sorts of alcohol from clients and it’s all.staring at me in the pantry and I don’t want to be grabbing that in moment of stress!

    • Wow I have never come across the Lindaur alcohol free …. I do have and enjoy the Evandale af wine that I can only find in a bottleo (go figure

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