• pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    All of your reasons are my reasons too. And the health being the most important as it is to you. Day 9 here and starting to feel better all the way around. I have to keep remembering that there are ZERO benefits to drinking. ZERO.

    Thank you for sharing…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Congrats on 98 days!!! I’m struggling with the fleeting, glamorous thoughts of drinking……and just have to keep thinking about how I felt at the end (which was just last week…:). Not hungover in the traditional sense but just beyond bloated 1 morning from the night before….the drinking and the ridiculous drunk eating. My stomach ached and I just felt scary awful. I didn’t eat the whole day. I didn’t drink that night and made a decision to never feel that way again. So while this is hard, I desperately have to keep remembering how hard drinking was. Horribly hard.

    Good job everybody…:) XO

    • Congratulations, @Lee@. You are making amazing progress!

    • And @pattyw, congratulations to you too. I am just two weeks in myself, but 14 days sober is more than I have managed in more than a decade, so I’ll take it. Thank you for the reminder of the physical pain drinking brings…best wishes and best health to you!

      • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

        Thanks @Bridgette! You are rocking this with 2 weeks! That, to me, is the hardest stretch. Keep on doing what your doing!!

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    You nailed it newstart100…the roller coaster. Happy to give that up. Great post AprilsFool…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Yes…thank you for this reminder. 8 days AF and very grateful but the battle my brain is waging every day?? Wow! I just have to keep remembering the ZERO benefits to drinking alcohol….and the REAL problems you have when you do drink it.

    Congrats to you and your sober wedding!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Awesome Lee! Congrats on closing in on 100…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Congrats Annie on 10 days!!!! And I’m sorry about your relationship. You can do this! We can do this! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Deester….so very sorry about your cousin. I think the preciousness of family and life become more real the older we get. I, too, am 63 this year and like you, I have not 1 clue who I am. I have identified myself with and through alcohol for so long that I’ve forgotten who I am. Or did I ever know? That’s more like it. I feel more prepared this time around to do the hard work, ask the hard questions and wait for the answers. I just know that alcohol doesn’t work for me anymore. Love to you…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Congrats Steve!! Very inspiring….thank you…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hi gage……huge congrats on day 109!!! I feel kinda silly replying to your post as today is only day 4 for me. I hope the merry-go-round with alcohol that has been my life for the last 30 years is over. I can only pray it is. I feel stronger each time I decide “this is it”…as I continue to realize the ZERO benefits to drinking. And I know you know it too….but the resentment is there…I get it. My husband wants to plan a vacation and I moaned “what for? I won’t be able to drink”. I don’t even want to go out to dinner or be with people….so completely screwed up is my relationship with alcohol. It’s going to take a while, that I know. But something pretty profound (I think anyway) hit me rather hard the other day. I was feeling so sorry for myself that I couldn’t drink…have that glass of wine or several summer cocktails. Life just seemed at that moment so depressing and hard. And I realized with some amount of sadness that life will just suck from here on out. Accept it. And then I had this other thought just as quickly….but wasn’t it hard when you were drinking??? Didn’t it suck to wake up each morning full of self-loathing yet again because you just couldn’t seem to get a grip on alcohol? Didn’t you hate the way you felt, the way you looked, the lie that you felt was your life? Not to mention the constant worrying about your health? Relationships with family? And on and on and on. It hit me that life is going to have problems. All kinds of problems…some big, some small. But there WILL always be some problems and things to work on and work out. SO…. I honestly asked myself this question OUT LOUD…which life would you rather have? The drunk life with problems and also……feeling lousy all the time and being truly robbed of precious time with family, always planning the next drink, and for me the worst, the vicious circle of fear and worry that accompany problem drinking? Or do want the sober life with problems……waking each day feeling…[Read more]

    • Congrats on day 4 @pattyw and thanks for your understanding. This sobriety business is certainly a rollercoast ride – you have the hard slog followed by the exhilerating thrill of achievement followed by another hard slog at least that’s how it seems to me. Part of me knows that this is a life affirming decision and yes I say to myself I could try moderation but then I feel that constant monitoring of myself – “I’ll just have one drink well ok two is fine, better not have any tomorrow or the next day, if I’m good I can have a couple at the weekend, OMG am I back to where I was 109 days ago,” would just be too exhausting. Did some reading last night after I posted and went to hip sobriety at the recommendation of another LS member and found some pearls of wisdom about choice and about labelling. I found them valuable. Will persevere on working on my thinking about myself and who I want to be.
      I thank everyone on this site for your unfailing support.

    • Your off to an amazing start @pattyw!

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Congrats Heidi!!! That’s huge! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Off the merry go round.That describes it so well.The continuous battle within yourself…OMGosh, it’s exhausting! I had an epiphany a couple of days ago…..I really don’t like my drinking self. Not 1 little bit. It came to me as clear as if someone was saying it to me. Now…I don’t really know WHO I am…but I know I don’t like the person who drinks. I have to keep trying. It can only get better. Congrats on 79 days!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Awesome!!!

  • pattyw posted an update 2 months ago

    Very inspired by the posts on here where people just keep trying. I have to keep trying. Have a great day everyone…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    So true Dylan! I have no clue who I am…and know that I don’t really like myself now. Really don’t like the drinking me. Really want to get and STAY sober. Gotta keep trying.

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Good one…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Awesome Squizzi! Another day 2 for me but you have to start somewhere right? Just proud that I made a better choice for myself last night. Watched a couple of Interventions and the phrase “You are WORTH it” hit me hard. We are all worth it. Love to all….:)

  • pattyw posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good morning everyone! I had 22 beautiful, sober days….felt so strong, so proud. And then I was confronted with a trigger that I thought I could handle and couldn’t. Just gave in…just like that. Surprising how quickly I made the decision to drink again. It’s like I’ve been trapped in a washing machine for the last 6 days….just round and round….so out of control and full of ups and downs (mostly downs)…. feeling that this will never stop. Obsessing over the drink…the planning again….the all consuming thinking about it. But today is day 2. I want back what I had for 22 days. It was so easy….life was so calm….and I woke up feeling so much better each day. I can do this!!! Hope everyone has a great day. Love to all…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hammer…you are SO right!! Drinking and all that goes along with it (the planning, conspiring, the thinking about it) takes up a HUGE amount of time and space in your head. It is exhausting!! I am 19 days sober today and have also had a 4 day weekend. I can’t believe how much we’ve done, how relaxed I’ve felt, and just how long the days are. Endless hours to fill with good stuff. Congrats on 1 year! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congrats on your 1 year! Truly something to celebrate…:)

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Wonderful on 75 days!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Awesome Lee!! 18 days for me today. Feeling very grateful. (plus I’m down about 10 lbs!!!!) ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Oh wow! Congrats on 1 year!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hi kjpeche….congrats to you on 20 days!!! That’s truly awesome. I’m truly sorry about your husband….and I only have 17 days so I’m hardly one to give an opinion on these things but…..I know that in my last many months of drinking, my husband suddenly became a teetotaler. Where we were once drinking buddies, now I was drinking alone. And I resented the hell out of it. Your husband’s comments good for you and his slow clapping seem like he might be feeling insecure about his choices…and he might be resenting the hell out of you for ending all this “fun” you guys used to have. I know I desperately wanted the strength and courage my husband posessed but I just didn’t know how to get there…and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to get there. Just keep being you. Keep sobriety as your main priority. And be as kind and patient with your husband as you can. Much love to you..:)

    • @pattyw Yes I am sure that is what his problem is. We have been “drinking buddies” for 15 years and now I am committed to sobriety and really finding myself again.

  • pattyw posted an update 3 months ago

    Good morning all. Had a really rough end of my day yesterday and struggled so with the idea of buying some booze. It was painful. But in the end I didn’t. Of course I was all pissy and mad at my husband (what did he do??) but got over it. And this morning I am so grateful I didn’t give in. Reading the posts this morning have given me strength and courage. Thank you all!!!! ox

    • Great reflex . You are doing this , Dealing with uncomfortable feelings RAW . Bravo . xx These feelings always passes .

    • Good for you! For me, the satisfaction I feel later for winning out over the urge to drink only makes the bliss of waking up sober even sweeter. Kiss your hubby. Sometime heโ€™s just in the line of fire. Believe me, he loves you more sober than drunk – even if you get pissy at him sometimes. (Mine does anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Love this Dave! What I know now though is that when I was drinking daily (and a lot) I wasn’t sleeping. I was passing out. I would literally be gone in about 3 seconds. My husband was always amused at how quickly I could “fall asleep”…but then awaken suddenly 3-4 hours later and be wide awake for the next several hours. I’m finally sleeping at night. I am tired from the day and genuinely fall asleep. I don’t sleep well but I’m hoping it improves. Beats waking up with a hangover any day. ox

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Congrats on 150 days! Simply wonderful!!!

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hi Daisy…62 years old here and on day 17 after 32 years of daily drinking. Just so grateful each morning that I didn’t drink the night before. I’m still working so it’s so wonderful to go to work each day now as my best self. Congrats to you!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hi Lee…not really sure if you meant your post to be motivating AND funny…but it was. “90 proof Captain whoever staring at me from the labels”. And the other labels and names? Thank you for a much needed belly laugh. Congrats on 40 days!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • @pattyw it’s all true. I went cheap and big on the booze market at times and would end up with a toxic array of anything that would rid me of the horrible shakes in the morning. Had to have the shit. But hey, spiced rum and coffee is kinda civilized right but the coffee maker seldom got used. My last trick was “Fire Ball”,a sweet and cinnamon flavored whiskey. Great breakfast treat! Try sweating that stuff out. Made for a lovely detox. I’d drank gallons of it before I quit. Just the thought of it makes my sick sick.

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    And eat when you have the drinking thoughts. Helps me out a lot. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Mindless television is HUGE! Good movies help too. Congrats! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Hi Mistchance….congrats on 6 months!!!! 15 days here and enjoying my new found freedom. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thank you. Yes freedom is a good word. Hope you enjoy the road ahead and that you turn to the good folks here if you ever feel unsure of yourself. There is always a friendly face here to talk to.

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Good morning Jaxisdry….I’m with you. Day 15 and working through that completely empty stomach late in the day. I get home and eat. Something. Anything. And once I eat, the cravings are gone. I’m trying hard to balance what I eat but for now, the most important thing is not drinking. If it means another marshmallow Easter egg, so be it.

    Congrats on day 23! ๐Ÿ™‚

    patty

  • pattyw posted an update 3 months ago

    Good morning all!! 15 days today! WooHoo!!! A co-worker, who just happens to make the best sangria in the world (she’s from Spain…:) brought me a thermos full the other day. It was left over from a get together she had over the weekend. I took it from her, not feeling quite ready to tell her that I had quit drinking. I am so grateful to say that it did nothing for me. No temptation whatsoever. I brought it home, told my hubby the story and proceded to throw it down the drain. Of course, there was the inevitable little white lie about how good it was, but I plan on owning up to it 1 day. And besides, I think when your sobriety is on the line, you’re allowed a white lie or 2. Very grateful to wake up today feeling strong and sober. Much love to all…:)

    • Awesome, telling folks about your not drinking can be such a personal thing. I just took my time about who I told and when I told them. Everyone has been really respectful.

    • Well done, and I really mean it, well done! There are a hundred ways that could have ended badly but you did the only thing that prevented them, which was getting rid of it. I had a similar occasion where we were give some wine and there was a 1/2 open bottle in the fridge. I had to ask my wife to pour it out before it got the better of me, I didn’t trust myself enough to do it without taking a swig.

    • Hee hee- whatever it takes to protect your sobriety ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Yes JS123….feeling SO much better. The most exciting thing to me is I have an appetite. I’m genuinely hungry for food….which I haven’t been in 30 years. Well…I’ve had drunk cravings, late at night, eating all kinds of crappy food and feeling miserable the next day. Eating real food, at the right time. Just imagine! So many good things about being sober! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    KikiD…check out the recommended reading on here. So many great books. Just finished Jason Vale’s Kick the Drink …Easily. Highly recommend it. ox

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Goodmorning MissFreedom! Wonderful name and congratulations on 391 days. Hope that’s me 1 day. You absolutely nailed it when you said, I mean what would be the use of going back to that same old boring and dreadful place i know by heart ? So,so true. Booze has let us down in every conceivable way.No more sleepless nights and overwhelming feeling of dread and we roll out of bed. I’ll take this any day. Love to you..:)

  • pattyw posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Good morning everyone! Day 11 and so grateful to wake up today feeling well, not really rested. Solid, good sleep still eludes me. But happy and sober. I took the advice of several people on here and read Jason Vale’s book Kick the Drink…Easily and that’s what did it for me. I can’t recommend that book enough. It makes SUCH sense. I’m 62 and have been a daily drinker for 32 years. I just hope it’s not too late and I haven’t done irrepairable damage to my body. As Jason says, the minute you stop drinking, your body thanks you. I’m hoping mine can heal. Much love to all…:)

    • Well done @pattyw. Im 67 and have been drinking on and off for approx 35 years. On day 5 again and feeling so much better than a week ago. Stay sober. its so worth it.

    • going well @pattyw with 11 days under the belt. I am halfway through Jason Vales book and I have to say it has changed the way I think about drink….for the better. Have a great day

    • Hi @Pattyw. I’m 62 too and have been a daily drinker too for about that time. I worry about the damage too, especially cognitively! But 7 weeks out I am amazed how much better I feel-sleeping great, much calmer with reduced anxiety, better attention, better mood, weight loss-so I know I’m doing my body and life a wonderful thing. Started getting much easier after about 3 weeks. Let’s do this together-it’s a wonderful season of our lives to be AF.

      • Yes JS123….feeling SO much better. The most exciting thing to me is I have an appetite. I’m genuinely hungry for food….which I haven’t been in 30 years. Well…I’ve had drunk cravings, late at night, eating all kinds of crappy food and feeling miserable the next day. Eating real food, at the right time. Just imagine! So many good things about being sober! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    So sorry for your cat. But wonderful for you! 12 days!!! Praying that’s me very soon. Ordered 2 books recommended in the tool box. Kick the Drink and Unexpected Joys of Being Sober. I can do this!!!!!!

  • pattyw posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you Clowance….:)

  • pattyw became a registered member 4 months, 1 week ago