• Parky posted a new activity comment 3 days, 13 hours ago

    Yes, he does know. He doesn’t seem ready to stop, though knows he should. I am trying to channel Jason Vale, that it is my gig and to not be a whingy ex drinker but yes, it would be a lot easier if he would do it with me.

  • Parky posted an update 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Felt proud of myself last night, partner brought home a six pack and bottle of white. I did not partake. It’s really just that making/having dinner time for me that’s challenging but before you know it, it’s over and time for a cup of tea.

    • Good for you! Yes, I was amazed that the cravings often passed before the evening was over. Strange, because when they would come, they promised that they’d never leave until I had a drink. Lol, alcohol lies so much.

    • Oh I hear you, dinner is my biggest trigger. I always had a glass (3) of wine while making dinner. Fastest buzz with an empty stomach. I know that as soon as I eat I will be so much better.

    • Congrats for being so strong. Does your partner know you’re giving up alcohol and if so, could you suggest they don’t bring home alcohol while you’re trying to get passed the cravings? I know that might be hard for them, but hopefully they’ll support you?

      • Yes, he does know. He doesn’t seem ready to stop, though knows he should. I am trying to channel Jason Vale, that it is my gig and to not be a whingy ex drinker but yes, it would be a lot easier if he would do it with me.

    • Yup, same for me – making dinner was the time I would toss back the most. So much so that often times I was totally drunk throughout actual dinner, which really isn’t that fun. It helps to have another delicious beverage on hand during that time (for me anyway), and as more and more days sober pile up for me, dinner time is no longer scary to face without booze. 🙂

    • congrats, @parky. what a great accomplishment.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 days, 7 hours ago

    I really like that suggestion, thank you x

  • Parky posted an update 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Finally finished Jason Vale’s book. I believe I have just had my final drink. Drinking makes me argumentative, lethargic, depressed, fat and provokes my allergies and asthma. Not gonna count days. It might feel like I have a new car, where the wipers and indicators are on the opposite sides for a few weeks, bit then I’ll be used to it.
    And I will be a Lot better off.

    • Great book❤️

    • I am so glad you liked it!! It was an eye-opener for me and I read it twice over the last two years.
      oxoxox

    • Hehe, all that for me, plus anxious. I’m better off after 12 weeks sober. It’s a longer journey than I initially thought it would be, but I’m taking it one day at a time and am grateful for every one.

      • @whynot your “longer journey than I initially thought” comment caught my eye and made me smile, because I’ve often thought there was a lot more to this then I ever would have expected. Quite a ride, isn’t it? Good far outweighs the bad. I, too am grateful, as unfortunately, not everybody makes it….and those results are sad.

    • Oh you will definitely be better off. If you stick with it, you can count on that. Counting days doesn’t work for everybody. But if I may offer a suggestion … I recommend noting your feelings and reactions instead. For me, after the initial sucky first little while, I began to notice things – feeling a bit brighter, looking better, more patient and calm. I began to really take note of them. It helped a lot. More than counting days, I was actually noting the change that was occurring in me. Instead of counting days away from alcohol, I was noting positive changes toward a whole new way of feeling. I found it fascinating – and still do. So if you’re just starting, good luck! Whatever works, works. But the end result of taking alcohol completely out of your life is awesome.

      • I really like that suggestion, thank you x

      • I like that…”days AWAY from alcohol” instead of “this many days Not having alcohol”

      • I agree 100% with @AprilsFool. I often have to check my counter to remember what day I’m actually on because that piece isn’t as important to me as the changes I see happening. I have become keenly (sometimes painfully) aware of my thoughts and feelings because I spend so much less time thinking about “what time is it? Is it too early to start drinking? Do I have enough beers? Do I have some change to run to the store with? Will I want more than two? ” on and on and on. Now, there is so much more SPACE in my brain. My body feels different, and I have had a lot of time to really deeply consider booze in a way other than getting it, having it and having more of it. I can look at my entire history without because I am no longer focused on just getting to the time of day that I can start drinking. It’s scary and sometimes unbearable. It is also amazing and feels like healing. It’s going to take a long time to work through. I’m up for the challenge and I hope you will join me. 🙂

    • Wow, Parky, great decision. I like your resolve.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Thank you @jm
    Having a quiet day with a nap, enjoying looking after myself

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Thanks, that resonates. A simple no, not tonight. X

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    That is so interesting @jocord. I will try to play it forward to us feeling happier and better. We tend to share a bottle of wine, or some beers, so unfortunately I won’t be able to put any away. I just have to be the strong one and not participate.

  • Parky posted an update 4 weeks ago

    Big day for me, actually.. Having Mirena (IUD) removed – finally. Have had it over 4 years and first started to suspect it may be contributing to my feelings of tiredness/depression almost 2 years ago, but it has taken a looong time for my partner to get vasectomy and all clear. Hoping to notice a change in the coming days, though understand it may not be a magic cure all..

  • Parky posted an update 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Day 2 fail..
    My partner called on his way home from work, basically checking whether he should pick something up. I said I was trying to be good but within a minute or so I agreed he could bring something home, as it was clear that was what he wanted..
    Going out for dinner tonight. Somewhere I would usually have a couple of beers. Gonna have to be super strong and stick to lemonade..

    • My hubby would always bring “my usual” home for me when he knew I couldn’t go out. I always thought in my addled brain that meant he didn’t mind my drinking, and in fact, encouraged it. When I quit, I didn’t tell him and let what he brought me hide in a closet. After several days I brought it out and put it all on the counter intact. He knew something was different this time and so did I. Now I know he had just given up on me quitting and he could do as he liked as long as I had enough booze to keep me happy. He now can’t stop telling me how much happier he is, we are, how proud he is of me, and how much better our life is. I had to break that co-dependant bond in order for me to quit.

      • That is so interesting @jocord. I will try to play it forward to us feeling happier and better. We tend to share a bottle of wine, or some beers, so unfortunately I won’t be able to put any away. I just have to be the strong one and not participate.

      • @Jocord—i think co-dependency is a biggie for us. must read more about it.

    • Thanks, that resonates. A simple no, not tonight. X

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I know. How bizarre that we have to work so hard to enjoy something initially, then struggle to give it up

  • Parky posted an update 1 month ago

    Made it through wine o’clock no problem. New strategy – cooking food that doesn’t ‘go nicely with a…..’.
    So really simple sweetcorn/vermicelli type soup. Totally unnecessary to pair that with a beverage!
    Moving straight on to cup of tea and a little dessert 😉

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      Good on you for finding a way through. I never brought into that th8ng about matching wine and food. My sis goes on about the taste of oak and berries in her wine, I feel like saying so when did you last eat oak lol.

      • I know. How bizarre that we have to work so hard to enjoy something initially, then struggle to give it up

    • Ha great strategy- love it!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Sounds good @berealme👍
    None of my friends where I live now really know I have a problem, so I really need this community. My mum has a problem too, so not much help there..My partner is often as bad or worse than me, but he also has the capacity to reign it in to support me, which he did really well in my last (only) sober period..

    • I totally get that. My issue is kept quiet as well, on account of my career. I am fortunate to have a supportive hubs, but I know its hard to be around people who are enjoying it regularly. We have got eachothers backs. 🙂

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Hey, really identifying with you, even being 39! I’m day one (again). Planning on making checking in here a priority.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks. Putting that one in my sober toolbox!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Exactly. Sometimes I have been strong and not bought anything to drink but an afternoon of parenting leads me to call my partner and beg him to pick something up on his way home..

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Yep. I spent a bit more at the butcher to get something pre-prepared so I could just bung it in the oven (Figured I was saving $ on booze)!
    We are a couple who really like preparing food, but our trap is feeling like a piece of salmon really needs a bottle of white etc etc etc. Got lots of patterns to relearn..

  • Parky posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Started cooking dinner way before my partner got home and before I knew it, tricky time was over and time for a cup of tea! I never feel like drinking after dinner, it’s just that time when one of us is cooking and the other is sitting up at the kitchen bench that it’s easy to be 3 drinks in before dinner…

    • Great work @parky – before dinner was always my bewitching hour, so made sure i came home, made dinner and ate it straightway before that Wine Witch was in my ear 🙂 If it was going to take a while to cook dinner, i made sure i kept myself busy doing anything to keep my hands occupied.

      • Yep. I spent a bit more at the butcher to get something pre-prepared so I could just bung it in the oven (Figured I was saving $ on booze)!
        We are a couple who really like preparing food, but our trap is feeling like a piece of salmon really needs a bottle of white etc etc etc. Got lots of patterns to relearn..

    • Sounds like you figured out a solution to part of the problem. Keep on keeping on!

    • @parky – I did the same…..would start cocktailing as I cooked before anyone came home, I was a nearly a bottle of wine in already.

      • Exactly. Sometimes I have been strong and not bought anything to drink but an afternoon of parenting leads me to call my partner and beg him to pick something up on his way home..

    • Oh sooo true. Now when I get home the first thing I do is have something to eat BEFORE I start making supper. Yup. I always associated that whole ritual of cutting and chopping with sipping and sipping (well, actually it was guzzling, guzzling if I’m to tell the truth here). A whole bottle in before I ate – and of course I wasn’t hungry but then. Good for you!! Kick that wine witch to the curb! Congrats.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi @em76 How you going? I am day 1 and thought of you because back in January we were in sync! Hope you’ve been doing well

  • Parky posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Alright, I’m ready. Got my Jason Vale from the library, have worst cold ever and a six pack last night did not help. Day 1.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    True @tipsytoegal, I did see a big change with my sinus/allergy issues in my period of sobriety. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t lose weight! Since then, I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, trying to work on my diet and procrastination issues but not making huge headway there, either. Need to put alcohol back as the #1 issue..

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @mend I will try that, it’s how I feel at heart, that’s it is.shit and ruining my life. My partner drinks about the same as I do but doesn’t experience those feelings of shame or regret. He’s on holiday right now so is more inclined to drink..
    I’ll have to give Jason & Annie another go. I borrowed them from the library as ebook and audiobook respectively, because I don’t want my kids to see me reading them, but I didn’t enjoy either format..

    • True @tipsytoegal, I did see a big change with my sinus/allergy issues in my period of sobriety. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t lose weight! Since then, I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, trying to work on my diet and procrastination issues but not making huge headway there, either. Need to put alcohol back as the #1 issue..

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks @jm and @lizzy. I guess I need to trust that this works. I am not a naturally sharey person on social media so it’s very weird for me to get into it. It was working for me having alternative beverages on hand but I stopped that because I felt like it was making everyone in the house (teenager included) drink soft drink daily, when previously we never had it on hand. Maybe I will try some kind of tea that no one else will like?! I had a bit more time in January and was doing a bit of reading on sobriety but since work/uni/school year got going I haven’t really carved out any time for ‘extra’ reading or podcasts etc…
    Didn’t drink today, and now it’s bedtime

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Maybe. I feel pretty honest with myself – I know I have an addiction and that I need to stop. January was my first period of sobriety in quite a long time and I found it easy, but once I broke that chain, I seem to have rebounded to be worse than ever, which I find odd. Or is this a known pattern? Hope that makes sense..

    • It is not unusual for that to happen. For me, it was experiencing the difference between sobriety and drinking that like, made me more AWARE that there IS a difference. I think for so long, when I was drinking, I didn’t realize all of the myriad of “little” ways that it was affecting my life/health etc. With a period of sobriety, I saw the differences. And then when I found myself slipping again, it was like “wow, this is real… what if I cannot ever achieve permanent sobriety!!” So it was the fear of failure that kept me stuck, along with… the idea that just BEING sober felt so foreign (even though it felt good)….familiar sometimes becomes more safe feeling than the “new.”

  • Parky posted an update 3 months ago

    I’m having a problem. When I found this site in early January, it was immensely helpful. I didn’t want to break my ‘word’. Now that I have, however, I feel like I can’t recapture that feeling. I seem to be worse than ever, caring less than ever. But I know I have to stop…

    • Sounds like you are struggling with honesty to yourself @Parky.

      • Maybe. I feel pretty honest with myself – I know I have an addiction and that I need to stop. January was my first period of sobriety in quite a long time and I found it easy, but once I broke that chain, I seem to have rebounded to be worse than ever, which I find odd. Or is this a known pattern? Hope that makes sense..

        • It is not unusual for that to happen. For me, it was experiencing the difference between sobriety and drinking that like, made me more AWARE that there IS a difference. I think for so long, when I was drinking, I didn’t realize all of the myriad of “little” ways that it was affecting my life/health etc. With a period of sobriety, I saw the differences. And then when I found myself slipping again, it was like “wow, this is real… what if I cannot ever achieve permanent sobriety!!” So it was the fear of failure that kept me stuck, along with… the idea that just BEING sober felt so foreign (even though it felt good)….familiar sometimes becomes more safe feeling than the “new.”

    • JM replied 3 months ago

      Hi @Parky! It can take awhile, hang in there, don’t give up on yourself, you can do this. Keep posting. : )

    • Hi @Parky it sounds like you need to go back to basics. What sober tools did you use back in the early days that helped you? And what new things could you try? I found podcasts like Bubble Hour and Home really helpful, and I did a lot of reading. Jason Vale “Kick the drink easily” is excellent.
      I had a wobble after 200 days and it was really hard to get motivated again, so I can appreciate where you are coming from. But you can do this. Focus on what you want your future to look like. 🙂

      • Thanks @jm and @lizzy. I guess I need to trust that this works. I am not a naturally sharey person on social media so it’s very weird for me to get into it. It was working for me having alternative beverages on hand but I stopped that because I felt like it was making everyone in the house (teenager included) drink soft drink daily, when previously we never had it on hand. Maybe I will try some kind of tea that no one else will like?! I had a bit more time in January and was doing a bit of reading on sobriety but since work/uni/school year got going I haven’t really carved out any time for ‘extra’ reading or podcasts etc…
        Didn’t drink today, and now it’s bedtime

    • Hey @parky, have you tried reading Jason vale’s book or this naked mind? They are great for retraining your mind to see alcohol in a different light. The 30 day alcohol experiment is also a great tool. For me, I’ve been back and forth with sobriety man6 times and I sympathize with trying to recapture the feeling of being resolved not to drink. For me, what has helped is demonizing alcohol. Every time I think “a drink would be nice” I think “there’s that little shit alcohol trying to ruin my life again”. Get mad at it, call it names…..seems to help and it’s not berating yourself which is something I used to do.

      • Thanks @mend I will try that, it’s how I feel at heart, that’s it is.shit and ruining my life. My partner drinks about the same as I do but doesn’t experience those feelings of shame or regret. He’s on holiday right now so is more inclined to drink..
        I’ll have to give Jason & Annie another go. I borrowed them from the library as ebook and audiobook respectively, because I don’t want my kids to see me reading them, but I didn’t enjoy either format..

        • True @tipsytoegal, I did see a big change with my sinus/allergy issues in my period of sobriety. I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t lose weight! Since then, I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, trying to work on my diet and procrastination issues but not making huge headway there, either. Need to put alcohol back as the #1 issue..

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    I can empathise, I also had wine last night and regret it very much. Let’s get back up and move onwards x

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Yep, I will not drink today

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Had a bit more sleep and head is ok. Just nauseous. That’s a good suggestion, thanks x

  • Parky posted an update 4 months ago

    Hating myself for drinking wine last night.
    Here I am, sleepless, stressing about how much I have to do tomorrow, no bloody paracetamol in the house.

    • I know how that feels! That was my Monday night. Just keep trying, it’s all part of the journey.

    • Hi @Parky. Have you got a little something sweet to put in your water at the moment? It might help ease your headache? if you’re having a sugar crash.

      • Had a bit more sleep and head is ok. Just nauseous. That’s a good suggestion, thanks x

  • Parky posted an update 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Been reading ‘Bright Line Eating’ today and looking forward to starting tomorrow. Makes a lot of sense, another great recommendation from @mrs-d

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    I’d been drinking moderately since Feb 4 (see previous post!) But yesterday was a blow out, like I used to do regularly. My partner went and bought a 6 pack of beer and a bottle of wine to share, which is way more than I would personally bring home. If it’s in the house, I want it all. If it’s not there, I really don’t care.
    I’ve also been back in a spiral of loathing my work, after a period of feeling a bit more positive about it, and that seems to send me into a ‘Well fuck it all, may as well have a drink’ mindset

  • Parky posted an update 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Starting again..27 days was a good start

    • 27 days was a great run. Did you figure out what to avoid this time?

      • I’d been drinking moderately since Feb 4 (see previous post!) But yesterday was a blow out, like I used to do regularly. My partner went and bought a 6 pack of beer and a bottle of wine to share, which is way more than I would personally bring home. If it’s in the house, I want it all. If it’s not there, I really don’t care.
        I’ve also been back in a spiral of loathing my work, after a period of feeling a bit more positive about it, and that seems to send me into a ‘Well fuck it all, may as well have a drink’ mindset

      • Hopefully a good learning curb, onwards and upwards XX

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    I was out at lunch that day, so it was easy to stop at 1.
    For a long time, when I drink at home, I have bought modestly as I also have no stop button!

    • I relate to that Parky. I would limit myself and used harm reduction for a long time. It was the last month of my drinking it increased and I was struggling to bring it back to the limits I imposed on myself. Got too hard in the end for me. If I had more money would have drank more. Even a little bit left me depressed and anxious the next day. My brain was over it.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Thanks @Frog
    That is very helpful

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Will check her website or try getting hold of the hard copy of the book. I borrowed it from the library as an audiobook recently but didn’t get very far..

  • Parky posted an update 5 months ago

    So, since I ‘stopped’ drinking on January 8, I have:
    Shared a bottle of champagne on Feb 4
    Had 3 beers Feb 8
    Had 1 beer Feb 10
    Had 2.5 beers Feb 14.
    I still feel like I have made a huge change from where I was at, but can’t really work with a day count based on the above!

    • @parky I suggest reading The Naked Mind by Annie Grace that talks about what happens when we try to quit but we are still giving ourselves some periodically. It’s a fantastic read with zero guilt, most of it scientifically based. You might really enjoy it. She has a website too if you want to check it out. I think you have done really great in cutting down, fantastic job. I just know for me anytime I ingest it I have to start all over again with the detox because it affects me even in small amounts. 🙂

    • You have done really well. Harm reduction is really a great first step and by counting your alcohol intake, you are being aware and thus working harm reduction. You don’t have to do a day count. You also don’t have to be fully sober to be working on sobriety. At some point, you will likely choose total abstinence. Just keep trying.

    • Its about the journey, and although we are all on the same journey we take different paths… your counter is yours to use – or not use as you see fit… celebrate your acheivements, and do what works for you xx

    • That’s actually a very modest intake, don’t know that I would have been able to stop at one anything unless that was all that was available.

      • I think it’s great reduction in intake!

      • I was out at lunch that day, so it was easy to stop at 1.
        For a long time, when I drink at home, I have bought modestly as I also have no stop button!

        • I relate to that Parky. I would limit myself and used harm reduction for a long time. It was the last month of my drinking it increased and I was struggling to bring it back to the limits I imposed on myself. Got too hard in the end for me. If I had more money would have drank more. Even a little bit left me depressed and anxious the next day. My brain was over it.

    • I’d call that pretty good going, as long as you can stop at that. I’d probably neck a bottle of vodka if I started, so for me safest not to start.

  • Parky posted an update 5 months, 1 week ago

    I’m calling this day 30 – taking off a day as I shared a bottle of champagne with my partner on his birthday. It was planned, it was moderate, we both agreed afterwards that we didn’t really enjoy it, so am taking one day off but not going back to zero. We have totally reset this month, from daily drinking to not even thinking about it.
    In other news I’ve just started listening to ‘This Naked Mind’ on recommendation from people on this site. I don’t usually listen to audiobooks so it’s taking some getting used to.

    • Great going staying away from the grog, @Parky. I agree, audiobooks are kind’a funny to get used to. Still not sure if I dig it or not. hu…might be different if you’re taking your walk and listening? Dunnnooo. S’pose you have to like the narrator’s voice ~

      • Happy for you to have reset… its such a reward not thinking about drinking all the time. All the best going forward…

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    I hear you. People often think I’m drunk when I’ve literally had one or two, I think my eyes go sleepy or crazy or something – very unattractive!!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Exactly, ‘just one’ has not been the story of the last 20 years, be kidding myself if I thought I could make it work now!
    Such a relief not to feel anxious afterwards about being too chatty, too this, too that.

    • Oh yes, that’s a good thing to recognize. I ended up not being able to drink outside the home the past 3 years. I would start getting sloppy so quickly. Not fun. It’s a relief not to have to think about those things! 🙂 Good for you.

    • I hear you. People often think I’m drunk when I’ve literally had one or two, I think my eyes go sleepy or crazy or something – very unattractive!!

    • Yep, I can’t hide it any more @parky too old for that! hahaha!

  • Parky posted an update 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Went to a BBQ on Sunday night with some other families from my daughter’s class. At one point the host offered us a glass of wine. My partner and I opted for ginger beer instead and actually no one ended up having any alcohol. I am guessing that if I had said ‘Yes’ the host would have joined us but didn’t necessarily want any wine herself. It was a bit of an eye opener, it usually seems like everyone drinks. Turns out they don’t!

    • @parky nope they don’t! LOL. It seems where I’m at people have alcohol just as a courtesy but normally just one. hahaha (which is NEVER enough for me of course!). 🙂

      • Exactly, ‘just one’ has not been the story of the last 20 years, be kidding myself if I thought I could make it work now!
        Such a relief not to feel anxious afterwards about being too chatty, too this, too that.

        • Oh yes, that’s a good thing to recognize. I ended up not being able to drink outside the home the past 3 years. I would start getting sloppy so quickly. Not fun. It’s a relief not to have to think about those things! 🙂 Good for you.

        • I hear you. People often think I’m drunk when I’ve literally had one or two, I think my eyes go sleepy or crazy or something – very unattractive!!

        • Yep, I can’t hide it any more @parky too old for that! hahaha!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Soda Stream!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @sobermommy1013 and @missfreedom – I didn’t phrase that very well! I am feeling good, I meant that drinking is unappealing because it leads to feeling sick/sore head/ not in control!!

    • @parky good job on 18 days! I think it’s so sweet you are going through this and thinking of how to ease your partner’s stress. You are a thoughtful person. Once you get to feeling better sky is the limit on what you can achieve. But for now first things first, staying sober one day at a time! 🙂

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good stuff. I hadn’t considered yet what I would do if given a bottle of something, but it does come up.
    I told a few people on Sunday that I wasn’t drinking (friend’s going away thing at a bar) and one friend wanted to buy me ‘just one’. I had no trouble laughing and saying ‘It doesn’t work like that’! and felt good about being strong.
    As an aside I love reading your lovely, positive comments @dragonfly76! I am on this page every day but not always posting and feel such a nice energy coming from you to everyone!

    • My sneaky sister gave me 3 bottles of Merlot for Christmas knowing full well I had quit drinking 9 months previous. Her husband wouldn’t let her buy bottles for herself and she knew I’d leave them for her. She even feigned trading me rosé for merlot knowing she could keep them all when I said no. Ok, yeah, she has a problem. I should feel bad for her. Trickiness is one of our addictive traights, right?

  • Parky posted an update 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 18, zero desire to drink. Feeling queasy, headache, out of control – there really is no fun in that! Not especially ‘relaxing’ either!
    Now I just need to get going with an exercise routine that I can keep up. Also want to make a change with my work this year, I so wish I made more money so that my partner could scale down or change his work – he is really hating it this week..

    • Firstly, well done on 18 days!! That is no small feat and you should be proud of yourself, even if you aren’t feeling that great. Take it one day at a time, friend. things will fall into place!

    • Hang in there , the beginning is the hardest part , mentally , physically . IT GETS BETTER . And bravo for 18 days , that is so great . xx

      • Thanks @sobermommy1013 and @missfreedom – I didn’t phrase that very well! I am feeling good, I meant that drinking is unappealing because it leads to feeling sick/sore head/ not in control!!

        • @parky good job on 18 days! I think it’s so sweet you are going through this and thinking of how to ease your partner’s stress. You are a thoughtful person. Once you get to feeling better sky is the limit on what you can achieve. But for now first things first, staying sober one day at a time! 🙂

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    It’s the key + most trainers/tutors/lecturers are super generous with their time and knowledge. Let them talk long enough they will basically tell you exactly what to write!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    I had a similar situation in 2015 where the Diploma I was doing was changing and all of a sudden I had to finish it by June. I had been doing it very slowly til that point and with a newborn was really not in the mood to knuckle down! Anyways, I had a very productive meeting with a trainer at the institution, who really spelled out exactly what they needed from my assessments so that I wouldn’t need to re-submit anything. I really utilised phone/email support and wished I had done that earlier in the Diploma! I don’t know if that’s how your course is structured but wanted to share in case it helps!

    • Thank you so much for that suggestion! I will definitely be doing that ❤️

    • It’s the key + most trainers/tutors/lecturers are super generous with their time and knowledge. Let them talk long enough they will basically tell you exactly what to write!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    Fantastic @Em76 I need to google H-A-L-T!

    • @parky Yes google it! SOmeone mentioned it here and I looked it up and I immediately thought – wow, that’s me. If I’m Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired I’m really vulnerable to drinking. Hungry and Anxious (I don’t get angry as much as I get anxious so that’s my A) are my big two, so I’m trying to catch myself feeling those things and take care of them before they become enough of a problem to make me feel like drinking. SO much good stuff on HALT out there! 🙂

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    Couldn’t agree more, day 15 for me and feeling l so much better physically and emotionally.

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    Welcome @poojas great that you are here!

  • Parky posted a new activity comment 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    I think that’s good advice @jocord
    I have stopped without too much fanfare and it seems to be contagious, my partner has cut right back, having one or nothing. No doubt we enabled each other’s unhealthy level of drinking

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