• Good morning everyone! Just woke up to day 20 sober and feel awesome. The kids waking me up at 5:40 was a bit tough but still feel great! Headaches finally went away too. Was probably sugar withdrawal like someone mentioned on here.

    I am going out for first time tomorrow since being sober. Haven’t told my friends yet. Most of them are friends since kindergarten but some are not. When you first told people you weren’t drinking anymore, did you straight up tell them you are done drinking or did you say something like you are taking a break, don’t feel like it tonight, etc?

    • Congrats on 20 days @nixon35 – that’s serious sober momentum!!! I think the key is to do what you feel comfortable with, and remember you do not have to explain your choice to anyone. I am more private so I just ordered an AF drink quietly, and if questioned said “doing a cleanse” or “don’t feel like drinking tonight”. Its usually a surprise that people care less about our drinking/not drinking than we think they will. =) Good luck!!

    • Glad you are doing so well @nixon35. 20 days is awesome and yes it does get better. I used to tell people that I wasn’t drinking because I had stomach issues. Now, I just tell them I don’t drink, I decided to quit. Most don’t question it. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Have a great day!

    • Hi @nixon35 well done on 20 days! Excellent work! And you made it through Christmas too, which is no mean feat. Go you! When I first quit drinking I told people I was doing “Dry January” and then in February I told them I felt so much better that I had decided to keep it going a bit longer. And after that I just stuck with that story, so now when people ask I say ” I did Dry January and I realised I feel so much better without alcohol. I NEVER have a hangover any more, can you imagine that?” if people get curious and ask more questions then I usually say that I realised I depended too much on alcohol in social situations and that I found as I got older I couldn’t cope with the hangovers so well any more. I think the important thing for you is to decide on what you are comfortable telling people and then just stick with that. You are not obliged to tell them all the details – this is YOUR choice, YOUR journey. 🙂

  • nixon35 posted a new activity comment 6 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thanks very much for the replies. And yes I feel like moderation wouldn’t be an option. I feel like one drink would lead to four and four would lead to eight. Thanks for the advise.

  • Hello everyone! First merry Christmas and happy holidays. I was wondering two things. First, did anyone else besides me get headaches when they first quit? I am on day 13. Second, I told a friend i quit and he was supportive. However he asked me if I could drink in moderation. I said no I’m done. But I was wondering, What exactly does drinking in moderation mean? One a week? Two a week?

    Thanks everyone!

    • @nixon35 I definitely had headaches but they past pretty early on. As far as moderation, to me it is a state of mind. If you can have a couple of drinks occasionally and not crave more, than I guess that’s ok. Moderation is not an option for me. Just the thought of having a drink sends my mind into overdrive as to how can I get a head start without anyone knowing. Trying to moderate is much harder work than just quitting.

      • Thanks very much for the replies. And yes I feel like moderation wouldn’t be an option. I feel like one drink would lead to four and four would lead to eight. Thanks for the advise.

    • Hi @nixon35, yes I had headaches for quite a while, but they passed and a couple of paracetamol every day or two was nothing compared to the other poison I was downing. Moderation to me means giving up everything I have worked so hard for over the last 3 plus years, it is not an option, I am a sort of all or nothing person! Well done on your 13 days stick with us here, the support is amazing xoxox

    • Indeed, what does drinking in moderation mean @nixon35
      Because it seems like anyone who has to consciously ‘moderate’ their drinking is putting quite a lot of hard work into keeping their drinking at a certain level. Which is something people without any compulsion around alcohol don’t seem to need to do.
      So there’s an argument to be made that if we need to moderate our intake, probably we’ve already got problematic habit and thought patterns around booze. Given drinking more than the recommended intake even daily is normalised socially and by so many people, and thought of as ‘normal’ and harmless drinking, it’s understandable its confusing.
      Personally I can no longer be bothered with all the effort and the constant attention required to moderate, and I don’t think long-term it would change anything. I’d just be in a constant tussle with myself. The times I tried to cut back were worse than when I was drinking, for how much focus went into not having another. Exhausting!
      It was easier in many ways just to stop and explore what that was like.
      Anyway, I suppose drinking under the recommended intake might be thought of as moderation. Merry Xmas and happy holidays 🙂

    • Moderation seems like a word for “normal” drinkers who might have one beer at a time, once or twice a week. I don’t think it applies once you feel you drink too much. If I drink a beer, I want more.

  • nixon35 posted an update 7 months ago

    Whew!! Made it through my first Friday sober for the first time in a long time. Even did good when the wife went out and the kids were in bed, which is usually when I’d throw back at least 3 or 4. Thanks very much for all the supportive comments this morning. This community is awesome!

  • nixon35 posted an update 7 months ago

    Gonna try my first Friday without a drink. Toughest day of the week. Gonna stay determined though!

    • @nixon35 bravo! That means a more productive Saturday as well. Good for you!

    • It had to happen, right? You’ll be okay. Stay strong. Fridays are much better without alcohol.

    • Hooray for you @nixon35!! You can do it! Put a plan in place to stay busy and avoid alcohol and go to bed early if you need to. The best part is waking up sober and feeling great on Saturday morning!!

    • you’ll be amazed when you wake up in the morning.

  • nixon35 posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks everyone. On day 4 and hoping it keeps going up and up. Probably bad time if the year to be sober but I just don’t need or want it anymore and really determined to not touch a drop.

  • nixon35 became a registered member 7 months, 1 week ago