• Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Yep. Same here. Friendships lost. Opportunities missed. Money wasted. To make sure it doesn’t happen again I too gave it up.
    Still say and do some stupid things but at least now I do them sober. Life sober is sometimes a bit boring but without a doubt it is better.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you. Just keep going. For me it was getting through the week-ends. It does become easier. Not easy, but easier.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    You will be there before you know it, and probably wonder, like me, why we wasted so much of our life drinking.

    • You are an inspiration. Day 56 for me. Eight weeks today. Feel a lot better accepting that trying to moderate is just not possible and I’m ok with af life . Despite paws stuff feel so much better than I did before. Thanks for your awesome post. The accumulating days and weeks feel like a positive affirmation. I feel that when I read others too. It just proves by so many legends on this site that it’s possible to succeed even for those who hit bumps along the way.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yep, what’s not to love about having a bit more disposable income. After 1001 days my dollars saved counter is over 17 grand. I don’t have any money in the bank but we had a nice family holiday to Aussie and woke up to the sunrise every morning. Something that would never have happened before.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Overall it is better. I don’t have so many silly arguments with my wife, we still argue but not over such petty things like who is buying the wine tonight and who is driving (never me). My kids see a happier side to me.(most of the time). There is more money to spend on family things instead of beer and wine. I would rather have a packet of biscuits habit than a box of beer habit. Keep going.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Freedom and clarity. Not constantly being in an alcohol induced fug. Seeing things as they are and not as you think they are after a couple of drinks.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    As I said earlier, just keep busy. Anything to break the old routine of drinking. For me I would clean the car, tidy the garage, mow the lawn, do some gardening. Even go to bed real early. Anything not to drink. Funny thing is I now really enjoy all these things.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @kitten

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    One thing better than 1001 is 1002.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hey Lizzie. Yep I remember we were sober buddies in the early days. You had a couple of slips or as I would say “delayed success”. Thanks for your comment. Go us!

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yes. Freedom it is but I am not sure the freedom is forever as we can never be really sure we will not revert to our old ways.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    *not* my intention. Whoopsie.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Apologies for any hurt or offence you may have felt @enzedgirl and anyone else I may have offended, I hope you realise that was my intention. If I can explain why posting high numbers of sober days may be misconstrued as showing off and questioning how beneficial it maybe to someone struggling to keep off alcohol.
    If I was really wanting to run 10kms but never managed to run a kilometre without coming to a grinding halt and somebody told me (without me asking them) they had just run a marathon in under 3 hours, I am not sure whether that would inspire me or if I would think, Fuck it I’ll never do that I may as well give up now. Hopefully this explains my “showing off” comment.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    i would also like to say a big thank you to @Mrs D and this place. Without it I am not sure I could have continued, particularly in the early days. It is just nice knowing that you are not on your own and in the same boat as others struggling. I just hope all the others that were fighting the temptations early on also managed to stay sober..

  • Sometimes I wonder whether posting on here of reaching nice big numbers is just showing off or if it is helpful at all to others just starting off on the sober voyage. It is probably a bit of both.
    We all start drinking as a habit for fun and escapism but for most of us here the fun disappears as the habit becomes an addiction but i think the escapism remains. I have a few days under my belt now but i am still realising new things about why i drank so much for so long. I am a different person to the one I thought I was, certainly more introverted than I realised and drank to become another side of my personality. A side which I thought people liked, life and soul, boisterous, loud, sometimes funny, often offensive and not really the real me.
    I still feel ashamed of some of the things I did and said. I am regretful of opportunities I missed but grateful that after almost 40 years of drinking I finally changed my ways. So if you are just starting, hang in there, keep busy, do anything not to drink. It does get easier though I am still tempted to go back to it at times but the positive of a sober life outweigh the positives? of a drunken one. Finding the real person you are is something to achieve. Good luck and keep going. Oh, Day 1001.

    • Wow, congrats on 1001!! For me, the numbers are not showing off, so many like you have achieved major numbers which inspires me & shows what is possible. And I love seeing others at the beginning of their numbers too…I am following their progress & silently cheerleading them on! Love this community, love my AF counter and love my $$ saved counter

      • Yep, what’s not to love about having a bit more disposable income. After 1001 days my dollars saved counter is over 17 grand. I don’t have any money in the bank but we had a nice family holiday to Aussie and woke up to the sunrise every morning. Something that would never have happened before.

    • A most excellent post @nic1963 . I can relate to ‘the drinking for fun and escapism’ which turns into a habit and then an addictive habit. Funnily enough even though I am also more of an introvert I’ve found that I have become less so since I’ve stopped drinking. Maybe it’s also a coming of age thing? Huge congratulations on your day count which shows how much you have changed your life for the better. Enjoy. πŸ™‚

      • Overall it is better. I don’t have so many silly arguments with my wife, we still argue but not over such petty things like who is buying the wine tonight and who is driving (never me). My kids see a happier side to me.(most of the time). There is more money to spend on family things instead of beer and wine. I would rather have a packet of biscuits habit than a box of beer habit. Keep going.

    • 1001 super, sober days!! How amazing @Nic1963 . Not showing off at all…on the contrary it inspires me to see all the achievements here! We are all striving through so much….and it can be really tough. So when I see people achieve major milestones it inspires me with the hope that I can keep going and achieve great heights too….and why not? One of the best things about sobriety is finding the authentic self…the real person and that is truly something joyous to celebrate. Thank you for the reminder…we are nothing without our personhood. Sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving. Xxx

      • Freedom and clarity. Not constantly being in an alcohol induced fug. Seeing things as they are and not as you think they are after a couple of drinks.

    • i would also like to say a big thank you to @Mrs D and this place. Without it I am not sure I could have continued, particularly in the early days. It is just nice knowing that you are not on your own and in the same boat as others struggling. I just hope all the others that were fighting the temptations early on also managed to stay sober..

    • I find it incredibly helpful and encouraging to see other people succeeding to be alcohol free. Thank you for showing it is possible and sharing your old motivation to drink. Makes it all the more achievable to me. Thank you πŸ™‚

      • As I said earlier, just keep busy. Anything to break the old routine of drinking. For me I would clean the car, tidy the garage, mow the lawn, do some gardening. Even go to bed real early. Anything not to drink. Funny thing is I now really enjoy all these things.

    • love it. 1001. what a fab number. also like to know that you are still learning about yourself at 1001. i have just discovered a couple of things now that i am not numb and to know it is ongoing is excellent. congrats to you. and yes, at 78, i do like to hear from the 1001s and 1s. be well.

    • Love THIS!!
      1001 is just awesome

    • Cingratulations @nic1963 πŸ™‚ We started this journey on the same day, but I had a couple of slips… you stayed firmly on the sober road. Go you! Im so happy for you. πŸ™‚
      Totally relate to everything you said. Xx

      • Hey Lizzie. Yep I remember we were sober buddies in the early days. You had a couple of slips or as I would say “delayed success”. Thanks for your comment. Go us!

    • Not at all showing off @Nic1963 – you guys with big numbers under your belts are inspirational to us newbies – congrats!!

      • Seconded! Looking forward to triple digits.

      • You will be there before you know it, and probably wonder, like me, why we wasted so much of our life drinking.

        • You are an inspiration. Day 56 for me. Eight weeks today. Feel a lot better accepting that trying to moderate is just not possible and I’m ok with af life . Despite paws stuff feel so much better than I did before. Thanks for your awesome post. The accumulating days and weeks feel like a positive affirmation. I feel that when I read others too. It just proves by so many legends on this site that it’s possible to succeed even for those who hit bumps along the way.

    • i’m at day 9 hundred and something @nic1963 and i feel a bit hurt by the idea that anyone would post a number on here for the purpose of showing off

      i don’t think you’re showing off, and i know that i have never posted any number here in the name of showing off

      i think what you might be saying (?) is that you feel a bit like you are showing off, but equally in your post i think you are saying you could be at day 100 or at 1000 and you just keep learning about the difficulties you’ve had with alcohol and the benefits of being alcohol free now …….

      i agree. it’s not the number that matters (although comments above show that people find it helpful and supportive and inspirational to see others success in being alcohol free) it’s the learnings and the benefits and realising the time that it takes to really get these benefits – that is to say, a long time!

      congratulations to you on your 1001 – i think it is hugely significant, and i am so happy and proud for you xxx

      • Apologies for any hurt or offence you may have felt @enzedgirl and anyone else I may have offended, I hope you realise that was my intention. If I can explain why posting high numbers of sober days may be misconstrued as showing off and questioning how beneficial it maybe to someone struggling to keep off alcohol.
        If I was really wanting to run 10kms but never managed to run a kilometre without coming to a grinding halt and somebody told me (without me asking them) they had just run a marathon in under 3 hours, I am not sure whether that would inspire me or if I would think, Fuck it I’ll never do that I may as well give up now. Hopefully this explains my “showing off” comment.

    • Massive ups to you for your 1001 days of freedom:) Myself, I find reading posts like your’s inspirational and an encouragement to keep up the good fight myself. Enjoy the warm fuzzies as you ponder how far you have come and thank you for still being here to share your wisdom and support to others. I look forward to my own 1001!

      • Yes. Freedom it is but I am not sure the freedom is forever as we can never be really sure we will not revert to our old ways.

    • It’s definitely helpful. Congrats and thanks for shining the way.

      • Thank you. Just keep going. For me it was getting through the week-ends. It does become easier. Not easy, but easier.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    I think you are fantastic and I wish you the best of everything. Like so many of us on here you were our inspiration. to start this journey. I saw you that time on telly but it took me a long time to take the leap into sobriety. I read your book and joined up on here. That was 970 days ago.
    Thank you.

  • Gotta love Sunday mornings. Up bright and early, read the paper, didn’t win lotto. Doesn’t matter, I am sober and feeling great. Now to take the dog for a walk. Certainly a lot different to the old days, nursing a hangover and feelings of regret.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome @nic79

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Good on you Lizzy. I gave up the same day as you. Still going. Still get the wobbles from time to time but overall life is certainly better.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Fantastic. 1000 reasons to be proud of yourself right there.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 1 month ago

    Well, well, well. Who would’ve thought? I hope you don’t mind me showing off a bit but I have now gone 888 days without a drink. Nobody in my family and none of my friends would ever believe that it could happen. Neither did I to be honest. I have nothing insightful to pass on to people struggling at the beginning of this journey. Only that most of the time it does get easier.
    I still struggle particularly week-ends, they are a bit boring if I am honest but at least i am not spending shitloads of money, talking bollocks and sometimes upsetting people and feeling crap the next day.
    To the newbies, hang in there, take each evening as a challenge, then a week-end, then before you know it a month or two will pass. Good Luck and Kia Kaha as the say here in the Land of the Long White sausage.

    • Triple 8 is a really cool set of digits @nic1963 well done you πŸ™‚

    • That’s amazing. Well done.

    • Yay 888 very cool number πŸ™‚

    • Three fat ladies 888 πŸ™‚

    • Omg the visual image of the long white sauasage!! Just saying πŸ˜‰

    • 8888 days….that really is one cool number right there!!!!!
      oxxoxoxo And I love how you compared the sober night to what would really happen if we did drink and go out. Never again do I want to be in that space…where I am drunk, waste money, and babble stuff I don’t mean, nor remember….and wake up suffering with shame, pain, and self-blame.

      oxox
      Nope. Sober is the way to go.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Hello Robyn. I suffered with sinus problems for years, even had 3 operations to make it better. Have you tried the sinus rinse made by Neilmed? I find this works for me but you have to do it quite a few times during a blocked up/runny/sneezey time.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I had a pet dog that was my best mate. When he died I was so sad I vowed never to get another. That was 5 years ago. At the beginning of this year i got another, a German short-haired pointer puppy. Next to giving up drinking over 2 years ago it’s the best decision I could’ve made. He’s naughty, intelligent has a lovely nature, loves cuddles, always happy to see me, is great company aptly named “‘Buddy”. Would recommend.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    The Ranch with Ashton Kucher is funny. Travels with my Father with Jack Whitehall and Derek with Ricky Gervais. All funny. Well I thought they were.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    1500 reasons to be proud of yourself. Well Done. A seriously cool achievement.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Mine told me I was paranoid. Well, he didn’t actually say it but I knew that was exactly what he was thinking!

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 3 months ago

    ’tis a Good Friday to be sober. Happy Easter everyone.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 4 months ago

    Hangover free Sunday mornings. Favourite time of the week because they used to be so different.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 4 months ago

    Hope no-one minds if I show off a little, but I just noticed my counter is on 777. Not a bad number, not as good as 888 but better than 666. Celebrating on this warm Summer’s evening with a cold soda with blackcurrant, cranberry and pomegranate cordial in it. Lovely stuff. To all the newbies, hang in there, it does get easier. It’s not easy but nothing worthwhile ever is.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago

    Funny. I never wake up and think…”I wish I got pissed last night.”

    • @nic1963 – this made me laugh! Boy there were plenty of “I wish I had not” in my past!!

    • YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      A MEN to that..@Nic1963
      For me, as well…”Dang, too bad I didn’t get on social media posting cute emojis and responding in deep like advice to a perfect acquaintance “friend of a friend” on fb! ”
      Or…”Damn, last nights phone call with my adult daughters would have gone better with me slurring and repeating myself …Emplufied with f bombs every other word”

    • Ha ha absolutely @Nic1963

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Thanks Lizzy. Yep, 750 days and almost 13 grand saved. We originally stopped on the same day I think. You had a little slip but you showed how strong you are by getting back on the sober bus. Still I don’t find it easy but determined to keep going.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago

    This is good. I can really relate to a lot of it. Coincidentally I also gave up in January two years ago, initially to see if I could do a month and managed to keep going. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5322757/CHRISTA-DSOUZA-wagon.html

    • Good to hear from you @nic1963 πŸ™‚ Two years ago! Wow, you have done so well πŸ™‚

      • Thanks Lizzy. Yep, 750 days and almost 13 grand saved. We originally stopped on the same day I think. You had a little slip but you showed how strong you are by getting back on the sober bus. Still I don’t find it easy but determined to keep going.

    • Great article @nic1963. Lots of nodding my head reading it. Urrghh, those mornings, retching in the shower. Makes me shudder to remember what alcohol put me through

    • Thanks for sharing, another great read!

    • I second the others, way to go for keeping on keeping on!!!
      I love hearing from you guys ‘up there’ with years of sobriety down. Your journey is inspiring and motivating.
      xoxoxoxox

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 5 months ago

    Hope everyone is OK. Saw this today. Just in case anybody wants to read it.

    After 21 years of heavy drinking, these are the unexpected joys of being sober

    • Thanks @Nic1963. I heard an interview on the radio with her too. Must buy the book. Dinner with shaking hands – ugh! I remember once pretending i didn’t like soup at a friends birthday dinner with her family, truth was i couldn’t hold the spoon still enough! Had to chug wine to get my stands still enough for the main course. What a ghastly memory!! X

    • Thanks for sharing, another book to add to my list!

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    OK if I join you too?

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Good on you @Lizzy. Fantastic. Keep it going.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    I was there for a week over New Year. Beautiful place. We stayed at the top 10 campsite. Should not be judgemental, I know that but I was astounded by the number of people that started drinking early and did nothing but for the rest of the day. If they only knew the alternative is so much better.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    The fact you have done 400 days and you don’t drink anymore is pretty inspiring. Well done. Aroha to you too.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    Love Sunday mornings. Best time of the week for me nowadays. Rest of the family still asleep. Beautiful day here. Was out last night into town looking at lights and wandering around. Drove home about 10 0’clock which would’ve been unheard of in the old days.
    Wishing every one of you a happy, peaceful, safe and stress-free Christmas. Stress for me was a trigger to drink heavily and now I recognise it and do my best to avoid it which is often easier said than done at this time of year.
    Have a good one

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    I will raise my glass of soda water and lime to that. Cheers.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    I’ll tell you what is awesome. Freedom. Freedom and clarity.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    I don’t get too far ahead of myself. One thing better than 700 days is 701 days.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    I would do cartwheels too but I’d probably break something.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    Yep, life is definitely more peaceful. No arguing over stupid senseless shit that you don’t actually mean when you are pissed. The temptation is still there, I’m not sure it will ever disappear especially at this time of year.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    Life is great just too damn short. It’s a shame i wasted so much of it getting pissed. At least I realised in the end.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    Not to mention 12 grand that i would’ve spent on alcohol. OK I have not got 12 grand in the bank, having a wife and two kids certainly puts paid to that idea but it has not been completely wasted on beer and wine.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 7 months ago

    Went out last night when it got dark to look at the christmas lights with the family. Something that I never used to do, drive after about 6 o’clock. Now enjoying the best part of the week, early Sunday morning , checking lotto ticket, cup of coffee, reading papers and go for a walk, all with a clear head. If you are just starting out on this journey, when you start to wobble just try to think of all the positives. Day 700 for me, forgive me for showing off.

    • Congrats on 700 days ! Sunday mornings are great.

      • Life is great just too damn short. It’s a shame i wasted so much of it getting pissed. At least I realised in the end.

    • Day 700!!!!!!
      What a sweet big number that is. And what happiness and contentment is behind all those days….hard moments too, I am sure. But lots of healing and living and being….you.

      oxoxoxoxox

      Way to go, Nic1963!

      • Yep, life is definitely more peaceful. No arguing over stupid senseless shit that you don’t actually mean when you are pissed. The temptation is still there, I’m not sure it will ever disappear especially at this time of year.

    • Also, you better show that number off!

      Strut that stuff up and down the runway, both ways and then a second round. It’s a blessing for us in the earlier days to see what we are working for. It matters to hear from people with 500, 700, 1000, 10.000 days.

      oxoxoxox

    • 700 Days ! Be Proud ! We so envy you ! What a great example you are setting for the rest of us. Definitely something to aim for. A Huge Congratulations !

    • Awesome @nic1963!!

    • Way to go @nic1963! So much to celebrate with 700 days! Yay you πŸ™‚

    • Not to mention 12 grand that i would’ve spent on alcohol. OK I have not got 12 grand in the bank, having a wife and two kids certainly puts paid to that idea but it has not been completely wasted on beer and wine.

    • That’s not showing off @Nic1963. You earned that right to be proud. Every second of those 700 days. Big congrats to you. That’s awesome you got to enjoy the Christmas lights and a lovely Sunday morning x

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    On Netflix, Derek (Ricky Gervais) is funny, so is The Ranch. I got addicted to Sons of Anarchy which was good but rubbish too.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    It’s not easy, nothing worthwhile ever is. I can only tell you what helped me. Try to identify the worst times, for me it was always 6 pm, that was when i would start regardless. So I would try to find something to do, clean the car, do some gardening, go shopping, tidy the garage, have a shave, anything as long as it wasn’t drinking. If I could make it thru to 8 pm I was OK as I would have an early night. If it is a Friday or Saturday night, think of reasons to get up early in the morning. Just try to keep busy. Treat yourself to tasty things, drinks, nibbles, biscuits, whatever. You can do it. And don’t forget to check in here. We have all struggled in the early days.

    • Thanks for your encouraging words @nic1963

      • @Donedrinkin ~ I was the same way! After a few days, I’d pick up again, even after 5 months! I had SO many D1’s. I make vision boards and many of the quotes help me during those times. The latest one is, “If you can’t have just one, best to have none.” Never quit quitting and keep coming back no matter how many D1’s you have to endure.

  • Nic1963 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    Fantastic. Well done you.

  • Nic1963 posted an update 1 year, 8 months ago

    “Oh how I wish I got really really drunk last night so I could wake up with a stinking hangover this morning.” said no-one ever.

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