• NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Welcome @amanda222!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sorry to hear how you are feeling @Prudence. It may just take a bit more time. We moved 6 years ago and it has only been in the last 18 months that I feel like I’ve developed real friends. And I met them through walking – no booze involved.
    Intuitive therapy sounds interesting! Going to go and read about it right now. Glad you have someone who is providing good support.

  • Day 32. My month soberversary passed without me posting as we were busy packing up camp. Got home and weighed myself. Have put on quite a bit of weight … think my AF alternatives may be contributing. The work routine kicks in tomorrow so may need to start focusing on sugar intake. I know others have had this issue when stopping drinking so any tips appreciated!
    I say work routine is kicking in but for Waitangi Day on Wednesday we are heading to Napier to see Phil Collins at the Mission. A long day of “drinking” so will include lots of Perrier or other non sugar options to keep me going. And cheese… must have cheese. Ok cheese might not help but will focus on sugar for now. Can’t go too crazy!! 😜

    • Sliced apple spread with almond butter gets me through sugar cravings. But I always think it’s better to focus on staying booze free… sugar freedom can come in time.

    • @newstartsteph congrats on 32 days! I am one among us that has also not lost weight but I contribute it to me eating real food now and not drinking my calories away so I’m still healthier. I did eat some ice cream this past week…but had been focused on meat and veggies. I just do not think in early recovery that restricting my calories too much is a great idea as I don’t want to try to do everything at once and fail. I can be like that – all or nothing. I think being mindful is the important thing, not eating a whole pizza in one sitting, or a whole gallon of ice cream, include some fruits – apples, bananas and veggies/salads.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @timidwarrior
    The camping has been fantastic. I love my job but kind of dreading getting back into the grind of work, school, dinners, rushed mornings… sigh

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @cath1683. The painting is great. Well done on passing one month!

  • Day 30. Last night of camping and my supply of AF drinks has lasted the distance. My camping companions were impressed by the variety of options I had! I’m just posting on my phone so not so easy to reply to other posts. I’m reading them though and cheering you on.
    Tomorrow will be one month since my last drink and the day I had 4 partial seizures. Every time the thought to have a drink enters my head, I think of those. Although they aren’t my only reason for stopping drinking, they are a good reminder that drinking is a poison that was damaging my brain. I have no evidence they were caused by drinking, but I know it in my gut.
    Have a great Friday everyone. The weekend will be even better with no hangover!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @morgan. The islands are a marine reserve so are teaming with fish. It was incredible.

  • Day 28. An epic day of snorkelling at the Poor Knights. Alcohol not featuring in my thoughts at all. A few more days of holiday and then back into the grind.

  • Day 27. That’s gone fast! The last two nights camping I have slept like a log. A hangover in a hot tent is nasty, so am glad to have avoided that. I reckon my not drinking has limited how much others are drinking on the camping trip (we are here with another family). My partner is drinking less so the other couple in turn are drinking less. I don’t feel guilty about that at all! 😂

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well done @jenb!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    That sounds perfect @soberheart

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Looking forward to following along and cheering for you!

    • Thank you. Congrats on 27 days. I hope you enjoy your camping this evening – it might be the coolest place to be

  • Day 26. Sunburnt and sober. Relaxed and happy. x

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow nice work!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Whananaki. It’s beautiful here!

  • Day 25. A shout out to @sobere . How are you doing? Haven’t seen you on here for a few days.
    Heading to northland camping today. Forecast is amazing. Keep going everyone x

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    So glad the exam went well. Good on you!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    All the best for the test @SoberHeart. And nice work on coming up with a simple childcare solution. The logistics around kids can be so stressful sometimes.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow @frog – so well written. Was right there with you. Good to play the tape right through past that pretty wine in its glass

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes @Dragonfly – keeping the kids away from my AF drinks was not something I had anticipated when I stopped drinking!
    @Frog – if you infuse normal herbal teas in cold water or soda they don’t work that well (need to do it first in boiling water and chill it) but Twinings infuse range is made for cold water. A friend put me on to them and they are great!
    Glad you have got on to them too @Sober4real. I’ll have to try the peach!

  • Day 24. Home late last night from my work retreat. Definitely my best work trip so far – and all because I was sober.Just cooking a meal to take away with us camping tomorrow. I’m sipping on a Twinings Infuse tea made in chilled soda water. This is the second flavour Ive tried (lemon, orange and ginger). They are delicious – and even better, no sugar or sweeteners. Recommend giving them a try if still on the hunt for AF drinks.
    Camping will be with friends who drink a fair bit. But I’m well prepared with a big stash of AF drinks! 😂 I think I’ve got a different drink for every night!! Just got to keep the kids away from them.

    • I know what you mean about keeping the kids away, before when it was alcohol it was easy but now they all want to drink my AF drinks too. Well done for being prepared, stay strong and then you can notch up another AF experience

    • Wow, I have never thought to infuse tea in soda water. I love that idea and will try it stat! Thanks for the tip and go you!

    • @newstartsteph way to go on the work trip! That is a great accomplishment to feel good about. I found the Twining tea and I am in love with the peach. I have the soda so I can do the infusion as well. Thank you for the recommend. Enjoy your time camping. Sounds lovely!

      • Yes @Dragonfly – keeping the kids away from my AF drinks was not something I had anticipated when I stopped drinking!
        @Frog – if you infuse normal herbal teas in cold water or soda they don’t work that well (need to do it first in boiling water and chill it) but Twinings infuse range is made for cold water. A friend put me on to them and they are great!
        Glad you have got on to them too @Sober4real. I’ll have to try the peach!

    • Everything is so much better sober , trips , camping , parties , dinners with friends ….
      You are doing great !!
      xxx

    • What a great idea! Tea in soda water. You’re brilliant.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome @cath1683. Love your profile pic and painting. Did you paint this one? Beautiful. Congratulations on nearly a month sober. Sounds like you are determined this time.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome @oh-crap. Lots of mums (moms) on here. Glad you could join us 🙂

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @emmy9394 – welcome!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome @melly. Good to have you here.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow – @mari135 – I haven’t been here long, so do get a bit of an idea of your story is amazing. Thanks for sharing that post – sounds like you have come so far.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow – that’s great to have such a statement about alcohol in the guild. It really challenges the current normalisation of alcohol. Can imagine the same reaction to it would happen here in NZ! Day 314… you are marching steadily toward your soberversary!

  • End of the second day of my work retreat in Sydney. I had THE. BEST. DAY. EVER. (ok… maybe not ever…. but it was bloody good!). As I was getting ready for the workshop today I was deciding what to wear. I tried on something that I always feel too self-conscious to wear (nothing outrageous at all… just feels a bit more attention grabbing than what I normally wear). I ummed and ahhhd… but in the end was feeling so good and happy that I decided not to over-think it and headed off to the workshop wearing the outfit. I gave my presentation which went well. And from there I think my high energy levels, my pride in myself (for not drinking), my lovely relaxing morning and the clothes I decided to wear must have had an impact. I had so many compliments today – just out of the blue – about how I looked, about my work, about what a great team member I am… it was just weird and amazing. I felt quite tearful. I’m kind of confused…. I wasn’t a heavy drinker – and yet, this one change in my life seems to be having this big ripple effect that has gone far beyond avoiding hangovers and regrets.
    I’m wary though. I’ve read @Mrs-D ‘s book and know about the pink cloud. Is this it? I love the quote from one of her blogs: “So I’ve been sailing along, feeling really strong and good – invincible! So together! So very functional! So healthy and happy! Oh clever sober me.”… hmmm… sounds familiar.
    F*#k. I don’t want to stop feeling this way.

    • So happy for you xox

    • Fantastic @newstartsteph! Enjoy the moment, you deserve it, sounds like you put a lot of thought, time and energy into the whole presentation and you reap the rewards. Remember this day, how you got there and how it made you feel, if you do happen to have a bad day (life happens🙂) you’ll know how to get back on track. Go you! Really happy for you!

    • Thanks @newstartsteph you just gave me the reminder to be more adventurous with my clothes! I’ve got a wardrobe full but tend to stick with just my favourites. I need to go for more adventurous combos ! It’s amazing how they can give you a boost when you need it . Sounds like you are really going strong, keep it up !

    • Awesome! ❤️

    • Well done! That’s great!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey @TipsyToeGal – yes, the bowel cramp thing is awful. When I was in my 20’s I would always vomit when I drank too much. But now I get the most agonising bowel cramps that come in waves and are followed by diarrhoea (sorry for sharing that!). They are so bad and can take hours to subside. Not sure why my reaction to alcohol changed that way over the years.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi @MaryH – sounds like a similar situation to me. Also on my work trip. I am so glad I am not drinking. I like the idea that others often mention here … play the tape forward. If you have a drink, what will happen? Roll that tape forward… and remind yourself why you don’t want to drink. Then play the tape forward of not drinking. It really helps me.

  • Day 22. I’ve woken up in my gorgeous hotel room in Sydney and been for an hours walk along the coast. I knew I would feel great about waking up hangover free – but it has been even better than expected. I know right now there will be a bunch of my colleagues feeling terrible, taking pain killers and trying to drag themselves out of bed to get down to breakfast. That was me last year. Actually, I was worse than that at the same time last year. I woke at 3am with a massive headache and stomach cramps. I spent the next 5 hours on the toilet with cramps, knees shaking, sweating, crying… I cringe thinking about it now. So happy to be feeling fantastic and enjoying this huge privilege of staying in such a beautiful place. I have to do a presentation today, which also happened last year. Today I have time (and a clear head) to a run through it again, and know that the only thing I have to focus on is doing a great job, rather than worrying about whether everyone can tell I am feeling desperately sick.
    I know some of you here are struggling. Keep going. Its worth it.

    • That’s awesome @NewStartSteph! Congrats on Day 22, that’s huge!

    • what a great follow up to your other post. love it. congrats on day 22, as sobere says, it is huge. keep on.

    • so proud you made it through the night! and that this morning was a great reward for you. Well done xox

    • @newstartsteph You know, I’ve never heard anyone talk about the stomach cramp part before. Sometimes, my hangovers would include these horrendous gut cramps, way more painful than well… the woman kind…lol….No way to get up and ‘try to pretend to be normal” with those. I am wondering how many others experienced those as well.

      Glad you got to wake up totally free of all of that crap! Woot!

      • Hey @TipsyToeGal – yes, the bowel cramp thing is awful. When I was in my 20’s I would always vomit when I drank too much. But now I get the most agonising bowel cramps that come in waves and are followed by diarrhoea (sorry for sharing that!). They are so bad and can take hours to subside. Not sure why my reaction to alcohol changed that way over the years.

    • Wonderful! You can feel well-deserved pride in completely enjoying your experience while others will share stories of remorse.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Morning @sobere – and congrats on day 22. I’m keeping count with you – 22 today!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    So true @grannie – a bad night’s sleep sober is still 1000 times better than a bad night’s sleep with a hangover. And the whole next day too.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Sounds like a wonderful time @Oceania. And no doubt nice to wake up feeling fresh each day.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Back on my hotel room now. Ended up chatting with a small group of colleagues – one who also wasn’t drinking and 2 others who had only had one or two. It was nice, and funny. A good way to see out the evening. I think I will use the toilet escape often for a breather! Day 1 of work retreat complete. Yay! Cup of tea, bed and book await!

    • That’s awesome! Big congratulations! That’s a tough challenge to get through x
      The toilets are a good place to escape to for a couple of minutes to refocus!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    PS. I just reapplies lipstick. I’ve never ever remembered to do that when drinking! 😂

  • Day 21. I’m in the toilets at my work function. Needed a moment out with you, my sober friends! This is my first big social event since stopping drinking. I haven’t felt like drinking but am noticing the volume go up as the quality of conversation goes down. I would kind of like to slip off to bed as it is 10pm NZ time … but it’s only 8pm here and I don’t want others to think I’m a bore now that I’ve stopped drinking. I have lots of observations … but might type more later when back at my laptop!
    Thanks for letting me ramble (you didn’t have much choice! Haha)

    • PS. I just reapplies lipstick. I’ve never ever remembered to do that when drinking! 😂

    • We re always here. I hang out in the toilet when things get tricky. Good on you. Just try and stick it out. 😀

    • omg i did that at a nieces wedding exactly what your doing, best thing to do xo

    • You can always claim jet lag. I travel a fair amount for work and often have to deal with jet lag, as do my colleagues. Everyone understands when you have to duck out early because of it.

    • Back on my hotel room now. Ended up chatting with a small group of colleagues – one who also wasn’t drinking and 2 others who had only had one or two. It was nice, and funny. A good way to see out the evening. I think I will use the toilet escape often for a breather! Day 1 of work retreat complete. Yay! Cup of tea, bed and book await!

      • That’s awesome! Big congratulations! That’s a tough challenge to get through x
        The toilets are a good place to escape to for a couple of minutes to refocus!

    • @newstartsteph, happy to hear that you found a way to get through and proving to yourself it can be done. I am also glad you found a group you are able to have fun with. Keep on keeping on!

    • remember every time you get through one of these events, it gets a tad easier the next time and then the next time. Glad you got back to the hotel room and found some company.

  • Day 20! Off to Sydney tomorrow for 3 days with work. A mix of work and play. Will be a different experience for me this trip with no booze. I’m planning to go hard on expensive mocktails, early-ish nights and morning walks! 😆

    • Good for you! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

    • Congrats on Day 20! Me too. Felt a little down this weekend, but stayed away from beer drinking. Trying to minimize TV watching, as every other commercial seems to be a Coors light Ad. Have a safe trip!

    • 20 days!!! Oh I LOVE Sydney!!!! I lived in Brisbane for a year a while back…and would move to Australia in a heartbeat, if I could. Have sooo much fun and I hope the heatwave won’t be too insane right now down there.

      oxxoxox

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Nice work on day 20. Me too! Recommend some of the reading on this site to help with the feeling you are missing out. Keep going. Day 30 just around the corner.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Welcome @SharonMooney 😊

  • Day 19. We settled on a new property today and the real estate agents gave us a bottle of champagne. It was very tempting to share it with my husband to celebrate… but just before we headed off to visit our new house, a friend of my husband’s popped around. His wife stopped drinking about a year ago and he knows I have stopped. He said “how are you feeling?”. For a moment I wondered why he was asking – and then admitted he would like to stop drinking too. I think he’s seen that both his wife and I seem perfectly happy not drinking. So after my brief moment of temptation, I felt great that maybe someone else was being influenced by my decision not to drink. No champagne for me!

  • NewStartSteph posted an update 5 months ago

    That’s a wrap on day 17. A friend of mine was heading off to a music and wine event this afternoon and when she mentioned it I had the strangest reaction … I felt ill at the thought of sitting in the hot sun drinking wine! Sounded horrible. All I could think of was the slight burn of the wine and then the dehydration from alcohol plus sun. All the sobriety reading/listening I am doing must be working!
    Feeling grateful to have started this change in my life, and to finding this community. I talk a bit about it with friends but don’t want to shove it in their face – so it’s good to have this outlet. Thanks everyone for reading and sharing. x

    • JM replied 5 months ago

      Congrats on day 17! That is some great rewiring of your brain!! Happy week-end!

    • Nice wrap! It’s great when your first thought of alcohol is feeling ill. I get a dry mouth when I think about wine.

    • Yeah doesn’t really appeal to me either at the moment either @newstartsteph. A great recipe for dehydration and melanoma.

    • Congrats! Great wisdom you have. ❤️❤️

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    I love your little updates and cheers for us. Thanks @tim !

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    That’s great! Glad you got through the evening with your parents. Just keep going. Nice work on getting out for a run/shuffle!

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Welcome @amandaom – good to have you here 🙂

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Day 16 for me too. 🙂 Just realised how much stuff I am getting done lately without any alcohol fuzz! I’m actually sleeping badly… go figure, but waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, is still a better experience than waking up at 3am with a dry mouth, sweats and thoughts of “why did I drink so much… ???” – and feeling miserable the next day. Even without a full night’s sleep I am feeling really good.
    Have a great day everyone.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Welcome @kaydee – good to have you here.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Enjoy your walk @LuluD. Thanks for sharing the quote.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Oh man @petaswan – that’s a tricky one. Have you spoken to them much about your being sober? Maybe if you talk to them but make it about your need for their help, rather than about their drinking? Tell them that you have no problem with their drinking, but at the moment you are just finding it hard to be around? Families are tricky. If they are anything like mine, any comment is taken as a bit of a direct insult – even if not intended. Can you escape for a bit while they are drinking? Go for a walk? Pop round and see a friend? Go and read a book in another room? Good luck. Thinking of you.

    • Great advice, I will make it about helping me, I have been escaping in my usual drinking times (from 4 onwards) and walking mostly, but just struggle when I return. I don’t want to offend, so will ask if they can help me. I have wonderful support with friends and daughter, and feel really positive.

  • NewStartSteph posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Welcome @PLJ7 – glad you found us.

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