I’m 45 years old, a mother of two and work full time - and I look back on my life and the only regrets I have are the things I’ve said or done while drinking, and the days I have wasted, feeling physically and emotionally ill, after a night of drinking.
I have tried moderating my drinking, and it has sometimes worked. I have told myself “see, I can do this”. But even then those few drinks have taken the edge off the next day. And it’s also not long before I have another occasion where I definitely wasn’t a moderate drinker.
Physically when I drink too much I get severe bowel cramps the next day, along with all the other typical hangover symptoms. But by far and away worse is the emotional damage. The guilt of having said things I shouldn’t have said, and the depression for the following day or two that follows a big night (even if I didn’t do or say anything wrong).
So, yesterday I quit drinking. For good. Why yesterday? Well, the night before I had had about 6 drinks (actually a fairly moderate dinking day over the summer for me) and the next day I had four unexpected “panic attacks” during the day that frightened the hell out of both me and those around me (including my young children). At least I thought they were panic attacks, but it now appears they were mild partial seizures. I will never know for sure if the alcohol is related to these attacks - but I am fairly convinced in my mind that they were. Whatever the case, they were so frightening that it has been the final event I needed to make this decision. A decision I have been skirting around the edges of for at least 2 years.
Im so grateful for this forum and community to find support as I start this journey. I am scared (of what exactly, I’m not sure). But I really want to live sober.
Sorry to hear how you are feeling @Prudence. It may just take a bit more time. We moved 6 years ago and it has only been in the last 18 months that I feel like I’ve developed real friends. And I met them through walking – no booze involved.
Intuitive therapy sounds interesting! Going to go and read about it right now. Glad you have someone who i…[Read more]
Day 32. My month soberversary passed without me posting as we were busy packing up camp. Got home and weighed myself. Have put on quite a bit of weight … think my AF alternatives may be contributing. The work routine kicks in tomorrow so may need to start focusing on sugar intake. I know others have had this issue when stopping drinking so any…[Read more]
@newstartsteph congrats on 32 days! I am one among us that has also not lost weight but I contribute it to me eating real food now and not drinking my calories away so I’m still healthier. I did eat some ice cream this past week…but had been focused on meat and veggies. I just do not think in early recovery that restricting my calories too much…[Read more]
Day 30. Last night of camping and my supply of AF drinks has lasted the distance. My camping companions were impressed by the variety of options I had! I’m just posting on my phone so not so easy to reply to other posts. I’m reading them though and cheering you on.
Tomorrow will be one month since my last drink and the day I had 4 partial sei…[Read more]
Day 27. That’s gone fast! The last two nights camping I have slept like a log. A hangover in a hot tent is nasty, so am glad to have avoided that. I reckon my not drinking has limited how much others are drinking on the camping trip (we are here with another family). My partner is drinking less so the other couple in turn are drinking less. I d…[Read more]
Yes @Dragonfly – keeping the kids away from my AF drinks was not something I had anticipated when I stopped drinking! @Frog – if you infuse normal herbal teas in cold water or soda they don’t work that well (need to do it first in boiling water and chill it) but Twinings infuse range is made for cold water. A friend put me on to them and they a…[Read more]
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