• newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 8 hours ago

    Hi @sobermommy1013!! So glad to see you here! This is amy with a new handle ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ve got this lovely, block out anybody or anything that says you can’t or makes you doubt yourself. You are so strong and wonderful and you can do this. Massive hugs xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    That is so wonderful @freedom1025! It sounds like a perfect evening xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    Wow, that is a powerful line from the therapist in that show – when I read that I needed to stop and pause for a second. It is scary breaking away from our comfortable patterns that we grew up with even if they are bad for us and full of drama. I fall into that category for sure. Glad to see you @mari135! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    Congrats on 2 weeks @laurali! You are doing so well and recognizing your triggers and pushing through them. xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    Great job walking through those emotions @wakingowl, well done xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    One of my favorite lines as well @tom4500 – I remember very clearly when that line struck a cord with me. It was after my first relapse in June 2017 and you were very supportive of me and reminded me of the morning voice, it was like a clear ‘ding’ in my brain and made perfect sense to me. Every morning I told myself I needed to quit and every night I was back at it. I knew my morning voice was the voice of truth xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    Hi @tipsytoegal! Thank you for the reminder about the happy medium. That is something I continue to work on in my life – staying in the middle. I tend to swing too far one way or the other to my detriment. I needed that reminder today. Hope your neck feels better soon! xo

  • Good Morning Everyone! Last weekend while hubby took over the care of the kiddos I took myself out on a sober date – I booked a massage, ate at my favorite fast/casual restaurant, went to two movies back to back in the movie theater and then on the way home I heard music drifting in my car window. I followed the sound to a community park and there was an outdoor concert being put on from a band that used to be fairly large in the 80’s and 90’s. I hadn’t purchased tickets ahead of time of course, so I decided to sit on a ledge underneath a park lamp that was just outside the orange plastic divider that was acting as the ‘gate’ and enjoyed the music for about 20 minutes. I was a beautiful night, slight breeze to keep the bugs away but warm enough that I didn’t get chilled. A couple walked past and asked if I wanted their VIP pass as they were leaving for the evening so I jumped on that opportunity and got on the other side of the orange plastic divider and walked closer for a better view. I laid down on my own little patch of grass and listed to the remainder of the concert. It was such a lovely sober evening and it felt good to spend a wonderful afternoon/evening reconnecting with myself. Sobriety has provided me with the opportunity to learn that there is more to life than getting a buzz. I feel like my life is just starting to open up and I see all of the possibilities that are available to me now that I am not controlled by feeding the beast. Have a lovely sober day everyone!! xoxo

    P.S. My essential oil mix that I put together for my daughter’s eczema is working really well!! She is putting it on 3 times a day and it is so much better after just a week I can hardly believe it. Hoping that if we continue this pattern for a couple more weeks it will be gone completely!

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    Yes, @mari135, hope you are well! Xo

  • I have often said that sobriety is raw and gritty and brave, and it definitely is. But sobriety is also soft, and light, and full of joy. What a gift we have given to ourselves that we get to feel every emotion that human beings should feel. When that lovely sober joy wave comes over me it is an amazing feeling. It often comes when I am in nature – out for a hike, paddle boarding, watching the sun set, looking at the stars, reading on the swing on my porch, taking a walk with my husband. Or it comes when I am cuddling one of my kiddos as we watch a TV show or read together. At 600 something days sober I get these waves of joy often. If you are just starting out, hang on. These waves of joy will start coming to you too. I love being sober xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    Well done knowing what your limit and boundary was and removing yourself from the room. Congrats on 4 weeks! Awesome! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    When I relapsed I made sure to take note of the reason for the relapse and tucked that away as something that I need to work on in order to maintain my future sobriety. This trigger will come up again and next time you will be prepared with tools to handle it. It sounds like your trigger was being overwhelmed. Put plans in place now for what to do in the future when you feel this feeling again so that you can ride that trigger wave and see yourself sober on the other side of it. Well done coming back here right away and hopping back on the sober train xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    Well done!! Baseball games are big events in my community and I still remember my first sober professional baseball game. You will carry this memory of being at the All Blacks game sober forever. Awesome job xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    I agree @tom4500 – It’s funny, it seems to be that people just need to know the reason why others don’t drink and then their make up their perception of that action based on the reason. There are a couple of people in my extended family that never drank because ‘they never liked the feeling’ and then I know of a pair of brothers (that are not in my family but that I see at events from time to time) that never drank because their dad was an alcoholic. It’s funny that if there is someone that isn’t drinking, people seem to ‘need’ to know the reason why and then decide how they feel about it based on the reasoning. Funny that alcohol is the only mind altering substance we have to give a reason for when we don’t imbibe. I can’t imagine someone saying ‘well, so-and-so doesn’t snort coke because it just doesn’t agree with her’ On a different note, the wedding sounds lovely xoxo

    • It was a nice wedding. Amanda’s Mom says that she calls my partner and I her Owosso dads. When you work in a small office for that long, the people there are the people you see most often in your life. Other than Sandy, of course. I think that gets overlooked.

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    Hangover free mornings, they are absolutely the best! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    I’m so very sorry for your loss @soberheart. I can feel your grief through your words and can tell you are feeling a lot of pain. Much love xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    Ooooh, I love this! Did you get that wonderful sober softness and happiness that comes around these days now that we are sober? I just love that feeling! Great post xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 18 hours ago

    I often think the same thing – what would my kids lives be like if I were still drinking. How would life be different? I know it wouldn’t be better, that’s for sure. It is much much better without alcohol xo

  • I listened to a podcast on boundaries last night from Rob Bell – such a great listen. I had lots of aha moments throughout. One thing that struck me is when he said that we are capable of giving more love to the world when we have good boundaries. Even though it feels hard in the moment, if we respect ourselves and love ourselves enough to protect our true selves and put up healthy boundaries that protect us from people or situations that may cause us pain, we are learning how to love even more. If we continue to let those boundaries be wobbly then we may become resentful of people in general because we see them as always walking all over us. That made a whole lot of sense to me. Happy Friday folks – no alcohol for me today! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Great work @kaydee! Well done on 3 months xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Well done @suzkep – we can read books and remember what we read in the morning now!! Another sober gift ๐Ÿ™‚ xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Sounds beautiful @morgan @prudence!! Have fun ๐Ÿ™‚ xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Glad you are here @fridaymay92014 – I agree that sharing your feelings with your husband is definitely a good idea. If he is the supportive sort you will need him for support. At outings I find that the first drink order is the hardest, then it all gets easier from there. Just that first 15 minutes, and once you get through those first minutes you are in the clear. You will have your NA beverage in your hand and everything will feel better. xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Thank you @craftygirl! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Thank you @miss_maurajane!! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Thank you @lucy! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    I agree @manatee – I am hopeful that they follow my lead when it comes to drinking too xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    yes! I put evening primrose in the oil salve that I put together for her. I could only find it in capsule form so I had to poke and squeeze the oil out of 15 gel caps. Maybe I should give her a gel cap every day too? xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Iโ€™m so sorry @wakingowl for your loss. Lots of love and blessings to you and your loved ones xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Give yourself a big hug for getting through that hurdle @erica375!! You are training your brain to make different and new choices and that is not easy work. Just because you struggled a little bit does not mean you failed. It means you succeeded!! We don’t get anywhere new without having to knock down a few walls and make a new path. Well done!! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I am so glad you decided to post @fridaymay92014, support from this site is the number one reason why I have stayed sober. You need connection and a safe place to go in order to keep on this journey. Always come back here and keep this site close xoxo For date night tonight, you can definitely say no again! Get yourself a soda (diet coke or even go crazy and get a regular coke) or a cranberry club soda with a lime is always a wonderfully refreshing beverage that looks a little fancier than a soda. This journey takes time and patience and each day new things present themselves. But, the only rule that I keep is that I just can’t drink alcohol. I can decide to change my career, change my hobbies, change my friends, change my look, change my entertainment, change my treats – or not. I can decide to go to therapy, or go to AA, or meditate, or do yoga, and then I can change my mind back and not do those things. I can decide to do all those things now, or later, or never. The only thing I can’t change my mind on is drinking alcohol. That one is nonnegotiable. One day at a time lovely. Deep breath, and one day at a time. Don’t look too far into the future, take each moment, holiday, gathering, party as they come. You got this xoxo

    • @newstart100 Ahhh your name new start 100 describes me. I have told myself I am never drinking again so many times and failed, that I choose not to use those words this time. I do no the idea of drinking right now is repulsive because of all the bad memories. I am tired of being sick and tired. I am tired of not reaching goals, especially with running. So not saying never, I am just saying I donโ€™t want it. And I have now planned out date night, go to a new to us restaurant and I may have club soda, might even try with cranberry if they offer it if not ask for lots of lime to put in my sparkling water and I will tell my husband ahead of time I am not drinking or maybe just order the water as he always follows my lead on what to drink

  • newstart100 posted an update 1 week ago

    Last night I was a little crabby – I was tired, the house was dirty (it still is actually), and I needed to finish a work project (I still do). BUT, my oldest has a patch of eczema on her arm and we have tried everything to clear it up but it is not working. Because of my newfound hobby of essential oils I found a recipe that I wanted to try out but that required a drive to whole foods for a few oils that I don’t have yet. My 12 year old wanted to come with me so off we went to the store. While we were out she mentioned that she needed some new jeans and tops for school (she has grown 3 inches this summer and is taller than me now!). If this were 2 years ago I would’ve said, let’s order online from home so that I could get back to pour myself a cocktail. Not cocktail pouring for me these days though!

    Even though I knew I had a list of things to get done at home, and my tank really was nearing empty, I decided to take her shopping. What a blast we had, it was so much fun! The stores were pretty empty and there were a ton of sales and she found some really cute stuff. She would come out of the dressing room and give me a fashion show for each outfit. We had a great time hanging out and getting her the things she needs to head into the school year. When we got home she organized her new haul and I mixed together her new oils. Now, this is why I am sober. It is such a blessing to be able to live this life clear headed and not preoccupied by when I can smudge out the edges. What a gift we are giving ourselves. xoxo

    • Great story and a great way to spend the evening.

    • love to hear all of this! reminds me of shopping trips with my mom. both of us are sober now and looking forward to more trips together even in adulthood. sobriety truly is a wonderful gift ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

    • Lucy replied 1 week ago

      Sounds like a perfect evening, I love it. x

    • Oh, so beautiful. I miss my girl so much.
      Have you tried giving her Evening primrose and flaxseed oil? And lots of foods with great oils – olive, avocado, plenty of butter etc? many keto eaters (high healthy fats) are cured of skin issues amongst many other things. Apparently our modern Western diet starves our bodies of necessary good fats, especially omega 3s. Asthma and skin issues in particular need healthy oils – our lungs are hugely fatty, an interesting surprise to me – and our brains…

      • yes! I put evening primrose in the oil salve that I put together for her. I could only find it in capsule form so I had to poke and squeeze the oil out of 15 gel caps. Maybe I should give her a gel cap every day too? xo

    • Beautiful story. Over three years sober here for me. I like that I don’t have to avoid driving because I am not drinking. I have daughters who are 12 and 16. I still struggle to do more for them because of the balance of work/school but at least I don’t feel guilty for not driving because I chose to drink. I also think they see that I am coping and living without it and hopefully they will avoid it.

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I definitely empathize with you @tom4500, I was the closest I have ever been in the last 20 months to taking a drink when I was away at the cabin weekend with my girlfriends. The thought of ‘is it really worth it’ crossed my mind – but then I have evenings like I had last night and I KNOW that it is worth it. I went school clothes shopping with my pre-teen and it was so wonderful. No room for booze in this beautiful life xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Thank you for the book recommendations @morgan! I have read half of The Body Keeps the Score. It is kind of a strange phenomenon with me, for everything else in my life I jump into it with both feet full force and don’t let off the throttle. When it comes to dealing with my trauma from my past, I avoid it like the plague. It is the only thing in my life that I don’t face head on. That is very telling to me… Thank you friend always for your kindness and thoughtfulness xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Oh wow, who wouldโ€™ve guessed that there was such thing as a cheeseburger celebration?! Even though it sounds like there was the makings of a possible in your face party scene Iโ€™m glad to hear that it was a low key bunch in the campground. Hopefully those clouds will clear for you tonight. I did some star gazing at my recent trip to the cabin and saw a few shooting stars. I hope you get to see some tonight. Keeps us humble and is a great reminder of how big the universe really is xo

    • @newstart100 looks like a clear sky for our last night tonight; nearly a full moon though. We want to clear out early tomorrow, so I can make my golf match. Part of me says tired, and part of me wants to do it all. 66 isn’t old, but its not young either.

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Congrats on day 5 @elias! Be sure to work in a sober treat for the weekend too ๐Ÿ™‚ Getting housework done feels great and keeps you busy for sure, but then when the housework is done be sure to have some snacks and chilled bubbly water in the wings waiting for you xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    What a wonderful sober story to read @wildchild, absolutely beautifully done. Thank you for sharing that with us xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Well done on not isolating – that is a huge key to growth and progress. Congrats on day 35! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    The poison store – I like that!! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Congrats on day 7 @laurali!! A full week! That is so fun that you are spending quality time with your kiddos xoxo

  • Today the air is a little cooler and a little lighter and it feels like autumn is on the way. A few weeks left of summer for the kiddos and then it is back to school for them and back to my regular schedule of sending them off in the morning, getting my work done during the day, and then bringing them to where they need to go in the evening. This summer I have felt myself grow into my sobriety even more and my footing in this alcohol free lifestyle is getting even more solid. I have faced a few challenges over the last couple months but I am feeling more comfortable with the idea that my friendships will be changing over the course of the next year. I won’t be present at gatherings where alcohol is prominently featured but will instead choose gatherings where alcohol is just in the background. I am realizing that some of my friendships were more solidly based on alcohol than on being true friends. I will not be shunning anybody, but will choose to spend my time a little differently on certain occasions.

    Some things to look forward to in the upcoming months – I will begin teaching confirmation classes for my oldest daughter, I am excited about that. I look forward to learning more about my higher power along with the teens in my group. With the kids back in school I will be able to go back to attending my women’s AA meetings that take place over the lunch hour at a nearby church. I will be taking a strong look at my career path and making decisions for the upcoming year. In the last month or so I have gotten into the hobby of essential oils and have started working different oils into my daily routine, I am excited to have more time to make some cleaning sprays and keep learning about this new fun hobby. The one thing that I keep quitting is therapy. It is my achilles heel. I really did like my therapist but then the schedule got in the way and I used that as an excuse to not continue to see her. In the fall I think I will reach out and try…[Read more]

    • I had a friend out at the club, he and I used to get into some fun discussions over several beers. He developed prostate cancer, and the treatments and the illness left him unable to drink. I remember him saying “you guys aren’t as fun as you used to be, when I was drinking”. I think probably we’ve both seen groups getting silly over not much when they’re drinking, and I kind of miss that, but then I’m really just missing the inclusion. And sometimes, it’s kind of hard. Actually makes me wonder if it’s worth it, at times. I’m sure these are common thoughts, because I don’t think I’ve ever had an original thought. But like you’re saying, with the vodka and olives, I can’t control it. And those few moments of fun would be mixed with so many bad moments, not to mention damaged relationships. Have to go, breakfast is ready.

      • I definitely empathize with you @tom4500, I was the closest I have ever been in the last 20 months to taking a drink when I was away at the cabin weekend with my girlfriends. The thought of ‘is it really worth it’ crossed my mind – but then I have evenings like I had last night and I KNOW that it is worth it. I went school clothes shopping with my pre-teen and it was so wonderful. No room for booze in this beautiful life xo

    • Maybe postponing therapy was your wise self saying slow down, not quite ready? Sometimes we need to listen to that, especially if you like the therapist and that is not getting in the way.
      It sounds as if you are doing wonderful, healing things. Have you read The Body Keeps the Score? Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of TraumaTHe guru, Bessel van der Kolk

      • Thank you for the book recommendations @morgan! I have read half of The Body Keeps the Score. It is kind of a strange phenomenon with me, for everything else in my life I jump into it with both feet full force and don’t let off the throttle. When it comes to dealing with my trauma from my past, I avoid it like the plague. It is the only thing in my life that I don’t face head on. That is very telling to me… Thank you friend always for your kindness and thoughtfulness xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Sending you lots of love and support @jesss. Even though it doesnโ€™t make all the bad stuff go away I really do believe life is better without the alcohol – Iโ€™m so glad you are here with us. Iโ€™m also very sorry about the trauma and disrespect your boyfriend is showing you. You deserve so much better and I am glad to hear you are on the road to making a new career for yourself. Well done lovely xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    I’m so sorry things are tough for you right now @treehugger xoxo I think maybe digging into the reasons you quit drinking to begin with and then focusing on all of the positives we get by not drinking might help to get you on the path again. I find that people like to talk a lot about how much fun drinking is, until the next day when they feel horrible. Often times they don’t even know how horrible they feel because they are just so used to always feeling hungover. Focus on those beautiful mornings, focus on the things you do now that you wouldn’t be able to do if you were drinking. Pick up some new hobbies (for me I have been really getting into essential oils and learning all about natural cleaning, bath salts, scent mixes I can spray around the house, etc.) that keep your interest. Keep posting here lovely, we have your back xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Congratulations @janetv! One year is a huge accomplishment and you should be very proud! I have found that around big anniversaries my cravings can sometimes pick up, I think it is because there is so much expectation and anticipation. Settle back into your sober routine and I bet those cravings will subside. Definitely treat yourself to a special item or gift for your anniversary though. Even if it is just something little, a momento to celebrate this occasion xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Congratulations @mmskinny! What a wonderful accomplishment, so happy for you! Xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Great quote, I definitely do that too xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hi @tom4500! Summer is going well but school starts in 3 weeks. Iโ€™ll definitely be ready for it. The girls have been wonderful but mom is ready to get her days back! Iโ€™m still contemplating my work future. Staying the course for now but am going to be taking some coursework in the fall to keep my high school license up to date. Donโ€™t want to let it lapse so that I can keep my options open. Off to a softball tournament this morning, looks like rain thou. Definitely will be bringing the umbrella xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Great job @laurali! Keep using those strategies for tonight, you can do this xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    What a busy day you have ahead of you today @tom4500! I agree, no room for alcohol in those lovely plans xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Ohhhhh, I love Croods, such a funny movie! I haven’t seen it in forever ๐Ÿ™‚ A cry feels so good sometimes, even if it is for animated characters xo

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