• newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Thank you for everything you do for us to have this safe and wonderful space to come to @mrs_D – this community is such a blessing xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    I learn so much from you @daveh, thank you for all that you share with us. It is invaluable xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Lovely, lovely post @robynb xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Oh no, that is awful. Im so sorry xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Hi Lucy!! I am doing well – busy as ever with the kiddos and life in general. I have had some cravings recently with the switch to the summer schedule. Wise freedom and morgan have given me some wonderful advice to allow myself some grace and to make sure to fit in self care. I am taking their words of wisdom to heart today and am going to go and buy myself a new dress for an outing that I have with my husband tonight where there is going to be a lot of drinking. But not me!! Cranberry juice fizzy for me!! So glad you are here with us xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Congrats on 98 days Lee!! Yes, we are definitely the cool kids now 🙂 xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    I’m so sorry you are still dealing with Oregon man @tipsytoegal – keep doing what you are doing and it will taper down over time. It takes a lot of strength to continue to stay strong like you are doing. Well done lovely. Your fathers day plans sound wonderful, allow yourself to feel that grief but also celebrate your dad for the joy he gave you. All the best to you xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Also – this is Amy with a new name 🙂 xo

    • Hi amy how are you. x

      • Hi Lucy!! I am doing well – busy as ever with the kiddos and life in general. I have had some cravings recently with the switch to the summer schedule. Wise freedom and morgan have given me some wonderful advice to allow myself some grace and to make sure to fit in self care. I am taking their words of wisdom to heart today and am going to go and buy myself a new dress for an outing that I have with my husband tonight where there is going to be a lot of drinking. But not me!! Cranberry juice fizzy for me!! So glad you are here with us xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    So glad to see you @Lucy!! Big hugs for you xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Wow! Powerful @freedom1025, thank you so much for posting this! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 3 hours ago

    @morgan @freedom1025 – thank you so much for your thoughtful reply’s, they are spot on!! Morgan, I don’t have a cleaner unfortunately, but I do grocery delivery so that is super helpful. We had a cleaner in the past but they stole from us and now my husband is gun shy. You are so right freedom that self care is completely missing from my to-do list. I’m going to figure out how to work that in a little bit more. Yesterday was such a hard day for me, I was really on the edge of saying f-it for tonights gathering. BUT, I am going to think of you lovely ladies and carry your strength with me. No drinks for me tonight. Maybe I’ll find a few minutes to go buy myself a new dress today, and a fancy coffee, and some new costume jewelry….hummmm, wheels are turning in my head. Thank you so much!! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    Lovely quote @deester. Time is definitely one thing we get back when we decide to live alcohol free. Wisdom comes with time, beautiful xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    I’m sorry to hear your mom’s health issues have worsened. Well done keeping a clear head and taking each thing as it comes. Xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    The lovely calm drama free sober life you describe is so nice to read. The roller coasters go away when we put the bottle down and we are left with growth opportunities. Lovely post xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    Hi @barnmomma! For me, every day is a new commitment to an alcohol free life. No looking back, just a fresh commitment every morning. For me it hasn’t been a one time spiritual awakening so much as a growing daily commitment and ‘aha’ moments time and time again each time I decide not to drink through a situation or a problem. A trust that the answer to my issue or craving or trigger will be revealed in time but to get the answer I have to maintain sobriety and faith xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 2 hours ago

    Fantastic @R51!! I think that is the key, the mindshift that we are the lucky ones to not need alcohol to enjoy life. Thank you for this, I needed to hear this today xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 4 hours ago

    You are doing wonderfully @getclear – keep going, the tiredness and achy joints will ease. Well done! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 4 hours ago

    What a wonderful list @hammer123 – so glad you are feeling better xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 4 hours ago

    I’m with you @buckeyeone!! xo

  • Life is very busy for me right now – the kids are out of school and the summer schedule is very full. Managing getting the kids to where they need to be throughout the day while making sure I am getting my work done is proving to be quite the balancing act. And we are only one week in!!

    Every week is a little bit different – sometimes one of them has a week long overnight camp (which involves the washing, packing, shopping for snacks, sunscreen, etc. and the logistics of driving them to the right location) and sprinkled throughout the summer are various sports camps and nature camps. I am trying to keep everything in perspective and keep reminding myself that these are all really good things. But, I have found myself quite tempted to have a drink this week. That moderation mind has kicked in a bit stronger than I would have liked.

    Hubby and I have an adult evening event on Friday and the little whisper of ‘one drink won’t hurt’ has made it’s way to the front of my brain. In a few weeks (over July 4th week) I am also going to be going on a week long sports competition road trip with my daughter and a few moms and the moderation mind keeps putting bad ideas in my head. I know that drinking won’t help anything, but that allure of relaxation and release is tugging at me.

    To combat this I am posting here today, going to an AA meeting today while my daughter has tennis lessons this morning, and I have a therapy session scheduled for next week. I am doing my daily AA readings and I plan to watch a few sermons online that I have missed at church due to the busy tournament schedule for the kids. I have a funeral this afternoon for a very dear man that will be awful, but it is a reminder that life is very precious and shouldn’t be wasted. I will take this message to heart. Love to you all and have a great sober day! xoxo

    • All that rushing an organising is a definite trigger. Our lives as working parents are crazy. I hope you have a cleaner? And…??? If possible spend all you are able on help. I think that would have really helped me, but mainly solo and even before that, husband was so compromised mentally that he struggled to do anything at home. I really son’t know how I did it, (love for the children was the wonder energy giver 🙂 ) but wish so much I had not relied on wine so often – as Anne Dowsett-Johnston names it, the modern woman’s steroid.
      Happy summer. Breathe!

    • When my kids were younger, summer was always far more stressful than the regular school year. Different schedules, tons of activities, running here and there while still trying to work full time. It was exhausting. Remember to fit in lots of self care … it’s so important for our sobriety. Soberful podcast has a great episode on relapse … lots of good reminders on how to ensure one doesn’t happen. ❤️

      • @morgan @freedom1025 – thank you so much for your thoughtful reply’s, they are spot on!! Morgan, I don’t have a cleaner unfortunately, but I do grocery delivery so that is super helpful. We had a cleaner in the past but they stole from us and now my husband is gun shy. You are so right freedom that self care is completely missing from my to-do list. I’m going to figure out how to work that in a little bit more. Yesterday was such a hard day for me, I was really on the edge of saying f-it for tonights gathering. BUT, I am going to think of you lovely ladies and carry your strength with me. No drinks for me tonight. Maybe I’ll find a few minutes to go buy myself a new dress today, and a fancy coffee, and some new costume jewelry….hummmm, wheels are turning in my head. Thank you so much!! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Loving hearing your updates about your travels @prudence!!! Keep ‘em coming! you are inspiring me to go on a sober soul growing trip of my own. What a Rockstar you are xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Hi @grettaM! For me, remembering my bottom is very important. I have a fairly high bottom, but if I had let my drinking continue I risked my marriage and my idea of how I wanted to mother my kids. Keeping these things at the forefront of my mind helps me weather the rough patches. The longer I stay sober I also recognize the additional benefits to my life that I didn’t even consider when I first got sober. Living a sober life is the best decision I have ever made xo

  • The other day I read this quote – ‘Personal growth’ is misleading because it sounds like it is going to be fun. But if we called it ‘Deliberately making yourself so uncomfortable it’ll feel like you’re dying’ nobody would do it and we’d be totally screwed.

    It made me laugh in it’s dramatic flare. I connected to it (because I am an alcoholic and everything in my life turns very dramatic in my head when I am in the moment) but when I look back I realize that I didn’t actually die in these personal growth instances and once I got through that ‘feeling’ I was so, so, so much happier on the other side. This continues to happen in my life. When I get through a craving, pang, difficult situation without taking a drink, I always feel the personal growth I get out of it. Without fail. When I get through a hard evening, event, conversation, etc by facing it head on and not avoiding it through alcohol I ALWAYS feel better the next day. xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You are doing the right thing reaching out and coming here @getclear. Staying close to your sober tribe is the best way to live this sober life. Glad you are here! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you @mari135!! I hope this next leg of your trip goes well being back where you first started teaching, reach out if you need us xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Hi @mari135! I’m so glad I woke up sober too, sober mornings are what we live for xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you @krisb! I agree, all that little stuff adds up to make a big difference in our lives! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you @freedom1025!! I totally agree, no more having to figure that out anymore. I hope your work trip was good! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you @ro! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you @morgan! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Hi @k1w1! Some of my favorites are: Mrs. D, Gabby Bernstein, sober revolution, peaceful_barb (not necessarily sobriety focused, but really good stuff), #alcoholfree, the temper, #sobriety, sobersaturdayz, positivelypresent, asobergirlsguide, glennen doyle, thisnakedmind, laura mckowen, sobermomtribe xo

  • Oh my, how my weekends, and my entire life really, look different now that I don’t drink anymore. Back then, every Friday and Saturday were big drinking nights. I would plop my kids in front of the TV (or let them veg out with the iPad) and get my drink on. If I needed to drive the kids somewhere I would be pissed. I would then obsess about how I would ‘make up’ my drinking night on a different night of the week. Then my calendar became all about how I was going fit in my drinking around taking my kids places. It was exhausting both mentally and physically.

    I’m now heading into my third sober summer and wow, does my life look different. I no longer have to be tied to my house so that I can get wasted. Today, instead of drinking, I played several games of ‘Uno Attack’ and war with my daughter, built a house of cards with her, read with her, and then we watched World of Dance together. I will get a good nights sleep tonight and wake up early enough to get in a morning run on a Saturday morning and relax with a steaming cup of coffee and a book before heading out to go camping with my daughter and her Girl Scout troop. Last weekend I took my girls to a movie on Friday night and to the pool on Saturday – no need to worry about driving or being home in time to pour that first drink (Or second, third, fourth or fifth). Just enjoyed the relaxing time with my kiddos and munched on snacks and sipped fancy juices (Izzy’s or San Pellegrino’s are my favorites right now).

    It is also high summer sports season for the kids so on those busy week day and/or weekend nights I don’t have any worries or resentments about needing to be at practices or tournaments. I’m calm and stable so they can talk to me about their disappointments when they don’t play as well as they wanted to. I can also celebrate with them when they play well. In short, I can be the mom that I want to be because I no longer have alcohol in my life.

    When those pangs hit me, and believe…[Read more]

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Congrats @tom4500 on 2 1/2 years!! Sounds like you are having a great start to summer 🙂 xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hi @freedom1025! When I know I’m going to be with a big drinking crowd I like to reread ‘Kick the Drink’. It just puts me in the right mindset and reconfirms my decision in a positive way. Xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Thank you @tarina! Xo

  • Hi All, bit of a stressful family day for me today. I’m going to be in the middle of a bunch of people that bring me a lot of anxiety and there will be alcohol around. I will not be drinking the alcohol, the lid has been put on that one. But, I will have responsibilities in regards to keeping the party moving forward (I’m helping with food and whatever other running needs to take place) and I need to make sure I am handling my anxiety appropriately. What has been happening lately is I will make it through a stressful social situation and then I come home to relax and go into an anxiety attack. It’s like my body takes all the anxiety from the day that I couldn’t release and then builds up and lets it all out at once when I am at home in a safe space. Heart beating fast, cold sweats, throat constricts, can’t get a deep breath, the whole thing.

    My goal for the day is to stay in the present moment and when I feel the anxiety building up in my head to release it in the moment rather than burying it. I can release it by excusing myself to go do a brief stretch in an empty bedroom. I can pull up LS and check in on all of you lovely people. I can type out some journaling in my ‘notes’ app on my phone. I can go to the bathroom and just breathe for a few moments. I can remind myself that I am not in control and that is ok, that is the way life is designed. Wish me luck! xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    So true @buckeyeone – it is uncomfortable to grow but it feels so good to see the accomplishment on the other side of it. Thanks for posting that today xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    What a great update @tipsytoegal!! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Enjoy the warm weather today xoxo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Ugggg @islandone, my friend say that Tyrian Lanaster quote all the time. (Insert eye roll here). Glad you won though, that part is fun! Xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    You are doing the right thing @gage by playing it forward. So glad you reached out and posted here. Connection and community is the best way to retrain our brains. Hang in there, the pink cloud will come back. It always does. Xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    600!!! Congratulations @jesss!!! What an awesome accomplishment, so very happy for you xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    For me having connections to other people who are quitting drinking was a game changer. Staying close to Living Sober and posting and connecting is powerful xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Welcome @sheeds@2017 – this is the best little corner of the internet. So glad you found us 🙂

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Have a great adventure @wakingowl!! We will be looking forward to your updates 🙂 xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    You are giving yourself the best gift @happymoods. I have found that sobriety from alcohol has given me so much clarity and peace in my life. Glad you are here and you are absolutely right. Taking the joy from what life has to offer is the ticket. xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Congratulations on the job @mari135! That has to be a relief to have that job offer secured away. Well done holding strong on your travels! Self care, definitely need that these days. Enjoy your meal with your friend 🙂 xo

    • Thanks so much! xoxox Yeah, I think it will be good to have that routine and less time to ruminate. Doesn’t do my mental health any good. oxoxox

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Beautiful quote and so true! Have a great day @buckeyeone! xo

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Welcome @teenybronco, glad you are here!

  • The new post on the main screen is really great @mrs-d about switching our thinking! I really needed to read that today, thank you. For anyone who is feeling a bit stuck about the socializing aspect of sobriety, this is a great post to read.

    Also, Mrs. D’s books are wonderful and have really helped me. If you are looking for great resources ‘Mrs. D is Going Without’ and ‘Mrs. D is Going Within’ are staples on my bookshelf! Have a great sober day everyone!! xoxo

    • I will try to read them now, I hesitated because English is not my first language. But I read other books yet, that were really helpful, too: Catherine Gray, Amy Liptrot, Claire Pooley (the German translations) and some German authors. I love to read about those experiences, all those wise thoughts by strong and conscious people are so very enlightening!

  • newstart100 posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hi @jjr! Welcome back!! For me, although it is not easy to blaze the sober living trail, realizing that I am an alcoholic has been a relief. I don’t have to fight with myself in my mind anymore. I am seeing the promises of living an alcohol free life come true every day. Glad you are here xo

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