• nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Thanks everyone! I was battling with that wine witch hard time last night. I almost caved to the point I drove toward the supermarket to buy a wine, but I kept driving past. Enjoyed my curry dinner, played online and went to bed and watched Netflix. I feel normal again today! Happy Saturday all πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Thank you @itsnowornever I actually think it’s because I have no friends (sober). My son is going to his mates for the weekend and my husband is going out the beach with his mate (boozy weekend). And I just have me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my own company and have plans for myself. I think I feel jealous that I can’t be around alcohol..

  • nessibnzl posted an update 4 weeks ago

    68 days sober today.. I am really struggling today… The thoughts of drinking are overwhelming me! I am trying to push through the urge to pick up, to the point I am eating so much to curb the desire as well as keeping busy, but I can’t shake these thoughts!

    • Thank you @itsnowornever I actually think it’s because I have no friends (sober). My son is going to his mates for the weekend and my husband is going out the beach with his mate (boozy weekend). And I just have me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my own company and have plans for myself. I think I feel jealous that I can’t be around alcohol..

    • 68 days is so amazing @nessibnzl! I know, sometimes this sober thing can be lonely. I generally go out for coffee or lunch w people, and spend a lot of time at home with my pup, while husband goes out. Power through these feelings, it is tough, but so, so worth it. And it gets much easier with time, and much better overall. : )

    • Hang in there. HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) are big triggers. Don’t let them get the better of you. Play it forward, listen to a podcast (I love Soberful), read some sober blogs (Unpickled, Mrs Ds, Mummy Was a Secret Drinker). This is the wine witch knowing you have the upper hand and trying to get the better of you. Don’t let her win. 😊

    • Get in the bathtub, take a walk, wash a dog, run the vacuum, pick something and do it even if you are just dragging yourself to do it. get out of your head, if possible. So good at giving advice, get out of your head, if I could just do it myself i know it would ease my type a ness. be well, @nessibnzl.

    • I hope u got through your cravings @nessibnzl. I know how hard they can be! It always feels so good to come out on the other side of them though!💪

    • I eat my way through cravings.. it’s the only way for me.. and I picture myself getting into bed sober and having a good nights sleep.. But I’m moody today to so hurry up bed time. xx congrat on day 68 by the way. x

      • Thanks everyone! I was battling with that wine witch hard time last night. I almost caved to the point I drove toward the supermarket to buy a wine, but I kept driving past. Enjoyed my curry dinner, played online and went to bed and watched Netflix. I feel normal again today! Happy Saturday all πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 61 A/F.. Tonight will be the first time I will be going out for dinner and drinks with family and friends.. This group are all heavy drinkers, and I am usually getting pissed with them.. NOT TONIGHT… I am excited to show everyone how far I have come so far.. I have my plan to go and mingle with a non alcoholic drink in hand.. Enjoy a lovely dinner and then leave when I feel it may be getting too much for me.. I am also taking my son as an out as well..
    I was going to say wish me luck guys.. but I know I’ve got this! Happy rainy Friday all πŸ™‚

    • Good planning ahead, and yes, you’ve totally got this. Have a great night!

    • Fantastic planning! You are doing so well. Enjoy your night!

    • Lovely! I was excited my first few outings too. In my head I thought peopke thought of me as the one who could be counted on to drink more than anyone else. It turned out not to be the case, but it served as motivation for me to show them I could socialize and not drink.

    • Go YOU!

    • Lee@ replied 1 month ago

      Congrats on 2 months!! Be careful not to let your guard down to much. Especially in the beginning months. Each success adds up but we don’t entirely “got this”. Great to have a plan though and your doing fantastic!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    To be honest I thought I was only 50 days sober today, so counting back to discover I am 2 days ahead of where I thought I was and knowing I will not be dying anytime soon from alcohol is the best feeling ever! Treating myself with a cuppa and a huge slice of carrot cake πŸ™‚

  • I am so so happy today!! Not only am I 52 days alcohol free, but liver function tests show my liver is only slightly higher than normal range, which is awesome!!! Originally my GGT (I don’t know what that means) was up to 376 (normal range between 10-35 U/L).. I should be dead or brain damaged at least! My current GGT is 52!! I am going to live!! Thank you to everyone who has supported me! family, friends, AA and living sober… Keep working hard everyone! πŸ™‚

    • Oh that is wonderful! Congrats on 52 days! It probably seems like forever, but in only 52 days you turned around years of damage. How great does that feel?

      • To be honest I thought I was only 50 days sober today, so counting back to discover I am 2 days ahead of where I thought I was and knowing I will not be dying anytime soon from alcohol is the best feeling ever! Treating myself with a cuppa and a huge slice of carrot cake πŸ™‚

    • Awesome excellent news!!! Carrot cake for everyone!

    • Great news @nessibnzl! Having virtual carrot cake with you. : )

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Don’t be too hard on yourself NK.. One day at a time is all you can ask of yourself.. We all have good days and bad days.. We are here you πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Sounds like a great plan for this miserable weather.. I will follow suit..keep warm and alcohol free πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted an update 2 months ago

    Hello!! I made it! 31 days alcohol free! I got shitty last night when hubby had a few drinks with his mate, feeling jealous that he could drink and I couldn’t. Then a little voice in my head reminded me that it’s not that I can’t drink, I don’t want to drink! Today is a great day! πŸ™‚

    • JM replied 2 months ago

      Fantastic! I love that shift in thinking – ‘I can’t drink’ to ‘I don’t drink.’ I feel empowered saying that, even if some people look at me w pity. Ha, don’t need it! Congrats on 31 days! : )

    • YUSS! nessibnzl πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ that is a huge win right there πŸ˜€

    • Congrats❤️

    • Loving that little voice in your head! A wise voice to keep you steady.

  • Day 28 alcohol free.. I was feeling quite anxious about today.. This is my first mothers day in 10 years that I haven’t woken up to a champagne breakfast in bed and bottles of wine for gifts. Instead I had a cup of tea and toast. Feeling fab today and looking forward to an alcohol free day! Happy Mumma’s Day to all you wonderful mums! xxx

    • Congrats on day 28 + Happy Mother’s Day! : )

      • Happy Mother’s day! My first sober Mother’s Day in 9 years… apparently my kids said to Husband – what can we buy Mum now that she’s not drinking?! I received a lovely candle and a big bottle of Kombucha. Perfect! Enjoy your day.

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi Pippa21 Welcome back! Christmas, Easter or any public holiday can be a difficult time for us.. AA is great if you are willing to commit and follow the 12 steps.. ( I am slowly getting my head around it)..
    As for being tired all the time, for me I think I am always exhausted trying to battle with my thoughts around being sober or having a drink.. Try and take it easy and rest when you can or go for a walk to get the heart going.. I hope this is a little bit of help for you.. πŸ™‚

    • Interesting that I also feel an utter tiredness that I never did when drinking. I am going to take vitamin B supplements and as others say magnesium (at night). Hope it passes for you.

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    You can do it! looking forward to your updates πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    well done! πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    One week is awesome! Take one day at a time and you will make it! We all have those stressful day’s and want to drink. (I’d make a cuppa and have a chokkie bikkie or 3) You can do it. We are here for you x

  • Day 23 A/F… So far I am managing to keep the wine witch at bay! I don’t think about yesterday and I’m not thinking forward to tomorrow. Today is the day I concentrate on. One day at a time and one foot in front of the other! I have been going to AA and have met others in our situation and it’s good to know I can talk to them anytime, but I won’t stop my posts on here.
    I like and need to get my thoughts in writing and the knowing when I have a bad day, I can read back my posts and think about how far I have come so far, plus knowing we all have each others back with positive thoughts and love. Happy Wednesday everyone! xxx

  • Day 19 A/F! The sun is shining today and I’m feeling great! Had a nice sleep in, house is clean and I have been out already to get my supplies for the weekend.. (chocolate bikkies, chippies and L&P). My house work is all done and looking forward to spending the afternoon in the garden (which I normally sit on the deck with a wine and just look at the weeds that keep growing). The wine witch is keeping at bay today! Happy Saturday πŸ™‚

  • The morning of day 16 alcohol free.. Yesterday was pretty good day. I had a meeting with a guy from AA who was really good to talk too about boozing.. Every thing I’ve been reading and all of your guys comments have made me realize the harsh reality of what is to come.. This is it. This morning I woke up from a cold sweat and feeling flat and a little anxious.

    I keep thinking back to what I would be doing this time a few weeks back, going to the supermarket to mainly buy wine for later but also getting groceries so I don’t look like the alcoholic that I am. I know I need to stop thinking about the past and moving forward.

    I been feeling so good with my progress! But this morning, that little voice in my head is trying to make its way to the surface and I am feeling anxious, shitty and emotional all at once. I am trying to fight these thoughts and I will, but fuck it really messes with the mind..

    I need to crack on and get myself busy. The more I sit around with these thoughts, the worse I am going to feel. I am grateful there is no alcohol in the house and I am not going to the supermarket.. I plan to do my housework, start my jigsaw and do some reading instead of planting my arse in front of the telly..

    Trying to think positive thoughts xx

    • Hey, @nessobnzl, the wine witch is doing her job in your head, this awful creature. You’ll fight her, she will get weak and someday she’ll be dumb. But at the moment you have to mess with her, that is frustrating, isn’t it? I’d like to tell you from day 102, that a sober life is worth every fight! It feels so wonderful to be absolutely yourself without inner struggle, without feeling torn, without thinking about “what am I gonna buy with the wine so that they don’t have a suspicion”. So enjoy something nice, eat, drink an AF drink, read, sleep, meet a friend – whatever delights your body and soul! Have a nice day πŸ™‚

    • What’s the harsh reality @nessibnzl? I just want to put it to you that maybe the reality won’t be harsh….just different. There are a lot of gains. πŸ™‚

    • Oh yes the daily trips to the supermarket for wine and groceries I didn’t need to hide it, that was definitely me! Ignore that nasty voice, you’re doing great xx

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    yes it was great to just walk on past the wine aisle without grabbing a wine off the shelf.. πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks Ro xx

  • Hi All.. 13 days alcohol free! For me a normal Sunday would be waking up around 10.30 am hungover as hell and not being bothered doing anything but lay on the couch all day waiting til I can stomach a wine.. Unfortunately I don’t always finish my glass the night before so I would finish my glass off when I get outta bed..(Not proud to admit this). But today I woke up around 7 am and made a cuppa.. Had my cornflakes and half a tin of peaches for breakfast (habit I’ve kept on since I left detox) and our family was out the door at 9.30 am to get our weekly grocery shop and a trip to the Warehouse for school shoes for the boy. The house is clean and tidy.. I even sorted out the pantry!

    It didn’t phase me walking past the wine aisle. Although I think about wine in my head, the actual thought of having a drink is not bothering me at all.. I keep waiting for that little demon coming through telling me to “just buy a bottle and have 1 glass” but it’s a great feeling to know so far I got this down! and feeling great! Enjoy your Sunday evening everyone xxx

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    I will update regularly that’s for sure πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    definitely new beginning.. It’s been a long time coming but here I go!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Oh don’t worry.. I will be posting alot! <3

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    thank you.. xx

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    yes I plan to post every day if not more as I feel the need to keep myself real.. πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thank you. I am quite relaxed thus far.. Excited to see my son who has been away for the holidays whilst I was in treatment.. So far 1/4 packet chockie bikkies and 2 cups of tea consumed. Feeling really good at the moment πŸ™‚

  • Hi all. 11 days in detox house (12 days alcohol free). Now it’s time to leave the safety & support here and return to the real world.

    This is both exciting and scarey at the same time! I am leaving with a wealth of knowledge and information. Now it’s up to me to take the bull by the horns and stay strong.

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Yes my husband. I work during the day and have a son at home. And I have sober friends that iy can see when I need them. I plan to start swimming again and maybe look at yoga that I’ve never tried

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thank you for your support X

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thank you x

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Yes Dave that’s what is scary because I know my brain will go into overdrive especially at night!

    • Hi @nessibnzl You can start to get your bag of tricks together in your mind (or on paper) while you have time on your hands there. What can you prepare in advance to help with…
      1. Cravings
      2. Low emotions
      3. Distorted memory that says drinking is good and
      4. Outright lies your brain is going to tell you.
      If you can learn, plan and prepare then you can really pull down the scale of the challenges ahead, but above all… stay connected. The fight is with ourselves, so we are only at best the equal of the foe and we need external support if we are to win through.
      You can do this. You are doing well so far, and you can keep doing well. The challenge is always and only to not drink for the rest of the day. You know you can do that, so stand firmly on that brick.

  • Good morning all. Surgery went well, still very tender. I am in detox house since Tuesday. I was on a high dose of diazipan for a couple of days to stop my tremors and now down to my normal meds.
    The first few days were good but day 3&4 were rough whey withdrawal started kicking in in.

    I am here for another week before I go home and face the real world. I am a bit scared.. will keep you posted and thank you for your support XX

    • Very best wishes to you on your return home @nessibnzl

    • Hi @nessibnzl It sounds like you are past the peak of withdrawal now so things will get a bit easier on you until you get home. Can I suggest you start thinking about what happens then? When you get home you will suddenly be bombarded with cravings and your mind is going to go off telling you how one drink won’t hurt, you are probably not that bad, maybe you can control it now, etc, etc, ad-nauseum, etc, etc. It is going to be loud and it’s going to be insistent. How are you going to fend this off once you’re on your own? PLEASE call out when things get tough. We don’t seem able to beat this on our own..that was my experience.

      • Yes Dave that’s what is scary because I know my brain will go into overdrive especially at night!

        • Hi @nessibnzl You can start to get your bag of tricks together in your mind (or on paper) while you have time on your hands there. What can you prepare in advance to help with…
          1. Cravings
          2. Low emotions
          3. Distorted memory that says drinking is good and
          4. Outright lies your brain is going to tell you.
          If you can learn, plan and prepare then you can really pull down the scale of the challenges ahead, but above all… stay connected. The fight is with ourselves, so we are only at best the equal of the foe and we need external support if we are to win through.
          You can do this. You are doing well so far, and you can keep doing well. The challenge is always and only to not drink for the rest of the day. You know you can do that, so stand firmly on that brick.

    • Wishing you strength and great success x

    • @nessibnzl You have really been through a lot and are not lacking courage! Glad to hear you had a successful surgery and are on the mend. And, everything that @DaveH said. You are in a good position to begin making a plan for when you get home.

    • Do you have someone to stay with you for a bit when you go home @nessibnzl ?

      • Yes as @daveh suggested , it is very important to plan ahead . Self care i found most important and stacking up in chocolate and candy . You are doing great , protect your sobriety like a momma bear xx

      • Yes my husband. I work during the day and have a son at home. And I have sober friends that iy can see when I need them. I plan to start swimming again and maybe look at yoga that I’ve never tried

    • @nessiebnzl I’m thinking about you!!!!

    • All the best. Keep up the good work. ❤️

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    I am about to become sober. We got this XX

  • Hi all. My detox starts after my surgery on Monday. I am looking forward to saving my life!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    thank you.. Yes I will be checking in every opportunity I can get πŸ™‚

  • Hello every one.. I am doing my best to cut back.. I am keeping myself busy during the day (working) and not drinking until after I finish work in the evenings (I do the supper run at a retirement village). I have surgery booked on the 15th and then straight into detox.. I can’t wait!!!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thank you Mari135 xx

  • nessibnzl changed their profile picture 4 months, 4 weeks ago

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi Morgan.. I am anemic and waiting on final blood results and a surgery appointment.. My detox nurse is pushing for me to get in asap..

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    thanks Janus2.. I had a lump removed from my boob last year and ended up with a hematoma so had to have a second surgery.. plus I had to get my teeth removed,, Been a lot going on!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    I am exhausted too and stressed and my anxiety is off the planet.. I saw my counselor today and she thought I was withdrawing! It was my anxiety kicking in with everyone looking at me.. I can tell the difference between withdrawl and anxiety.. hoping they will change my meds soon.. take care hun xxx

  • hi all… I met with my pathway counselor and detox nurse today.. I was honest and truthful with them as to my drinking.. I have come to realise I need help asap. Unfortunately I have was diagnosed with menorrhagia yesterday.. (heavy menstrual bleeding) and will likely need a hysterectomy before I can detox safely.. I don’t do things by halves, thats for sure πŸ™

    • Fark me no you dont! My saying! Ho hum, get it done, move on. Take care keep us posted xo

      • thanks Janus2.. I had a lump removed from my boob last year and ended up with a hematoma so had to have a second surgery.. plus I had to get my teeth removed,, Been a lot going on!

    • Well, that is sounding like a process for sure. You are going to be one transformed human when all this is sorted!!! Imagine – you must have been very tired? Anaemic?

      • Hi Morgan.. I am anemic and waiting on final blood results and a surgery appointment.. My detox nurse is pushing for me to get in asap..

    • xxooooxoxo
      It will be ok. Be proud of yourself for opening up to your healthcare team. Trust them and allow them to guide you through this. I depended on doctors for about a year now due to a health thing or two and it took some time to really let go and let them do what they know best. oxoxoxoxox
      You will be ok. One next best step at a time.

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Hi.. I live in New Zealand.. I think I am just more concerned that I will be judged and will be looked at differently.

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Yes.. If I don’t stop drinking I will be dead or in care. I am so ready to do this! thank you for your support!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Thank you.. well done to you! It’s going to be an easy ride, but I am ready and willing now πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted an update 5 months ago

    I now have to take 2 weeks off work at short notice.. But don’t know how to tell my employer where I am going at short notice.. I want to be honest and tell them the truth, but I don’t want to be judged and possibly face losing my job… I work 3 hours each night and feel this helps me to not drink until after I finish at 9pm.. I feel if I lose this job I will go stir crazy at home thinking about alcohol.. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated how to deal with my situation..

    • I am not sure where you are living but here in Canada you cannot be fired from a position if you are actively seeking help for an addiction.

      • Hi.. I live in New Zealand.. I think I am just more concerned that I will be judged and will be looked at differently.

  • nessibnzl posted an update 5 months ago

    Hi all.. I have been to see my Pathways counselor today.. I was looking at Detox in April when my son was on school holidays, and was going to take him up north to my mum’s for 2 weeks. But have decided to do this as soon as possible because I want myself and my son to be close so neither of us worry about each other.. Plus he can come and visit.. My husband is very supportive and is willing to change his work hours to suit school.. I can’t wait to get this process started.. Scary to think this journey is to begin sooner rather than later..

    • I decided on the beginning of my journey while I was still drinking and quite intoxicated. My body and brain had just had enough I guess. I called my employer and told him I was going to treatment. I haven’t looked back. You can do this!

      • Yes.. If I don’t stop drinking I will be dead or in care. I am so ready to do this! thank you for your support!

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Hey truthangel. thank you for your welcome.. xx

  • Sorry I haven’t logged in for awhile… So far I have managed to cut back a little bit and am drinking cider instead of wine… My liver is fatty and will be for ever.. I am still scared that I will have another mental episode. Looking forward to going through medical detox

    • Hi ness,
      I’m pleased to meet you. I’m a newbie around here. 7 days dry.
      I hope your med rehab goes well. Sending strength your way.

      • Thank you.. well done to you! It’s going to be an easy ride, but I am ready and willing now πŸ™‚

  • nessibnzl posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    janus2 I have never taken antubuse just nortripoline, follic acid, vitamin and meltonin to sleep

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