• mysticmama posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Feeling really grateful for this forum. I just went to the “Sober Toolbox” looking for ideas/tips to help me on this emotional day and ended up sharing something that works for me, which actually got me to practice my own technique. Haha, after actually practicing what I was preaching, I feel loads better and proved to myself that it actually…[Read more]

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Wow, @Trace, I just read your reply and it makes soooooo much sense. I completely relate to what you laid out here. Thank you for writing this. Knowing that you’ve managed to work through all of that is inspiring and helpful beyond words.

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Yes @Trace, lovely to hear and full of hope! My kids are older now, which is probably why I’m finally ready to look at this stuff. Before that it was just survival and then denial and then avoidance. I like that term “grage”!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Well, I can say that I feel much relief at this point in the day and I really let some old feelings fly up and out. Right now, I guess it’s self-care time…for all of us!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thank you Agirl!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    I love that phrase “SuperSober”! Will use it myself when having a gool ol’ sober time!

  • mysticmama posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Wow, today is kicking me repeatedly in the sober muscle. I’ve opted to go through an online course on “Speaking Your Truth in Relationships” in order to sort through some old baggage in my marriage. I had no idea how much pain was stuffed way down deep inside me. I know it is 15 years later, but the pain of realizing that the person I chose to…[Read more]

    • And you are kicking back!!! Truth and reality take any imagined gloss off the first drink in a millisecond. I’m sad to hear your pain in your relationship – I’m in the same place. I have been for years. That’s exactly my problem- you can change yourself, but you can’t change someone else. Sigh. I go in and out of being ok with the fact that my…[Read more]

    • I really liked your post. I feel similarly about my relationship sometimes. There’s not a lot of love in it these days. It hurts but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m also in that position of maybe I’m the only one willing to go the work needed.

      • Well, I can say that I feel much relief at this point in the day and I really let some old feelings fly up and out. Right now, I guess it’s self-care time…for all of us!

    • hey @mysticmama if you’d asked me two years ago I would have said there was no way my OH and I would be together now – decades of brushing stuff under the carpet, of disconnection, of feeling alone and then resentful and then – on my part – to criticism and bitterness. Some nights I would find myself lying in bed so resentful he could sleep while…[Read more]

      • That is so lovely to hear Trace – and also that the moment at work kinda passed, though obviously yesterday wasn’t an on-top-of-the-world one (and hell, of course we want some to pass – midfully want it of course! 🙂 🙂 🙂 )
        Does a lot in a marriage depend on the age of the children? How old are yours @mysticmama? This may be the…[Read more]

      • Yes @Trace, lovely to hear and full of hope! My kids are older now, which is probably why I’m finally ready to look at this stuff. Before that it was just survival and then denial and then avoidance. I like that term “grage”!

      • That’s really inspiring @trace. (See my post above). What did you do to change this??? Grage is IT exactly! Often fuelled by alcohol…

        • hi @Agirl – it was over a lengthy period of time, so I’ll just try to pick out the key things that stick in my mind! And these are in no particular order either. Although first, I had to decide what were the deal breakers for me and what weren’t…by this time I was upset / angry at everything and I had to sift to discover what the real issues…[Read more]

    • That makes so much sense. Thank you. I think you are amazing. You have worked so incredibly hard to make this work. And work well. I don’t really know what to say. Thank you.

      • Wow, @Trace, I just read your reply and it makes soooooo much sense. I completely relate to what you laid out here. Thank you for writing this. Knowing that you’ve managed to work through all of that is inspiring and helpful beyond words.

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi kjpeche! Happy New Year! I’ve found reading books and blogs the most supportive tools thus far (16 months?) as well as switching out drinks with n/a drinks I love and if you possibly can, find a sober buddy. Mine happens to be my husband, but I have one really great friend who is solidly sober 10+ yrs. And while she works the 12 steps,…[Read more]

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Oh! Living Sober…hahahaha…just got that!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi Joy, thanks for your message! One question though, what is LS? I’m not up on all the lingo:-) lol!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yes! It is a good reflection to check and see how crazy it was in my head/day-to-day living versus the “normies” non-attached feelings about booze! I guess that’s why a forum like this is so necessary and awesome! We all awoke from the same nightmare!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    So grateful for this forum…you know I don’t think I really processed what my panic around my cousin’s visit was showing me, until I posted about it here! Thanks for the support/ feedback Tom4500!

  • mysticmama posted a new activity comment 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    Welcome margiemc! There’s lots of support and understanding in this space!

  • Hi everybody! I just spent the Thanksgiving holiday with a cousin of mine whom I hadn’t seen in 2 years. I’ve been sober since Sept 2017, but when she asked what she could bring via text, she listed off all types of alcohol, lol! I had a weird panicky moment that I haven’t felt in a long time, because I’m now used to social situations where…[Read more]

    • Really liked this post, mama, and I think that your reply to her was great. Yes, we’re so much better off now. I too still have these lingering little social issues that I kind of wish would just go away…..I seem to make a bigger deal out of drinking/non drinking issues, that what they really are, what they deserve. Probably just another of…[Read more]

      • So grateful for this forum…you know I don’t think I really processed what my panic around my cousin’s visit was showing me, until I posted about it here! Thanks for the support/ feedback Tom4500!

    • Great to get your post I was obsessed in the morning waiting to wine o’clock not I’m obsessed with LS I know which I prefer lol. All the best happy sober Tuesday. Merry Christmas

    • Yes! It is a good reflection to check and see how crazy it was in my head/day-to-day living versus the “normies” non-attached feelings about booze! I guess that’s why a forum like this is so necessary and awesome! We all awoke from the same nightmare!

  • Thank you @kirst and @liberty…it’s true we enjoyed summer as kids AF, and I know it IS freedom. And yes, it is never just a first drink, it is a first drink of a series of drinks that all lead to the same awful place. Thanks for the support! I’m feeling back on my game.

  • First summer without alcohol…I thought the winter holidays would be the worst for dreaming about a drink, but I’m noticing that I have these thoughts about that “someday” when I try out drinking again and have control over it. I know I’m at the point where I’m forgetting how awful it really was, and remembering only the fun times. Anybody have…[Read more]

    • Only you know how bad you were… And seeing how it brought you here, it might have been bad huh?! Don’t think to far into the future when it comes to drinking.. Just focus on each moment and think what would drinking (not the first sip or glass but all that follows) add to this moment? My answer is always nothing, it would add nothing and take…[Read more]

    • A lot of people seem to find summer hard @mysticmama. The fun, light expansive time. We don’t have to give up fun but perhaps we have to train ourselves to reassociate fun with being AF. We did it when we were kids effortlessly! We can do it again. Maybe the trick is to consciously ensure you have fun times AF. Try telling yourself you’ll go a…[Read more]

    • For me drinking took up so much headspace, I hated waiting for 5pm to come, so much wasted time… sober is soo much better, so much more time, you gain so much by being sober yet gain nothing from drinking! I gave in to that little voice of complacency when I gave up last year… after a few stops and starts i realised that it inevitably returns…[Read more]

  • mysticmama‘s profile was updated 1 year ago