40-something year old solo Mum with 2 children, in ChCh NZ. I've always been a drinker, but have finally come to the realisation it does me no favours and I have lost way too much time, money, motivation and memories to the drink! Plenty of bad memories, embarrassing recollections or blackouts to keep me honest.Sobriety date: November 2017, best damn decision of my life. Eternally grateful to MrsD and this site and all the lovely members, some of whom I'm lucky enough to have met IRL which cemeted my decision for life.
Definitely a gradual build-up over time. For a few years I had thought I wanted to be someone who quit drinking, and set my 40th as the goal (I was 41.5 in the end). The last straw was a big night out (blackout, falling over, kicked out of a bar, embarrassing behaviour etc. but nothing I hadn’t done many times before) and that was enough to make my decision final for once and for all. Nearly 2 years later and don’t regret a thing, except perhaps not doing it sooner!
Hang in there @ro, kids are bloody hard work and I know that feeling of guilt/blaming ourselves for f**king them up. But we can’t change the past so have to do our best for their present and our future. Be kind to yourself xxx
Thanks for the shoutout my buddy, glad life is trucking along nicely for you. Things are OK with me, have been a bit tired and run down, my life-work balance could do with some adjustment and my self-care is definitely in need of a lift! But it is school holidays here in NZ so I have a few days off at the moment so I am enjoying a lie-in the mornings and doing my best not to think about work, at all! However, I’m very secure in my sobriety, drinking really just doesn’t cross my mind and although I don’t socialise often, when I do I’m happy ordering something AF, and proud of being a non-drinker if asked. Take care xx
I’m so glad you are getting a little break from work @mullycat! If I remember correctly, this is a new job of about 6 months for you? Even though it sounds like you are working a lot of hours I hope you are liking the work. Sooooo glad to hear about your security in your sobriety!!! Proud non-drinker, I’ll raise a glass of lemonade to that!! xo
Back from 10 days in Kuala Lumpur. Was tempted to pick up a couple of times and seriously considered having a beer under the guise of “I csn moderate’. Influencing factors were the heat (hey but any old cold drink works there), sociability (I don’t actually need to be inebriated to talk to people!) and celebratory (Red Bull & Coke worked just fine, and I didn’t do anything I regretted nor woke up feeling like shite). Was able to be in the moment, make genuine connections AND stay true to myself. So happy and proud I don’t drink booze anymore! Day 530 x
Great job @mullycatnz!! Well done walking through those triggers and deciding that genuine connections and staying true to yourself are the best choices when that wine witch is whispering in your ear. So very happy to read this! We are almost at our 18 months 🙂 xoxo
Morena whanau. Another day here in ChCh and I’m still feeling pretty raw. I thought I was doing OK holding it together for the kids over the weekend but walking to work yesterday morning past the tribute wall at Botanical gardens which is absolutely covered in hundreds of flowers, cards, notices, candles hit me pretty hard and I arrived to work in tears. By the end of yesterday I was exhausted and not coping well. But today is a new day and we started by taking coffees across the road to the Police officers who have been stationed at the Afghan Society all day and all night and they were lovely and grateful. Was only a small gesture but I am conscious of showing my children some of the things we can do to show our support and gratitude. I realise I have been away this space at LS (mainly due to life being so busy) but am now drawn back here for a much needed dose of community, love and support. I had dinner last night with the gorgeous @morgan and @soberstylist and although I didn’t initially feel like going, I’m pleased I did and it was lovely to see them both. I know I need to increase my self-care as I’m feeling pretty vulnerable right now. But although the thought of drinking briefly crossed my mind on Friday, I’m certainly not in any danger of picking up and for that I’m immensely grateful. Sending love to everyone today and a special shoutout to my day buddy @newstart100. D479x
Love your post and i think we can all empathise with you and everyone else dealing with the horror of last week wherever we are. Lovely gesture with the coffees. Keep posting, we’re all here for support 🙂
That was a lovely gesture with the coffees ❤️ I can’t imagine what seeing those floral tributes would be like in person. Very confronting! I cry just looking at it from the TV. Big hugs to you lovely xxx
Sending you and your country lots of love @mullycatnz xoxo. Such unimaginable pain you are all going through. Lots of hugs from across the ocean. Your gestures are so lovely and much needed to aid in the healing process. So glad you are my day buddy xoxo
So lovely to see you and talk about families and work, ordinary things. We didn’t even mention the D word I dont think. I hope I didn’t rave too much…??? So special to be with understanding people. The nicest thing was knowing this was a little entree, not the end as we will together with many more LS heroes in a couple of weeks.
Thanks Tom for your kind words. Hard to keep going in light of this senseless act, but important to. The kids help with that as they need some normality and routine and I’ve only given them the bare details of it a xx
Thanks Robyn, it is hard. I’m trying to keep things going but feeling that daily life is somewhat trivial in the circumstances. Will take the kids for a walk in nature and try to connect with friends today. Big hugs to you xx
Thank you for your beautifully articulated post. A mixture of feelings here today for me, including a sense of helplessness amidst trying to keep normality going for the sake of the kids. And so very very sad for the senseless loss of so many lives xxx
I second this, so heartwarming to see the messages of love from around the world. Waking up to a day of sadness, disbelief and helplessness. I am esp feeling for the members of the ChCh Afghan Society whose place of worship is across the street from my home and have been directly affected 💔💔
Aw those poor families , it is that helplessness feeling aye , I feel so compelled to reach out , I’m sure our church will set a game plan tomorrow to help in some way , hard to go on as “normal” what even is that anymore .