• Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    I am grateful to see you flourishing!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    *like2*

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Two years (and a few…) before that on the downhill eh @enzedgirl I remember @Prudence saying it’s the hardest and easiest thing you’ll ever do. True that

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hey you!

  • Hiya all
    Just checking in. Just thinking back to three years ago and the depths of my drinking. Shudder.
    My recovery hasn’t been perfect but holy shit it’s a better life today than it was back then. To the people caught in the vortex…Just.Keep.Going.

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    If you keep getting up and brushing yourself off, reflecting and carrying on…you’re doing ok 🙂

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Hugs beautiful x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    So awesome!!!!!!!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    I have never been very good at self compassion but imagining that I’m protecting something fragile and precious and tiny in my hands is a manageable amount for me!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Oops apologies @behind-the-sofa

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    Ha, yes I have told myself that story before too

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 4 months ago

    One of my favourite posts of @mrs-d ‘s is about protecting your sobriety. Imagining it as a precious egg. I have always imagined mine as shimmering light and I just came across this picture that just sums it up perfectly!!!
    After three years on this journey (and a long time before that too but I was really just trying out how to stop drinking not how to live sober) not only can I protect my sobriety but my sobriety washes back over me, makes everything all gold and sparkly, honestly fills me with so much happiness somedays it makes me tearful. Obviously not every day is like that (gawd, how annoying would I be!!??), in fact some days/weeks are truly shitty, but what an amazing gift!
    Protect your sobriety with everything you’ve got peeps x x

  • Mtedenmummy changed their profile picture 4 months ago

    • One of my favourite posts of @mrs-d ‘s is about protecting your sobriety. Imagining it as a precious egg. I have always imagined mine as shimmering light and I just came across this picture that just sums it up perfectly!!!
      After three years on this journey (and a long time before that too but I was really just trying out how to stop drinking not how to live sober) not only can I protect my sobriety but my sobriety washes back over me, makes everything all gold and sparkly, honestly fills me with so much happiness somedays it makes me tearful. Obviously not every day is like that (gawd, how annoying would I be!!??), in fact some days/weeks are truly shitty, but what an amazing gift!
      Protect your sobriety with everything you’ve got peeps x x

    • love it @mtedenmummy – it is about how to live sober. great way of putting it. love the picture and the idea of imagining sobriety as a precious egg, or shimmering light.

    • no worries…. it’s cool that that post resonated with you… : )

      • I have never been very good at self compassion but imagining that I’m protecting something fragile and precious and tiny in my hands is a manageable amount for me!

    • Wow😀

      • Love the analogy of sobriety being like an egg …… @ behind-the-sofa I love the sentence in your original post saying how your egg “ regulates everything from your brain waves to your heartbeat and in return asks for only one thing ……..that you never drink alcohol again “ LOVE THAT concept x

    • Awww beautiful!

  • Morning all
    Not posting much lately but still tagging along. I went out last night for dinner and a non hen’s hens night (not a tiara, pink veil or plastic penis to be seen thank god!). It was just now that I realised I didn’t think twice about not drinking. Drank sparkling water, the bar staff gave us nice glasses to drink it out of (without asking, legend!), chatted, danced, ubered home and felt a whole lot better than most people this morning!!
    So three years and I think I have got socialising sober under control. The wedding is in two weeks and I’m looking forward to it. I won’t be sloppy, won’t have those terrible end of night photos, memory gaps, the “oh gawd how long did I talk politics with the groom’s great uncle” flashbacks the following day!
    Wouldn’t/couldn’t have done this without all you lovely lot x x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Lol exactly @enzedgirl Glitter farts obvs
    It’s hard not to sound cheesy eh. I would go for something just like “Living”

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Oh sweets, there aren’t many feelings worse than lonely. Remember you’re sore at the moment too and the world has gone a bit sideways. Cut yourself some slack and keep in touch x x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Six months, awesome!! Enjoy the retreat, sounds lovely x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Epic!
    The Pavillion at Hamilton Lake is always a good option. Can walk around the lake if it’s nice

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Woohoo! Nice one you rockstar!! Is this the role you were talking about when we had lunch?
    I will def be up for a Hamilton meet so cc me in on details x

    • Yes it is! I’m so excited MEM I can’t tell you! I’ll fill you in when I see you xxx

      Yep the lovely @agirl is looking at venues for a Hamilton get together – she’s a legend. I’ll mail out once we think we’ve found a good spot. Xxx

      • Epic!
        The Pavillion at Hamilton Lake is always a good option. Can walk around the lake if it’s nice

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Yes yes yes! It’s like replacing “I really want a drink” with “I really hate this feeling”. Then you can ride it out or address the issue.
    Sorry that tou’re Having a rough day though. Tweens are fun aren’t they!!?? 😬😬

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Boom 👊

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Isn’t it beautiful!?

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Nice one, best gift you will ever give your kids huh!?
    I totally get where you’re coming from, my head tells me similar lies 🙂 These early days are hard hard HARD so just keep going, you’re doing amazingly.

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Oh lovely @april but think of all that personal development you have done…each blip is just a layer off the onion x x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Mark Twain has the best quotes huh!? This is so true x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    I can completely relate to this. I’m an anxious avoider, so what better way to delay facing something that makes me anxious than with a drink! That’s what the old me thought anyway. My anxiety came in big raw waves when I went AF and was probably responsible for most of my stop-starts in early sobriety. I am so much more calm than I was three four years ago though. Take care of yourself, this too shall pass!

    • @mtedenmummy thank you! Yes, I know it will…..I appreciate the support. I’ve done it before so that helps. 🙂 I will keep taking care. xoxoxo

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    That’s huge – totally controlling the stuff that you can. Go you!!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Absolutely! So so good x

  • Mtedenmummy posted an update 6 months ago

    Evening all,

    Drizzly ol evening here, MtEdenMr is out for a work dinner and kidlets are watching Harry Potter and eating pizza. I tried to summon up my sober best friend @SueK style so made myself a delish salmony, gingery, coriandery salad lol Pizza smells bloody good though…

    8 years ago today since the Christchurch earthquakes. Thinking of all of you folk down there, what a mad time. I read today about the so called quake kids, who all have messed up stress hormones etc. Wow I hope we can help them to stay away from addiction, no doubt there will be many who struggle in the years to come.

    Thought I would share something that has been helping me lately. The circling inner voice of the wine wolf is still with me often (although now it might whisper – “nah, have the pizza” instead of “buy two bottles of wine, even if you only plan to drink one glass”…). About two years ago @marmite and I started to imagine ourselves wearing a wolfskin coat… a big f-off, kick butt, middle finger to wolfie!!! Recently I have started to see the self care that I need to maintain if I want to stay sober as putting on my wolfskin coat. I literally imagine my diet, sleep, exercise, mindfulness etc as pulling on my armour…a big regal, protective, Cruella de Ville style coat to protect me from wolfie. I think it has helped me reframe those habits from some boring, dumb thing that other people dont have to do (mutter mutter grumble grumble sulk) into a really positive empowering thing. And I think that having an image to focus on helps me too. I dunno…might help someone!

    Hope you all have lovely weekend plans. Not much outside standard kid’s sport, birthdays etc on the agenda here but that’s fine with me 🙂

    x x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months ago

    Oh yaaaaaaaaay! That has made my day @wildchild

  • Mtedenmummy posted an update 6 months ago

    For the lovely @morgan… how was the GP visit?

    • Mainly a huge relief, though back for minor surgery soon. Other cancer checks ok and she said I wouldn’t need statins, not quite as no heart attacks under 50 in the family – like I would take such ghastly drugs!!!! We did go on to swap fav researchers and discuss the whole cholesterol debate, food/ fasting and holistic medicine. She admitted my ‘good’ cholesterol was actually up. (My study of the researchshows the whole thing to be WAY more complex than we are presented with; the ‘bad’ cholesterol only being dangerous if oxidised with glucose in our overloaded systems. otherwise helpful in preventing dementia amongst 1000 other important functions..) bla bla. Thanks for asking xxxxx

      • oxxoxoxoxo Huge relief (mainly) high five, morgan!!!!
        Go extra gentle with yourself for a while there.

    • Yes @morgan, we need an update!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    Take care lovely @April x

  • Just home from the lantern festival celebrating the Chinese NY. Awesome food and a beautiful evening out with girlfriends. Slightly alarming seeing the many many drunk teens and twenty somethings shuffling around in the dark. I felt sorry for them to be honest.

    I am enjoying a really comfortable sobriety at the moment. Very happy and feeling very plugged in to everything going on around me. I know that the pendulum will swing the other way soon enough, as that’s how life goes, but I’m enjoying the ride for now x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    Would love to but I’m the same with two papers this semester. I will be in ChH (and Wgtn actually) in early March though and always up to meet my sober gang x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    @Kate1975 if it’s too personal a question just tell me but do you take Quatiapine? I only ask because I used to take it and I’ve often wondered if I could get away without my SSRIs if I took it again. I know everyone is different but always good to hear other people’s stories.
    Sounds like you have loads going on. I hope you can ride out this funk. Up the self care as much as you can, get some extra sleep and don’t beat yourself up…you’re doing amazingly!!!!!!!

    • Hi @mtedenmummy, yes I am on Quetiapine. I dropped my dose down to 150mg a few months before giving up the drink. Psychiatrist put me back up to 200mg a night when I went off the antidepressants. Her advice was 200-300mg is a mood stabilising dose, less is an antidepressant dose and above 300mg is an anti-psychotic action. So she was more comfortable with me on more Q without the ADs. I’m keen to drop back to 150mg as the weight gain is a bit horrible and hard to fight but I’m not in a rush for that. I find I am a bit up and down during the day (hence my post) but certainly appreciate the mood reset from the Q each night. Things are going OK for me since Friday. x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    I haven’t been on much and just saw this @Tim Bloody awesome!!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    So good @nigel
    That skill of being able to take a step back and see thoughts and feelings for what they are is a massive sobriety tool. So cool that you’re doing it instinctively. See you here again tomorrow 🙂

  • So sobriety gave me another gift this week. Last night I went to tennis lessons for the first time in my adult life. Aaahhhhh. I used to play at school and on and off since then but only with people I really trusted. I always enjoyed it but the increasing lack of confidence during my drinking years (not to mention that an evening lesson would have really eaten into my drinking time…) meant that it wasn’t an option. But last night I bit the bullet and went along. My kids were there for part of it too which was super cool as I got to model a bit of “out of my comfort zone” for them.
    That feeling of getting head to pillow in the evening, being proud of your day…best bit of sobriety without doubt 🙂
    Hope you’re all travelling ok. Love to you @wildchild

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    That’s awesome!!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    So true @daveh When I relapsed after a decent period sober I made myself write it all down, all the gritty, shameful, messy, confusing ugliness of it. I think it is what got me through the same mark again the next time (and a fair few moderation fantasies since!)

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Loving detachment in action. Gold star Mum!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    So good, keep going!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Ah but you’re rising strong and that’s the only bit you can control. Keep up the good work

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    It is so nice to come back on the site and see you thriving @April Boom…nailing it!

    • Thanks @mtedenmummy, the reality is that I’m only back af for x2 days most recently. As u may be aware, I have had days, weeks and months af multiple times before… now it’s simply a case of putting me way high up on my priority list so I can become an af superstar like so many of you

  • @timidwarrior totally off topic but can you point me in the direction of some good Māori (mental) health 101 style reading!? Keen to upskill on my tikanga and not sure where to start.

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    And I get to use my new JOCO reusable mug for the first time. Woohoo!

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @timidwarrior If you want a catch up before the next Auckland one just let me know

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks everyone 🙂 @rise2015 @agirl @morgan @enzedgirl
    Just a good old fashioned school holiday. Lots of camping, cheerful quirky little beaches, surf, sun, sand, walks, board games, cards, good food etc etc. I managed to not work for most of it and I really worked hard on getting in there with the kids. It just was magical.
    I am sitting up at Starship with Mr4 on nebuliser. Thankfully nowhere near as bad as our last stay here and I am SOBER here with him so two things to be grateful for 🙂

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Check you! Awesome. Sleep well x

  • Mtedenmummy posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    I found most of my CADS time pretty triggering! I ended up stepping back and putting my energy into self care but I may yet go back

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