After years of trying to moderate/control my drinking I finally stopped completely on the 1st of August 2014. Mrs D's story gave me the motivation and the belief that it is actually possible. Already my life has improved by removing the everyday wine habit and my only regret is that I didn't do this years ago!
Tomorrow is day 365!!! I’ve been on this site everyday (lurking) and have gained so much inspiration and knowledge from everyones posts. Thank you!!! My first attempt at sobriety was after seeing Mrs D on tv but I didn’t last long. When I stopped drinking this time my goal was to give it a year and see how I felt. My thinking was that a year off booze would let me re-set my limits and I would be able to moderate. Now I’m at that point and when I’m being honest with myself I know that it wouldn’t take long till I was back to my old habits and all the hard work of the last year would be wasted. I also gave up smoking nine months ago and the thought of getting pissed & having a ciggy scares me shitless but the two go hand in hand for me. My life and how I feel about myself now is so much improved. For the first time in my adult life I’m not being self destructive and I’m actually getting to know myself properly. Feeling quite emotional about tomorrow really. Without a doubt there’s no way I would’ve lasted this long without this site. Your posts have helped me understand and accept the different stages and feelings along the way and I think you’re all amazing
@mrsw congratulations! Absolutely fantastic milestone. Isn’t the self-discovery and the empowerment that sobriety brings great?! But I completely understand what you said … “when I’m being honest with myself I know that it wouldn’t take long till I was back to my old habits and all the hard work of the last year would be wasted.” I focus the majority of the time on the positives of sobriety but sometimes it comes down to plain old fear that keeps me going. I’m scared to death that if I took that first drink I’d be sliding right down that incredibly steep mountain to that pit of despair and anxiety and shame. I don’t ever want to be there again.
So last year I stopped drinking (& smoking) on Aug 2 because I was tired of feeling like crap all the time and finally admitted that moderation is not something I can do. Thought I was committed but only lasted two weeks before deciding I was over reacting, didn ‘t have that much of a problem etc etc. Unsurprisingly it didn’t take long before I was back to old patterns, drinking pretty much every day (not hammered during week, just taking edge off). Waking up hungover at least once every weekend and trying desperately to hide it from husband & kids. Then had a bit of a wake up call early this year. Had major surgery to remove a large benign tumour from my liver. Only had a couple of weeks to prepare for op so stopped drinking & smoking straight away and really felt like this was a turning point in my life. Recovery was a pretty hard road but after about 8 weeks I was feeling ok. I was feeling really motivated and more excited about life than I had for ages and even enjoyed a few nights out as the sober driver. At about 12 weeks post op I decided I felt ready for a glass of wine. Just the one, no big deal. I thought there’d be now way I’d get back to the pre surgery level of drinking, really felt like I had a greater appreciation of how you have nothing if you don’t have your health! It didn’t take long and my ability to moderate was gone again. I had started smoking again as well, and was feeling so stupid to have got myself back to that point. I hadn’t learnt anything! Anyway, found out I needed another surgery, not as major this time. Felt like I was being given another chance to sort my shit out. Had op on Tuesday so at home recovering with lots of time to think. Turning 40 this year and feel like I’m at a major fork in the road. I can picture a really happy fulfilling life if I stop drinking or just more of the same shit with less authentic relationships if I go back to drinking again. It’s a no brainer really but feels like a massive decision. It’s…[Read more]
It’s been a major year for you Mrs W. Thanks for letting us know how it so often goes with that one drink, I’m in control now scenario. Now that you are resting and healing, I hope the next year is much easier for you with no more big health worries. Thinking back to when I was forty, living well but with too much red wine, and white wine, and whatever else, I can only think how good it would have been to stop drinking then, because the next almost 20 years may have involved plenty of time with other connoisseurs! but really, I was just working at dependency. You could save yourself the bother and have a good long alcoholiday. Must say it is just as wonderful to be free of the cancer sticks. Hoping you have lots of tender care just now xx
Thank you so much for sharing. Hoping for a smooth and steady recovery for you. Congrats on your well earned Seven Days! Forty is an absolutely perfect time to embrace sobriety. You will be amazed at how much better life is sober. Smile and be proud!
Thank you so very, very much for sharing your story. You can’t possibly know how many people you may have just helped who are beginning to think they can moderate. I wish you strength as you climb aboard our sobriety wagon and go for the ride of your life with us! Hang on! Sometime it’s a pretty bumpy trip but we’ll help as much as we can to keep you from falling off! 🙂
I applaud you @MrsW I have often thought over the years “If only a Dr would tell me I have to stop for whatever health reason, then it would make me stop” But if that did happen I think it might make it all the harder. I think it’s brilliant that you know this is the right road for you now, and at nearly 40 one of the huge added benefits is you will keep your looks, and love who you see in the mirror every day. I hope you smile at her today and tell her what a wise, brave, gorgeous person she is, and what a fantastic opportunity the coming years hold in store for her. I wish you all the happiness in the world xo
I know exactly what you mean ITG66!!! Today is day 13 for me and the hardest to resist going and buying a bottle of wine by far! I’ll make that promise with you. Love your posts, this place wouldn’t be the same without you xx
Day 8 today and really enjoying how much clearer and calmer I feel. I’m a way better Mum without wine – bit of an eye opener really because I’m having to face the fact that the kids’ behavior ie. fighting, shouting at each other, impatience etc has dramatically reduced and this must have been a reflection of the stress and anger at myself that I was feeling. I’m so pleased I’ve stopped drinking!!!!!
Happy Saturday everyone and I hope you all have a great hangover free Sunday 🙂
I know the kids used to drive me mad,(still do) but I’m much more calmer now that I’m not hungover and bad tempered.. feel really bad that they’ve been caught up in my drinking days.. but 11 weeks sober today and life is good. xxxx