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  • mrschurchill posted an update 1 week ago

    Just wondering what made people here decide to stop drinking? Was it a sudden lightbulb moment or was it niggling at you for months (or years) that you just had to do something and then one day… you knew it was the day that you weren’t going to drink anymore?

    • ginny replied 1 week ago

      I’ve known for a couple of years I had a problem with guzzling wine. I was making poor decisions, missing work and generally felt like shit. I’ve been back and forth here a few times cause wanted to try moderation…. What does that word mean?? Ha ha. Anyway I feel so much better sober!

    • I knew it would probably be the death of me as my health was suffering. Also my family had had enough. My slightly naive son was desperate to help and very suggestive. I had to listen to him. It was simple to him!!!

      • @mrschurchill I’ve known for about 5 years but it took a few really dreadful nights out over about 2 years before I really faced facts.
        And then the job I’m currently contracted on was incredibly intense and I realized I just wasn’t on my best form. If I wanted to succeed at my job I needed every ounce of my brain, and not to be foggy due to drinking too much over the weekend. That then turned into facing the bigger picture. I also have a much loved sister that I was spending a lot of time with, and her drinking was really worrying me. All of the above just kind of collided at the right time for me to just stop. It hasn’t been hard at all so far. I think for me the slow slow burn meant it was just the right time.

      • “It was simple to him” — LOL. Yes. I’ve been reading a bit on the damage that alcohol does to the body and that definitely planted the seeds for me to give it up. I don’t really want to die that way.

        • I have written a short but hard hitting piece. About the death of an alcoholic. Having seen that god knows why I carried on drinking. But I have stopped before it’s too late, I am very aware of the impact upon my body and the huge improvement AF makes. I have two vivid memories of alcoholic death, the gin in hospital in the last few hours, and the fear of the widow that the death certificate might state something about alcohol. It was a sad and slow passing, and all elements of dignity slipped away. AF may not have prolonged that life but the quality of life for the person and his family could have been considerably better.

    • Teazy replied 1 week ago

      Hi, niggling at me for years, ive had several attempts at stopping because i thought i should, i never really wanted to…this time i want to! i know from experience now that the sober life is much better in every possible way and i never want to go back to hangovers, sickness, shame, one big thing ive learned is that alcohol is portrayed wrongly to us by the industry, by social media, by well meaning friends…because no on really wants to share about the misery, the anxiety, the depression right? well not until now, sites like this one are a real eye opener, good luck, read lots and you will be amazed!

    • For me it was building up for some time. After a period of moderation following pregnancy and having a wee baby to look after I had steadily been spiraling back into really heavy drinking for about 18 months. When a bottle of wine a day wasn’t enough I knew it was either descend further into the pit or stop. I chose a quit day a few weeks ahead and really talked myself into it and got as ready as I could. When I realised I was wishing away time with my little one so I could drink after he went to bed I knew my thinking was totally f#*ked.

    • I’m new here, history of binge drinking. One reoccuring theme is that I get drunk and have sex with men I’m not remotely attracted to sober, and I’ve invited countless complete strangers into my home for sex.

    • In saying this, some men I really liked and would have pursued but ruined things with my drinking antics. I’m like the crazy drunk girl, good for fucking but out of control and not gf material.
      Can we swear on here? 😉

    • I have had a niggling feeling for over two years probably, off and on. I have told myself time and time again it’s time to “slow down” on drinking. A few times a year I would have a really bad night of it, do and say stupid shit, or barely remember the previous evening. I’d stop for a few days while wallowing in regret then start up again once I felt fine. For a long time didn’t even see it as a problem. As time went on the word “alcoholic” kept flickering in my mind and I would then deny deny deny because I wasn’t waking up and immediately drinking or wasn’t drinking “that much” on nights when I had work in the morning, didn’t get shaky with withdrawals or anything. Thirteen nights ago…stayed up until the early morning drinking and blabbing to a new friend on Facebook, over sharing as usual, probably weirding her out. Woke up and just finally started googling online alcohol free communities. Found this one, read some of the sober stories and new in my heart of hearts I needed to stop before my life was totally unrecognizable and my kids got old enough to catch on to my bullshit. Only then did I truly see how MUCH I was drinking. This is the long story short. I don’t want to be the person I was being. <3

    • Lucy replied 1 week ago

      I couldn’t do it anymore @mrschurchill, have had periods of sobriety over 18 months to a few months here and there. Tried moderation every time and it definitely didn’t work for me.. I’m an alcoholic ( even though Jason Vales book says were not.. were alcohol addicts). This time I needed a wake up call, I’ve had several rock bottoms but now it’s forever. 28 days today.. and feeling like a new person, so well and happy with no booze in my life. x

    • Definitely a gradual build-up over time. For a few years I had thought I wanted to be someone who quit drinking, and set my 40th as the goal (I was 41.5 in the end). The last straw was a big night out (blackout, falling over, kicked out of a bar, embarrassing behaviour etc. but nothing I hadn’t done many times before) and that was enough to make my decision final for once and for all. Nearly 2 years later and don’t regret a thing, except perhaps not doing it sooner!

    • It had been building up over time for me too. I had many, many Day 1s that never stuck. The longest I had ever gone was 9 months and then I returned to drinking with excuses that I wasn’t that bad, and everyone has a few drinks after a stressful day. I finally woke up one morning (hungover again) and I was just so sick of feeling that way. I was tired of the headaches, and the nauseous stomach, and the recrimination and the terrible shame. I was tired of wasting entire days recovering from a hangover only to begin the mad cycle again at 5 pm. I was just plain tired of it. I wanted my life back. I wanted to feel proud of myself and reclaim my soul and who I was as a person before I became a prisoner of booze. And that was my Day 1. I read as much as I could, blogs and books, and listened to podcasts and then found this site and cried tears of joy because I wasn’t alone. I’ll be 3 years sober this September and I will never drink again because alcohol provides absolutely nothing. Life is still sticky and there are bills to pay and 3 kids to care for and a stressful job. But there is joy and self respect and beauty in the little moments that fill me up in ways that Chardonnay never could. I’m glad you’re here. xoxo

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