• mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 12 hours, 49 minutes ago

    Oh boy. I know how you feel because I live in a country not my own. I fell in love with a British man and moved across the ocean and I remember well how hard it was. I really grieved for — probably 2 years. I found it extremely hard to make friends and I realised, after awhile, that I don’t “make” friends… I find them. I have found a few here but I do not have a wide circle. It’s really hard if your husband is working very hard and long hours. I got in touch with other Americans and sometimes that helped. I joined an ex-pat forum and that helped. Good luck. I hope you can meet a few people who might be a good support.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 13 hours ago

    Good for you to keep trying. Good for you for posting and checking in. One day at a time.

  • Good day, everyone. I’m checking in on day 11 of living AF. I went out last night to meet up with a friend and I drank a soft drink but boy did I want a glass of wine and boy am I glad that I didn’t drink one. I do have to say that this morning I woke up with a horrible, terrible headache. I’m sure it’s from the air pressure as it’s very humid and kind of rainy here this morning. The headache subsided after coffee and ibuprofen and I can assure you that had I had a hangover, the headache would not have left and I would have spent the day in bed. Have a great day, everyone.

    • Hi it’s humid here and i keep waking up with a headache think we need a good thunderstorm to clear it.. it does feel like a hangover though,, well done on sticking with the soft drink I know that would have been hard.. day 11 your doing this @mrschurchill x

    • Good on you for pushing through 🙂

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 13 hours, 11 minutes ago

    I don’t think I’ll ever sort out my problems… at least not all of them. I try to make progress on my self development. I am newly sober but I had to stop because I just didn’t feel good. I drank daily — I drank alone at home and isolated and that’s the way I liked it. People would invite me out for an evening and I would rather stay home and drink white wine and live in my head. I think I started feeling physically kind of wrecked, but also, I felt a bit like a fraud. I got tired of the sameness of every day. I listened to a podcast whereby the interviewer and guest talked about the fact that they stopped drinking… not because they were addicted, but because alcohol kept them from further spiritual and emotional development. I think that helped me to put the drink down and try to live without substances to alter my state. I hope that makes sense.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 2 days, 10 hours ago

    Well. I’m also someone who has slipped up and started again a couple of times. I’m very new here but even in this tenuous newbie status, things that have helped me are: 1 — posting here almost every day. 2. watching You Tube videos about alcoholism and what it’s like to die from liver disease 3. Listening to podcasts about sobriety (I listen to Sober Curious but there are others). Also. I used to like to drink in the evenings so I go to bed early. I hope that helps. Good luck.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 2 days, 10 hours ago

    Welcome. I’m very new here as well. Good for you for putting your head above the parapet. I check in almost every day just to keep myself accountable. Good luck.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 2 days, 10 hours ago

    I resonate with you very much on this. I’m a wine mom (tho not really a “mom”) I am not a falling down drunk or someone who has blackouts. I just drank too much… every day. At about 5 PM… I’d pour the wine and then I’d drink until I was blotto. (Just a side note here… I would LOVE a drink right now but I’m not going to drink.) Anyhoo. I can’t moderate. I drink… or I don’t. It’s easier, frankly, to just remain completely AF than to try to moderate.

  • Hi everyone…I’m checking in again and I have been AF for one week. It’s not been too bad and I’ve only had fleeting drink signals but I manage to just push them away. Still just drinking loads of non alcoholic soft drinks and, honestly, I’m going to bed extra early just to avoid having to be downstairs where I might long for a glass of wine. Headaches have gone. Last night was probably the first really good night of sleep that I’ve had in over a week and I’m so very grateful for that. Take care everyone!

    • That’s wonderful Mrs CH. Every week away from wine is a week towards freedom! Yay for you! and the sleeps will only get better and better… lovely feeling!

    • Well done you a whole week of being free of the guilt inducing booze! Going to bed early is just something we have to do sometimes, but that’s ok it won’t stay this way if you keep at it. Remember lots of healthy snacks too to help feed your brain and body, don’t worry about gaining weight in the early days. That settles back down too after a bit. You’re going great guns!

    • @mrschurchill Well done! One week free, yay!! Going to bed early is also what I do to keep out of trouble 🙂

    • Nice! That first week is tough. A tried and true aid to beginning on the path, go to bed early.

    • sounds good, @mrschurchill – congrats to you for making it through your first week, enjoy your sleep.

    • Ooooooohhhhh…that first blessed night of sleep and a clear morning. Life is about to get sssooooo much better for you. Good luck !

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 5 days, 19 hours ago

    Great news. Congrats on maintaining your AF status for 65 days.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    That sounds like a great Friday. My husband rarely drinks and so he doesn’t really “get” the whole addiction thing, but he’s supportive and I’m grateful for that.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    “it looks so normal” — haha. I know what you mean. It’s not normal for me, either and I’m just getting used to my evenings free of alcohol. I drank every night. I am a wine lady (I would say wine mom but I’m not a mom). The night before last I was sitting up in bed READING A BOOK!! I haven’t done that in a long time.

    • I go to bed with a book now to.. at least I can see to read and not watch all the words blend into one.. after a bottle of wine and a few large vodkas..

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    I’m hoping that these headaches are also because of the barometric pressure… we’re having high humidity. But I can tell you that they’re nothing like the hangover headaches I would get. Today I managed to work all day, even with this niggling little headache and I wouldn’t have been able to do that with a wine hangover.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    There are a couple of good sober podcasts, too. I accidentally listened to one a few weeks ago, while I had insomnia. It was very good and it was yet another thing that helped me decide to quit.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    Thank you for your words of encouragement.

  • Thank you, everyone who responded to my post on “what made you quit?” yesterday. I loved reading everyone’s stories. I’m checking in this morning (here in the UK). I’m still very, very early into sobriety. I woke up again with a headache… three days in a row now. They’re not bad, stinking headaches but they irritate me. I’ve got to accept that my body is processing this new change… no ethanol. Yesterday I bought a whole variety of non-alcoholic soft drinks. I also watched a You Tube video on what it’s like to die from alcoholism and if anyone ever wants to dampen the thought of picking up a glass of wine (or whatever)… watch a video on dying from liver disease or hemorrhaging blood (sorry — spelling might be wrong). Anyway. I’m glad I have not had a drink all week and I’m glad I’m not hungover this morning. I have a ton of work to do today and I know I can get through it. Looking forward to sleeping through the night and no headaches. 🙂 Happy Friday.

    • You’re doing great!! Sorry about the headaches. They will pass.

    • I obsessively watched those sorts of videos in the beginning. Seriously helped me so much. Have a great Friday!

      • There are a couple of good sober podcasts, too. I accidentally listened to one a few weeks ago, while I had insomnia. It was very good and it was yet another thing that helped me decide to quit.

    • The headaches will pass!! Boy are they annoying on top of the work we are putting in to quitting in the first place!! But mine are almost entirely gone and every morning I wake up feeling just a bit better than the morning before. 🙂

      • I’m hoping that these headaches are also because of the barometric pressure… we’re having high humidity. But I can tell you that they’re nothing like the hangover headaches I would get. Today I managed to work all day, even with this niggling little headache and I wouldn’t have been able to do that with a wine hangover.

    • I get headaches when I’m stressed but when I drank I was ok.. but being early days for me to my body is changing.. no booze. I’m grateful to be sober today but my god it’s hard work sometimes, think it’s cause it just looks so normal.. well it’s not for me.. one drink and blackout here I come, along with all the bad stuff.. well done to you.

      • “it looks so normal” — haha. I know what you mean. It’s not normal for me, either and I’m just getting used to my evenings free of alcohol. I drank every night. I am a wine lady (I would say wine mom but I’m not a mom). The night before last I was sitting up in bed READING A BOOK!! I haven’t done that in a long time.

        • I go to bed with a book now to.. at least I can see to read and not watch all the words blend into one.. after a bottle of wine and a few large vodkas..

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    “It was simple to him” — LOL. Yes. I’ve been reading a bit on the damage that alcohol does to the body and that definitely planted the seeds for me to give it up. I don’t really want to die that way.

    • I have written a short but hard hitting piece. About the death of an alcoholic. Having seen that god knows why I carried on drinking. But I have stopped before it’s too late, I am very aware of the impact upon my body and the huge improvement AF makes. I have two vivid memories of alcoholic death, the gin in hospital in the last few hours, and the fear of the widow that the death certificate might state something about alcohol. It was a sad and slow passing, and all elements of dignity slipped away. AF may not have prolonged that life but the quality of life for the person and his family could have been considerably better.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Things are better sober.

  • mrschurchill posted an update 1 week ago

    Just wondering what made people here decide to stop drinking? Was it a sudden lightbulb moment or was it niggling at you for months (or years) that you just had to do something and then one day… you knew it was the day that you weren’t going to drink anymore?

    • ginny replied 1 week ago

      I’ve known for a couple of years I had a problem with guzzling wine. I was making poor decisions, missing work and generally felt like shit. I’ve been back and forth here a few times cause wanted to try moderation…. What does that word mean?? Ha ha. Anyway I feel so much better sober!

    • I knew it would probably be the death of me as my health was suffering. Also my family had had enough. My slightly naive son was desperate to help and very suggestive. I had to listen to him. It was simple to him!!!

      • @mrschurchill I’ve known for about 5 years but it took a few really dreadful nights out over about 2 years before I really faced facts.
        And then the job I’m currently contracted on was incredibly intense and I realized I just wasn’t on my best form. If I wanted to succeed at my job I needed every ounce of my brain, and not to be foggy due to drinking too much over the weekend. That then turned into facing the bigger picture. I also have a much loved sister that I was spending a lot of time with, and her drinking was really worrying me. All of the above just kind of collided at the right time for me to just stop. It hasn’t been hard at all so far. I think for me the slow slow burn meant it was just the right time.

      • “It was simple to him” — LOL. Yes. I’ve been reading a bit on the damage that alcohol does to the body and that definitely planted the seeds for me to give it up. I don’t really want to die that way.

        • I have written a short but hard hitting piece. About the death of an alcoholic. Having seen that god knows why I carried on drinking. But I have stopped before it’s too late, I am very aware of the impact upon my body and the huge improvement AF makes. I have two vivid memories of alcoholic death, the gin in hospital in the last few hours, and the fear of the widow that the death certificate might state something about alcohol. It was a sad and slow passing, and all elements of dignity slipped away. AF may not have prolonged that life but the quality of life for the person and his family could have been considerably better.

    • Teazy replied 1 week ago

      Hi, niggling at me for years, ive had several attempts at stopping because i thought i should, i never really wanted to…this time i want to! i know from experience now that the sober life is much better in every possible way and i never want to go back to hangovers, sickness, shame, one big thing ive learned is that alcohol is portrayed wrongly to us by the industry, by social media, by well meaning friends…because no on really wants to share about the misery, the anxiety, the depression right? well not until now, sites like this one are a real eye opener, good luck, read lots and you will be amazed!

    • For me it was building up for some time. After a period of moderation following pregnancy and having a wee baby to look after I had steadily been spiraling back into really heavy drinking for about 18 months. When a bottle of wine a day wasn’t enough I knew it was either descend further into the pit or stop. I chose a quit day a few weeks ahead and really talked myself into it and got as ready as I could. When I realised I was wishing away time with my little one so I could drink after he went to bed I knew my thinking was totally f#*ked.

    • I’m new here, history of binge drinking. One reoccuring theme is that I get drunk and have sex with men I’m not remotely attracted to sober, and I’ve invited countless complete strangers into my home for sex.

    • In saying this, some men I really liked and would have pursued but ruined things with my drinking antics. I’m like the crazy drunk girl, good for fucking but out of control and not gf material.
      Can we swear on here? 😉

    • I have had a niggling feeling for over two years probably, off and on. I have told myself time and time again it’s time to “slow down” on drinking. A few times a year I would have a really bad night of it, do and say stupid shit, or barely remember the previous evening. I’d stop for a few days while wallowing in regret then start up again once I felt fine. For a long time didn’t even see it as a problem. As time went on the word “alcoholic” kept flickering in my mind and I would then deny deny deny because I wasn’t waking up and immediately drinking or wasn’t drinking “that much” on nights when I had work in the morning, didn’t get shaky with withdrawals or anything. Thirteen nights ago…stayed up until the early morning drinking and blabbing to a new friend on Facebook, over sharing as usual, probably weirding her out. Woke up and just finally started googling online alcohol free communities. Found this one, read some of the sober stories and new in my heart of hearts I needed to stop before my life was totally unrecognizable and my kids got old enough to catch on to my bullshit. Only then did I truly see how MUCH I was drinking. This is the long story short. I don’t want to be the person I was being. <3

    • Lucy replied 1 week ago

      I couldn’t do it anymore @mrschurchill, have had periods of sobriety over 18 months to a few months here and there. Tried moderation every time and it definitely didn’t work for me.. I’m an alcoholic ( even though Jason Vales book says were not.. were alcohol addicts). This time I needed a wake up call, I’ve had several rock bottoms but now it’s forever. 28 days today.. and feeling like a new person, so well and happy with no booze in my life. x

    • Definitely a gradual build-up over time. For a few years I had thought I wanted to be someone who quit drinking, and set my 40th as the goal (I was 41.5 in the end). The last straw was a big night out (blackout, falling over, kicked out of a bar, embarrassing behaviour etc. but nothing I hadn’t done many times before) and that was enough to make my decision final for once and for all. Nearly 2 years later and don’t regret a thing, except perhaps not doing it sooner!

    • It had been building up over time for me too. I had many, many Day 1s that never stuck. The longest I had ever gone was 9 months and then I returned to drinking with excuses that I wasn’t that bad, and everyone has a few drinks after a stressful day. I finally woke up one morning (hungover again) and I was just so sick of feeling that way. I was tired of the headaches, and the nauseous stomach, and the recrimination and the terrible shame. I was tired of wasting entire days recovering from a hangover only to begin the mad cycle again at 5 pm. I was just plain tired of it. I wanted my life back. I wanted to feel proud of myself and reclaim my soul and who I was as a person before I became a prisoner of booze. And that was my Day 1. I read as much as I could, blogs and books, and listened to podcasts and then found this site and cried tears of joy because I wasn’t alone. I’ll be 3 years sober this September and I will never drink again because alcohol provides absolutely nothing. Life is still sticky and there are bills to pay and 3 kids to care for and a stressful job. But there is joy and self respect and beauty in the little moments that fill me up in ways that Chardonnay never could. I’m glad you’re here. xoxo

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Also a new member and a newbie to sobriety.

  • mrschurchill posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Good luck and congrats on day 27. 🙂

  • I have recently stopped drinking and this is the bewitching hour for me. I would usually pour the wine and sit down… and then go blotto. I don’t intend to drink but I just want to put this out there. Also. I’m extremely tired today and woke up with a headache… but at least I know it’s not a hangover.

    • Hi @mrschurchill tiredness sets my drinking mind off to.. I used alcohol as a crutch but I just couldn’t stop and would wake up feeling awful.. hope you feel better after a good sleep ..

    • Yup, incessant headaches and sleepless nights for me. Paracetamol helped me. Glad to say I am through that phase now and feeling great and my body is enjoying being poison free. In NZ it’s 6am but assume your bewitching hour is about 5pm. Go for a brisk walk, think of the benefits, the puffiness of the face and eyes that disappears, the breathing and financial benefits. I am loving life.

    • Are the sober headaches normal? I feel like I wake up with one every morning but it goes away quickly. It bothers me because I associate waking up with a headache with hangovers… 🙁

  • mrschurchill became a registered member 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    • And welcome to you, you’ve just joined the most supportive community ever for help and support to stop booze getting in the way of living xo