I used to be a boozy housewife guzzling wine like it was going out of fashion and now I'm quite the opposite - very happily sober! What a turnaround. My sobriety date is September 6, 2011. I set up this site in August, 2014 in conjunction with 2 NZ Govt Agencies .. and with their ongoing support we are fortunate that this site remains free and safe for all. I manage all the content here (writing blog posts, Sober Stories, mocktail recipes etc) and supervise our team of volunteer Community Moderators. You can get hold of me any time by notifying me in the feed (@mrs-d) or emailing me at email@example.com
I'm also active on Facebook (Mrs D Is Going Without), Twitter (@mrsdalcoholfree) and Instagram (@mrs_d_alcoholfree) and I have two books out about my recovery. 'Mrs D Is Going Without' tells the story of how I quit and 'Mrs D Is Going Within' tells the story of how I developed lasting tools to help me live sober long term. I also write a sober blog called Mrs D Is Going Without which you can find at (www.livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot.com). Great to have you here with us!
Day 70! I’m feeling great, but this afternoon my husband said he might be traveling next week, and my brain said, “you can go out and drink while he’s not here. It’ll be easy to pretend it never happened.” LIE. I only have to play it through to see the bs in that thought. Not worth it. I’m annoyed I thought it though. I don’t want to drink. on a side note I thought I smelled alcohol on a conworkers breath today and could feel no judgement, just felt sad. I wish I was more open so if people needed a friend they would know I’m in the same boat. I don’t feel comfortable “coming out” since I’m still a short timer, but I look forward to the day of being open and comfortable with my past drinking days.
congrats, honestjoy. Being alone was always a great time for me to drink, until … that was all I did. It is weird to smell alcohol on inappropriate times. As our smell gets better, may smell in more often. Thank you for the post. Be well.
I have those old trigger thoughts sometimes, too. The weatherman said to buckle down for severe weather and I immediately thought, Great! I get to drink!. That was an old leftover thought but I think it was the first time the weather was that bad since I quit. I’ve been through 3 seasons, one more to go to get all those thought triggers out of the way! Good for you sitting through it!
Oh @Jocord I so hear you. I too when I know Im going to be on my own,think—‘well noone will know if I have a drink,Ill turn the phone off, or make the phonecalls early on in the drinking evening’ OMG the lies I tell myself!!! Shameful!! Its like Im trying to get away with it—but very seldom ever do. I know you will understand this dribble.
70 days…now that’s the number of a winner!!! oxoxox Lots of compassion in your post there, honestjoy. I’d feel the same way about a colleague if one showed up drunk/hungover/reeking of alcohol…been there and done that myself.
Life is easier on the sober side….it really is. And I can relate to seeing hubby being gone as a drinking opportunity…been there and done that, too. …I used to think “nobody would know and I could just not mention it on that Living Sober website forum”….So glad I never did end up drinking again.
“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” ― L.R. Knost
I’ve been thinking about this for a while. It’s a thought for anyone whos on this jourbey, you may be struggling or having issues with the wine bitch, or you may be in early says or you may be absolutely fine. It’s just a little exercise. Write yourself a letter. It’s to you from your future self. It’s your future self telling you about how they spent the last year. How will that look? Will it be an apology? Will it be a letter of regret that yet another year of your life has been spent inside alcohol and guilt and regret? Will it tell you about a range of disastrous social events where you embarrassed yourself, your friends and family? Will it tell you about hangovers so bad you couldn’t get out if bed all day? Will it worry about liver damage, aging, crap skin, bloated face? Will you be crying when you write it? Will you struggle to start writing it because you’re so ashamed and full of regret? Will you be happy with yourself? Or Will it be a letter full of pride? A letter from your sober self? A letter cataloging achievements, detailing some fabulous social events where you danced and played and had a completely fabulous sober time and with absolutely no embarrassment remember the entire evening? Will you be proud of how you parented you children or supported your partner or friends? Will you be glowing when you write it? Will you know that you can have bad days and survive them sober? Will you be thrilled at how you look and be delighted everytime you get a “wow you’re looking great” compliment? Will you be proud of how far you’ve come? Will you smile as you tell your past self that they absolutely can do it and that even the tricky days are absolutely worth it. You will probably want to acknowledge that there will still be dome future days when random drinking ideas will pop into your head and that you will deal with them as you have done far – sometimes the thought gives you a fright, sometimes you laugh in the face of the wine bitch and…[Read more]
Morning Lizi……I remember seeing @Bossman on something like 388 days when I was on a hundred odd and I just thought that was an unbelievable/unobtainable number….. he said something like: we’re all on the same bus going around the same daily route, I’ve just ridden it a few more times… I thought that was very well put because it demonstrated everyone was on an even playing field, facing the same struggles on a daily basis… yes, in some respects it gets easier – and those early milestones are in many ways more significant because they’re so hard fought for – but later on you face the dangers of complacency and let’s face it we’re none of us safe from relapse at any point. I find people’s big day counts inspiring, I think they’re sign posts to show that is possible. Seeing @Mrs-D and @SueK put up big numbers makes me want to get to where they are. I really think it’s helped stop me from relapsing because I’ve often had that thought in my head that if I drink and start on 0 again I’ll be so far behind Lotta….. I mean I’m never gonna catch her up but the longer I stay sober the less significant the gap will be…… is it childish and petty to think that way? It’s like being competitive but I hope/think in a positive way. I too think LS is a little less personal than in the beginning…… I guess that’s just a natural part of progression though……. the news feed just churns over so quickly that I find it too daunting to read all the posts….. once I read someone’s struggles I find it difficult not to comment but there’s just so many that I feel I can’t keep up with it so I find myself not reading hardly any…. I was wondering if there may be a way to tweak LS……. keep the news feed but maybe make people’s personal pages a little more user friendly (atm they’re a little dis-jointed with snippets of conversations etc)….. that way I could log on for example, read the news feed, then check Prudence’s page, see how…[Read more]