• morgan posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 13 minutes ago

    Great post! That is a big bike ride. What time do you leave???? Traffic? City? I am trying to come to terms with a new 1/2 hour-In-traffic commute. Not happy – and $$$
    Too scared to bike though

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 15 minutes ago

    Hi and welcome! I hope your week is going ok? This is a great place to find support, so jump right in. You too @smitster – welcome!‼️💥🌷

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 20 minutes ago

    The best birthday present you could ever give yourself- saving your life and getting to the point those loyal wonderful sons will be trusting and proud.
    Stay close. We will be here for you.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 24 minutes ago

    Bloody hell what persistence – but not as much as you have.
    It is wonderful you can bring such relief and joy to your struggling clients. I am so glad they have you. ‼️‼️Xxxx😇😇😇❤️❤️❤️❤️🌻💐💐🌸🌺

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 29 minutes ago

    Yes, welcome, and hi @emjaycee, long time no see πŸ™ How are you?

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 20 hours, 45 minutes ago

    Hahahaha non violence hahahaha I was listening to a young know-it-all today. If only she simply made coffee rather than deal with really serious things happening in families …
    A big breakthrough with the aggro AND passive aggro creature I work with. She was given a talking to, we ended up together at a talk, and friendly! man, all the stops pulled out. Of course I lap it up with barely a REMEMBER! Never forget what she is capable of.
    For once in my career, I may have an effective leader (young!) who will deal with stuff … too good to be true, I had better watch out

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 20 hours, 50 minutes ago

    It sounds as if a whole lot of uneducated, incompetent, uncaring wollies try to run your outfit, and they do not have the first ABC of managing people.

    Please, please do not take anything to heart – well, it is worth exploring the perception that someone – WHO? – thought you were not easy to give feedback to – need absolute specifics, and the question remains, why the hell didn’t they tell you face to face before bleating higher up. God, I hate that stuff sooooooo much.

    Did she/he go over all your strengths and service? Ask you what your strengths were? Lead up to a query – or not – about whether the job was for you and your in depth perceptions about why/why not??

    If not please, please do your own meeting and highlight all your strengths, abilities, every last good thing you were pleased with – I am serious, a thorough meeting with yourself – hey, maybe write it up and send it to her, and keep for the next supervisor/appraisal. They will see all they missed and how brutal their system is.

    Tell us 10 of your work strengths if you have a moment.
    Just to start you: I think my number one is a developing quick rapport … (wont fully explain like you could be doing!);
    Number 2 – passion for my work, which is noticed by the families, who often express much appreciation, even if I have had to say and do really hard stuff with them – report them πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™
    Can you do it hon?

    • Morgan, this sup is a good person, but has a tendency to take herself far too seriously. The conversation came about because big something I wrote in an email. The same one in which I offered to resign.Her management , or at least her communication skills leaves a bit to be desired. At least her delivery, but then she might say the same about me. I’m still in the fence about resignation, Is do off of I had something else lined up. I am skilled at working with families in trouble. I am empathetic, understanding and I’m able to make a connection with them because of my own experiences. I see my role, more than anything, as a motivater. I think I’m very successful at that, and it where I derive most of my satisfaction. But she is right, I don’t like traveling to places I don’t know, with the idea I may have to sleep on the floor or in a bedbug ridden hotel. I also don’t enjoy having to answer to people that know little about me, and apparently don’t have much time or care, to want to know me. I have two more days in which to make my decision.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 2 minutes ago

    Oh lord, I didn’t realise you went back silly woman!!! but I know you would want to see out the term and say goodbye etc. I cannot believe I will be missing the pay increases – how fucking shit is that????!!!!! Hope you were a member – getting the 1500?

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 8 minutes ago

    Sounds like going to heaven – hey, maybe it is how it will be, but no sore legs

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 9 minutes ago

    Sounds very interesting and a special time. Mmmmm massage…so need, though my acupuncture yesterday actually left me feeling as good as a massage does, and soooo energised I was working until late. Slly really.
    Love lengthy πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 21 hours, 11 minutes ago

    Heck, 2 days have passed – hi lovely and I am sure chubby could never describe you!
    I now get no teaching holidays – a huge shock and horror after a long career loving every second of those breaks – (well maybe not the end of them when the cleaning and sorting STILL wasnt done – shame shame) – they have been a great gift in my life and I cannot believe they are over – for the time. Still looking for a counselling position in a school… hope

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 2 days, 8 hours ago

    Goodness, all the things happening around you – gratitude causing for sure. XXX hope the week goes ok

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 3 days, 5 hours ago

    Ha, that’s good. I think I deleted at the first mention of registration!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 3 days, 18 hours ago

    Hot I could not do! And I understand your thing about short holidays, not going on and on. I don’t like touristing, would so rather live somewhere or do something useful in a place for a time

    • Glad you are feeling good about what you enjoy doing and what you don’t. Nice to have clarity. Xx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 4 days, 20 hours ago

    XXXXXX thank goodness you have good advisors xxxx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 4 days, 20 hours ago

    Heck. Bother. take care xxx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    Fabulous post/ posts XXXXX love to hear all these good things XXXX

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    XXXXX even though I should be able to believe it, given my work, I can’t. Fucking shit indeed
    Heaps of love

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    Hi lovely you, so happy to see you. To hell with the failure vibe – you know the drill, this time, yes? No matter what happens though, don’t leave us! Keep posting and we will try to be encouraging XXXXX

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    Sounds lovely indeed – what with you and @Prudence telling such wonderful stories, I am getting decidedly dissatisfied. Oh dear…

    • Hi @morgan. Please don’t be dissatisfied. Today surrounded by languages I don’t understand and signs I can’t read in Hungary and away from my family, I’m feeling rather lonely. Travel is great but it’s hard yakker when it’s longer than the usual 2 weeks vacation. My man loves travel and could easily stay away for 4 months but I get homesick after 4 weeks. I tend to try and push thru the middle month and then get happy when there is only a month to go. Plan a short change in scene and you’ll be happy with that I’m sure. Xx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    A great analysis of a complex situation -series of situations. Emigrating is never a simple matter – I have been very close to several immigrants, still am to some of them, and it is heart rending to be near their dilemmas at times. I know I could not manage it, and I pray my children will not even try (how selfish is that?!!!)
    In the end, where you live will matter so much less than how you live, and love – that sounds like a quote from someone important hahaha
    You do have a remarkable mind young woman – so clear, and such energy to express all these things. I feel clear until I read your posts, then i think I live in a dense fog; a tired fog, just creeping along, barely managing…

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    Hi ! Hope you like it here. How has your week been?

    • Thanks, @morgan. Day 55 here. Going well, but it occurred to me earlier this week that I need to do more to help support my sobriety. Temptations are all around and, although rational me knows that a drink isn’t worth it, I can forget @whynot drinking is a better idea.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    Perfect perfect perfect. Thank you for the deep wisdom, that will stay with me.
    How is your BIG job??? Maybe tell us on messenger. THinking of you – when there is a moment in my frazzled brain

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    Try today darling πŸ™‚

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 20 hours ago

    Thanks so much for all the work @danthedev – you must be a genius to sort all this so quickly. It is brilliant today – love it

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Where have you been? What have I missed? Do I need to check out your recent posts? I have been rushing and missing a lot πŸ™
    Lovely to see you back

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    I wonder if the injuries go up or down after the shots???!!!
    Art retreat sounds very exciting indeed. A full report would be much appreciated please. I was going to puppet making over a few weekends, but life is just too pressured, have to take care with new job that is very challenging for me.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Highly inflammatory hence the big cancer, dementia and god knows what else risk. For some, the damage is long term and diet change is also needed to reduce symptoms – no sugar! high healthy fats and low carb is also often transformative – check out keto.
    Age is not our friend though πŸ™ but I have had no back trouble since being A/F, though way more yoga so that is a big help. Do you have a high carb diet @getclear? Sugar?
    Of course it could be viral too …

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    It will be positive no matter what the outcome person-wise, as you will be in command of your thoughts, able to observe yourself, and the date, and consider each aspect. I still get nervous as hell when seeing my (long distance) partner – takes days to settle down to half nervousness, and I really see the role alcohol played, made everything so much easier, BUT now it is way better, in a very different way. Never going back. (nearly 5 years πŸ™‚ )
    Hey, it will be over right? How was it?

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    All that rushing an organising is a definite trigger. Our lives as working parents are crazy. I hope you have a cleaner? And…??? If possible spend all you are able on help. I think that would have really helped me, but mainly solo and even before that, husband was so compromised mentally that he struggled to do anything at home. I really son’t know how I did it, (love for the children was the wonder energy giver πŸ™‚ ) but wish so much I had not relied on wine so often – as Anne Dowsett-Johnston names it, the modern woman’s steroid.
    Happy summer. Breathe!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    Oh dear, me too – sugar, have resisted so easily whilst on keto, but the winter, exhaustion, a nasty bully at work – resolve fades away.
    Back to planning. A lovely keto treat with me today, so hopefully avoid all the temptations of colleagues baking wonderful Friday morning teas. Crazy habit in some workplaces. Reveals our culture of bad fatty sugar laden highly processed carbs uggghhh, but love πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 days, 6 hours ago

    I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Unimaginably sad and distressing . It is beautiful to think of you honouring her memory by respecting your body and life. Xxx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    Oh sorry, I did not want to deluge you with complaints that others or you had mentioned. Incoherent in the morning😒🙄😴🤐

    • It’s ok 🤗 how could you have known. I’m going to try and make better use of the support page so we don’t dilute the value of the main feed with techie posts

  • morgan posted an update 6 days, 21 hours ago

    I hope it is the site and not just my computer??? I searched for mentions @danthedev – it is a pain at present – oh, see you @Ro and @Daveh

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 days, 21 hours ago

    You sound determined to stop the nightmare, so you will. Some good plans are required, and if drinking all day, do you think a supported detox would be safer? It is a dangerous business if your body goes into shock without it, and even if not, a support person or 3, by your side could make all the difference.
    Is your job really stressful? can you take a break?
    Best wishes and keep posting! We will cheer you on every step of the way, every bit you cut down if you do it slowly.

    • I am Morgan. I had to watch my beautiful daughter die last year after battling cancer for 5 years. I know she would not want me to waste the valuable years I may left. She was so short changed, I owe it to her and my other children to respect my body and life. I am lucky I haven’t had more complications given my habits and high stress. I don’t want to leave it to chance anymore

      • I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Unimaginably sad and distressing . It is beautiful to think of you honouring her memory by respecting your body and life. Xxx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    That is serious. Seriously horrible. Heck … My boss said a few of the groups doing our job in other areas have fallen out. One so badly they all quit. It is truly unbelievable as we are supposedly helpers, healers, like WTF????!!!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    I hoped to ignore, but I am feeling quite unnerved and not wanting to be anywhere near her, especially alone, so I will ask my boss to do something. Trouble is, she is a younger woman. She has seen this one in action for a few years, so may not want to take her on … At least she assured me I was acting well, and she could not fault my responses. She also surprised me by saying I am a strong woman. Like, wtf? I am a little mouse, a frightened deer. No, she said, quite strong. Mmmmm My friend whom I live with – with whom I live? said yes, quietly, powerfully strong. Insecure power mongers hate my type as we quietly believe in our ideas without needing to make a fuss. Just hold on. Food for thought

    • Lee@ replied 1 week ago

      Oh @morgan, this is very true. It winds them up more if they don’t succeed in getting a bad reaction from us. Don’t give in and eventually they explode regardless but we get to keep our clean slate. One of the many beauties of being sober!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Thank you – no, I’m sure she believes she has no problem. She is ‘RIGHT’ about everything. Obnoxious. Horrible, both aggro and passive aggressive. Slippery. I will not engage, but I think as my boss has seen her in action, I will ask her to act – the old nip it in the bud.
    Thanks for your comments on pump classes too. Life is speeding by and I am not keeping up πŸ™ I need to get my sessions in before another gym membership year begins. I am so slack on my own

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Eeeeck I read “got the sack” – thank goodness not
    Yes, we have no idea – thank god.
    Peaceful sleep

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    500 has a seriously cool ad, well, serious sound and look to it. As I always want to know, what has been your best strategy? set of strategies?

    • A mixture, I suppose. First, this time when I stopped drinking it was like a switch had flipped, having tried to stop/moderate before, just a sense that it was going to hold; reading everything about sobriety, the different sorts of experiences you have at different stages, support on here was and still is the best thing ever. I think also having a sense of gentle curiosity about myself, realising what mood, food, situation might prompt the thought about drinking, what was I actually looking for in that moment? what was I trying to escape from or ignore? I’ve slowed everything right down – was very career-focused and I’ve taken some time away from that. Yoga, exercise and swimming are tremendously therapeutic. Knowing that letting go, even of things that are bad for you, is still something that provokes grief before joy ! I also do a fair bit of volunteering, offering emotional support and postvention in youth settings after suicide, working with refugees and asylum seekers and I’m an activist politically too – all those things are immensely fulfilling as well as challenging.

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Hahaha, not me, Marc and Angel, but so glad your liked it. I need to do the same, not get all poor-me-lick-my-wounds ish. I have to see kids with REAL problems and work out how on earth to engage them. If only I was young and cool … πŸ™

  • morgan posted an update 1 week ago

    I was right about the colleague who can’t stand me @prudence– not that she has had a chance to get to know me. That in itself is scary as my experience has been, some people get off on bullying, and when looking for a victim to relish ripping up, guess who gets chosen???
    After being savaged several times yesterday, twice in private, but fortunately twice with onlookers-who-care, I really did get that GET ME TO WINE!!! feeling. And yes, it would have been bloody nice, at first. BUT … now we know better, right tribe ? πŸ™‚

    On the surface, I felt calm and even answered assertively twice (not usual or me as I go into freeze and niceness – definitely a Nice Girl @Mari135 ) but when the initial shock had worn off, I felt all the gut kicked sickness join up with past trauma … and the WHY? why why why me?

    Waking to reflect, the powerful thought is thank god I don’t drink. Never going back there. Even with my moderation carefulness, I would be feeling low, weak, a bit seedy, in danger of migraine, and the bully would have won.

    I need to focus on the vulnerable people we work with, not a vicious nasty, and be creative with those who don’t really want to work on their problems, or are not quite ready (lord, the pressure to succeed – strange job – short term ‘fix’ and get out, when faced with families who have deep and complex issues … what does one do @Enzedgirl?! It all depends on building trust – not a short term thing.)

    Right, moaning rant over, focus!
    Happy Wednesday – you can do it people, get determined!!!! You will never regret it

    • Annie replied 1 week ago

      Oh @morgan–I so hear you. i always seem to cop the bullys wherever I am but you are so right—stay determined and move foward. im trying to do exactly that after my partner of 9 years left me for someone else. I refuse to be the victum this time round. Thanks for your post.

    • k1W1 replied 1 week ago

      Ahh but why should they work on their problems? Maybe they dont think they have a problem. All we can do is make sure we have set our own boundaries. Good on you for being assertive in such a horrible situation.

      • Thank you – no, I’m sure she believes she has no problem. She is ‘RIGHT’ about everything. Obnoxious. Horrible, both aggro and passive aggressive. Slippery. I will not engage, but I think as my boss has seen her in action, I will ask her to act – the old nip it in the bud.
        Thanks for your comments on pump classes too. Life is speeding by and I am not keeping up πŸ™ I need to get my sessions in before another gym membership year begins. I am so slack on my own

    • I hear ya’ @Morgan. Ugh. What’s worse than a person who hates you at work for no reason? I had years of working with a bully. Fortunately he bullied others as well. Actually thinking back on it, he bullied the people I preferred so I guess it was a type of person he hated. He yelled at me one too many times and I repeated back to him exact words he had used to belittle me in front of others. That stopped him in his tracks. He actually took a breath in and said “that was inexcusable”. We tolerated each other after that. 20 years later he is now coming to our work reunions but I don’t go now because of him. People don’t understand why, they think I should leave it in the past. I think this man so traumatized me I never have to see him again. I can forgive him but I don’t have to see him. So I won’t. I get to see the same people at our monthly luncheons without him and that is more fun and far less stressful!

      • That is serious. Seriously horrible. Heck … My boss said a few of the groups doing our job in other areas have fallen out. One so badly they all quit. It is truly unbelievable as we are supposedly helpers, healers, like WTF????!!!

    • It is traumatizing to deal with toxic people at work. I had only one narcissist-abuser experience so far and that person tried “divide and conquer”. Learned from it. It sucked. I cried a ton. I pray it won’t happen again but might…they are out there, these people. I know it is easier said than done…but whenever possible may you be able to do the “like water off a duck’s back”… oxoxoxo
      You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, wherever you go.
      We are here if you need to vent.
      Keep being assertive-kind and this will pass. Like a kidney stone, but it passes.

      oxoxoxo

      • I hoped to ignore, but I am feeling quite unnerved and not wanting to be anywhere near her, especially alone, so I will ask my boss to do something. Trouble is, she is a younger woman. She has seen this one in action for a few years, so may not want to take her on … At least she assured me I was acting well, and she could not fault my responses. She also surprised me by saying I am a strong woman. Like, wtf? I am a little mouse, a frightened deer. No, she said, quite strong. Mmmmm My friend whom I live with – with whom I live? said yes, quietly, powerfully strong. Insecure power mongers hate my type as we quietly believe in our ideas without needing to make a fuss. Just hold on. Food for thought

        • Lee@ replied 1 week ago

          Oh @morgan, this is very true. It winds them up more if they don’t succeed in getting a bad reaction from us. Don’t give in and eventually they explode regardless but we get to keep our clean slate. One of the many beauties of being sober!

    • You know I have to agree with your friend and @Lee. Quiet, strong people who do what they know is the right thing to do just enrage others because it so unnerves them. She’ll continue to try and trip you up but others will also see that and admire you all the more. I wonder what would happen if you said you just want to do your job and if she has a problem with that then spit it out and clear the air. It could get worse or better. Some people just live with so much anger, or maybe hurt, they take it out on others who seem to be the kind of people they want to be.

    • Do the best you can with the time you’ve got Morgy. Hard job.

      PS fuck bullies.

      • Perfect perfect perfect. Thank you for the deep wisdom, that will stay with me.
        How is your BIG job??? Maybe tell us on messenger. THinking of you – when there is a moment in my frazzled brain

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    NOOOO! I was just thinking last night that this had not been mentioned for ages, @Mrs-d ?
    Did you tag anyone? hey will have it in email or notifications and can repost. Back to remembering to tag, save as go if long – or even if short and precious, as every post is XXX

    • I’ve seen posts that it has still been happening. A couple times to me as well. I should have copy/pasted!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You know how to do this, to work with your fears Etc Etc, but damn!!!!! So hard. You could check out the documentary Heal on Netflix. I found it interesting, not OTT , a calm look at alternative ways, within medical ones, to think about healing. Xxxxx sending all the strength I can muster, across the oceans xxxxx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You really are dealing with every stone unturned, with such courage and honesty. I wonder what the dream really means? I guess it could be that longing for the ‘normal’ life that you believe others have – and I guess some do… or do they? But at least being loved in those first 3 years, gold, pure gold. There must have been something good poured into you early though, or could you get to this profound understanding? Perhaps your mum was ok with babies?
    Anyway, you are moving through such a vast amount. I only hope you do not wait too long for that love who does want a child – if that is your desire…
    However, if you do not end up in that place, your beautiful and powerful energy will be poured into something, there is no doubt about that. XXXX

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You are truly inspirational. I really wanted to hear your thoughts about this, as I am so weirdly wimpy about doing new things, or even going to the beach, on my own. I love it once I am there, but the barriers are HUGE.
    I think I might have mini panic attacks in a crowed city with no language … It is so nice there are helpful people around. They probably think you are stylish and brave and love to help.
    Is the food expensive? I remember, 1000s of yrs ago, we were shocked by the prices and resorted to bread and cheese a bit. My ex ex did like to stay in far too expensive places though, so maybe that swallowed up the hard earned waitressing savings.
    Please keep all the details possible flowing – LOVE IT, drinking it in as I drown in paperwork and mundane meetings.XXXXXX

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Lovely! You too @Tom4500 – the best planning, the best results πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    How beautiful and fascinating it all sounds. How much more you will remember, and in vivid depth, because you are free from poisoning yourself nightly, daily.
    My saddest memory of travelling is not the wine, but being with the wrong person, twice around the world. Very sad to realise when young, that you have made a big mistake… we were totally out of synch, and I gave in to him, mostly. The times I did what I wanted were so exhilerating – cant spell in the morning….

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    I’m with you on the blah sense – only Tuesday and two more evening meetings this week, then weekend work – seems impossible. Nightmares of not managing kids, or boring boring detailed things to do … no philosophising though, no energy! My level of thought is trying to pack healthy snacks so I get through the last meeting of the day when I will be no doubt snapped at and put down by my new colleague. I must try to breathe and be calm, not say my pleady thoughts, “what have I ever done to you?” – in the brief weeks you have known me hahaha Past life??!!

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    the beautiful sleep will come soon, very likely. Energy can take a while for some though – I think the 200 day mark meant a difference for me. Before that I couldn’t understand how chirpy and alive others were feeling – running bloody marathons!
    I used to manage with wine – sugar energy? a kind of blind daze getting me through a ridiculously crazy workload and kids – but I had to sip very slowly and measure how much or the energy benefits would turn to illness – now I think I was allergic to the toxins therein! I guess we all are – poison. Poor bodies.
    Keep going. Read up on PAWS, may help.

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