• MJG posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    This is my story too @millie76. Thanks for sharing. You’ve got this.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    It just is! I’m so annoyed I can’t be like normies. Alcohol has such a huge impact on my life. Why do I have so many fails? I want this out of my life.. But I continue to drink. None of it makes any sense.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Yes back to drinking and you are so right, it’s not for me!

    • I read your profile, so familiar to my own and most of the others on here. Nope booze is not our friend. It’s just plain boring going through that daily torture. It’s easy to cry, Oh why me, why cant I be a normie? Well, we might as well say why was I born this century, why do I have blue eyes? It just is.

    • It just is! I’m so annoyed I can’t be like normies. Alcohol has such a huge impact on my life. Why do I have so many fails? I want this out of my life.. But I continue to drink. None of it makes any sense.

    • The more distance between you and alcohol the better you’ll feel. Its only alcohol, it doesn’t matter so much to normies. Make yourself comfortable, I’m making some chicken soup 🙂

  • MJG posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    Back to old tricks…. Too much for me on holiday then around family.., my timing is rubbish… I need to keep it very basic.. Up early and exploring, then early evenings so I’m fresh for the next day. On the other side of the world and same nonsense from me. No cravings at all just back into habits. New day soon..,

    • Hi MJG, by old tricks do you mean drinking? Damn that stinking stuff. Don’t waste energy beating yourself up, save your energy for the fight.

      • Yes back to drinking and you are so right, it’s not for me!

        • I read your profile, so familiar to my own and most of the others on here. Nope booze is not our friend. It’s just plain boring going through that daily torture. It’s easy to cry, Oh why me, why cant I be a normie? Well, we might as well say why was I born this century, why do I have blue eyes? It just is.

        • It just is! I’m so annoyed I can’t be like normies. Alcohol has such a huge impact on my life. Why do I have so many fails? I want this out of my life.. But I continue to drink. None of it makes any sense.

        • The more distance between you and alcohol the better you’ll feel. Its only alcohol, it doesn’t matter so much to normies. Make yourself comfortable, I’m making some chicken soup 🙂

    • I read your profile too @mjg. Have you read it lately? I think the answers to your question are right there in front of you. The way you describe your drinking is just like mine was. Lots of lost time and regrets are what I left behind. The fun was long gone when I quit drinking. You can do this.

  • MJG posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    Day 8! It’s been a hectic few days and we (me and hubby) are on holiday. Usually the drinking (heavier drinking) would’ve started the night before we left, celebrating the beginning of our holiday and then continued at the airport and on the plane. Well… I didn’t drink and the world didn’t stop. I’m even having a lovely time.

    Up early (not really early. I’m still feeling tired and headachy)and out exploring.

    We’ve been out for a couple of meals, to some cafe’s etc and I’ve happily sipped on delicious mocktails! I’ve talked to some lovely people (I get really anxious in social situations) and I get home at night knowing exactly what I’ve done for the day!!!

    I’ve got myself into a couple of tricky situations. A nice cafe/barman noticed I was drinking coffee while my husband was sampling craft beer and he insisted I try his coffee flavoured craft beer. Foolishly I smiled and said OK. (I don’t even like beer). So I quickly drank my coffee and had my lunch and hid in a shop while my husband tasted the coffee flavoured beer.

    I ordered an apple soda (thought it sounded lovely) and was given an apple cider, again I smiled said nothing and passed it to my husband.

    I am going to have to practice telling people I no longer drink , I also need to be more assertive. Being AF is completely new to me and it feels like every experience is a new one. I’m not covered in a haze of intoxication or hang over.

    I am still waking every morning reminding myself that today will be AF and although we don’t have fixed plans for our day, I know my day revolves around lovely meals and something that I really want to do (walk, listen to book, see a sight). It makes me feel like I’m not missing out just because I’m not drinking.

    • Wow. Day 8 is a big deal. Congratulations on your achievement so far. Double congratulations for doing it while on a holiday. I know you aren’t physically 100% yet due to the withdrawal, but I’ll bet your vacation memories will be clearer than previous trips.

      “I didn’t drink and the world didn’t stop” – I love your quote!

      Have a great rest of your trip. Your body is loving this (double) gift of a vacation plus a cleanse.

    • Wonderful on day 8. And absolutely fantastic that you are taking the alcoholic drinks that are being given to you in your stride and just letting your husband deal with them. (because we dont need that rubbish to drink). How lovely that you get to have no hangovers this holiday. xx

    • You’ll have time to practice being assertive I imagine @MJG, and meanwhile withdrawing from the situation sounds like it’s effective enough – by which I mean, you don’t have to learn too many new things all at once. You’re doing great and I hope you have a wonderful vacation. xx

    • Seems like you are acing this! Congratulations!!!!!!!!

    • Wow You r doing so well. Stay strong and enjoy your holiday keep busy and stay with us so we know how you are doing. Wonderful for you 8 Days!! 🙂

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks for sharing! I look forward to these days…

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks @Wildchild for your kind words. My profile makes me feel physically sick. A very real reminder why me and booze have had our day. Hope things go well when tell your friends, I’m sure they’ll be proud of you too!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks @Liberty

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    I look forward to that @MissMeg

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Yes I certainly thought drinking was relaxing (actually just easing my cravings I now realise). I’m not sure how I like to relax so it will be trial and error until I get into my groove. Thanks @Lizzy

    • I was the same @MJG I’ve been having a lot of baths, diffusing essential oils, and eating chocolate!!! 🙂 You will figure it out. X

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    75 days!!! Fantastic go you. I am clapping. Link works by the way!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks @enzedgirl!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks @janabel.. Aimless floating and will power isn’t going to work for me. Structured fun and relaxation is the key today.

  • MJG posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    Day 3.. No hangovers!! I managed to get through my first AF weekend in years. I’m feeling a little shaky (racing heart and tremors) and have an awful headache but these symptoms are no where near as bad as the hangover blues.

    Now to keep myself from falling into my old nightly routine of telling myself how hard I work (It’s not only internal dialogue I physically feel a knot in the back of my neck) and that I deserve to be able to relax with a bottle or two of wine! (What garbage!!!)

    Tonight I busied myself with yoga ( feels like such a treat) and a yummy meal. Tomorrow I work late, so I will buy some yummy AF drinks during the day (I shouldn’t go to the super market after 4pm for a while)make a scrummy meal for hubby and I then bed.

    Sorry to bore you with the mundane. I’m finding having a crystal clear vision of how my day will look helps. It takes the fear of wine o’clock away, by putting purpose into the hours that are usually robbed from me by drinking. Early days for me.

    • Thats exactly what you should do, visualize what you are going to do. Have a plan in your day. I do that as well, work, spa, dinner, read etc, it helps to have a routine, so you arent aimlessly floating around, thats also a part of self care, so you do the things that you want to do that make you happy. The headaches are quite common, i had them as well, not so much now. It does all get easier and making new habits is key. Well done on day 3. No hangover mornings are the best. xxx

      • Thanks @janabel.. Aimless floating and will power isn’t going to work for me. Structured fun and relaxation is the key today.

    • This is far from mundane @MJG this is the stuff of life change. Agree completely with what @janabel said.

    • Definitely not mundane @MJG it’s essential to have a plan. Sounds like you used wine to feel relaxed so maybe try and plan a few different things you can do to help with that. A soak in the bath, relaxing music, reading, exercise… whatever works for you. Congratulations on getting through the first weekend, it can feel very strange at first, but you already have the first one under your belt, and it will get easier. Xx

      • Yes I certainly thought drinking was relaxing (actually just easing my cravings I now realise). I’m not sure how I like to relax so it will be trial and error until I get into my groove. Thanks @Lizzy

        • I was the same @MJG I’ve been having a lot of baths, diffusing essential oils, and eating chocolate!!! 🙂 You will figure it out. X

    • Yes not mundane at all, well done on day 3 – the headaches are annoying/ but do go away x

    • Terrific work @MJG, you’re doing great.

    • Hi @MJG. I just read your profile and I could have written this word for word. Congratulations on your commitment to your health and future. I don’t know you but I feel proud of you. Keep posting.

      • Thanks @Wildchild for your kind words. My profile makes me feel physically sick. A very real reminder why me and booze have had our day. Hope things go well when tell your friends, I’m sure they’ll be proud of you too!

    • Well done on Day3! Having a plan is a good strategy.

    • Your first AF weekend–congratulations! Yes, having a plan is terrific. I have found that I’ve had to do things to disrupt old patterns associated with my drinking. A big one was that I had to change our dinner routines so that I wouldn’t find myself with a glass in my hand and a quickly diminishing bottle beside me while I stirred the pot. Changing habits surrounding the drinking and so avoiding triggers really helps. You are doing it, and already reaping the rewards. More AF days and hangover-free mornings to come–something to celebrate in a healthy, AF way!

      • Yes – changing habits or pattern changing is very important. I remember hearing a colleague telling me that it takes about 3 weeks for your brain to remember a new pattern as it goes farther into your long-term memory banks. Writing goals down too is important for me. And being as specific as possible. “I will find one new thing to do this week for self-care,” is a good idea, but if you stated “I will go to one yoga class on Tuesday at 6 (or fill in the blank) ” it will help you define self-care better! At least this helps for me 🙂

    • Well done you. One thing my addiction phsychologist kept saying to me was not to expect those new things to feel as good as wine in the short term. They just won’t. And if we expect them to be it can give us an excuse (like we really need one!) to have a drink. Getting into a new groove can take a long time so aim for these new things to feel just ‘OK’ and over time they will start to feel great.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Me too MrsS. Good luck, I’ll look out for your posts!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Me too! Keep it up..

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Wow 680! That’s fantastic @pearl.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Read it! It is very helpful and exactly how I am feeling. Thanks

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    There are so many things I used to enjoy… I look forward to discovering them again!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    This is very helpful! I am only day 2 and feel very anxious, nauseous and have a headache. I also want to burst into tears.. I don’t want to drink though. 100 days that’s fantastic!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Yes I think you are right @morgan I will need to be very organised. I’ve never done that before and just fell back into drinking.

  • MJG posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    Good morning, gorgeous day here in CHCH. No hanger over! Still feeling very raw and sad
    (grieving almost WTF). Today I am off cycling and will again stock the fridge with delicious treats to get me through the witching hour. I am going to have to be super organised with my time any spare minutes I know I’ll think of the drink. Thanks so much for all the kind words yesterday. I can do this.

    • Sounds like a wonderful plan. The good planners seem to do very well here – a prerequisite to gaining freedom I think.
      I hope you report back on the ride and on all the treats. It will be a raw time, a lot changes, and it is very challenging even for those of us who were pretty strict moderators.
      Hang on in. Moan all you like, we are here xxx

      • Yes I think you are right @morgan I will need to be very organised. I’ve never done that before and just fell back into drinking.

    • @MJG sounds like you’re well prepared for the day! Nothing like a gorgeous winter’s day in NZ to lift the spirits. Magic.

    • It might be time to get a new hobby going, or pick up one you used to enjoy, just to give you a good distraction… preferably one that requires two hands so you’re not reaching for a glass. Crochet did it for me!

    • Hi @MJG. Your plan sound solid. Visit here as often as you need and/or want. The stories are great motivation and reminder of of why we are here and why we are doing this, the rewards are epic although the journey can be tough. Be gentle with yourself (and kind) and don’t think too far ahead xx

    • Yes, thats key. Having a plan. Be aware of whats going on in your head. Distract and delay. Always play it forward. One drink is never one drink, but you know that. Hooray for you to not have a hangover, that never gets old. I found reading many types of alcohol blogs and books helped me as well. Sue is right, i got into adult colouring books (mandalas)!! Keeps the hands busy. xxx

    • you *can* do it @MJG go you!

    • You def can! Keep going and believe in yourself. Read Mrs. D’s essay on Grief I found it very insightful. I have felt that way also.

    • I agree with @morgan about planning. We drink for so many years it’s just what our brain automatically defaults to. So plan plan plan. Good food, don’t let your tummy get empty, stay hydrated and stay close on here. Remember that the cravings do pass, but hangovers last way longer and you don’t feel proud at the end of those! You can do this xo

  • MJG‘s profile was updated 3 years, 1 month ago

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Booze gone… Thanks

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Off to get sober drinks and snacks now. I have cut and pasted my post, it’s a good reminder of why I am doing this. Thanks so much for the support.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    No moderation for me either I’m afraid. My brain doesn’t know the meaning of it. Thank you

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thank you

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 1 month ago

    Thank you. Thinking about the future is way too much at the moment. One day at a time seems a bit much to be honest. I feel like I have no choice now but to do this. My first sober night in a long while. Thanks again

  • MJG posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    After many years of half arsed attempts to stop drinking. I am so sick of constantly being hung over. Telling myself every morning I won’t drink tonight, then 4 pm comes around and I can’t wait to stop at the bottle shop on the way home so I can have ‘just a couple of glasses.’ Never in my life have I ever just had a couple of glasses. It is drink every drop of alcohol in the house or nothing.

    If I have a few days off the booze, I tell myself I don’t have a problem and celebrate with a couple of bottles of wine.

    I don’t know myself anymore. I am constantly tired, angry and feeling like crap. I don’t feel anything anymore. No caring, no compassion, no fun.. I am going from hangover to cravings to drinking to passing out. This is not living.

    When I drink I verbally abuse my poor husband, I greedily watch the wine going down and get annoyed when it runs out. I am obnoxious and angry now when I drink. All the fun, laughs and dancing have well and truly gone.

    I don’t even bother to go out and drink anymore. All my drinking is done at home often on my own.

    How has my life become like this.

    I could really do with some advice/resources. I have had multiple failed attempts to stop. I have done counselling which I would get smashed after. I love this site and am amazed at how honest everyone is. Get ready for daily posts from me I’m not sure how else I’m going to get out of this black pit I’ve created.

    • Post as often as you need. Xx

    • You are so brave and I am sure your story totally resonates with many here. It certainly does with me.
      I don’t know if this is helpful but in my early days I think like this: today I’m not going to drink. I am not going to drink today. And I plan for it. One. Day. At. A. Time. If I look too far ahead it’s too big and too scary… then one day it doesn’t seem so scary or so big when you look at how far you’ve come and how enjoyable life on the sober side is.
      Good luck, you can do this, believe in yourself, even if its just for today, each day is a huge victory x

      • Thank you. Thinking about the future is way too much at the moment. One day at a time seems a bit much to be honest. I feel like I have no choice now but to do this. My first sober night in a long while. Thanks again

    • Day one is so very hard, keep going even if its hour by hour. Keep posting here, reading sober blogs, listening to podcasts or walking outside in the sunshine. Take care, and come back often.

    • I don’t know where you are based. I’m in Auckland, NZ, and I finally got the help I needed from CADS, who supported me through an ‘at home’ detox after I went to the walk-in detox clinic in Point Chev. They were a life saver for me. First time I stopped drinking was with a ‘3 month sober’ goal followed by moderated drinking. Hmmmm turns out I’m not good at moderate drinking. Second detox is with a longer term (forever?) goal in mind.

      • No moderation for me either I’m afraid. My brain doesn’t know the meaning of it. Thank you

    • You sound very much like i used to be. You can do this you know. You just have to dig deep and have a plan of action….Get rid of the booze in the house. Buy lots of sober drinks, snacks. Keep busy and pop on here when any cravings hit you. Keep ignoring that voice that says you can have one or two (you cant). Keep visualizing going to bed sober and waking hangover free, play it forward (you know how one or two ends!). Read. Jason Vale, Alan Carr and Mrs d are great. Each day gets easier (i am not fibbing), Keep focused on being sober. Get angry at alcohol, its making you feel like crap and making you not the person you want to be. (i was a complete shrew when i drank). Be nice to yourself, reward yourself with some treats. x

      • Wow MJG, you are singing my song, your honesty brought me to tears. Your amazing for asking for help, I truly understand how hard that is. Keep posting & checking in, the ppl on this site are inspiring, generous with their advice & tips. Thank you for posting xx

        • Gosh, me too. I’ve saved this post because it’s as if I wrote it myself! MJG I wonder if you might cut and paste what you’ve written and put it up as your profile. Then it is there to remind you when you come back here. I also used to drink after counselling! We need counselling for our counselling!

      • Off to get sober drinks and snacks now. I have cut and pasted my post, it’s a good reminder of why I am doing this. Thanks so much for the support.

    • *singing* welcome to my world (totally off key)
      I was exactly were you are not that long ago.
      I just decided that the life I was living wasn’t really who I wanted to be anymore , I wasn’t being honest with myself and I decided to stop drinking.
      This place is full of all the support you need plus the sober tool box is great.
      Empty the house of booze , don’t buy any more and see what happens! You may be surprised with what happens xx

    • @MJG thanks for your really honest account of your drinking and the impact it has on your life. You absolutely can do this, and it sounds like you have reached that place where you want to. You need a plan, and maybe even professional help with this. Don’t hesitate to seek help – it’s out there, you just have to go get it. Print out your post, or at least save it so you can refer to it over and over again, so you keep in the front of your mind why you want to stop. All the best – it is so worth it.

    • So glad you are here and talking …. Yep many can identify with what you say. It’s so easy after a few days to convince oneself a few wines is ok etc and on it goes. look forward to your check ins
      .

    • daily posts sounds like a great plan @MJG 🙂

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Stay strong!! Have something planned to do… Walk, movie, book….. I like to sort and tidy..

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Well done day 12. I am only at Day 2 but will be taking some of this advice for my Friday and Saturday nights. Something special…..

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    6 months well done!! Have a fab day.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Well done for being honest. Day 1 again for me too. We can do this!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Hi Tracy R, Yes I am OK. I hope things have settled down for you!! I haven’t been on the site for a couple of weeks.

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Hi TracyR, I am sorry you had such a tough day yesterday!! I’ve done most of my drinking alone and thought I could stop alone !! How wrong was I! This is a great website for support! Yep lets buddy up. We can do this! Take care

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Good luck!! look forward to hearing how it goes!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Too true rise2015. Better day today!! Thanks

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Welcome and good luck!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Oh yes manky cigarettes here too!! Back on the wagon now and feel very encouraged by the honest and positive support! Thanks

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    thanks @missober! You’re right!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Hi TracyR. Not great today. Drank a bottle of wine last night. Back to day 1. feeling like crap. You?

    • Hi @MJG don’t beat yourself up. Check out yesterday’s feed and you’ll see that I had a HUGE meltdown yesterday 🙁 The only thing I did right, was to get on the site and reach out. I had such a wonderful kind response from folk that I managed to snap out of it. If it weren’t for the help I got here I too would be on day one. Today’s another day, keep in touch, we started this journey together, let’s buddy-up and support each other 🙂 x

  • MJG posted an update 3 years, 9 months ago

    Day 1 again!! Really angry with myself, hungover and feel like such a failure…I just want to stop.. I am sick of feeling like rubbish. I am sick of worrying people will smell alcohol on me. Day 1 again!! I can do this.

    • At least your on the right path and want to stop. Just get back on the wagon, it’s ok 🙂

    • Keep trying. The best way to avoid people smelling alcohol on you is to not drink. Funny that isn’t it – if only it were as simple as it sounded!! I always worried about that too and often felt like I was probably wrapped in a vapour of fumes. You can do this, starting again today.

    • @MJG don’t be to hard on yourself. It happens to the best of us. Remember how you feel now and maybe use that as a deterrent to not drink in the future. The thing is, we can’t change what has happened but we can learn from it. Hang in there and try try try again! You can do it. It’s tough but it’s possible!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Thank you Jessi

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Thanks MissPiggy!

  • MJG posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Good luck to you too!!

  • MJG became a registered member 3 years, 9 months ago