Hello everyone , day 492 and have been feeling really tired lately . Thoughts of drinking bla bla bla . Even said to myself , yep i am gonna start again . A big blah about AA lately , dogmatism and all that jazz but i do love the fraternity . Sorry for such a negative post but there it is : blah .
I’m right behind you @MissFreedom, so let’s figure this out! I get blah. Now, whatever is behind the “maybe I’ll drink again” thinking? Temporary insanity? Tell that voice to piss off. Did drinking cure blah for you? It numbs it temporarily but then it wears off and there you are again, right back to blah but feeling worse about yourself. And then the cycle begins. Work on turning that thinking around and let go of some of AA’s dogma. Is there a less AA staunch person you can fellowship with? xo
Even if you are doubting AA, please don’t confuse that with your choice to be alcohol free, i used to do that in the early days, submerge myself in some recovery system and when i found any fault, or something i didnt like, i woukd throw the towel in and start drinking again! really it was an excuse to start again, but at the time i couldn’t see that.
@MissFreedom I think you need to plan something really special for your 500 days. That is an amazing milestone! Its not blah blah. You should really push the waka out for that day. TREAT YOURSELF, YOU DESERVE IT. Tell us what you are going to do, I’d love to know!
@teazy You know what ? Yeah . Because ever since i told myself and my partner a week ago i would drink again , strangely i have been wincing just thinking of actually having that first glass . And obviously , not drinking . Something inside ( my guts ) knows . I really appreciate your comment , thanks xx
@Miss Freedom, If you begin to drink again, that name that you’ve chosen will no longer suit you until you decide to stop again. AA certainly gives me the raw ass occasionally, did so just recently but what I have to realize is that all of those people are experiencing the same trials and tribulations as I and are no better or worse off at any given moment. Most importantly, we do what we do to save ourselves. I get it though, just breathe for now. Besides, was drinking an answer the last time?
Everything in moderation right? Even meetings for me. Most of the work I do is outside of the rooms anyway. I still need to go though. I don’t know many sober people apart from there, if any. Nearly all of my family and friends were/are hard core drinkers. I’ve had to claw my way out. AA has been good for me. There’s always going to be a few asshole in a large group of people. It’s one of the more unfortunate laws of nature
Blah happens for sure whether in AA or not. Just put one foot in front of the other and don’t drink so you can see what happens next! 🙂 I know what will happen if I drink and it will NOT be a good thing. I want to see what happens when we do not. Hang in there!!