• Day 455 . Am away from the big city for a funeral . Much wine being drank . I felt fine , actually more than fine , i felt free. I am more in the state of what would alcohol add to this precious moment of celebrating the life of a dear man ?
    For me , nothing .
    Clear headed this morning and really there to support my sister in law .
    Have a great sober day . xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 day, 19 hours ago

    This will definitly pass , hang in there , good feelings awaits xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 5 days, 4 hours ago

    @sober4real , @mari135 , @jocord ……
    I did it and it went pretty damn well ….
    One woman came to me and was really touched and moved and could recognize herself in my story . I talked a lot about recovery . I am happy if i helped someone with my words . Thanks for your support xxx

  • Ok ….ouf . Posting to calm my nerves as i am about to speak in front of 50 residents at my rehab center . Now my heart is beating fast my face is beet red and i am thinkinhg why oh why did i say yes to speak in front of people when i am a shy one , suffered from social anxiety all my life . This too shall pass right ? They said give back . ok . Ouf.

  • Evening 450 . Nice number . In bed sober at 7h18 pm haha . Youhouhou ! Tomorrow night going to my rehab center to share my story with residents , to think i was there 15 months ago , amazing . So much has happened to me inside . It seems so long ago . To become sober stays my best decision ever . On that bonne nuit and to all the people starting on this journey , i salute you , you are the brave ones .

    • How lovely you are going to go and inspire people to embrace sobriety. 450 is a nice number

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Walking through these illusions , very well said . xx

  • Evening 448 . Went out last night on a sunday night youhou ! Saw a great show , drinking diet coke . I am usually in bed at 8 pm so i felt very wild . But also sleepy haha . Anyway had a great time and love being super present to absorb every note of that great concert .
    Bonne nuit .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    😎 ❤

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    I ‘ m with you .

  • Day 444 .
    Well this has been a strange emotional day . Started great , beautiful weather , lots of good work gardening , planting annuals like crazy yet having fun . Love my job . Then got home , made dinner in my work clothes , realised i forgot my glasses at work so have to be wearing my prescribed sunglasses instead , boyfriend got home , boyfriend not nice , actually kind of rude annoying and aggressive behaviour and remarks and attitude , i stayed calm but felt very hurt . This is not who i am . When someone antagonize me . I react . But i stayed calm . This is definitly a moment i would usually drink . BEFORE . Because not only am i hurt but i am ANGRY with capital letters and i fantasized
    trowing a big FUCK OFF ( excuse my french ) in my boyfriend ‘s face by pouring gin down my throat ! Bette Davis style .

    Well now i’ m in bed , 444 days sober with my sunglasses on and i will fall assleep after removing my sunglasses and tomorrow is another day .

    • I’m glad you’re in bed, Bette Davis! I also would “punish” others by getting drinking. That’ll show ’em! Tomorrow is a new day, sweet dreams!

    • @missfreedom hang in there. No one could do that to me like a significant other. Glad you got your Bette Davis eyes in bed girl!

    • I’m glad you didn’t punish yourself with gin…444 days is amazing. Good job!

    • Brave girl you did all the right stuff for YOU. Tomorrow is another day and you will still be fabulous!!!❤️

    • Well done! 🌸❤️💥✨
      But does boyfriend need to be sent packing? It is no good if you are treated badly – must not happen xxx

    • Wise thinking! Sounds like Betty just needed some rest! 444, what a great number!

    • Good morning MissFreedom. Yours is the first post I’m reading this morning. I’m sorry your BF was being such a prick, but the visual of you and the sunglasses really made me smile. Congrats on such a monumental number – and for showing that prick by NOT drinking – Betty Davis style. Have a great day!

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    welcome @patish

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    I am here rooting for you @rineylou , this is the best decision of your life believe me and believe in you . xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Hey @kitten . There is something mysterious and marvelous about being sober don’ t you feel ? Hard to put into words . I still get mad / sad / upset etc but it is all on another level . Like i am tuned on to another channel . Très interesting indeed haha . Wishing you a nice evening xxx

  • Evening 443 in Montreal .
    The thought of alcohol yesterday made me feel nauseous .
    I felt happy about that and surprised .
    I then thought how normal since it made me so unhappy .
    Anyway , life is good sober . Going along fine on this discovery journey . Going to host talks at my rehab center .
    Giving back is the way for me to go .
    I feel i am just in the right place inside .
    Bonne nuit xxx

    • good to hear from you @missfreedom. “i feel i am just in the right place inside.” wow. sounds like a good spot to be on this journey.

      • Hey @kitten . There is something mysterious and marvelous about being sober don’ t you feel ? Hard to put into words . I still get mad / sad / upset etc but it is all on another level . Like i am tuned on to another channel . Très interesting indeed haha . Wishing you a nice evening xxx

    • 443 and so much safety and health you invited into your life with this decision to stay sober. Way to go!!! oxoxoxo

    • Lovely!

  • Good morning .
    Waking up to day 435 . But really it is always day one . It just is day one adds up to day 435 .
    It gets easier but i must always be aware of that voice that will try desperatly to trick me back to that first sip .
    We all know that voice .
    Vigilance always my friends .
    Take care and let’s stay sober together just for today .
    xxx

    • ❤️❤️❤️

    • 435…..man…..that fun 444 is coming up soon!
      Thank you also for the reminder regarding vigilance….very timely. Tom posted something about that yesterday as well. It would only take me one drink to go back to where I was. Most days I trust myself…but not all days and all of the time….Eyes on the horizon.

      oxoxxo

    • I’m with you!

    • I hate that voice @missfreedom! Im staying sober with u today!💗💗💗

    • Thanks for that reminder about the voice that tries to trick you, I sure know it well. Me and that voice are having some disagreements about my next steps right now. And you are also right about remaining vigilant, today is a good day to remain sober.

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Fantastique . Yes i agree and feel the same , it is as if i came back from god knows where and found myself again .

  • Day 431 .
    Exhausted from all that shoveling of compost . ( I am a gardener ) But good exhausted . I felt very insecure and emotional this week because i have very bad pms every month and that is when i would usually calm my tension with a big drinking session .
    So i was INSECURE .
    Yet , i did not think to myself : drinking will be a good idea .
    I just felt really wimpy and hated every minutes of it for dayyyyyys .
    But i did not drink .
    Actually the idea did not cross my mind , i just thought i HATE feeling this way but i know it will pass.
    That’s it . C’est tout .
    O.k now going to bed even though only 7h12 pm here .
    Bye . xxx

    • I hear you MissFreedom. The other night I was standing in the kitchen with my partner and I told him, as he was updating me on his day… “I just feel really flaky at the moment” (inside I was actually on the verge of tears). He asked me what I meant by that and was it because I felt like a drink. I said “I don’t want to drink, I don’t even feel like a drink tonight – it’s the last thing I would want (strangely) , I just feel like I’m coming apart – that I can’t quite hold myself together.” 🙁
      The next day I felt better. And Yesterday I felt EVEN better, but then all last night I had nightmare after nightmare in my sleep. One of my nightmares was that I had hit the drink again and done all of these awful things and made my family so upset and angry with me, but that I couldn’t remember what I’d said or done. Woken all confused and was in real emotional pain. Then I woke up for REAL – thank heavens! But, this is the thing – I woke up physically so groggy it was like an actual hangover. So today, I’m not feeling as good as yesterday but I am feeling quiet and real and very grateful that my nightmare was just that – a dream. Thankful that I’ve gone 6 days without that nightmare of drunkeness being my daily experience. I hope you have a better day today MissFreedom x 🙂

      • A huge amount is happening in your sub and/or unconscious – it may not be comfortable, but it means change. This is deep I believe!

    • Do you take anything for PMS? I suffered endlessly,,half each month not good, but evening primrose oil, exercise, and B vitamins helped with the sanity and some physical symptoms. Now my daughters Dr says it is all unnecessary – go on the pill and miss periods. I can hardly bear to think about it after the hell I went through. If only. I guess I had better try to simply be happy she doesn’t have to. ( It took a woman Dr to reassure her it was fine. The male ones thought it better to have periods. )

    • Ha we’re in synch on opposite side of the planet @miss freedom. PMS sucks ?. Exercise is the key for me, and sunlight. So your job sounds perfect!! Also I just ease up on myself in that week/ weeks. Eat what I want to eat, allow myself to do less when possible, take ALL my feelings with a grain of salt. @morgan the pill isn’t an option for me due to migraines. Stink. But working well for my daughters. I heard a really interesting interview with a UK doctor a few weeks ago saying that women have too many periods these days, as previously we were either pregnant, breast feeding or dead. They think this could lead to a few of the gynae problems we see these days. Anyway she was all for the pill and no breaks to allow bleeding. Interesting!!! I really hope you feel better soon @missfreedom. The good thing about this situation is that it will definitely pass!

      • Oh sad! Migraine may cease without drinking and if you take magnesium. Menstruation may be far better without inflammatory alcohol too! I had wine, a little but stupid, to get me through the misery… oh dear

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    You are back and know that we have all been fooled like you by the booze . You are here and that is all that matters . Stay close to us . xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    It NEVER gets old .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    My last drinking session left me hitting my head hard on concrete , vomit in my sleep , yes i could of choked to death . These are close calls . Drinking for us is like playing russian roulette .
    One day at a time . Never forget why you stopped and gather ALL the tools to stay sober . Oh yeah and drink water . xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    So so so much better without booze .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    Post away !!! I posted everyday for soooo long . This is a great tool for you to stay connected to your sobriety , i am rooting for you , you go girl !!!!

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    At the beginning i found it hard to have a partner that drinks and smokes pot . And not too long ago too . But i don’t know what happened , i just don’ t care anymore because i look at him drink and smoke and i think : what’ s the use ? …. really what is the use .
    I don’ t want anything in my brain and body to be disminished or altered , i just don’ t want that feeling . So i let him be .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    It’ s great , isn’ t it , i absolutly love it .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Getting a massage , going to see a movie , museum , art gallery , restaurant for lunch , reading , hot baths , eating chocolate , yoga , writing and sleeping and being proud of yourself . xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Congrats on day 13 , you are doing this ,it is not always easy not to drink but life it is so much easier without drinking . Easier and so much more fullfilling . xx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Sober fun , really there , love it and congrats xxx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Marvelous and baklavas !!!!! xxx

    • the baklava was from a greek festival and was absolutely delish!!!

  • MissFreedom posted an update 1 month ago

    Yesterday marked my 14th month sober .
    I truely never felt this calm , peaceful and connected .
    Maybe it is the hope that spring brings with all the beautiful greens and birds, maybe it is working hard physically outside in nature , maybe it is because i see my painting’ s evolution .
    And maybe it is because i am sober and happy sober , contented .
    I see now the difference between not drinking and being a recovering alcoholic .
    That time in my thirties when i stopped all by myself for a year and a half , i had stopped drinking but i was not in recovery .
    I feel a big difference . Actually a huge difference .
    As some of you know i attend AA meetings , i shared last friday and it just opened something insde of me , my heart ?, it got me even more connected to others like me .
    I was asked to speak at my rehab center in june for the people doing their therapy and i said yes .
    I was asked to speak at the big meeting in july in front of 150 people and i said yes .
    The thing now is that i want to help others as others have helped me . I need to give back .
    And you know what ? I feel humbled and happy and serene and i haven’ t ever felt that way when i was drinking .
    Bonne soirée.
    xxx

  • MissFreedom posted an update 1 month ago

    Life is short so short and i have spent about 21 years being obsessed about alcohol .
    It’ s amazing to now be sober and finally become who i was always underneath all those drunken moments that only brought me down .
    Just to be .
    This is truely freedom and peace i feel .
    I feel fullfilled . I am no longer letting my self down .
    I stay on this sober road because even though i will walk in the forest all my life i am now walking in the clearing .
    The more sober i am , the more full i feel . I feel nourished when before i felt famished . Nothing could fill me up until i stopped drinking .
    This is day 424 and one day at a time just adds up in building this incredibly better life .
    Have a nice evening .
    xxxx

    • I love this! Congrats on uncovering who you are. I’m with you. It’s a much better life and so much more fulfilling.

    • Thanks for sharing I needed that 😀

    • Beautiful post! I love the forest 🙂 keep enjoying the journey xx

    • JM replied 1 month ago

      Oh that’s great @MissFreedom and I can relate. I remember feeling so empty, and it’s really crazy thinking we could fill ourselves up by drinking toxins. I love how happy you sound! : )

  • MissFreedom posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 423 .
    My recovery is going well . I rarely think of drinking . My anxiety is gone . I sleep like a baby . And i am working hard to stay in the present moment and let go .
    Peace of mind is absolutly my favorite gift that comes with sobriety .
    Have a great , fullfilling and peaceful day .
    xxx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    35 . So young . Bonne fête ! xxx

    • Thank you!!! oxoxox Definitely feels better than 25. I am pretty sure I got hammered and drunk-slept with a guy I barely knew ten years ago. I don’t want to go back to my 20’s. oxoxxoxo

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Love a day one .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Same .

  • MissFreedom posted an update 1 month ago

    Hello sober warrior friends .
    Just a quick ” coucou ” . I am amazed at all the positive feedback i am getting from members since i shared my story at an aa meeting .
    I broke the ice and now want to share more .
    I feel i am part of something good , sane and fullfilling and it feels good .
    Have a nice evening .
    xxx

    • Hi @missfreedom You say something incredibly important here which is to do with “recovery” as opposed to stopping drinking. You say “I broke the ice and now want to share more. I feel i am part of something good, sane and fullfilling and it feels good.”

      Stopping drinking is the first step, but it is not the end goal. The outcome we are striving for isn’t abstinence, it is wellness. We don’t just want to stop drinking, we want things to be right again. One of the things that took a complete hammering during our drinking is our self-image (aka self-esteem). We don’t have a direct way to measure our self-image but it is made up of four things we CAN assess; how lovaeable we think we are, how capable we think we are, how valued we think we are and how worthy we think we are. Together these make up how satisfied we feel about ourselves and our place in the world. When we do things to help other people then how “worthy” we feel shoots up, and if someone happens to say “thankyou” then how “valued” we feel also shoots up. These things change the amount of serotonin and ocytocin moving around in our brains, but the experience is simpler to explain… we feel better. Not only do we feel better but the effects of this lift are not fleeting or momentary, they persist.

      It’s a really simple thing… when we do things to help other people then we feel better about ourselves, and this is what you have noticed. Now that you know this you can apply it perfectly deliberately. If I am feeling low in myself then I will perfectly deliberately find something to do that helps someone else. Or if I can’t find anyone suitable at the time then I will go and do a good thing… anything that is good for others will do, like pick up litter on a beach. I will always feel better afterwards, and I will feel better because I have just boosted how “worthy” I think I am.

      Stopping drinking stops me from being a drunk and all the problems that come with that… guilt, shame, lies etc. And…[Read more]

    • Great post @missfreedom and a great response from @daveh. Helping others does seem to also help ourselves!

    • So nice to hear!!

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    That is fantastic . One day at a time . Life is sooooo much better without alcohol . xxx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Bravossimo !!! My cat is a big part of my recovery , couches too . Haha .You are doing this wow . xxx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    You just made the best decision for your well being . Bravo .
    I , too , went to rehab , saved my life .

  • What joy it is to read all your posts .
    We are badasses warriors , that’s for sure . The longer sober i am the more i realise how this alcoholism is epidemic . So many of us .
    SO MANY .
    The desperation of this addiction is so strong and IT wants to take everything good in our life , until it takes our life really .
    To not drink , just for one day, is a miracle .
    That is what i wish for all of you , a day , a miracle and with it peace of mind .
    xxx

  • Oh my God . I did it , i spoke for 45 minutes at an AA meeting before a big crowd . I cannot remember what i said but people loved it .What a feeling . I have a big headache but i feel great .
    The feeling you feel once you hit the water after jumping off the big diveboard.
    Goodnight everyone .
    xxx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hello , i can relate to everything you wrote . 418 days ago after another blackout episode i took the bull by the horns and decided to do something drastic and life changing , i decided to go to rehab for 3 weeks . This is the best decision of my life . I had tried so many times on my own , 6 months , 9 months , one year and half but always went back to drinking .
    At the end , i felt like i was losing pieces of my soul . I was desperate.
    My life now is so much better .
    No , it ain’t easy not to drink , my partner still drinks , but not drinking makes everything so much easier and the peace of mind is tne greatest gift and i wish that for you too.

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Fantastic , day 8 , you are doing this and you know it will get easier . No matter on what day we are , we all must stay vigilant to our inner thoughts .
    Have a great day .

  • Day 418 , rain .Good for the flower beds . Good also to go to my studio painting .
    I can see a difference in my attitude with my co-workers at work . I am much more patient . And this has clearly to do with me being sober .
    Tonight at 8 pm i will be seating down in front of 70 persons to share my story for 40 minutes .
    Big big big move for me .
    Have a nice sober day everyone .

    • Day 418!!!
      And more daily contentment….AND a big speaking event tonight.
      You will do great and give others the greatest gift possible….

      Hope.

      oxoxox

    • Oh gosh you are amazing well done! let us know how you get on!

    • Lovely to experience more patience – peaceful for us and for them 🙂 🙂 🙂
      Do please give us a post about how your story went! That is a big crowd … heck, brave!!!!

  • One day at a time , you can do it , if i can you can . I am at day 415 .
    But you need to REALLY WANT IT . It ain’t easy but it is do’able . One day at a time .
    It ain’t always easy not to drink but my life is much easier since i have become sober .
    My mind fantasize about having a glass of wine but i know the REALITY of me drinking .
    It just ain’t good .
    I want good .
    I want what is best for me .
    I want to be free.
    So bye bye fantasy , hello reality .
    …………………………………………………..

    Bonne journée xxxx

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    You have landed in a great support group . Very normal to be scared but be reassured that the more days you have sober the better it will get . The trick i used at the beginning is : today i won’t drink , i’ ll drink tomorrow ….than tomorrow comes and i said the same thing all over again and tomorrow never comes ….you have to trick that sneaky addictive brain cause believe me it will try to trick you . You should be proud for choosing to free yourself from something that is bringing you down . Bravo xxxLooking forward to reading your posts .

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    welcome !

    • Thank you it’s a little bit daunting and scary but I know it’s the right time to be here 😬

      • You have landed in a great support group . Very normal to be scared but be reassured that the more days you have sober the better it will get . The trick i used at the beginning is : today i won’t drink , i’ ll drink tomorrow ….than tomorrow comes and i said the same thing all over again and tomorrow never comes ….you have to trick that sneaky addictive brain cause believe me it will try to trick you . You should be proud for choosing to free yourself from something that is bringing you down . Bravo xxxLooking forward to reading your posts .

  • The sun is shining , i did not drink last night , start of day 413 , still free and feel like a badass lady , not bad .
    Bonne journée xxx

  • This morning , my last monthly meeting , the 12 th one . Now i will have completed my program at rehab .
    Day 412 .
    Waking up hangover free is still heaven .

  • Day 410 , in bed with purring cat on my bed , only 8: 38 pm but ouf i am good outdoor work tired .
    I cannot believe i will be sharing my story in one week in front of 70 people at a AA meeting .
    I am trying very hard NOT TO THINK AHEAD .And breath and have faith that the words will come .
    Imagine that , from day one , rehab and now being asked to share . Wow .
    Have a lovely sober evening everyone .
    zzzzzzzz

    • Super congrats! You will be awesome. The purring pusster will be happy with a nice warm bed! ❤️

    • Hi @missfreedom Talking in front of others is always nerve-wracking but if you can take a tip from someone’s who’s done this quite often there’s a way to make it easier. You know in general what you’re going to say but if you prepare how you start and how you will end then it will go just fine… once you start it will all flow of its own accord. You only need to tell your story; what it was like, what you did, and what it’s like now. This is all stuff you know well. Imagine you are speaking to yourself 410 days ago… what did you need to hear in your first meeting? The ones that have been around for years don’t matter, it’s the new ones that count… what did YOU need to hear? I suspect you needed to hear someone say, “Yes. Me too”. When you describe your own position in terms of emotions you will describe what the newcomer is feeling, but they didn’t realise every other alcoholic felt it too. Speak from the heart, and talk about how it felt. There’s no need to be fancy about this… it isn’t a competition. It’s interesting how meetings are different around the world. If you were a newcomer in New Zealand you’d be asked to share at your first meeting! Sharing is not reserved to those with significant sober-time here, and outside the big towns the meetings are often so small that everyone will share every time. You’ll be fine. It isn’t an exam that you have to get a pass mark in to progress.

    • Fantastic @MissFreedom! You will be an inspiration at the meeting. Bonne nuit! x

    • @missfreedom that is awesome. Just remember they are all there for the same reason you are and eager to hear your story – helps everyone stay sober! Hooray!

    • And you show by example how it is done. That is the legacy we leave, not just for ourselves but for others. What a journey this is!! Congrats!

    • U will be amazing @missfreedom! I love speaker meetings!

  • MissFreedom posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

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