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  • MissBennet posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    Day 4 – finally stopped sulking from my slip. Climbed a mountain. Breathed fresh air. Sat, contemplated @prudence “make the decision”, talked to the gods, watched the world go by, and thought yup, she’s right. A bit like @mari135 Russell Brand always thinking about the “what if”. Time to call it a day on the drinking and “see what life has to offer”, or as Kate at Sober School says, “go all in”. Instead of the passivity, go on the ‘this is how it is’ and roll. So end of. I don’t drink. I have a problem. Full stop. Bring on brighter days. (Oosh that accepting I have a problem out loud is eeeek!)

    • Well done you. The decision is everything. Don’t worry about all the how’s and what if’s – they get worked out along the way. Soak in the good experiences you can have and slowly you’ll start seeing potential. Even the hardest days sober are better than any drinking day when you consider the big picture.
      One foot in front of the other. You can do this! Xo

    • HI @Missbennett “Oosh that accepting I have a problem out loud is eeeek!” Isn’t it just, but it is also really important. The reason we don’t want to accept that we have a problem is because of the shame that comes with it; we don’t want to be an Alcoholic because that’s shameful! But this is a completely incorrect accusation. People who are bi-polar aren’t shamed, not are people with depression or anxiety disorders, and alcoholism is no different… they are all conditions where the brain is working in ways that are unhelpful and unwanted. Shame only exists by the consent of the shamed. Our brains are mis-performing and we haven’t chosen this to happen, and this means that shame is not attributable to us. Shame is only attributable when the actions of the individual are freely chosen… not when they are enforced. There is nothing shameful about being an alcoholic and anyone casting shame does so through lack of understanding. One of the big things we can do to help ourselves early on is to not be one of those people casting shame. Our condition is not chosen it is inflicted on us and as such this warrants compassion not shame. Alcoholism attracts shame through ignorance and when we stop looking at our problem as failure and start recognising is as illness then we have something to work with that isn’t crushing us. When we recognise it as illness then we can look at ways to treat the illness… and shame disappears! Something I did was I put a post-it note on my bathroom mirror. It read “I am an alcoholic”. Then each morning in the shower I would think about that and follow the thought wherever it went. I am an alcoholic… what does that do to how I think, what are my challenges going to be today, what am I going to meet, what am I going to do about these to stop them or get past them… etc.
      There is no shame in being an alcoholic. People that cast shame do so from ignorance… I learned to forgive them their ignorance. That was their problem to deal with not mine. My problem was what I was going to do about it.

      • Mm debate that of being ashamed of being bipolar, huge stigma still out there, and huge regrets of spending approx 5 yrs in n out of looney bins, rehabs, residential care, over today of shitloads of meds, as meds added to, since op and hit depression. So..
        Depression more accepted out there b4 bipolar or schizophrenia, as i used to say i was, with lol violent sexual tendancies to scare the bajesus out of people when in care, left me well alone lol 😁🤔 @DaveH

    • Good for you! What helped me with the decision is that I only drank for the buzz. Once I accepted that I needed to give up the buzz, it was easy to stop drinking. I still wanted the escape but chose better ways to handle things than just escape. Making the decision is so freeing!

    • Kitchen sink recovery! Throw the kitchen sink at it 😀

      you sound like you’ve made a decision 🙂

    • Proud of ya @MissBennet
      You are in for some surprises. Good surprises. Shrug that booze shit right off and embrace the real you. Honestly, if you are open and accepting, it is not boring at all, it becomes quite exciting, and so fucking convenient to be so on point and together all the time. You get to do all sorts of stuff you wouldnt usually get around to. Being normal can really be pretty cool. Roll with it, and watch yourself shine xxx

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