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  • Michael6 posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hi all, day 9 here and feeling so good for it. I realised that there are two parts to acceptance in this alcoholic nightmare. I think I had been focusing mainly on the part about accepting that I cannot drink. But it seems that part two is the most important, which is accepting the thoughts and feelings that are there when I am sober and working through them. No matter what I think and feel I don’t HAVE TO drink. I also made a decision to not attend AA at this time. I have the utmost respect for AA. But for me I had developed an unhealthy relationship with it and “I have an illness and I can’t stop drinking” I think for me was making it worse. I am now taking responsibility for my actions. But yes, I need all the help I can get with this, as I cannot do it alone. And if I pick up alcohol today then I would become powerless over it again. Would I get in the ring with Mike Tyson?? So, a day at a time and please God I won’t return to the poison this time. I choose not to.

    • Great job on day 9! It sounds like you have a good attitude about it. I haven’t done any meetings…just interacting on this site, reading quit-lit books, and listening to podcasts. I’m on day 55. It’s the longest I haven’t drank in 20+ years (besides pregnancies). I think it’s great that you’re taking responsibility. You can do it. Just keep adding to your sober toolbox, checking in here and playing it forward all the way (good and bad scenarios) when you consider drinking. I’ve been so surprised at the thoughts and feelings I am dealing with and accepting now that I’m not numbing myself with alcohol. It’s healthy.

    • I know what you mean about considering it an illness makes it worse. I prefer to view it as a very silly and expensive habit. I find that helps a bit. Best wishes, Peter

      • Thanks for your response. I do think it can become a very bad illness. It certainly made me ill. I just feel deciding to get on with life and not sitting around saying I have an incurable disease is helping. But I know if I pick up I will activate the madness all over again. Born with it? Chicken or egg I don’t really care at this point. I just know I can’t drink and I need to deal with life with a sober head.

      • Absolutely the right attitude. Life can and will go on and we may as well be driving it.

    • Great job on day 9 @Micheal as well as your very keen vision on acceptance, as it is one of the number 1 elements of getting sober. Keep focusing on the first 2 parts that you seem to clearly recognise for now but acceptance will continue to play a massive role in many other things that we face during this journey, which will move into parts 3 ad infinium, as many things come into play that we don’t care to accept and are out of our control.

    • Congrats on day 9! I also did not attend AA this time and took a much different approach. The word “alcoholic” has no meaning to me. I prefer to describe myself as a person for whom alcohol causes much trouble. In other words the only label I give myself is non-drinker. If I’m being severe with myself I call myself an addict. I flipped the script in my head from what’s a good reason to not drink, to what’s a good reason TO drink. I made a decision to go all in and stop for good. After all, what’s the worst that could happen if I never drank again? After that it was battling the daily thought that I am not drinking so what else do I do? I had to learn how to live every day and every experience again without booze. After some sober time, the thoughts became less and my life became bigger. Just don’t drink and let sober time reveal to you how great your life can be!

    • Thank you

    • That’s a great attitude, a strong way, to take the responsibility but also take help if needed. By the way if I had the choice I would choose Tyson. He only bites ears off, alcohol takes your whole personality, your relations, your life!

    • Oh well said. Those thoughts and feelings…they’re just thoughts and feelings. Well done!

    • I will speak for our @Ro – read up on Rational Recovery. Many of us find this a far healthier mindset than the illness, forever in recovery, AA model. It may be helping millions, provide great companionship if a good group, but too much of it is a load of outdated old bollocks to me. Neuroscience understanding is the way to go, and as you say, taking responsibility – with all the help possible of course as part of that.

      • I agree with @Morgan and @Ro, Rational Recovery did it for me. I knew I was going to drink by day 5 so stayed home and dared RR to work for me on day 4. I only did the crash course exercise but that was enough.

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